Tired of Staff Negativity

Discussion in 'General Education' started by woobie5, Dec 17, 2009.

  1. woobie5

    woobie5 Comrade

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    Dec 17, 2009

    How do I NOT let this bother me. This is my first year and I just feel like people/staff are so rude and unhelpful! They are quick to point out EVERYTHING I did/do wrong instead of praising me when/if I do anything right!

    The two that are the worst is the secretary (always pointing out when I wrote an attendance down wrong etc. I dropped a piece of paper by my mailbox today and she comes marching it in all rude etc. I didn't mean to:eek:).

    The cooks! OMG ... if I write a lunch down wrong or come too early or too late to lunch with my kiddos....talk about glares and comments!

    Oh ... and my aide. My lovely aide. Today we were doing a christmas craft and I asked the kids to take the wreaths back to the table to dry and she shouts out "Well did you have them put their names on them" I said "Ooops" and she rolled her eyes and got all huffy with the kids and started writing their name on them. SHEESH!

    Any advice? It's really getting to me. I feel like a horrible person AND teacher! I'm doing the best I can!
     
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  3. DenaliBear

    DenaliBear Rookie

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    Dec 17, 2009

    I'm not a teacher but reading this makes me feel so bad for you! It must be so stressful. I just wanted to point out that making mistakes does not make you a horrible person or teacher.
    You're doing the best you can and that's more than can be said for many other people.

    If it were me though, I would not be looking for praise because it sounds like you won't be getting it from them. Take the mistakes you've made and learn from them.

    Just remember why you came into this profession! :) All the other nonsense is just that -- Nonsense!!
     
  4. jen12

    jen12 Devotee

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    Dec 17, 2009

    I'm so sorry you have to put up with that. I hate when people forget where they came from and that they were new once, too.

    Hopefully after the holidays, people will come back rested and less stressed.
     
  5. I Am The Future

    I Am The Future Rookie

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    Dec 18, 2009

    Just take their criticism as a challenge to be better. Smother their negativity with a brightest smiles you can offer (maybe even go out of your way to do nice things for them, like baking cookies for the secretary), and ignore them. Either they're just grumpy because they're not happy with their own lives, or they are trying to put you down because you're new. Show them what you're made of.
     
  6. KLSSwimmer

    KLSSwimmer Habitué

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    Dec 18, 2009

    :Hugs: Hang in there! Kill them with kindness. You can do it!
     
  7. MissCeliaB

    MissCeliaB Aficionado

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    Dec 18, 2009

    That could have been me last year. I ended up leaving the school where I worked because I couldn't handle the constant criticism. Maybe speak to the principal?
     
  8. Hoot Owl

    Hoot Owl Aficionado

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    Dec 18, 2009

    I don't mean to sound harsh, but toughen up. Don't give them permission to upset you, if they say something negative, say, "Gee thanks for pointing that out to me." You have a loooonnnngggg career, build your own environment and make it pleasant. Smiles are contagious and often a surprise especially for the surly types. Hugs and good luck. Your next year will be much easier.
     
  9. mmswm

    mmswm Moderator

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    Dec 18, 2009

    :yeahthat:

    Chin up, kiddo. This is a tough job. May I make a non-negative suggestion? The kids of things you posted about made me think maybe you were struggling a bit with organization. The first year of teaching can be so overwhelming that any kind of organization just flies right out the window. For your own benefit, maybe spending a few hours over the break going over your day and making notes about what needs to be done and when, then writing them down to keep on your desk will help you remember everything you need to remember.

    For example. You said something about forgetting to have the kids put their names on a project. You could have an index card taped to your dest that says "Projects: 1) tell kids to get out _______, 2, tell kids to put their name on the top (or wherever you need the name), 3) give kids instructions.....and so on and so forth. Make index cards for the various types of things that you've been prone to forgetting steps, or just things that have a lot of steps so there's no chance you will forget.

    Everything will get easier with time. Next year, you'll have a better sense of how long this lesson or that activity takes, or how long it generally takes a class to clean up and line up to go somewhere. You won't have as many issues with getting places on time. All of the 100 billion tasks you have to remember to do will be almost second nature. Hang in there. You can do this :)
     
  10. bonneb

    bonneb Fanatic

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    Dec 18, 2009

    It sounds like some of the stuff I go through too! Except for the aide. She needs to be kindly and quietly told to please not correct you in front of the kids, that you are counting on her for support, so if you forget to have them put their names on something she can simply meet them at the table and put their names on or gently remind the kids to put their names on, NOT correct you.

