Twins..what to do...

Discussion in 'Preschool' started by teach24iam, Jun 9, 2008.

  1. teach24iam

    teach24iam Comrade

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    Jun 9, 2008

    Ok...I want to get more opinions on this matter. I am a manager in a pre-school. We have children from 6 weeks up to Kindergarten. We often have sets of twins....Does anyone think it is absurd to seperate them when they are about 2 1/2 to 3? I think it is in the best interest of the 2 children to be seperated, so that they can create and develop their own set of skills, their own set of friends, their own set of personalities and so forth, and really become known as individuals versus the "twins". I think this is a bad stigma for the children and they need to be seperated for there self confidence, independence and an understanding of ones self versus "the two of them". The reason I am asking is that this mother is INSISTING on leaving them together and can not understand why we think it is so important. I just want to know what others think and as to whether or not I am crazy for being so persistent on this matter. Thank you all.
     
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  3. chicagoturtle

    chicagoturtle Fanatic

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    We have three set of twins in our pre-k. Two are together one set is separate. We still do a lot of things together. Of the two sets that are together one set rarely plays together. The other set does, but they do do different things at times. I think it depends on the situation. If the family is insisting maybe inquire further to see why. My cousins who are twins were in the same pre-k and requested that they be separated for kindergarten.
     
  4. hescollin

    hescollin Fanatic

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    We are a small school, so twins aren't seperated. I don't see a problem with leaving them together. In fact if I had twins I'd want them to be together. They will form their own special friends in time.
     
  5. TeacherShelly

    TeacherShelly Aficionado

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    It depends on the children's temperament and confidence with separation issues. If the children will be very upset to be separated, then I don't think there is any reason to put them through that. They are at a peak separation-issue stage, developmentally. Being away from mom might be enough of a challenge to help them over, without adding sibling separation, too. Their identity will not be harmed by being together in preschool.

    My daughters are twins and went to preschool with only one class, so no one ever asked me, but I would have kept them together. In kindergarten I had them separated (the school actually did ask me, to my surprise), because I wanted them to develop their own friends, interests, and mostly not to have to compete for friends, performance, etc.

    Hope that helps.
     
  6. jw13

    jw13 Groupie

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    I think early in a twin's school experience it is best for them to remain together. I think once they enter say K or first grade, then it is time for them to move into separate classrooms.

    My DS had twins in his preschool. They felt it was important to have them together at this age as they learn to bond with other children. It actually made them more likely to risk stepping away from each other, because of the security that the other was there. Now they function individually and developed different sets of friends.
     
  7. Tasha

    Tasha Phenom

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    I agree completely. I would explain your reasoning and leave it up to the parents from there.
     
  8. teach24iam

    teach24iam Comrade

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    Thank you, there are very many opinions, the only real thing that bothers me is that mom has NO reason, just because..basically she has said to the teachers (not to me) that it is just easier for her in dropoff then two....so it's basically about her and not her children....oh well...just wanted to see what everyone else thought.. thank you all!
     
  9. jw13

    jw13 Groupie

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    Well, to a certain extent I can sympathize with the parent. Having to coordinate two children of the same age isn't easy.
     
  10. teach24iam

    teach24iam Comrade

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    That to me is not an excuse! They are dropped off in the same room then seperated by the teachers! She doesn't wanna hear about it, no reasons behind our decisions, just all what she thinks is easier for her. I know these kids, I've known them since they were 6 weeks old. They need to be seperated. One is SOOO much more dominant over the other, and the other is much more passive and wants to do what he should be doing, where the other just runs around and is the more hyper of the two, but unfortunately rubs off on his brother after awhile and gets him going. Sorry don't mean to sound rude or vent, but in this case, this is what is best for the children involved. I understand and FIRMLY believe each situation is unique, and I just want what is best for the children, and STRONGLY feel that the seperation is right for them, but being in childcare, will wind up doing what the parent wants anyway...somedays I wonder why we are even there.... :(
     
  11. jw13

    jw13 Groupie

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    I understand. You have experience with these children, to know what is best. I have seen this in elem. school, when they are well beyond the need to be together, except in extenuating circumstances. I know it's frustrating for you.
     
