Hi all.. I am struggling with what I feel is a real issue in my relationship. My guy is in his mid 50’s. We’ve been together going on 5 yrs. I’m five years older than him. For the life of me, I can’t understand why a grown man wants to watch wrestlemania!! It drives me insane. He goes in the other room, but still it bothers me. Especially bothers me when I see the X-rated dressed women slaming each other around! He says it’s a soap opera. It’s harmless. Nobody gets hurt. Okay...What’s the point? I feel it’s immature and the women wrestlers are degrading and disturbing to watch. Comments anyone??
Honestly, I think it's quite harmless. And he does watch it in a different room, I assume so as not to annoy you?
I personally love it. It’s mindless entertainment that pretty harmless. There are much bigger vices so to speak.
I don’t have a SO, never have had one, and won’t ever have one. Romance grosses me out. Zero problems, lol!
Right now? I have been waiting for Rockhubby to get ready to head out to a party. It's been almost an hour of waiting. This isn't the first time he's done this, and it's even odds that he'll decide eventually that he doesn't want to go, but he'll tell me too late to go by myself.
Classic stuff there....."Oh, it's so late, I can't find anything to wear, I don't feel good now. Why not just go without me?" Just tell me you don't want to go!!!
Ok Swansong1 and rpan, Is it really harmless if you know your sweetie does not like violence, and you know they feel it's degrading to women? To me, violence is violence any day of the week - real or acting. He can watch hours of blood and guts movies, (yeah - I don't care for those either), but the women punching each other while wearing bikinis - what's up with that?
My SO plays computer games even though I hate it. But as long as it doesn’t impact on our time together I pretend it doesn’t happen. I tell myself that at least he’s not gambling the house away or something. I keep my sanity that way.
I'll play devil's advocate here. Those women feel that they are participating in a sport, so they don't feel they are being degraded. What's the difference watching women fight in bikinis or watching men fight in speedos? I don't care for violence, either, but I'm not going to dictate to my husband what he is "allowed" to watch. If he enjoys the silliness of watching women fight in bikinis, and I don't have to watch, I don't care.
UPDATE: We wound up getting to the party almost three hours late. A lot of our friends were already gone but we still had a good time. Got home and watched the US Men's Curling Team surprise everyone and make it into the qualifying round against Canada. Today's grumble will be getting him to leave the house to do ANYTHING today.
In a day and age where endless commercials feature women in skimpy underwear, not to mention many programs that do the same, women wrestling in the same doesn't seem much different than watching many of the Olympic events that are strenuous with often even skimpier "uniforms." I can't get annoyed about that - neither my husband or I would be asked to participate in such "costumes" so more power to those who can pull it off. Wouldn't bother me at all, except for the fake nature of the event - that I would be more concerned with from a mental state, but even that wouldn't bother me. We all need down time. Getting to a party three hours late - yeah, maybe a little miffed, unless, like cat, I had already chalked it off, which made it a pleasant surprise!
Nope. Not even for that. First of all, he didn't work. Second of all, Kentucky teachers can't get SS with our pensions. Because we had been married for more than 10 years, he could have gotten part of MY pension, but we took care of that nonsense up front.
You have to tell him the party starts 3 hours early. By the time you get out the house, you'll be right on time.
I think my real concern is ....I'll be Dr. Phil, you only do something because it works for you. You like violence, you think it's okay. I don't see it as harmless. Wrestling and boxing as sport - that's different. It has a beginning and an end. You stop when somebody is knocked out or lands x amount of punches. You pay for the big fight and it's over. This is totally different from football, basketball and any other sport on the planet. Because in my mind, it's not a sport. They are pretending to harm each other, with full fledged sound effects. And, what really irritates me is he videotapes this madness and watches it every single night. Really?? I had zillons of preschoolers grabbing their pants and throwing chairs at kids before I realized they were mimicking these shows. His concession is to use headphones so I don't have to listen to the piercing shrieks and agonizing screams. I suppose...he's trying But then he starts acting like these idiots... "Come here and give me a hug dammit!" Not funny. Not attractive, that is not loving at all...
We don't have tv to watch but my hubby watches these Youtube videos where people fix things. Also, there's one where this guy buys random junk on Amazon then reviews the stuff. The things are so ridiculous!! I have to go into the other room when he watches that stuff.
Leaves the creamer out... all day. For that matter, has no concept of food spoilage. Thinks my getting sick is a reflection of my moral character. Eats a combination of yogurt, kimchi, and natto... Tells me we're doing something on the day we're doing it. Nicknames me with numbers ... either my weight or my salary...
