Too busy staring at me to complete his work?

Discussion in 'Elementary Education' started by Em_Catz, Feb 25, 2014.

  1. Em_Catz

    Em_Catz Devotee

    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2010
    Messages:
    1,150
    Likes Received:
    0

    Feb 25, 2014

    We are departmentalized at my school, so I have several reading students from other classes. One in particular baffles me because he (let's call him "Billy") is so busy staring at me that he barely gets any work done.

    When I do my reading rotation and it's his groups time for independent seat work, I require Billy to sit at a desk near my reading table so I can keep an eye on him.

    (He used to be allowed to stay with the group, but he would tease/poke/talk to/distract the other students and I was constantly having to stop reading groups and intervene or having a child come to me to complain about Billy)


    Anyway, all my students look/stare at me throughout the day, but Billy takes it to a whole new level. I promise that he spends at least 15 of his 20 minutes of independent work staring/sneaking peeks at me.

    At first I thought he was trying to see if I was looking at him so he could act up. Then I thought maybe he was doing it because he was amused and able to get under my skin.

    So as an experiment, I pretended not to see him, nor did I tell him to get back to work. I ignored him and kept doing my reading group.

    And...Billy stared at me the entire 10 minutes, his mouth hanging half open and seemingly hanging on to my every word. When the timer went off, he had barely done any of his (on level) work.

    So today after being told 3x to do his work and having his color moved, I finally turned his desk to face the wall. He STILL kept trying to turn around to sneak peeks/stare at me.

    He'd work a little, then stop and stare. Work a little, then stop and stare. When there was 2 minutes left on the timer, he stopped looking at me and tried to rush and finish everything.

    I don't think it's a matter of not getting attention at home because his parents had a very hard time getting pregnant after several miscarriages (Apparently I have a "Yes, please tell me your personal business during a parent-teacher conference" stamped across my forehead each year :rolleyes:) so he's especially cherished to the point of being a bit spoiled. He goes home on red almost everyday, but Mom says she can't bear to punish such a blessing from God.

    I talked to his homeroom teacher (who has him for a couple other subjects). The HR teacher said that she is overwhelmed with three E.D children (one has ODD, another severe autism and the 3rd has impulse control and anger issues in her class) so she is unable to give Billy much attention unless he's acting up. She also said he doesn't work in her class either.

    Any helpful tips to help this situation.
     
  2.  
  3. kcjo13

    kcjo13 Phenom

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2005
    Messages:
    4,395
    Likes Received:
    7

    Feb 25, 2014

    Ok, this is a really weird suggestion, but would taping your picture on his desk make a difference? As in, he could be working on his paper, glance at your picture, then back to work?

    Is it possible that you look like someone he knows? Like he's trying to figure out why you and Aunt Susan are practically identical?
     
  4. Em_Catz

    Em_Catz Devotee

    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2010
    Messages:
    1,150
    Likes Received:
    0

    Feb 25, 2014

    lol that's so funny to me. maybe i can ask him or his mom if I resemble someone they know.

    he doesn't look anything like me and is from another country, but anything's possible. I remember when I was six I thought my mom's coworker looked exactly like Whitley from "A Different World" (looking back all they had in common was being fair-skinned African Americans, thin and having curly black hair). I didn't stare at her but I thought she was the coolest thing ever because of that.

    Anyway, I like the picture idea (instead of taping it, I was thinking I might turn a photo I have of myself and my Mom on my desk) around so it faces him, but then I'd be concerned he'd spend all class staring at THAT. Maybe I can try it for a day or so and see if he'll work.
     
  5. kcjo13

    kcjo13 Phenom

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2005
    Messages:
    4,395
    Likes Received:
    7

    Feb 25, 2014

    When I was little, there was a man living in my town who scared the crap out of me, just by his looks. He is a very normal looking man, still lives here, and I look at him today and barely notice him! But I would cower in fear when I saw him when I was little. Strange, I know! But maybe...I am NOT saying that you are scary!...but maybe there is something about you that either scares/fascinates him?
     
  6. a2z

    a2z Virtuoso

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2010
    Messages:
    6,303
    Likes Received:
    2,194

    Feb 25, 2014

    Aw, Em. He just hangs on your every word.

    Get him a timer. Tell him he must work without looking around until the timer is up. At that point he can look up at you, reset the timer, and work some more.