  12. Tasha

    Tasha Phenom

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    That is the hardest part of our job - stepping back when you know the parent is not doing what is best for the child.
     
  13. RainStorm

    RainStorm Phenom

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    I think that in preschool twins should be allowed to stay together. In K or 1st, it is appropriate to seperate them.
     
  14. prekteach10

    prekteach10 Rookie

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    We also have multiple sets of twins in our center. I will have to agree with most other posters that it is all up to the parents. Some parents think it is easier to have them together. One parent told us she put them in the same kindergarten class because she did not want to have to explain to one why his brother did not have homework and he did have homework. For some twins they need to be separated for their own personality to form. But the most important thing is you have to make the parents happy or you run the risk of losing the children in your center.
     
  15. janlee

    janlee Devotee

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    If you are a private school you make the rules. If you wish to separate then it is your choice and the mother makes her choice to either keep her kids there or not. This could, of course, back fire on you. Parents see that they don't have the ability to make choices. If you are a public school with public funding I believe the parent has the right to make the decision as to where kids go. If you are adamant in your decision, if public, you could loose funding or run into other bureaucratic problems if the parent decides to pursue the issue.
     
  16. Mrs.Sheila

    Mrs.Sheila Cohort

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    I am a mother of twins, and when they were in preschool I realy wished they HAD been seperated. It wasn't done until this past school year for Kinder ~ and their learning differences are very strong now. Had we been able to see that earlier, it might have made a bit of difference.
     
  17. Taliesin

    Taliesin Rookie

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    I don't have any research or experience to offer but just wanted to say that if I had twins, I would want them to be together.
     
  18. AnonyMS

    AnonyMS SpEd Para! BASE room aide! RTI Facilitator!

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    She's the mom... that's all the reason she needs.

    I'm the mom of twins and I can't FATHOM them being separated. All the reasons that you listed do not sway me. My twins will STILL socialize with other kids, have their own personalities, develop their own friendship, etc.. Just as two regular students do!
     
  19. MsWK

    MsWK Habitué

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    It depends on the situation. In some cases, the parents suggest it; in others, they would rather the twins not be separated. We listen to their preferences and, if we don't have any strong feelings, do what they request. If we have strong feelings that they be separated, then we explain our reasoning. Even when they're separated, they're only apart from 9-12. Sometimes explaining to parents that they'll still be together much of the day helps. In any case, we NEVER separate prior to the 3-year-old year.

    We have more of an issue with parents wanting to keep their children with (or away from) certain friends. That's just not always realistic.
     
  20. Teacher2Be123

    Teacher2Be123 Companion

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    This thread is interesting in the fact that I was just talking about this with one of the girls I work with today. In our 3 year old room we have 2 sets of twins and then in the 18-30 months room we are about to gain a second set. My story is about one set in the older room. One of the sisters, we will call her J, was sick today and this was the second time ever that her and her sister (K) had to be separated for the day. I was talking to one of the girls in my room about it (she had them last year) and she said that she would separate them for groups and that worked well for her. J and K's teachers this year are having behavioral issues with the girls because they often let them play together, do groups together, not be separated.

    Anyways, I think that it depends on the set of twins, their personalities and what types of resources the schools have. I also know that most schools around me do not ask the parents what they want to do (Separate or together)...which I don't agree with.
     
  21. TeacherShelly

    TeacherShelly Aficionado

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    Gently: if the mother thinks you feel you know her kids' needs better than she does, she might be offended. It could seem a bit arrogant to her that you believe you have her kids' interest in mind (and she doesn't).

    Also, consider, it is exhausting to parent twins. "Easier" is not necessarily a cop out.
     

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