Twins: Separate or Together?

Discussion in 'General Education Archives' started by TeacherShelly, Jun 6, 2007.

  1. TeacherShelly

    TeacherShelly Aficionado

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2006
    Messages:
    3,565
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jun 6, 2007

    I'm looking for reasons to keep twins in the same class or separate them. If anyone has an opinion to share and wouldn't mind, let me know your reasoning and experience.

    I have identical twin daughters. They are two different people in every way. They look alike BUT chose different haircuts so everyone can tell them apart.

    The school I've chosen for them leaves it largely up to the parent whether or not to separate them.

    One of my daughters, at this moment in time, seems more skilled at making friends. They have Just started playing with other kids voluntarily. Until now, 5 years old, they have preferred each other or just to play alone.

    This same daughter tends to rely on her sister to answer questions for her. For example, she wants to sound out a word and gets stuck. She'll say, "Sis, you do it." Then her sister will do it, and they both seem satisfied.

    These reasons make me think they would benefit from separate classes. I've asked them, though, and they are adamant they want to be together. It's a big step, kindergarten. I'm thinking maybe to keep them together this year, and next year when school is more familiar, separate them.

    :confused:
     
  2.  
  3. mommaruthie

    mommaruthie Aficionado

    Joined:
    May 2, 2002
    Messages:
    3,014
    Likes Received:
    3

    Jun 7, 2007

    Every time this thread comes up I always post. You might want to do a search on atoz for 'twins'.
    I am an identical twin and i spent my childhood sucking my thumb and twiddling my hair while my sister answered/spoke for us. we couldnt function without each other being there.
    It definitely curbs for individuality and for socialization if your twin is there.
     
  4. ellen_a

    ellen_a Groupie

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2003
    Messages:
    1,237
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jun 7, 2007

    My twin and I were separated.
    We still depend on each other, but not nearly as much as we probably would have if we were together.
    My parents always wanted us to be our own people--we dressed differently, had different friends (to some extent), different interests, etc.
     
  5. Mrs.Sheila

    Mrs.Sheila Cohort

    Joined:
    Jul 22, 2006
    Messages:
    531
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jun 7, 2007

    without reading any replies.....

    I have fraternal twins, and our elementary here by default seperates twins! I am pretty glad though, because Charles and Holton are clearly 2 different personallities! Charles is the one who is very geared for education.. he CRAVES learning more, where Holton.. is your typical 5 year old boy! Alot of times in preschool Holton would rely on Charles to help him for the answers, or to be the "friend" rather then playing with another classmate. I see big advantages in my twins, because they are seeking to find 'themselves" even at 5, they want differences.... for the most part. There are times, they still dress alike, want the same things, but.. they are finding their own likes now.
     
  6. njteach

    njteach Rookie

    Joined:
    Dec 7, 2006
    Messages:
    25
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jun 7, 2007

    That's a tough decision . . .

    I am a twin. When we went to Kindergarten, we were separated at first, but they put us together in the middle of the year. I don't know why that happened, but since then we were together until we started college!!

    For us, it wasn't a detriment to be together. Actually, I think for me (I was very mothering to my sister. We were "neck-in-neck" academically, so that wasn't an issue.) I would have been a mess without her. I just always wanted to know where she was to make sure she was safe, happy, etc. I wouldn't say either of us was dependent on the other, but I was very concerned when she wasn't around. Of course, that diminished with age . . .

    I would say, however, that I think in most cases, separate would be better. Although, you could separate them for Kindergarten until they feel secure and then separate at 1st.

    Either way, I wish you the best, and I'm sure it will all work out fine. Live and learn, right?! :)
     
  7. cubfan

    cubfan Rookie

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2006
    Messages:
    30
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jun 7, 2007

    twins

    I had a twin in my room this year and her brother was in the other room. I teach kindergarten and was careful to work with the other teacher so that we were on the same page. I felt for the parents who were dealing with two different teachers/classrooms.
     
  8. Tasha

    Tasha Phenom

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2007
    Messages:
    4,391
    Likes Received:
    5

    Jun 7, 2007

    I think I would separate My best friend has twin girls in a small school where there is only one class per grade and no chance of separating. Unfortunately, the more outgoing twin has made many friends and left the less outgoing tin behind. The less outgoing twin depended on her sister to be her friend and partner all year. She hasn't developed any way of making her own friends because she knows that her twin will be her partner if no one else will. I have also seen them pretend to not know the answer in front of the teacher so that the other one doesn't look dumb (their words). Do you know if some of the K teachers are together for specials and lunch? This would allow them to see each other for part of the day while not being in the same class.
     