    As for the rest, I actually caused a problem for several people one day this week. I didn't mean to, it has been a tough week for me - not sleeping but 3 hours a night!! Anyway, one of the teachers was really pressured and miffed, and someone else chastised me because I messed everything up -- I had apologized several times, finally I just said, "You know, I am not perfect and I don't work with anyone who is perfect. We just have to cover for each other when one messes up." Period.

    I agree to just keep smiling really big and saying "Thank you for pointing that out to me" and ignore the dirty looks. You have to rise above the negative comments or you will start being just like them.
     
  11. DrivingPigeon

    DrivingPigeon Phenom

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    Dec 18, 2009


    That's what I would try to do, too! When you dropped the piece of paper, "Oh, no! I am so sorry I dropped that! Ooops! Thank you so much for picking it up for me!" This drives people crazy. ;)

    I'm the same way as you, though. I'm just a very sensitive person and I take things personally.
     
  12. bonneb

    bonneb Fanatic

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    Dec 18, 2009

    Sounds like a good time for a break!
     
  13. KinderCowgirl

    KinderCowgirl Phenom

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    Dec 18, 2009

    Our secretaries and cafeteria staff are the same way. Honestly, I'm sure they are out there, but I've never worked in a school with a nice secretary! Although, I also couldn't do their job, dealing with admin and parents all day. They are probably talking to everyone that way when they make mistakes. All you can do, as others have said, is smile and make a mental note, not to do that again. Being late to the cafeteria throws the ladies off-they don't have the time in between classes to prepare enough trays (in our school anyway), so I can kind of understand their frustration.
     
  14. mmswm

    mmswm Moderator

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    Dec 18, 2009

    Temporary hijack....

    I LOVED my old school secretary. She was the best.

    Okay, not back to the thread :D
     
  15. oldfashioned

    oldfashioned Comrade

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    Dec 18, 2009

    Our sourpuss school secretary retired last school year, and her replacement is like a ray of sunshine. That retirement brightened up the entire school, I can tell you! EVERYONE seems friendlier and less touchy this year - hooray!

    My only advice to the OP is to be the very best at your job that you can be. You're the only person that you can control anyway.
     
  16. creativemonster

    creativemonster Comrade

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    Dec 18, 2009

    I needed this post today - THANK YOU!!! I too miss hearing the positives and it seems that the not so positive is loud and clear. I hope I can find a way in my teaching to always keep this in mind. Many of my students are as sensitive as I am and need that positive reinforcement. I can't control what others say, but I can remember to treat others the way I hope to be treated. Woobie5, hang in there. Tell yourself three things you did today that you're proud of. Let's be our own mentors.
    oooh. I think I just found homework for myself. Three things I did at school that I'm proud of. Hmmm....
     
  17. Rebel1

    Rebel1 Connoisseur

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    Dec 18, 2009

    Don't be a laundry basket for these people! A lot of people are just ignorant and insensitive because of what molded their behaviors. They do not think about what their negative behaviors are doing to nice people, like yourself. Some of them just DON'T KNOW HOW TO ACT! I've mentioned a lot of times before, "Don't let them see you sweat!" Just do your thing and ignore their evil ways. Every dog will have its day. You can be that POSITIVE FORCE that can trigger a CHANGE in your work place. It can happen.
    Good luck,
    Rebel1
     
  18. Bumble

    Bumble Groupie

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    Dec 18, 2009

    I had this problem, but then I spoke up. I said, "I'm here to do my job. I am not a child, so don't speak to me in a condescending manner." Now this person is a doll and does anything I ask her to do. First year teachers need to speak up more. :)
     
  19. kpa1b2

    kpa1b2 Aficionado

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    Dec 18, 2009

    I use to work with a secretary who would get all huffy if you just came to her and ask her a question without saying hello
    1st. I just learned to say hello or good morning or whatever before I said anything else to her. Made my life much easier.

    As for the lunch ladies, use a kitchen timer & set it to go off x number of minutes before lunch (however long it takes your class to clean up & get to lunch). With the kitchen timer you can set it any time up to 60 min. I used mine all the time last year when I had kids coming & going. I'd notice the clock & then set the timer so I'd remember to send the child to where ever. Works like a charm.

    I also write notes to myself all the time. I post things on my chalkboard so I see it or tape it to the door (I do this to remind myself to shut the windows before leaving at night).
     
  20. doubletrouble

    doubletrouble Companion

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    Dec 18, 2009

    Kill Em With Kindness!
    You can get more flies with honey than vinegar.
     

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