This was posted in the teacher bathroom (LOL)...

Discussion in 'Just for Laughs' started by Amanda, Sep 18, 2003.

  1. Amanda

    Amanda Administrator Staff Member

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    Sep 18, 2003

    You Must Be A Teacher If....

    1. You believe the playground should be equipped with a Ritalin salt lick.
    2. You want to slug the next person who says, "Must be nice to work 8 to 3:20 and have summers free."
    3. You can tell if it's a full moon without ever looking outside.
    4. You believe "shallow gene pool" should have its own box in the report card.
    5. You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says, "Boy, the kids sure are mellow today."
    6. When out in public you feel the urge to snap your fingers at children you do not know and correct their behavior.
    7. You have no social life between August and June.
    8. Marking all A's on report cards would make your life SO much easier.
    9. You think people should be required to get a government permit before being allowed to reproduce.
    10. You wonder how some parents ever MANAGED to reproduce.
    11. You laugh uncontrollably when people refer to the staff room as the "lounge".
    12. You encourage an obnoxious parent to check into charter schools or home schooling.
    13. You can't have children because there's no name you could give a child that wouldn't bring on high blood pressure the moment you heard it uttered.
    14. You think caffeine should be available in intravenous form.
    15. You know you are in for a major project when a parent says, "I have a great idea I'd like to discuss. I think it would be such fun."
    16. Meeting a child's parent instantly answers the question, "Why is this kid like this?"



    Which are your favorites??? I like 3, 6, 13, and 16. :D
     
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  3. Amanda

    Amanda Administrator Staff Member

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    Sep 18, 2003

    ...or when a cold front is coming through. :)
     
  4. AJK

    AJK Pre-k Montessori Teacher

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    Sep 18, 2003

    My favorites are 5, 13 & 16
    :cool:
     
  5. Margo

    Margo Devotee

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    Sep 18, 2003

    #3 is so true. It is weird how that works.

    I can also relate to #6, #7 and #10
     
  6. Brenda S.

    Brenda S. Comrade

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    Sep 18, 2003

    That is a riot!

    I laughed on every single one. We have inservice tomorrow PM. I can't wait to share this!

    Thanks for sharing.
     
  7. austeach

    austeach Companion

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    Sep 18, 2003

    I copied this and put it on our staffroom tables this morning. I now have to make more as the others have been taken already. Everyone loves them.

    Thanks for the laugh Amanda. We need it as we head towards the end of the term.
     
  8. mommaruthie

    mommaruthie Aficionado

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    Sep 19, 2003

    i think we should post some of our own

    ... if you get excited when reading sunday's paper for sales on baby wipes and you have no babies at home


    .... If your jewlery consists of three dimensional dangly children and they are not representative of your grandchildren

    ... IF you have a deep frown line or are able to raise your eyebrows to the top of your hair line
     
  9. hillsidefogo

    hillsidefogo Companion

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    Sep 19, 2003

    Great laugh! I needed one. I like 6,11 and 13. I'd also add

    -all the shelves in your house are covered with figurines, trinkets and nic-nacs that you would never buy yourself but feel too guilty to throw out.

    -you can look at a basket, can, tub or other container and instantly come up with at least 3 uses for it.
     
  10. AngelaS

    AngelaS Cohort

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    Sep 19, 2003

    I had read Amanda's list someplace online before and LOVED it. I must say, mommaruthie and hillsidefogo, that yours are equally good, if not better, and ought to be part of the collection that gets emailed around. Great job!:D
     
  11. carolynz

    carolynz Rookie

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    Sep 20, 2003

    12. You encourage an obnoxious parent to check into charter schools or home schooling.


    LOL! Yeh, I was the obnoxious parent who found homeschooling! This is good. :D Thank you for posting it!
     
  12. mommaruthie

    mommaruthie Aficionado

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    Sep 20, 2003

    those of us in charter

    Funny thing about that is reverse: for those of us who teach at a charter school, you encourage the parents to leave and go to public!
     
  13. austeach

    austeach Companion

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    Sep 20, 2003

    - every speck in the hair could be head lice
    - every red spot could be chicken pox
    - every bruise could be child abuse

    No child escapes the teacher's everseeing eye.
     
  14. mommaruthie

    mommaruthie Aficionado

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    Sep 20, 2003

    i got two more

    when a musty parent walks by and you swear he is using marijuana

    or you think ring worm is a cigar burn
     
  15. emccoy

    emccoy Companion

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    Sep 21, 2003


    Number 2: My wife really doesn't understand......

    Numbers 9 & 11: Priceless

    Number 14: "Did anyone make the coffee, this morning...."

    Humor is SO based on truth.
    Ed
     
  16. MDMontessori

    MDMontessori Companion

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    Sep 22, 2003

    These are TERRIFIC. When I get home I am going to copy them and put them in MY PERMANENT file. I remember when that was a threat when I went to High School way back in the dark ages. Wonder if they use that any more? And what was a permanent file anyway???

    Eileen
     
  17. AngelaS

    AngelaS Cohort

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    Sep 22, 2003

    Yeah, we still use them. Cum files, pronounced kyume, short for cumulative. And yes, that IS still an effective (and very real) threat.:D
     

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