  9. TeacherRW

    TeacherRW Cohort

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2005
    Messages:
    564
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jun 8, 2007

    For kindergarten, I would leave them together especially if you think that there will be some major anxiety in worrying about each other. After this year, you can ask the teacher whether s/he feels strongly one way or another. I don't think that keeping them together would be a bad thing unless there is constant reliance on each other. And, if the reliance is curbing the child's ability to grow socially, emotionally, or academically, a move should be made to separate. I had one child from a set of fraternal twins. By 5th grade, there was no problem with the two of them. They didn't seem to have any uncanny connection that may have affected them. However, in a preschool setting of mine, we had a set of twins that were SO connected with each other it was scary. Even in different rooms, they could feel each other's pain. :eek:

    Good luck with your decision... mine would be to keep my kiddos together at least for the first couple months of kindergarten.
     
  10. Mizz Lucy

    Mizz Lucy Guest

    Jun 8, 2007

    If the kids want to be together, then keep them together.
    Once we tried to create some individuality in twins by separating them and it was a nightmare. Their learning suffered, they made dates to meet in the bathroom, they constantly lloked into the hall to get a glimpse, etc. It was heart wrenching.
     
  11. preschoolgal

    preschoolgal Rookie

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2006
    Messages:
    73
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jun 8, 2007

    Okay, I think I have had at least one set of twins in my class for every year I have taught so far. The only reason I would separate them is if one is more dependent on the other. In all of my cases there was one twin that was more independent than the other. The one that depended on the other suffered a lot because he or she always relied on his or her sibling to either speak for them, play with them, ect. Once they were separated, the dependence ended. The child learned how to get along on his or her own and in one case even learned how to form sentences and speak properly (that was the extreme case here). All I can say is trust your insticts. If you feel that they will do better separated then do that. If not, keep them together! Good luck!
     
  12. Sagette

    Sagette Companion

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2007
    Messages:
    222
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jun 8, 2007

    Another twin here! We went to a smaller school so we were always together. I do wish we had been placed in separate classes though for many of the reasons that others have posted. Individuality, socialization, etc. I think it would have made us more independent earlier on had we been separated.
     
  13. who me

    who me Rookie

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2006
    Messages:
    76
    Likes Received:
    2

    Jun 9, 2007

    My situation and thoughts too! :) :)
     
  14. Lotte

    Lotte Companion

    Joined:
    Jul 30, 2006
    Messages:
    166
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jun 10, 2007

    Separated.

    they are separate individuals and need to be able to grow like it.
     
  15. MrsMikesell

    MrsMikesell Cohort

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2006
    Messages:
    582
    Likes Received:
    1

    Jun 10, 2007

    I personally don't like having siblings together in a room - twin or otherwise.

    I just find that one has a "stronger" personality and kinda takes over the other one.

    My school tries to place siblings in different rooms.

    Kelly :)
     
  16. TeacherShelly

    TeacherShelly Aficionado

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2006
    Messages:
    3,565
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jun 11, 2007

    Good input, everyone.

    Here's the response I got (to my email) from the principal:
    "Typically in most public school settings, twins are placed in different classrooms. You may talk to me directly about the the placement of your children for Kinder next year. There are many variables involved in creating class lists. While we are more than happy to hear your requests, we cannot guarantee that your request will be accomodated."

    On the other hand, one of the K teachers told me in a tour that she thinks separating twins is a bad idea if the children really want to be together and aren't overly dependent on each other. She met my kids and thought they'd do well together.

    My instinct is telling me to keep them together for Kindergarten and re-evaluate for first grade.
     
  17. TeacherShelly

    TeacherShelly Aficionado

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2006
    Messages:
    3,565
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jun 13, 2007

    Oh great, now I'm waffling again.

    A friend of my best friend has identical triplets. She feels very very strongly that multiples should be separated. She said that everyone (yes, teachers, too), no matter how hard they try, will compare the kids to one another complicating the sibling rivalry, and their social development will also suffer. She said people will feel obligated to invite both kids to parties, even if they are friends with just one. She even put her triplets on different Little League teams.

    Can anyone help me work through all this? It is emotionally close to home so I'm feeling so much conflict.
     

Share This Page

Members Online Now

  1. Paris23,
  2. TeacherNY
Total: 249 (members: 2, guests: 214, robots: 33)
test