throwing your own party?!

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by jenn888, Mar 2, 2014.

  1. jenn888

    jenn888 Rookie

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    Mar 2, 2014

    I have a co-worker who is throwing herself a birthday party. Am I wrong for thinking that this is tacky? She sent out invites and even expects gifts as she put the link to her Amazon wish list on the bottom of the email. We have to pay for admission to where she is having it and she has hinted around at someone providing her a cake. The place she is having it is where kids often have their parties (don't want to be specific never know who's reading;) ) so it's going to cost me about $40 if I go and bring a gift. Usually for birthdays my group of friends goes out to a nice restaurant and we all pay for the birthday girl's dinner/drinks and we all chip in on a gift card to that person's favorite place to shop. I guess that wasn't good enough for her. Anyways.....thoughts? Is it normal for an adult to give themselves a birthday party? :huh:

    p.s.

    It's not like the girl never had a birthday party before....if that was the case I would be for it.
     
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  3. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    An Amazon wish list?! That's just... NO.
     
  4. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    My girlfriend threw a tasteful cocktail party for her 50th....very good friends only, great drinks and nibbles, at her brothers very posh NYC apartment. No gifts expected, no admission fee. Just fun.
    Another friend threw something similar for her own 40th...again, no entrance fee. Great dj, lots of cocktails, and party guests got a lovely gift on the way out of the party...

    A party with an Amazon gift list link and entrance fee? Not so lovely. In fact, tacky. I'd have other plans that night.
     
  5. gr3teacher

    gr3teacher Phenom

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    The Amazon wish list is a little tacky (my standard birthday gift response is always, "You don't need to get me anything, but I've never turned down a gift card!") but I don't see the problem in them having a party for themselves.
     
  6. HistoryVA

    HistoryVA Devotee

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    Gifts and requiring guests to pay is tacky. Hosting a party where you cover all food, drinks, etc and say nothing about gifts would not be.
     
  7. lucybelle

    lucybelle Connoisseur

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    I always throw parties for myself! It's not tacky at all! If you want something, you do it.

    Asking for gifts is tacky.

    Asking people to BYOB or bring something to share is not tacky.
     
  8. dgpiaffeteach

    dgpiaffeteach Aficionado

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    I don't think throwing your own party is tacky at all. I have done places that charge admission like Cedar Point. I'm up front about cost and tell people there's no pressure to come. We always have a great time.

    If people asked what I wanted, I'd tell them no present is necessary, but if they kept asking, I might give them a few options that are on my amazon wish list. We just buy liquor or wine for our friends now.
     
  9. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

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    Mar 2, 2014

    Throwing a birthday party for yourself, not tacky.
    Having it in a place that charges admission, not tacky, but be braced for people who decide they can't afford to come.
    Including a wish list, TACKY! Etiquette doesn't permit wedding registries in invitations (the family of the couple is supposed to spread that information as requested), so having it in a birthday party invitation is out of line. I would politely say, "I'm afraid it won't be possible."
     
  10. teacherintexas

    teacherintexas Maven

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    She shouldn't have I listed her wish list, and she should pay the admission for guests at her party.

    Hosting your own party in itself isn't tacky at all, but to list basically a gift registry and to expect people to pay to attend is very tacky. Maybe a book from Miss Manners might be the best gift for this lady.
     
  11. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    I don't think it's tacky for an adult to plan his or her own birthday party. I mean, who else is going to do it? Parents?

    I don't think it's terrible to have the party at a place that charges admission, either. People might not attend because of that, but it's not in and of itself tacky.

    I agree with many others that including the gift list was tacky, as was the suggestion/expectation that someone else bring her cake.
     
  12. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    I'm not particularly for birthday parties for adults in general, unless it's a milestone one, such as one's 30th, 40th, 50th...you get the idea.

    If it's one of the above b-days, I guess I don't see anything wrong with throwing it for oneself. An ex-coworker of mine in her 50s (I believe) threw herself one.

    I guess if you don't think anyone else will do it for you & you really, really want one, why not! I'd probably never do it for myself though.
     
  13. sue35

    sue35 Habitué

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    The wish list is the part that is extremely tacky. You aren't even supposed to put registry information on shower invites, much less a birthday.
     
  14. MissScrimmage

    MissScrimmage Aficionado

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    I throw my own birthday party every year. A few friends always offer to throw me one, but not all my friends and family know each other, so if I throw my own party I can ensure everyone I know will make it onto the guest list and receive their invite. It's always pretty low key - backyard BBQ or at the park. It's more about spending the day with the people I love than actually celebrating my birthday.
     
  15. Linguist92021

    Linguist92021 Phenom

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    In my culture - and in many others - the birthday person hosts the party, this is normally a party at home, with food prepared at home. I see nothing wrong with it, but I would never ask for gifts.
     
  16. Ima Teacher

    Ima Teacher Virtuoso

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    I threw my own birthday party last year.

    I invited my closest friends out for dinner and shopping. They paid for their own dinner, and a couple of them brought small gifts although I had requested no gifts.

    I also threw a Valentine's Day party. I hosted at my house. I bought decorations and made the main course. Guests brought side dishes and desserts. We also brought cheap gifts to give as prizes for the games we played.

    Gift list. Tacky.
     
  17. YoungTeacherGuy

    YoungTeacherGuy Phenom

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    There's nothing wrong with planning a party for yourself.

    I'm very low-key about my birthday, though, and don't like to do much (other than go to dinner with my parents) to celebrate.
     
  18. waterfall

    waterfall Virtuoso

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    Isn't it pretty standard to plan your own birthday? I've never heard of someone else planning a party for a friend or whatever unless it was a surprise party. I agree the gift thing is tacky, but not the rest of it. My friends and I usually just go out for dinner/drinks and we'll pay for things for the birthday person. We don't have too many places that require extravagant covers in my city but if you consider a dinner out and several drinks, I guess there is sort of an expectation that you'd end up paying at least $40 or so to go to the event. Maybe it's because of our age, but I don't know anyone who has parties at their homes with homemade food. We always go out.
     
  19. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Maven

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    Mar 3, 2014

    Yeah, my cousin does this regularly. She throws parties for herself usually at her place but sometimes will go to a restaurant or club. In the past she used to "hint" at certain gifts she wanted but as she has gotten older she stopped mentioning gifts.
     

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