3Sons our guys may be related!!! Cutting a tomato and leaving it there in the fridge to spoil! No tupperware, no saran wrap, not even putting in a bowl?! Never returns to the same tomato - gets a new one? Five half open bottles of water in the fridge. Swears up and down, "That's not mine, one of them are yours!" Bacon, eggs, and potatoes and Eggos for breakfast. Three minutes later, A full bag of potato chips for snack?..9:30am. I used to make dinner early, so he can heat it up when I get home. He eats it for breakfast! Oh no! I'm not cooking anymore! Lunch for dinner, dinner for breakfast, breakfast food all day. My lunch snacks are fare game. This little section on the shelf - what does that mean?? Oh, I can have two of them!! When I complain, he says..."I'll buy you more!" I say, "It's not the same thing." For one, I needed it NOW, that's for my lunch." And...buy your own stuff, eat your own junk. I don't want your health food, so let me eat my teeny packs of cookies! He inhales them. Tells me he's not doing something with me on the day we're supposed to do it. Nicknames me with terms from some 70's movie.
My SO and I have very different ways of looking at almost everything EXCEPT the things that matter most - mutual respect, empathy, being faithful, telling the truth, even when it is hard, being a staunch supporter of each other, and love that has grown over the years. In most other ways we tend to be diametrically opposed, but it takes these two halves to make a single whole. I may never check the oil in my car, and he will almost certainly never put a dirty dish in the dishwasher, but as a couple, everything gets done. If food is wasted, I get more. We both have incomes that go to one checking account, so there is not a separate his and mine. We absolutely do not watch the same TV or listen to the same music, and our ideas of what needs to be done right now is never in sync, yet we find common ground in the midst of a sea of differences, and I believe that we both know how to support each other in many subtle and caring ways. Neither of us vent often to the other, choosing to share our conversations about less frivolous topics. I don't think that soulmates have to be totally in sync with each other on the myriad of small details that make up our lives, but they need to be in sync for those things that matter. He loves cowboys, I love sci-fi, I'm a night-owl, he's an early riser, he will work non-stop all day, I may chill in he middle of he day, he works through sickness, I crash and rest, I love people, he could live without them - and the list could go on. I believe that, for us, accepting the other's differences without actually changing our own preferences falls into that matter of respect. My work relationships tend to follow the same kind of "rules". As long as petty is left out of decisions, we can all get along without hurt feelings or being judgmental. I tend to avoid those few individuals who have to have everything "their way." It is more confrontation than I need in my life.
That's deep vickilyn.... I have reached that peak at work this year....still trying for homelife.. Need to see where we can merge the food as a couple. I can't see it now because it's hard for me to see how a man eats EVERYTHING in sight. He buys a few things here and there, but difficult for me to explain that there is no magic back door in the cabinet. No Keebler Elves putting more cookies in there after he eats them.
So you simply need to find some Elves that have been laid off or retired and offer them great benefits to come work at your house - short days, good pay, lots of appreciation. Sounds like a plan to me! At our house, I bring home pies and cookies, since I have to be truly desperate to eat those, however, if I bring home cake, my weakness, hubby eats it the same as the cookies. My solution is to freeze some of the pieces since the freezer is far from the first place that the cookie monster would think to look. If they are eaten, however, I just buy more. Fortunately our grocery stores open before I have to be at work, or else I will substitute DD donuts with no complaints! Add a soda (which hubby would never touch) and my sugar rush is intact.
My husband also watches Wrestlemania. I don't care if he does. One thing that drives me nuts is how he says "literally." He emphasizes the /t/ sound. And he uses the word quite freely in conversation. Another thing is when I offer him a bite of my food from my fork/spoon, he sticks his tongue out of his mouth while taking the bite. It's really gross to me and so I rarely offer from my own utensils.
I resorted to hiding pizza in the freezer. And my favorite snacks are in my school bags. That is the only way I can ensure I have lunch stuff. Nothing in the house is sacred. Now I have big gaps in my face cream!
Listening to videos on his phone that are so LOUD, going completely silent when he's mad about something and can't even ask what is wrong because he won't answer! ugh
I think he’s using it. His complexion is much better! Buying more food doesn’t help. He still eats whatever I get for me.
I would a small box or cabinet that can be locked!! It's kind of hard for me to comprehend that a grown man will eat things he is specifically asked not to.
Hence the title of this thread... When I get fed up, I stop shopping and cooking. Then, of course, he buys stuff. And cooks? WTH? We are a couple, I am not his mother. What on earth makes him think otherwise?
