Trouble with Parents

Discussion in 'Preschool' started by pabef, Sep 21, 2007.

  1. pabef

    pabef Comrade

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    Sep 21, 2007

    My school has only been in session 2 weeks and I already have a couple of parents who are going to be a thorn in my side all year long. We have a new student who is from an Arab country that they clearly wish was not in attendance. This child has been adjusting to a new school and a new place and has been hitting some. Not anything violent or mean, just basically pushing and mild hitting. I still do not take this lightly, and have met with his parents. However these other parents want this child gone and say the the whole class has a problem with this. I told them that if there were other parents with problems they should call me. No one else has responded. The one set of parents said they were going to keep their child out of school for a while for his safety. Today he showed up all of a sudden with no explanation. The Arab student did not show up. When I called to check on him his mother said that it would be best if he did not return. After much conversation, I feel like someone had talked to her. I met with the other ringleader parent on Wednesday and she came back in today trying to say that I said things I did not and became irritated. I kept my cool and responded politely, even though I really wanted to tell her off. She left in a huff without her child, of course. After speaking with our minister (we are a church based school) I felt like I needed to tell her to hit the road. I can not deal with this all year long and I would be. At the end of school I politely told her that although we enjoy her daughter I felt like she had some issues with the school and was not happy with her experience here and that maybe it would be best if they found another school. She kept saying no and accused me of kicking her child out of school with no cause. Her husband called later and apologized for his wife's behavior and asked if they could come back if he brought her each day. I do not feel like this is good for the child to know her mother is unwelcome at school. I am making an effort by meeting with them and our minister on Monday. Am I overreacting? These kids come Monday, Wed, and Friday, so they have only been in school 6 days. I have been sick at my stomach the last 3.
     
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  3. tchecse

    tchecse Companion

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    Sep 23, 2007

    Yikes...I thought I had difficult parents! I can see where you are feeling caught between a rock and a hard place, as you don't want to punish the child for rude behavior by a parent. However, it is even more unfair for this Arabic family who was willing to work with you to feel unwelcome. I think that I would have to side with you on this one though. Not only is it WAY WAY out of line for a family to contact another family to criticize or lecture parents about their child's behavior, but this mother (and sounds like a few others) are displaying discriminatory behavior and that is certainly not what any school, religious or otherwise should tolerate. I think that this should be the focus of your conference. Due to HER behavior, SHE jeopardized her child's placement in this program by making other children and their families unwelcome at you school. While this was a poor choice, it could possibly have been resolved IF SHE HAD NOT GONE THE EXTRA MILE TO GET OTHER PARENTS TO JOIN HER CRUSADE. The fact that she was willing to drag other families into this (granted it might not have taken much convincing for some) does not promote the mission (both religiously and educationally) i'm sure for your center. I would say that after you get this family out of there, I would hold a parent meeting and explain that this sort of behavior is inexcusable and is deemed grounds to request their family to leave. I would also have the parents sign saying they are aware of this fact so noone can say they didn't hear you say this. If the minister agrees with your request to ask them to leave, I would also have the minister call the Arabic family and ask them to please reconsider returning-even for a trial basis-maybe even a discounted rate?-since they will no longer have to worry about parent attacking them or their child.

    Hope this helps:) Good Luck!!!!
     
  4. cutNglue

    cutNglue Magnifico

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    Sep 23, 2007

    :eek: Are you kidding?! WOW!

    Kicking one parent out and offering a reduced rate for this parent to return would be show the parents your sincerity in having them treated fairly and just here. If I had a poor image of Americans and then had someone bend over backwards to make sure I came back and it wasn't really monetary related, it might help ease those feelings some and show that not all of us are racists. WOW!
     
  5. pabef

    pabef Comrade

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    Sep 23, 2007

    Thanks!

    Thanks for the advice. You have no idea how much it helps to get someone elses opinion. I have since found out that both of these pareants have been calling others at my church who they think can help them. With no luck. The mother who confronted me Friday has told someone that she regrets what she did and wants to apologize. She is preganant and and stressed out. I am going to try to work this out with her under the understanding that she quit talking to other parents and move on. I have considered several times over the weekend, quitting my job. I have just been physically sick over this.
     
  6. cutNglue

    cutNglue Magnifico

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    Sep 23, 2007

    Don't quit. At least not until you know how your minister wants to handle it. That will be the true guide of where the church will go from there.
     
  7. tchecse

    tchecse Companion

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    Sep 23, 2007

    Hi-

    Please don't quit....If you WEREN'T upset/feeling sick over this, then I would say differently. Teachers/Directors/Admin. who really care about doing the best for their children and families are going to have these moments because we CARE and it is not just a "job". Take care and let us know how this goes!
     
  8. pabef

    pabef Comrade

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    Sep 23, 2007

    Thanks Again!

    I feel like I have found great support here and people who understand what a hard job we all have! I will post tomorrow after my meeting with my minister and the parent I asked to leave.
     
  9. tmoore

    tmoore Rookie

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    Sep 23, 2007

    I used to live in MS and completely understand what you're talking about. I'm teaching out-of-state now but periodically get physically ill when it comes to bad behaviour encircling my students. It's definitely worth you staying around to help these kids. You standing up to that parent is teaching somebody, somewhere a valuable lesson that NEEDS to be taught. Stay and know that we're all here to help you.
     
  10. TeacherSandra

    TeacherSandra Enthusiast

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    Sep 23, 2007

     

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