This could not have been written by teachers...

Discussion in 'General Education' started by SpecSub, Jul 27, 2009.

  1. SpecSub

    SpecSub Comrade

    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2007
    Messages:
    322
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jul 27, 2009

    Advice from a website to help parents develop good relationships with teachers:

    "If you drop your child off at school every day, take this opportunity to walk your child into his or her classroom and have daily contact with the teacher. If an issue surfaces, this gives either of you the opportunity to bring it up and open the lines of communication. "

    Would any of you like a parent to do that?

    (from http://www.essortment.com/all/parentteacherc_rvzm.htm )
     
  2.  
  3. steftem

    steftem Rookie

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2008
    Messages:
    13
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jul 27, 2009

    Granted, I'm a first year teacher and I haven't experienced what many other teachers have, but YES! I'd rather talk to a parent everyday than to have them be upset at me or angry because of an issue and stew over it, then go to administration. Not only that, but it is good for my students. And if anything is good for them, it is good for me, too.
     
  4. katrinkit

    katrinkit Comrade

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2006
    Messages:
    274
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jul 27, 2009

    At our school, no one is allowed in the building until after we pray (small Catholic school). Parents may go into the office and make an appointment, but they are not allowed to walk in. Personally, I like that parents can't catch me off guard (although some do anyway). Having an appointment helps me to get myself prepped for anything that may be brought up.
     
  5. Jem

    Jem Aficionado

    Joined:
    May 7, 2008
    Messages:
    3,544
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jul 27, 2009

    At my last school, everyone was dropped off as it was a private school. I actually loved seeing the parents each morning. Sometimes they brought me coffee, sometimes they wanted to chat about progress, etc. I just prepared for that. As long as they were respectful of our starting time and didn't try to start a conversation about grades with 2 minutes before the day started, it was totally fine. That was the culture, though, so I made sure I didn't have to photocopy or plan in the morning.
     
  6. Ilovefirst

    Ilovefirst Comrade

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2007
    Messages:
    401
    Likes Received:
    3

    Jul 27, 2009

    At my school, parents are to get a visitor pass from the office or else they are not supposed to be anywhere but by the office in the main hallway. (arrival or dismissal) Having parents pop-in while I am teaching and expect that I can talk about their child really drives me nuts. I should note that students being picked up get dismissed first, so I still have the majority of my class in my room when this happens. And first thing in the morning, they all need something from me so I can't easily have a conversation with a parent then either.
     
  7. GoldenPoppy

    GoldenPoppy Habitué

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2007
    Messages:
    775
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jul 27, 2009

    We need to be available to the parents for 15 minutes both before and after school. I always arrive at school an hour before the bell so that I have time to do the copying and other things out of the classroom and then be back in my room in case anyone drops by.

    Quite often parents will come up and just stick their head in the door to say hello. It gave me an opportunity to talk with those I needed to speak with.
     
  8. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2005
    Messages:
    14,067
    Likes Received:
    1,884

    Jul 27, 2009

    While in theory this could alleviate some problems, it could create more than it would solve.
    - All visitors need to sign in at the office. A huge backlog would be created by all the parents signing in. If this policy were changed, it would cause a security risk for our students.
    - Meeting briefly with one or two parents would be possible, but what about my class of 30--how do I meet, even briefly, with all of those parents?
    - When I talk with parents about their child (no matter how casually), I jot down notes about the conversation; I don't have time to do this every morning if multiple parents decide to speak with me.
    - Mornings, before school, are busy. Teachers are on duty, supervising students who arrive early, providing extra help, attending meetings and preparing for the day.

    Urgent matters or concerns can be dealt with much more effectively through a phone call or an arranged appointment.
     
  9. Ilovefirst

    Ilovefirst Comrade

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2007
    Messages:
    401
    Likes Received:
    3

    Jul 27, 2009

    Before and after school is one thing. When kiddos are in my room is another.
     
  10. Teaching Grace

    Teaching Grace Connoisseur

    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2005
    Messages:
    1,731
    Likes Received:
    3

    Jul 27, 2009

    I don't mind parents coming in in the morning to talk but I'd rather they just come in and say,"I'm concerned about such-and-such, could you contact me during your planning so we can discuss it please." I haven't really had a problem with drop-ins though.
     