    He may really not realize how much time he is spent gazing at your awesomeness! :D I do mean that in a good way and trying to make it funny at the same time.
     
  7. kcjo13

    kcjo13 Phenom

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2005
    Messages:
    4,395
    Likes Received:
    7

    Feb 25, 2014

    That's what I was thinking too a2z! He might have a crush on you too.
     
  8. Croissant

    Croissant Comrade

    Joined:
    Jul 15, 2011
    Messages:
    408
    Likes Received:
    0

    Feb 25, 2014

    I was also going to suggest he has a little crush. Could you try having him work for another teacher's room and see how much he gets done? Just as an experiment to try to isolate the reason.

    I like the idea of setting the timer!
     
  9. Proud2BATeacher

    Proud2BATeacher Phenom

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2005
    Messages:
    4,896
    Likes Received:
    5

    Feb 25, 2014

    I used to joke with one of my second graders who stared at me so much that I felt uncomfortable that I knew that I was beautiful but he just had to try his best to focus on his work and not me. :lol: It was usually enough to get him to get to work.
     
  10. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2006
    Messages:
    7,946
    Likes Received:
    4

    Feb 25, 2014

    I think he thinks highly of you. I know there was a teacher I had in middle school who kind of mesmerized me.
     
  11. Loveslabs

    Loveslabs Companion

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2013
    Messages:
    200
    Likes Received:
    0

    Feb 26, 2014

    I have a boy this year that stares at me to the point my skin starts to crawl. Often he would make comments about my shirt or how pretty my hair looked. I finally started staring back at him until he would give in and get back to work. It took a few days, but it is better now.
     
  12. a2z

    a2z Virtuoso

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2010
    Messages:
    6,303
    Likes Received:
    2,194

    Feb 26, 2014

    I was kind of joking about the idea that he has a crush on you because you said he does little work in the other class, but that is a possibility.

    You can use a timer with him (his own timer) to help him focus a bit. The other things I can think of off of the top of my head is that he doesn't always hear things correctly so he watches the teacher for direction at all times. He had a teacher who had a fit once for kids not paying attention to him or her and it rattled him so much he doesn't want to miss what he is supposed to hear.

    Talk to him. Get a hand sign between the two of you and when he sees it he gets back to work. Do you best to find out if he realizes he is doing it and come up with a plan for him to start his work instead of staring. He might just be thinking and thinking and thinking, not really staring at you, just using you as the focus point.

    I'm less inclined to think it is a problem doing the work because you said he rushes to get it done, but if he is just slapping something on the paper, his failure to initiate in multiple classes may signal a struggle to know how to start or failure to have that impulse to start. That is a symptom of ADHD, which I am not saying he has, but since it is a symptom it is also a naturally occurring problem in people. He may just really struggle with initiation.

    Lots of reasons this can be happening. What does he have to say?
     
  13. Em_Catz

    Em_Catz Devotee

    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2010
    Messages:
    1,150
    Likes Received:
    0

    Feb 26, 2014

    LMBO a2z and the rest of you are a trip! I confess I have been putting a bit more effort into my appearance(i've been catching a lot of sales at Macy's. The $86 dollar jacket I'm wearing today only cost me $24, then they knocked off another couple bucks b/c I paid with my Macy's credit card).

    Maybe I should start saying ''enjoying the view?'' But in all seriousness, I am going to try some of the suggestions you all have made including an idea I just had which is to talk to the guidance counselor just to cover my bases. If nothing else works, then I guess I'll just have to get used to that creepy crawly hair raising feeling I get when I feel him staring
     
  14. kcjo13

    kcjo13 Phenom

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2005
    Messages:
    4,395
    Likes Received:
    7

    Feb 26, 2014

    Maybe you need a reminder phrase for him-

    "Eyes down"
    "Eyes on your paper"
    "Where do your eyes need to be?"

    Etc...
     
  15. Croissant

    Croissant Comrade

    Joined:
    Jul 15, 2011
    Messages:
    408
    Likes Received:
    0

    Feb 26, 2014

    Or a "secret signal." You know, if I pull on my ear while you're looking at me, you need to but back to work.
     

Share This Page

Members Online Now

  1. catnfiddle,
  2. waterfall
Total: 183 (members: 4, guests: 157, robots: 22)
test