This One is for the Parents

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by Aces, Aug 5, 2018.

  1. Aces

    Aces Habitué

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    So I have a question for the parents of the group. What's your opinion on the subject of your kids attending the school you teach at? Our kids will be going to high school next year, and my hubby and I are rather divided on the subject. Personally, I'm of the opinion that I'd rather them go elsewhere. Hubby seems to think they'll be fine going to my h.s. They don't seem to have a serious opinion either way. What're your thoughts on this?
     
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  3. swansong1

    swansong1 Virtuoso

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    I was always glad when I taught in the school my children attended. I was there if they needed something and my children felt more secure.

    Interesting anecdote: My three children were in my school when 9/11 happened. Most of my students were picked up early by worried parents and I was thankful that I could have my children close. Many of the parents thought that Disney World may be a possible target and we were very close to that location.
     
  4. Ima Teacher

    Ima Teacher Maven

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    DSS attended the school where DH teaches, and even had him for class. They lived in the district, so it was his school. The middle school and high school are connected, so he was there for 7 years of his education.
     
  5. rpan

    rpan Cohort

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    I don’t have kids but I’ve taught kids whose parents were my colleagues. So I’m answering this question from a colleague point of view. I would say that some my colleagues were be difficult to deal with if I had negative feedback regarding their child’s behaviour or work output, and that impacted on our professional relationship, which was not a good outcome. I’ve also had colleagues pull their kid out of one teacher’s class into my class because they believed the other teacher was a more effective teacher or had better pedagogy. This can create awkwardness between colleagues. I’ve also requested that a colleague’s kid not be in my class (at the start of the year, after an in confidence chat with the AP), because that colleague was very unpredictable (she had many personal issues).
    So I think the answer to your question really depends on your personality as a parent and the personality of your kids.
     
  6. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    What do your kids think!
     
  7. agdamity

    agdamity Fanatic

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    My kids go with me (elementary). Every school is different, but I feel kind teacher kids are held to a higher standard in my building. They are expected to be perfect, when in reality, they are regular kids. Sometimes teachers in the building notify their teacher kids parents about issues they wouldn’t take the time to call another parent about simply because they have easier access. Balancing coworker/parent/teacher relationships can be tricky!
     
  8. Aces

    Aces Habitué

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    My thoughts are that for one I refuse to spy on my kids, which I feel like is almost an expectation if they were to go to my h.s. I feel like there's some things that teenagers get into that parents don't need to know about. Teens need their secrets, and in a high school, stuff goes around. I'm also concerned about the potential backlash from other students if they went to my h.s. How much undermining is it if they do really well? There will always be someone who says "oh well of course they did great, their dad is a teacher here, what do you expect?"

    On the flip side of the coin, my hubby is very much it won't make a difference, they'll stand on their own two feet with or without my influence at a school, so might as well leave them be. He has a "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" mindset on most concerns.

    The kidos have no real opinion either way, and have not voiced any concerns either way. We've discussed both possibilities with them.
     
  9. a2z

    a2z Virtuoso

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    If it is their base school and they have friends, I wouldn't have them go to a different school unless as a non-teacher parent you would have sent them elsewhere for their HS education. Kids have dealt with having parents as teachers in the same school forever.
     
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  10. Aces

    Aces Habitué

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    Parents can elect to send students outside of what should be considered their base school, and in reality, the high school we would send them too is closer to our house than mine is. Also, their friends will split up anyways as some will branch off to the technical high school and such things.
     
  11. dgpiaffeteach

    dgpiaffeteach Aficionado

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    I don't think I would. I'm the only option for two of their classes, and I think that would feel weird to me. Other teachers in our district have done it plenty of times though. I also have a tendency to be more anxious/worry a lot, so I feel like it would be hard for me to maintain a good balance and let them make their own mistakes.
     
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  12. a2z

    a2z Virtuoso

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    If kids would split anyway, I would send them to whatever school you would have sent them to if you were not a teacher.
     
  13. Aces

    Aces Habitué

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    I think this is basically where I'm coming from.
     
  14. viola_x_wittrockiana

    viola_x_wittrockiana Comrade

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    How comfortable are you with having students at your house? Would your kids be ok with not having certain friends over because they were current students of yours? I ask that because of some serious awkwardness that happened when the older brother of a girl in my year got hired as a science teacher. They lived in the same house, so his students were around because they were her friends. It's a bit different as a parent, but one can still appreciate the potentially undesirable dynamics.
     
  15. Aces

    Aces Habitué

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    That's a concern too. I don't exactly want students here.
     