  11. tiffharmon2001

    tiffharmon2001 Comrade

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2009
    Messages:
    257
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jul 27, 2009

    Personally, I don't like parents to try to talk to me about problems, etc when the kids are being dropped off. For one, the kids come in wanting to tell me things or needing to give me things and that's where my focus needs to be. I need to be there for the kids from the moment they walk in, not talking with an adult (unless there were some sort of emergency situation). Another reason is because there are usually other parents present in the room during that time who don't need to overhear our conversation. That breaks confidentiality and (in my experience) can be the start of gossip between parents when someone overhears part of a conversation and passes it on to someone else.

    Also, I cannot get to school extra early to make time to talk with parents. I have four children of my own who I have to get ready for school and dropped off at their various schools and daycares. I'm not going to make my own children spend hours more than they already have to in child care or unsupervised outside the middle school just so I can be there to talk to a parent about why Susie didn't play with her child on the playground yesterday...I really need that time to get my brain changed over from being "mommy" to being "teacher".

    I am always available for a while after school or during my planning period to speak with parents. I am also willing to make appointment, return phone calls, or answer e-mails.
     
  12. nothermanda

    nothermanda Companion

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2007
    Messages:
    177
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jul 27, 2009

    If they just say "good morning" and then leave, that's okay, but not if it's a conversation. I'm not sure if this is right, but my students are my priority before the parents, and before school is the only time for many of my kids to come and ask for help. It's awkward to make a parent wait while I help a kid, but I still do it.

    Good point about the visitor sign-in backlog, MrsC. The few parents who still walk their kids to class in middle school (seriously, like, 3) are so well-known that the office isn't strict about making them sign in, but if it became a regular practice for more people, our little tiny office would become a sardine can!
     
  13. kacieann

    kacieann Companion

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2008
    Messages:
    247
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jul 27, 2009

    I think that I would enjoy parents in the morning if that was part of our routine. At the school that I am currently teaching at parents must sign in and are very rarely allowed to interrupt our instruction time. There have been times when I have encouraged parents to come and take a peek, but I must inform the office prior to parents coming. I really appreciate the fact that parents are not allowed to interrupt instruction time. It really changes the mood in a classroom when a parent come in.
     
  14. each1teach1

    each1teach1 Cohort

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2007
    Messages:
    716
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jul 27, 2009

    At the high school level, I just don't have time for it without an appointment. I had 164 kids last year. I don't think of their parents were roaming the building except one one or two that worked at the school and they kept me plenty busy. If you don't make an appointment, you might not even be able to find me because I'm all over the building running errands when I'm not teaching.
     
  15. Rockguykev

    Rockguykev Connoisseur

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2008
    Messages:
    1,934
    Likes Received:
    257

    Jul 27, 2009

    I love when parents come in to say hello. I tell them on Back to School Night that they paid for the building and pay my salary so they have a right to know what is going on in class.
     
  16. GoldenPoppy

    GoldenPoppy Habitué

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2007
    Messages:
    775
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jul 27, 2009

    Oh, yes, once class has started I am no longer available to chat with parents. If a parent is there when the bell rings, I excuse myself to go get my students. I've only had one parent in 20 years still in the classroom when we came back. I maneuvered them toward the door, said thanks for coming, and closed the door.

    The problem I often have is with visitors who are thinking of enrolling in our school. They have all sorts of questions (which is good), but they want to chat during class instead of waiting until recess. Our director, however, is really good about coming back promptly and taking the visitors to the next class or down to her office.
     
  17. NYSTeacher

    NYSTeacher Companion

    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2006
    Messages:
    191
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jul 27, 2009

    Parents are allowed to walk student to their classroom the first two weeks of school only and then my principal will not allow it to happen. Nor are parents allowed to simply walk into our rooms first thing in the morning. Yes, they may call. There have been many times where I've taken calls from parents as early as 6:45 (students enter the building at 7:00). I find that it is too difficult to discuss issues with parents that early though (i don't have enough coffee in my system so I may still be a little crabby).
    There have been times where parents barged into my trailer and tried to talk with me first thing in the morning and it's hard to do when students are entering my room and getting ready for their morning.

