This Week's Laughs

Discussion in 'General Education' started by MrsC, Feb 19, 2010.

  1. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    Feb 19, 2010

    I have students with wonderful senses of humour; they make me laugh every day! This week's highlights:

    On Wednesday, one of my Grade 8 boys had a serious case of "bed-head". When he saw me first thing in the morning, he said, "MrsC, do you see this hair? Well, this hair is all your fault!" It seems that he liked the book I loaned him so much that he decided to read for a couple of minutes after his shower and before he dried his hair. The couple of minutes turned into a couple of hours and the results were not a pretty sight. This morning, I asked him where he was in the book and he replied, "I haven't read much the past couple of days; I need to think about my hair!"

    Sigh...I love my job!
     
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  3. hatima

    hatima Devotee

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    Feb 19, 2010

    :dizzy:
    :lol:

    Boys are very dramatic when it comes to their hair.
     
  4. Hoot Owl

    Hoot Owl Aficionado

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    Feb 19, 2010

    That's so funny!!!!
     
  5. teaching4God

    teaching4God Cohort

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    Feb 19, 2010

    I've got one. A kid told me he couldn't do his science fair project because he has to go to WWE Raw on the day it was due.
     
  6. blazer

    blazer Connoisseur

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    We once had a girl's parent write in to say that her daughter had been absent from school because she had no hair spray!
     
  7. amakaye

    amakaye Enthusiast

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    Feb 19, 2010

    My grandma sent me a package today, and it had quite a few baked goodies in it (more than I need to eat by myself!). So, I decided to share the chocolate chip cookies with my students. They asked me where she lived; I explained that she was from Wisconsin. They were amazed by the fact that there cookies were made in Wisconsin--when they were waiting in the hall for buses I heard them telling the second graders, "These are WISCONSIN cookies!!"
     
  8. TamiJ

    TamiJ Virtuoso

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    Feb 19, 2010

    For the last couple of weeks I have been having kids write their complaints (tattles) and put it in the complaint box (based on some suggestions I have seen here). On Tuesday this week, my one student wrote a note saying how one of his group members has used sooo many points (they earn group points but spend them to go to the bathroom, etc.) just going to the bathroom. Included on this note was a graph he drew to show her usage of points in a two-week span (I suppose the visual was supposed to really drive home his point). Anyway, my student teacher and I were cracking up...ONly he would draw a graph to represent such a thing...and in the 1st grade..lol
     
  9. agsrule!

    agsrule! Companion

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    Feb 20, 2010

    Missing Pencil

    7th grade boy got up to turn in his paper. When he came back to his desk to start the next assignment, his pencil was missing. He muttered, "Where's my pencil? Did you take my pencil (he asks the girl behind him)? Who has my pencil? Miss ____ Someone stole my pencil." I chuckle and say that I doubt someone took it, and to look on the floor. He spends the next 10 minutes checking the floor, trashcan, pencil sharpener, back pack, and basket where he turned in the work. The entire time he's complaining and telling me that he's serious, someone did steal his pencil. Just as I'm about to hand him a new pencil, another student says, "It's in your ear!" I double over with laughter, and so did the class. Apparently when he got up, he stuck the pencil on top of his ear, and then because he's so ADHD, he forgot. It still makes me laugh.
     
  10. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    Feb 20, 2010

    I love it, agsrule!
     
  11. oldfashioned

    oldfashioned Comrade

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    Feb 20, 2010

    I've got one.

    One of my second graders recently brought in some old, old buttons that had belonged to his grandmother. As he told me about the buttons, I could recognize his mom's words in his mouth as he said, "These buttons are from before the second world war." and "Some of these buttons were brought from Poland by grandmother's ancestors." You know how you can tell a child has been "coached" as to what to say? Well, I could tell my student decided to add his own embellishment to the sharing when he said, "I think she was one of the pilgrims!"
     
  12. bandnerdtx

    bandnerdtx Aficionado

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    Feb 20, 2010

    My buddy teacher next door to me came into my room and started beating me with a stuffed penguin when I played "We Are the World" for the third time that day. LOL. She said, "I can't take it anymore!" Haha!
     
  13. msmullenjr

    msmullenjr Devotee

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    Feb 21, 2010

    On a particularly irritating day, routines seemed to be an overwhelming task for my class all of a sudden. So I yelled out in frustration "This is not Rocket Science Class, its 6th grade!!!"