  16. vickilyn

    vickilyn Multitudinous

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    I have taught where my son went to school, and I would like to say, without incident or long lasting emotional scars. I did not teach at the HS, figuring that my son needed the time to become more independent and self assured. His comments since those years was that he would have liked having me in the building, as an anchor, but since I was highly involved in the parent group that supported the track programs, as well as the Music Association/fundraising/and chaperoning for the multiple trips, it was "almost as good as if I worked in the building." It would have been a huge problem for our son to change districts, and it definitely would have impacted his social stability and growth. Maybe others have more "easy to implement" choices, but if other choices are not readily available, I believe that your students will thrive. I knew many of my son's friends from MS, and had them with me at our home/events, all without incident or problem.

    I believe that you can imagine a long list of reasons to NOT have your children in the same district, however, if it is the district they would normally attend, I believe that keeping them in their assigned district makes the most sense. Most teachers deal with having their own children in the school without any issue what so ever. Have a little faith not only in your students resilience, but also in your own.
     
  17. vickilyn

    vickilyn Multitudinous

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    I feel that this is a different issue, since the students living at the home were siblings, not the offspring of the teacher in question. Additionally, the newly hired teacher was only a relatively small number of years from being student age themselves. The parent of the students who may visit should be able to monitor what is happening at the home without undue interaction that could compromise the teacher/student relationship. The truth is that the teacher has interacted with offspring's friends over the years, while a sibling teacher has not.
     
  18. waterfall

    waterfall Virtuoso

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    I'm not a parent, but my parents were both teachers and they chose not to send me to either of their schools, which I am eternally grateful for. I'm an only child and they worked really hard to not be the "helicopter" type. My mom felt strongly that we each needed to have our own "school lives" and that she and my dad didn't need to know every little thing that was going on with me at school. After seeing many "staff kids" at our school over the years, I think my parents were 100% right to let me attend my own school.

    Like a pp mentioned, I also think it could create an awkward dynamic with your kids' friends. Are you comfortable having students in the house? Do you think students will want to go to their teacher's house to hang out with your kids? Will your kids be able to handle awkward situations where perhaps a friend doesn't like your class or complains about you? Are you going to be able to completely "let go" and stay out of their school lives (being involved only to the extent that a "regular parent" would be)?

    I'm really surprised your kids don't have an opinion either way. You must have really laid back kids! If one or more is younger right now, will they feel the same way when they're ready to enter HS?
     
    Last edited: Aug 6, 2018
  19. teacherintexas

    teacherintexas Maven

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    I attended the only high school in my district and my mom taught English. I only had her for one year, but my brother had her four years. There were some awkward moments but it wasn’t a problem on a big scale.
     
  20. geoteacher

    geoteacher Devotee

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    I was a teacher’s kid who attended the same high school where my dad taught. It really wasn’t an issue. I only saw him when I was in the gym area. I never had him for a class, but both my sisters did.

    I also taught in the same school where my kids attended. Again, it just wasn’t an issue. I had my daughter as a student, and I think she would say the same thing. Many of the teachers in my district have kids who also attend there. It is not uncommon to have your child in class.
     
  21. tchr4vr

    tchr4vr Comrade

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    I'm in this dilemma now. I can bring my son to my school, or he can stay where we live. I want to bring him to me because my school has more options for Dual Enrollment and AP, and I have a very well-organized plan for him for the next 5 years (he's in eighth grade). However, I know I would be very hard on him in my class (which he would not be able to avoid). I get a sense that it would make it difficult to come home and deal with him if he is not doing well in my class--it's already an issue now. Plus, I don't want to feel he always has to ask to go visit his friends - we'd have to drive 30 minutes to their homes--and I know he'd probably get tired of asking--so his social situation would be tough. He needs some autonomy. I think it depends on your, your child, and your relationship with that child.
     
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  22. Aces

    Aces Habitué

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    So we had a careful discussion with our kidos this evening. We basically presented and outlined all of the pros, cons, and risks of both options. We wanted to make sure that it was a free choice either way, but that they had the facts on both sides of the river so to speak. After much discussion, questions and answers, we've decided we're going to send them to my h.s.
     
  23. YoungTeacherGuy

    YoungTeacherGuy Phenom

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    We attended my mom’s school when we were in elementary.

    My mom taught my brother and sister. It was a non-issue. She chose to not put me in her class, though. Now that I’m an adult and an educator, I wholeheartedly believe she made the right decision. I was far too dependent on her as a kid and her being my teacher would’ve made me even more needy!
     
  24. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Phenom

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    In the district I used to work in teachers were not allowed to have their own children in their classes. It wasn't a problem because the district was so large that there were multiple elementary schools, 2 middle schools and 2 high schools. Each grade had multiple classes so there were always options as to where the students could be placed. It might be an issue if the school only had one class per grade and there were no other classes to place the teacher's child.
     
  25. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    I really like that you made the decision as a family and that your kids were such an important part of the discussion. My children would have hated it, but I've worked with many teachers whose children loved being at the same school as their parents.
     
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  26. Aces

    Aces Habitué

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    We generally try not to make massive decisions like this without at the very least getting their opinions on the situation. It seems a little unfair to just make a decision that effects them so much without their input.
     
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