Things You Never Thought You'd Say

Discussion in 'Debate & Marathon Threads Archive' started by MrsC, Sep 22, 2011.

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  1. MsMar

    MsMar Fanatic

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    Sep 23, 2011

    "Take the book cover off your head" And I've even had to say this twice to the same student!

    And man, now I just know I'm going to accidentally tell the boys on the way to recess to "hold your balls in the hallway"
     
  2. math1abee

    math1abee Companion

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    When we are going over combining like terms or solving linear equations and there is a variable p it is always funny. I can always hear the boys giggling.
     
  3. MsMar

    MsMar Fanatic

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    Ah yes, and perpendicular gets a giggle too!
     
  4. TeachingHistory

    TeachingHistory Companion

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    I've told high school students to get book covers off their head, 8th graders to quit sniffing their feet and put their shoes back on.

    I was reading a poem with 7th graders and it was about a farmer hoeing his field....

    I was giving a school tour today and explained about the hoop and stick game with 8th graders. I'm pretty sure every time I said the word stick someone giggled.
     
  5. Tasha

    Tasha Phenom

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    Please don't show me your underwear
    Please wear underwear - yes, everyday, yes, even if you aren't wearing a dress (they are 5)
    No, I cannot unblock Facebook at school so you can Farmville (again, 5)
     
  6. math1abee

    math1abee Companion

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    LOL...that one made me giggle....I'm so immature! :D
     
  7. terptoteacher

    terptoteacher Connoisseur

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    Never thought I would say, "No, we don't stand on the top of the toilet tank and pee into the bowl, you stand on the floor."
     
  8. TeacherGroupie

    TeacherGroupie Moderator

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    math1abee, I treasure the memory of the t-shirt that dd2 pointed out to me. One sees a female dog next to a garden implement, and they're glaring at each other; the garden implement is snarling, "B----!" and the female dog is snarling, "Hoe!"
     
  9. mmswm

    mmswm Moderator

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    Yeah, I'm another one of those who belongs in middle school because of my very sophomoric sense of humor.
     
  10. TeacherGroupie

    TeacherGroupie Moderator

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    I think dd2 was in middle school when she pointed out that shirt.
     
  11. txmomteacher2

    txmomteacher2 Enthusiast

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    I teach first grade. Every year we do something called a Word Dictionary. Everyday we do a different letter. We come up with words that start with that letter and we write them down. I hate the letter "F". I find myself asking the kids to give me an "f" word. I then quickly change the wording to "give me a word that begins with the letter F" When we do word families the -uck word family scares me to death. So far no kid has ever said it, but there is always a first time.:lol:
     
  12. stampin'teacher

    stampin'teacher Cohort

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    Sep 23, 2011

    This reminds me of a video of a comedian (if I remember correctly) that described how the F word was the most diversely used word. It could be an adj., adv. etc. I can't remember where I heard it, but it was hysterical! Definitely not for the kiddos, but pretty funny for adult humor.
     
  13. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    :spitwater:
     
  14. maya5250

    maya5250 Comrade

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    Sep 24, 2011

    I have said the second one a lot.



    Also- Keep all body parts and objects to yourself. This phrase is weird to me because the first time I had to say it - my mind jumped to a visual of zombie kids ripping their arm off to hit somebody else with it. I think it didn't help that I watched a zombie movie the night before :lol:
     
  15. stephenpe

    stephenpe Connoisseur

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    Sep 24, 2011

    Probably George Carlin.
     
  16. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Ah, yes...the seven words you can't say on television....:whistle: obviously from BC ( before cable!):lol:
     
  17. math1abee

    math1abee Companion

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    Hahahaha! I would love to see that! :lol:
     
  18. bandnerdtx

    bandnerdtx Aficionado

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    Sep 24, 2011

    I didn't say this, but my teacher buddy did last week: "No, they do not call America a "melting pot" because of global warming."
     
  19. historynut

    historynut Rookie

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    Been there, done that.
     
  20. TeacherGroupie

    TeacherGroupie Moderator

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    Wish I could show you the shirt, math1abee - but, though Google still has the Web link, the site is shut down. What a pity.
     
  21. each1teach1

    each1teach1 Cohort

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    Nah. I saw that bit. It was Bernie Mac with the Original Kings of Comedy Tour. Although the George Carlin "7 words you can't use" bit is amazing.
     
  22. kpa1b2

    kpa1b2 Aficionado

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    I asked a child to give me a word that rhymes with truck. He looked up at the alphabet line to come up with a word. The first word he came up with was f. . . I don't think he had a clue as to what he said.
     
  23. maya5250

    maya5250 Comrade

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    Sep 24, 2011

  24. TeacherGroupie

    TeacherGroupie Moderator

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    Pretty much, maya5250 - though this has a little less glower than I recall. Sigh.
     
  25. HWilson

    HWilson Comrade

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    Sep 24, 2011

    You need to bring your own balls

    As an incentive, our school offers extra recess on Fridays to students that have not been a behavior issue. The first week of school, some of the kids were trying to get a feel for how we (in 7th grade) handle things and the conversation went like this...
    Male Student: Do you have balls we can play with?
    Me: No, you need to bring your own balls tomorrow
    Class: busted out laughing!!!!

    IT was all I could do not to laugh too. I had to bite my lip!! :lol:
     
    Last edited: Sep 24, 2011
  26. shouldbeasleep

    shouldbeasleep Enthusiast

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    Sep 25, 2011

    Things I've said that wouldn't be said in any other career.

    Please don't put stickers on your face.

    This is not your bedroom. Please pick up your ......

    Someone in this room doesn't know their name.

    No, I will not feel your forehead. I'm not a doctor.

    Are you dead? dying? bleeding? (I suppose a medic might say that.)

    Pull your pants up. I have no desire to see your underwear.

    I am not Wal-mart.
     
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