    Parents know my availability is for phone calls is in the morning and every day (but Wed.) from 2:15 until 3:30 or so. E-mail is always great as well and my parents of my students know they can request a conference at any time.

    However, the thought of daily communication (verbal, written, in person, etc) with a parent of every student every day is impossible and unacceptable to ask a teacher to do!!
     
  18. runnerss

    runnerss Comrade

    Joined:
    Jul 15, 2008
    Messages:
    445
    Likes Received:
    1

    Jul 27, 2009

    I want to know when a parent is upset as well. I like to solve problems as quickly as possible. However, everyday before school is a bit much when you have a class full of kids to take care of.
     
  19. runnerss

    runnerss Comrade

    Joined:
    Jul 15, 2008
    Messages:
    445
    Likes Received:
    1

    Jul 27, 2009

    I agree. :D
     
  20. WindyCityGal606

    WindyCityGal606 Enthusiast

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2006
    Messages:
    2,469
    Likes Received:
    12

    Jul 27, 2009

    I don't mind a quick hello on the playground when I am bringing my class in but I will not have a mini-conference about a student while within earshot of other students and parents. It's a privacy issue. It's also unprofessional. It's too easy to misspeak about a child's progress without my grade book and notes in front of me. We are also departmentalized so conferences involve the whole team, not just the homeroom teacher. I think email, telephone, and notes are sufficient means of contacting me to make an appointment. I actually appreciate parents who stick around until we come out to pick up the class in the mornings because I do enjoy a friendly hello from my parents.
     
  21. skittleroo

    skittleroo Connoisseur

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2008
    Messages:
    1,958
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jul 27, 2009

    I would want the parent to discuss this with me, but NOT when kids are coming into the room. By time kids arrive in my room, my job is to be with them.
     
  22. swansong1

    swansong1 Virtuoso

    Joined:
    May 19, 2007
    Messages:
    6,763
    Likes Received:
    1,718

    Jul 27, 2009

    This are my feelings, as well. I need to be completely focused on my students and my teaching day begins as soon as the first students come in the room. I have had problems with parents not understanding that they are not the center of my universe and I cannot be available at their beck and call.
    One of the most important skills we try to teach our children is independence. One way we do that is to have them walk to class on their own. It is usually the parents who have trouble letting go and wanting to come all the way to the classroom.
     
  23. tiffharmon2001

    tiffharmon2001 Comrade

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2009
    Messages:
    257
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jul 27, 2009

    I had a dad this past year whose son asked if he could walk himself in from the car. They compromised on having dad walk him in every other day (although when it wasn't dad's day, he just waited until the child wasn't watching a followed behind). He just wasn't ready to let him go.:rolleyes:

    This year, I'm going to let the parents into the room on the first two days of school-Thursday and Friday. On Monday, they will have to say goodbye at the bottom of the steps outside the room.
     
  24. BioAngel

    BioAngel Science Teacher - Grades 3-6

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2007
    Messages:
    3,644
    Likes Received:
    108

    Jul 27, 2009

    I wouldn't want parents to randomly show up in the morning like that and I think that the older students would be horribly embarrassed to have their mom or dad do that.

    Most of my parents will call me and leave a voicemail or email me. I can think of only maybe 2-3 times this year a parent had randomly walked in and chatted with me--- I don't mind it, I just like to be prepared ahead of time. Most of the times I talked to parents, it was planned a few days ahead of time and if there was ever an issue I was able to come up with some ideas and have them typed up for the parents to read over.
     
  25. kimrandy1

    kimrandy1 Enthusiast

    Joined:
    May 8, 2005
    Messages:
    2,181
    Likes Received:
    1

    Jul 27, 2009

    But if you have 25 kids in a class, how are you going to have time to speak to each of those 25 parents, and what are the kids in your class going to do while you're chatting with the parents?
    Kim
     
  26. Rabbitt

    Rabbitt Connoisseur

    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2007
    Messages:
    1,925
    Likes Received:
    125

    Jul 27, 2009

    Nope not me.
    Not in front of kids...especially their own.
    I need my prep and I have duties.
    They may make an appt or call or write.

