tough meeting

Discussion in 'General Education' started by stampin'teacher, Feb 8, 2012.

  1. stampin'teacher

    stampin'teacher Cohort

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    Feb 8, 2012

    Ugh...

    I just had a meeting with parents & admin about their son's progress report. I could totally tell how nervous I was, and I'm sure they could too (the parents are very passive aggressive, which unnerves me more than aggressive & direct people).

    The parents don't ask anything of their child, and admin was quieter than I wanted them to be (and that they said they would be in this particular meeting), so I basically had to tell the parent that they need to require more of their child & not feel that his lack of motivation is all my fault, and that it's a give & take relationship.

    I don't think I projected confidence, and just gave these passive aggressive parents more power!! Has anyone ever felt like they just bombed a meeting??
     
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  3. BB0211

    BB0211 Companion

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    Feb 8, 2012

    Yes, I have felt this way before.

    It's definitely tough if you feel you aren't being supported or validated for your hard work and effort.

    Try, try, try to validate yourself on this one. It seems perhaps the principal is intimidated or (for whatever reason) not assertively supporting you.

    Ask yourself if:
    -you properly prepared this child for success and if you communicated this to parents, admin.
    -you communicated/implemented supports in a timely manner
    -you are honestly wanting the best for this child

    If your honest, good-hearted intentions and best efforts are there: then you did your job. Pay yourself on the back.

    If you did not do all you could have done, consider devising a plan to implement now. Communicate this to admin. and the parents. You will feel better about what you do and (although, this isn't your main purpose for doing it) the parents/admin. may appreciate/see your effort.

    Good luck to you and I'm sorry to hear it did not go as planned. It happens. You're human!:hugs:
     
  4. TeachOn

    TeachOn Habitué

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    Feb 8, 2012

    I bet you did fine. We always feel more nervous than we appear to others. You told the truth, it sounds like to me. Administrators do often seem to check their spines at the schoolhouse door when there is a chance of parents dropping by.
     
  5. stampin'teacher

    stampin'teacher Cohort

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    Feb 8, 2012

    Thanks :)

    This student is not pushed at home. The parents feel that whatever he does on his own is developmentally appropriate, and asking more than what he wants to give is stifling his nature.

    That said, he is going into 4th grade where there is a higher academic requirement. Previous years at this progressive school is focused on building the social aspect of the child, with no real academic requirements (a totally separate issue I have with the school, but I work with the parameters I have).

    He CAN do the work, but if you're not pushed or asked anything of yourself, why WOULDN'T you just do the bare minimum? Since he isn't pushed at home, I as the teacher receive push back from him, and no support from the parent.

    She scares me. She is on our board of trustees. She says one thing but really thinks another. I don't trust her, and I think it made me really worry about this meeting, and I feel like it showed.

    I know I'll pick myself up from this, but I can't help but feel like the rest of the day is just shot re:my self esteem & confidence.
     
  6. BioAngel

    BioAngel Science Teacher - Grades 3-6

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    Feb 8, 2012

    Don't feel bad~ for myself I had to do a lot of parent conferences before I got through most of my nerves. I do about 70 parent conferences every year now during parent-teacher conferences, plus any other meetings that come up throughout the school year. So all that experience has really helped me. I'm sure it'll be the same for you-- the more experience you have doing conferences, the better you'll get. (This is my 4th year and I would say I'm around 40% confident that I can handle any type of parent)

    What I found to help me during my first years was to come up with a list of strengths, weaknesses, scores, and observations-- basically create a data sheet-- to share with the parents. That way if I had a "brain fart" (as I like to call them) because of nerves I would still be able to keep the discussion on track with that information. I still create this data sheet for every child when I have parent teacher conferences so that the parents walk away with documentation of what I said (to later cover my butt if need be).
     
  7. mopar

    mopar Multitudinous

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    Feb 8, 2012

    We all have those parents, those meetings, and those days. The best thing that you can do is keep documentation of what the parent says to you each time you speak, so that you have it to refer to later.
     

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