    One boy looked around the room stunned, announced that he must be in the wrong room and promptly walked out of class. Another student had to go get him outside because he was afraid to come back in, but I was laughing too hard to be mad.
     
  14. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    Feb 21, 2010

    I love that story, msmullenjr! I have a couple of students who always seem to know what to say to lighten the mood!
     
  15. msmullenjr

    msmullenjr Devotee

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    Feb 21, 2010

    Truly comedic moments are the best!!!
     
  16. teach1st

    teach1st Comrade

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    Feb 21, 2010

    I had a student walk in with very clean new looking shoes. So, I, of course, said I really like your new shoes. The student says Oh they aren't new shoes. They were in the closet because they were too big. I said well I am glad they fit now. Then he shrugs his shoulders and says Yeah I guess they (the shoes) got smaller. It was all I could do not to begin laughing.
     
  17. blazer

    blazer Connoisseur

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    Feb 21, 2010

    If I am not wearing my glasses the students frequently say "Sir, you look different without your glasses" to which I reply "so do you", this always gets puzzled looks. Another reply I use is when a student says "Hi Sir" and I reply "yes 1 metre 86"!
     
  18. oldfashioned

    oldfashioned Comrade

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    Feb 21, 2010

    The things little kids say are funny because they are so totally serious when they say them. Sometimes it's hard to keep a straight face. . .
     
  19. teaching4God

    teaching4God Cohort

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    Mar 2, 2010

    My coteacher had a diorama of Martin Luther King Jr....only the student used Buddy the Elf as MLK. She said she held it together during his presentation until one of the student's said, "What is he wearing?"
     
  20. Jem

    Jem Aficionado

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    Mar 2, 2010

    When I taught in MI, my mother in law would send me huge bags of 'belly flops' (deformed Jelly Belly jelly beans) from the factory store in CA. I would put them on my desk in a jar, and use them for the occasional reward or birthday treat. The kids would do ANYTHING for a 'California jelly bean!!'. :haha:

    Our kindergarteners are working on presenting their daily projects to their peers. The head teacher was asking students who wanted to present, and two boys volunteered. The teacher told them they could pick 6 students between them to listen to their presentation.

    Teacher: You can pick 6 friends. How many do each of you get to pick?
    Boy 1: 6 and 6?
    Teacher: No, that's 12.
    Boy 2: 20 and 20?
    Teacher: No, that's 40.
    Boy 1: 6 and 1?
    Teacher: No, that's 7.
    Boy 2 (in a very exasperated voice): FINE! We'll just do 3 and 3.

    The other teacher and I were cracking up. To top it off, Boy 1 ran over to his first friend and announced "I'm going to pick people by SITTING on them!' and then flopped down in the lap of his friend.
     
  21. WhatchaDoin?

    WhatchaDoin? Comrade

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    Mar 2, 2010

    I had a pre-k student with the hiccups. Confused, he told me he was "hooking up."
     
  22. CGriswald309B

    CGriswald309B Rookie

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    Here is a little background info. I teach in a poverty stricken, drug infested, dangerous neighborhood. The kids are tough. Many times I forget how young they are. I teach 2nd grade.

    Here are my two of my favorites. The names have been changed to protect the innocent.

    Me: Why are you sitting at the guided reading table? You can't just get up and walk around when you like.
    Jenny: Chris always be cryin'. He be gettin' snot all up in my face.
    Anna: snicker, snicker
    Chris (who hears the conversation): waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
    Jenny: See?

    Me: Where is your homework? I just spoke to your grandfather about you not doing your homework three days ago.
    Julie: I don't got my backpack.
    Me: Where is it?
    Julie: It's at my friend's house.
    Me: So why don't you go and get it?
    Julie: I can't. YOU called my papa and now I'm grounded. I can't go to her house.
    Me: Sit down.

    I have more if anyone is interested.
     
  23. Moldy Peach

    Moldy Peach Rookie

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    Mar 4, 2010

    CGriswald, I'm definitely interested! The first one had me cracking up in first period. :) There's always something my high schoolers do that cracks me up everyday, but I can't seem to think of any at the moment...
     
  24. Upsadaisy

    Upsadaisy Moderator

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    I'm interested. Tell us more, CGriswald.
     
  25. midwestteacher

    midwestteacher Cohort

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    Mar 4, 2010

    There was an article on the net about caves that they found in Mexico that have huge crystals in them. I mean 55 feet long and weighing up to 65 tons. We had finished a test and I showed my sophomores the article and pictures at the end of class.

    One student "Wow, look at the size of those crystals. They could make a lot of crystal meth out of those."