    IMO...what other profession allows people to walk in, in front of others, to answer questions and solve problems immediately? If it's that big of concern, I do not have the time then nor the resources. If it's small, a general note will do.
     
  27. yarnwoman

    yarnwoman Cohort

    Joined:
    Dec 7, 2006
    Messages:
    693
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jul 27, 2009

    Maybe not drop off, but I love it when my students parents want to talk after school. I teach 8th grade and tell my parents to stop in after school if they want and we can talk. But I am also telling them to email me. I check my work email up until 10pm at night so if a student or parent has a question they can get an answer until that time.
     
  28. kacieann

    kacieann Companion

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2008
    Messages:
    247
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jul 27, 2009

    I have to agree that e-mail is still the best way to get in touch with me. I check my e-mail till I go to bed at night so I can always answer questions.
     
  29. teacherintexas

    teacherintexas Maven

    Joined:
    Jul 7, 2005
    Messages:
    5,293
    Likes Received:
    760

    Jul 27, 2009


    Exactly. If I have 21 kids in the room, then that parent is my 22nd priority at that moment. I would prefer to be able to give a conversation my full attention.
     
  30. Jem

    Jem Aficionado

    Joined:
    May 7, 2008
    Messages:
    3,544
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jul 27, 2009

    I didn't see it as telling parents to walk in DURING class. It said before school. Of course no parent should walk in during class.

    And many offices condone people walking into conversations. Many times dh has been on the phone with me while someone just starts talking to him (not knowing it's me and not a client) and then someone else will interupt THEM. People are rude everywhere.

    But again, I don't think that's what they were suggesting at all. I think they were saying that dropping in every once in a while to touch base with your child's teacher is a good idea.
     
  31. SpecSub

    SpecSub Comrade

    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2007
    Messages:
    322
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jul 27, 2009

    In our school, the bell rings and that is when students are allowed into the building and that is when the day starts. Nobody other than faculty/staff is even allowed inside until then. Any visitor/parent must obtain badge at the office, and there's no way the office would let them go to a classroom before that bell unless they had an appointment with the teacher. So at least in my school, there is no dropping your child off before school because school starts when the bell rings.
     
  32. KinderCowgirl

    KinderCowgirl Phenom

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2006
    Messages:
    4,858
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jul 27, 2009

    I do not think this is particularly good advice for parents and certainly different schools have different policies. I certainly would want a parent to discuss an issue or concern they had-but that's what planning periods are for. I am usually working in my classroom in the morning, preparing for my day-I consider that to be my time-I don't even have to be there then, I'm just there because I'm always early. Some of our parents like to "hang out" and don't necessarily want to discuss their child, but other kids, other teachers, campus gossip, their personal business (you won't believe what my husband did this morning,etc).

    Even if it's a question of "how's my child doing?"-I would want to be able to go into some detail, show some work-you wouldn't have time to that in the morning before kids came in. We had a parent night at 5:30 last year, my the afterschool club I facilitate let out at 4:30, I was working in my room to put out things for the parents and one of them came down to talk to me then, an hour before the meeting. I spoke with her, but really thought it was a little rude to just show up like that I was obviously busy.
     
  33. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2007
    Messages:
    17,362
    Likes Received:
    46

    Jul 27, 2009

    This isn't the best idea. I had a couple of parents that would walk their 2nd grade students to the classroom every day and would want to chat while other students were filing in. Well, I had to divide my attention between the students and these parents. One mom was worse than the other as she always had a concern/something to talk about with her daughter.
     
  34. txmomteacher2

    txmomteacher2 Enthusiast

    Joined:
    Jul 28, 2005
    Messages:
    2,092
    Likes Received:
    190

    Jul 27, 2009

    When I was the behavior teacher I had kids in my room at 7:15 so a morning with any kind of parent was not even remotely possible. If they wanted to talk to me they could stick around until 8:00 when I had my conference period. Mostly they would come at the end of the day. When I taught kinder though I was there long before the bell rang in the mornings, but it was for running off papers and other house keeping things that I needed to take care of, but if a parent really needed to talk I would sit and talk. I really had some great parents my first year. Only one time did I have the parent from heck in my room and well she wasn't even mad at me. My team mate though had a real problem with several of her parents. They would come in the room just to drop off their "babies" and then stay to talk. This happened for several weeks in a row. Finally she had to start locking the door to her room to keep the parents out.
     
