Ugh I need to learn not to argue with others

Discussion in 'General Education' started by nyteacher29, Nov 16, 2013.

  1. nyteacher29

    nyteacher29 Comrade

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    Nov 16, 2013

    Ugh I always say I won't do it but got into argument with elder family member about teachers and tenure. He's an a$$ to begin with who thinks he knows everything. He kept comparing edu today to when he went to school and thinks we all just sit on our "fat butts collecting tax payers money while putting in a video" oh and then he said he knows we all drink on the job. Ugh I know better than to get into these arguments! What's the best line to just end these types of conversations. I ended it with, why don't you come one day, my p always offers the public to see what we do. He didn't like that very much
     
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  3. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    Nov 16, 2013

    When I encounter people like that, I usually say something like, "I'm not going to talk about this with you because it hurts my feelings." And then I don't allow the conversation to continue down that track. It's sometimes hard to do that, especially when there's so much I want to say, but it's much easier than letting hurt feelings ruin an otherwise good relationship.
     
  4. 2ndTimeAround

    2ndTimeAround Phenom

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    Nov 16, 2013

    I can handle logical, even if misinformed, arguments. But there is no way your relative honestly believes that ALL teachers just sit on their butts and put in videos every day. He is just using hyperbole to get your goat.

    I'm too old, too tired and too fed up with such treatment to take crap like that. I would have had to tell him "Yes, it is obvious that you only had crappy teachers. I'm sorry that happened to you. But that is no excuse to be such an a$$hole." And then I would have left the room.
     
  5. gr3teacher

    gr3teacher Phenom

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    Nov 16, 2013

    Generally, I say something to the effect of, "Whatever other teachers may do, that's not what is happening in my classroom," give them my best, "Go **** yourself" smile, and then move on.
     
  6. nyteacher29

    nyteacher29 Comrade

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    Ugh it's just so hard to let people trash teachers and lump them all together. But you all are right, I gotta learn!! It was hard because this guy is such a pompous a$$, I should have just excused myself from a misinformed and ignorant conversation ... Oh well, I'll remember that for the next family function!!

    2ndtime--- no he really thinks that. He thinks we all just count days until our big pay checks, then I showed him mine and asked if he thinks that's a big paycheck. I know regret even entertaining that convo! As a professional I know better!!! :unsure:
     
  7. RadiantBerg

    RadiantBerg Cohort

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    Nov 16, 2013

    I honestly just say "mmm" and shrug.
     
  8. Go Blue!

    Go Blue! Connoisseur

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    Nov 17, 2013

    "But I'm not fat ... "

    Truthfully, my response to people like this is: "ok." I don't bother trying to change their minds, not worth the frustration.
     
  9. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Nov 17, 2013

    "I'm not having this discussion."

    Then either change the subject or walk away.
     
  10. nyteacher29

    nyteacher29 Comrade

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    Nov 17, 2013

     
  11. dave1mo

    dave1mo Comrade

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    Nov 17, 2013

    It's not acceptable to lump us all together any more than it's acceptable to lump all salespeople together. How many of us have told a lawyer joke or ranted about used car salesmen, however?

    I'd wager a lot more than would admit it on this thread.

    We also make it easier to be lumped together by allowing our labor representation to refuse common-sense reforms like teacher accountability and pay based on performance. People in the private sector know that's how "the real world works," and the simple argument that "education is different" doesn't hold water (nor should it).
     
  12. kpa1b2

    kpa1b2 Aficionado

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    Nov 17, 2013

    ny, this is exactly why I'm dreading Thanksgiving this year! In my case, it's my younger brother and he's very racist. I'm not. I've always taught students from the city and they are overwhelmingly not the same race as I am. He will make very racist remarks. The sad part of it, I've learned as I've gotten older, is that a lot of my mother's family is that way. I just never noticed it when I was at home.

    I've spent the last 23 years in a completely different state from my family. The culture here is very different from my home state. My children have been raised to be accepting of all people regardless of race.

    Ah yes, it may be a challenging Thanksgiving.
     
  13. nyteacher29

    nyteacher29 Comrade

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    Nov 17, 2013

    Kpa--- unfortunately my uncle is like that as well. I love him dearly but when he starts I say, "please do not use that language in front of me, it is very disrespectful to me and I do not engage in conversations that use such language ." Thankfully he does stop and sometimes will even apologize to me.

    Relevation!!!! I should use that same phrase when others are bashing teachers with ignorant facts!!!
     
  14. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

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    Nov 17, 2013

    "That's an interesting assumption."

    "So kind of you to take an interest."

    "..." (Sometimes silence is the proper response to insults and ugly comments.)
     

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