    I told him I am relieved to know that he knows nothing about cooking meth.
     
  26. txmomteacher2

    txmomteacher2 Enthusiast

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    I have one kid who "possessed by Star Wars"
     
  27. stephenpe

    stephenpe Connoisseur

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    Mar 4, 2010

    I had a little girl in K once tell me to go get the hula loops.
    My early rising two year old (530am this morning) asked me what I was doing in the kitchen (she was watching Barney on TV in the LR). I told her I was getting some cereal for breakfast.
    She replied, "Dont make a mess, be careful" that should give a clue to her mom's obsessions.
     
  28. Crzy_ArtTeacher

    Crzy_ArtTeacher Comrade

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    Mar 4, 2010

    The other day I told the students, "You're showing me you're ready to learn by s****ing in your seats."

    It totally slipped out and none of my kids even noticed my word fumble.
     
  29. scholarteacher

    scholarteacher Connoisseur

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    One day in kindergarten, a boy complained that some of his crayons were missing, and that "Donnie" took them. Since the kids sat close together at tables, and since his crayons were a particular off brand, I figured it wouldn't be hard to figure out who took them. I checked Donnie's box, and sure enough, there were the missing crayons. But Donnie denied taking them. Just to verify, I asked a little girl nearby if she had seen anything happen. Donnie popped up and said, "Don't ask her! She was in the bathroom when I took em!"
     
  30. MissSkippyjonJones

    MissSkippyjonJones Comrade

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    Mar 4, 2010

    Last year before Christmas break I put on "Rudolph" at lunch for my kids, one of the boys taps me on the shoulder and very seriously tells me "Miss X you're just like the head elf, only nice." So I guess we shouldn't expect any dentists coming from my classroom!
     
  31. CGriswald309B

    CGriswald309B Rookie

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    Mar 4, 2010

    We were having a lesson in social studies about communities. I made the mistake of asking if anyone would like to talk about their community.

    Me: Would anyone like to tell the class about his or her community?
    Anna: There's lots of blacks and Mexicans. And dogs. They be doin' their business all over the place.
    Tom: The Mexicans?
    Me: Enough of that. Yes, there are a lot of African-Americans and Mexican-Americans in this community. I'm not sure about the dogs.
    Anna: There is!
    Me: Anyone else?
    Julie: My community be full of ghetto people. They always be yellin' at each other, their kids, the daddies don't be paying they child support, the police be coming 'round every night 'cause they sellin' drugs and shootin' at stuff.
    Chrissy: My friend is so ghetto she walked into HEB (a supermarket chain here in TX) with no shoes on.
    Julie: No THAT is ghetto.
    Entire class: Yep, yeah, uh-huh, etc.
     
  32. CGriswald309B

    CGriswald309B Rookie

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    Mar 4, 2010

    I don't think that kid has much of a shot at a life of crime.
     
  33. CindyBlue

    CindyBlue Cohort

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    Mar 4, 2010

    Oh, thank you so much, everyone - these are so great! I really needed to have some good giggles today!
     
  34. tgim

    tgim Habitué

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    Mar 4, 2010

    We had an independent writing assignment for homework that involved writing about what it would be like if your snowman came to life.

    A mom emailed me to tell me that her child was truly struggling with this concept. When she asked why none of his prewriting ideas would work for him, he said none of them could happen. She said that was okay because it was a story about something that couldn't ever happen and reminded him about realism and fantasy stories.

    He continued to struggle. She said it would be like writing about Alvin and the Chipmunks - they aren't real. His mouth fell open and he looked stunned, asking, "What do you mean they aren't REAL!!??" She told him they wore clothes, sang, danced, etc. He got mad and argued that of course they were REAL - He KNEW those chipmunks and he had seen them in a movie!!!
     
  35. tgim

    tgim Habitué

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    Mar 5, 2010

    Today - students are asked to write to tell about one state of matter and give an everyday example from life....one student writes, "Matter is anything that takes up space and has gas." I almost fell out of my chair - too funny!!
     
  36. Crzy_ArtTeacher

    Crzy_ArtTeacher Comrade

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    Mar 10, 2010

    One of my students was talking about how he found a mouse the other day and that he picked it up. I told him that he has to be careful picking wild animals up like that and that he really shouldn't do it because they could be sick. Another student overheard our conversation and said ya it could have rabies, or lice. Another student said, ya or it could have herpes. I think my little third grader has seen one too many commercials on tv.
     

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