  35. mdith4him

    mdith4him Companion

    Joined:
    Apr 23, 2008
    Messages:
    195
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jul 27, 2009

    Wow. I would not want parents chatting with me in the mornings. I taught K last year and I can tell you that out of 20 kids at least 15 of them had something to give me, show me, tell me, etc. as they came into the classroom. I also wouldn't want to be having a mini-conference while other students or parents could hear.
     
  36. glitterfish

    glitterfish Comrade

    Joined:
    Apr 29, 2008
    Messages:
    293
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jul 27, 2009

    I actually do really enjoy talking with parents about their students, but right before school is not a good time!

    1) That's distracting for the kids and they need to learn how to be independent. I think it would be really disruptive for them to have Mom or Dad hovering around.
    2) I like to interact with the STUDENTS and welcome them/talk with them and get started right away.
    3) If a parent is there, I have trouble ending the conversation and this would potentially run over into instruction time.
    4) Privacy issues--parents should not be talking with me about their child when other kids are around.

    To avoid this, I usually write in my newsletter and welcome letter my "office hours." I encourage parents to visit me after school and make myself very available to phone calls/e-mails, as well.
     
  37. teach2read10

    teach2read10 Companion

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2009
    Messages:
    209
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jul 28, 2009

    Parents

    Any adult that wants to enter our school has to check in with the office. The idea of 23 different parents each wanting even 2 minutes of my time in the morning would totally disrupt my schedule!
     
  38. flyingmickey

    flyingmickey Rookie

    Joined:
    Mar 26, 2009
    Messages:
    67
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jul 28, 2009

    I always have parents coming in, seldom do they want to talk about anything really important. If needed they will make an appointment for later. I don't mind as the kids always take a bit to visit and get settled. I have work on the board or on the carpet and they get started on that. After about ten minutes they break and we start our day.
     
  39. CiniMini

    CiniMini Rookie

    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2009
    Messages:
    68
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jul 28, 2009

    That sounds great in theory. It just isn't practical. There are safety and time issues to be concerned about.
     
  40. fuzed_fizzion

    fuzed_fizzion Comrade

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2008
    Messages:
    303
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jul 28, 2009

    I teach at a K-8 school. Our school is always open to parents. Any parent may come sit in on a class without any kind of notice (of course they have to sign in and receive a visitors pass). They are reminded that the teacher is unable to have any conversation with them at that time. We all make time to talk to parents in the morning. Anything that starts to sound like it would violate confidentiality we just say something like, "I appreciate your concerns. I value your's and your child's privacy, so can I _____ (email or call) later?" The other issue is that we have a great deal of older siblings responsible for getting the younger ones to school, and they often have messages from parents to deliver. We just have adjusted our morning routine to allow for that. I think there is a great deal of difference in how schools react to parents involvement. We are trying to increase involvement, so we work with parents in lots of different ways to get them more involved in school. So many of them have had very poor experiences themselves with school that we work hard to change that for them and their child.
     
  41. Kindergarten31

    Kindergarten31 Cohort

    Joined:
    Jul 31, 2007
    Messages:
    500
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jul 29, 2009

    We now have a closed campus-totally fenced-and any parent that wants to drop into the classroom has to come thru the office and our secretary will buzz on the intercom and tell me Mrs. So and So was here and do I have a few minutes to talk to her? That's great if no children are in the class and I always say no problem, but if I have children, I ask them to set up an appointment and that always seems to work. Two years ago, before the fencing, we had a group of Moms who were friends and would meet in the back of the classroom every morning to chat and socialize. AAArrgg-that made everyone crazy, but the Moms didn't notice. Finally we mentioned that it was disruptive, so they move to the hallway, and were still noisy. Now that we're fenced, they park their cars outside the fence and still have a gab fest every morning!:lol:
     

Share This Page

Members Online Now

Total: 197 (members: 1, guests: 182, robots: 14)
test