Things You Never Thought You'd Say

Discussion in 'Debate & Marathon Threads Archive' started by MrsC, Sep 22, 2011.

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  1. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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  3. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Sep 22, 2011

    I've said 'hold your balls until you get to recess'.:blush:
     
  4. KinderCowgirl

    KinderCowgirl Phenom

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    I always joke that would be the name of my memoir-"Things I Never Thought I'd Really Have To Say". With the young ones it more-don't eat the woodchips, don't put popcorn up your nose (that happened once with an administrator's child-she was very proud;)) and my all-time favorite "we don't pee on our friends".:whistle:
     
  5. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    If I said that to my grade 7 and 8s, they would be laughing so hard they wouldn't be able to make it out for recess!:lol:
     
  6. kcjo13

    kcjo13 Phenom

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    My kids crack up when I say "I have duty today".

    She said duty...
     
  7. stephenpe

    stephenpe Connoisseur

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    Just between you guys and the server I always wanted to say
    "girls over here and boys over there if you aint sure check your underwear" Of course I never would. But I have said if you aren't sure go ask your mom. Now I realize in this day and age of gender
    confusion (and I know it is a real thing for some) that is probably
    insensitive but I have taught for a long time and I think you get a little twisted after awhile. I doubt it bothers 7-8 years olds much but knowing what I know now would never use that with middle or HS kids. There now, I have confessed a dark secret.
     
  8. ku_alum

    ku_alum Aficionado

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    Sep 22, 2011

    I didn't say, but once heard:

    Take a towel in case your balls get sweaty.
     
  9. Auter12

    Auter12 Comrade

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    My MS art teacher told us to NEVER draw rolling hills with a sun coming up between them!! ...got your visual?... Okay! I didn't get it then, but I do now! And to come full circle on that one: I was subbing in a 5th grade room last year and they were doing reading buddies with the Kinders. The teacher had a pic one of her 5th graders had given her taped to the wall of ... You guessed it! A kindergarten boy looked at it, chuckled out loud, and said, "Ha! It looks like a butt!" :spitwater: I had to turn my head to laugh.
     
  10. Ima Teacher

    Ima Teacher Maven

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    I never expected to say "get your finger out of your nose" to a 7th grader.
     
  11. MissAbbeyMarie

    MissAbbeyMarie Rookie

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    Y'all are hilarious! I have a good list:
    1. Please come back from the bathroom fully dressed.
    2. Get the sporks off the desk.
    3. Please take the spoon off of your hat and the hat off of your head.
    3. Please take the cape off.
    4. Please keep your pants on.
    5. Please don't throw lozenges.
     
  12. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    "Yes, everything after that came from Uranus."
     
  13. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    Oh, and today I said "You don't have sex partners" to a student.

    We are practicing numbers, and the number six in my language is "sex". He asked how many partners should be in a group. ("Do we have qinque [5] partners? Sex [6] partners?") I said, "You have duo [2] partners. You don't have sex partners." :eek:
     
  14. Auter12

    Auter12 Comrade

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    I like that one! The pronunciation Was clarified for me by a star lab presenter one time yoor uh nus. My students WILL NOT accept the pronunciation! Lol
     
  15. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    In Latin we say ooh-rah-noos, so that's the pronunciation they use when we're reading Latin. When we're just talking in English about the gods, they use the traditional (and humorous) pronunciation.
     
  16. Auter12

    Auter12 Comrade

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    I don't think that it matters how it should/shouldn't be pronounced; just seeing the word brings giggles to students. :)
     
  17. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    Sorry. I was just saying how we say it in our classroom.
     
  18. Auter12

    Auter12 Comrade

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    Sep 22, 2011

    Talking to HS students about my friend hunting mountain lions:

    "yeah, he goes cougar hunting all the time."
    "what?! That's gross! Isn't he like 50 anyways? They've gotta be like 80!!"
    "no, not that kind of cougar hunting. Actual cougar hunting; like with a gun. He's not out prowling the town."
    We had a good laugh on that one
     
  19. stampin'teacher

    stampin'teacher Cohort

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    Just today I taught my kids about concentric v. nonconcentric circles.

    *Refresher-nonconcentric circles are two circles that don't share the same centerpoint.

    As a visual, you have to draw the two centerpoints with the circles slightly overlapping so they can see the difference....I felt like I was doing an anatomy lesson instead of a math lesson. The boys were the only ones who saw it....
     
  20. Auter12

    Auter12 Comrade

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    Oh, that's fine. I wasn't taking offense. I've heard it pronounced that way, too. I was just saying that the pronunciation makes no difference to giggle tweens/teens?
     
  21. TeacherGroupie

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    The trouble, Auter12, is that both standard pronunciations will set off giggles in middle-schoolers: it's either "your anus" or "urine-us".

    The Latin pronunciation would solve the problem, but one can't get the rest of the population to sign on for it, alas.
     
  22. Auter12

    Auter12 Comrade

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    :thumb:They need not have a "like" button on here!
     
  23. SpecialPreskoo

    SpecialPreskoo Moderator

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    One of my class rules in my preschool...

    "Keep your hands and feet and teeth to yourself."

    I had just hands and feet but after a biting episode, I had to insert teeth.
     
  24. SpecialPreskoo

    SpecialPreskoo Moderator

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    Oh and I have told them "if you pick your nose, you can't work on the smartboard."
     
  25. kcjo13

    kcjo13 Phenom

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    Just today in eighth grade math, during a discussion of and activity with integers, I said "this side of the room turned out negative, these people all came out positive."

    A student replied "how many months?"

    Smart aleck!
     
  26. midwestteacher

    midwestteacher Cohort

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    "If you really need to fart, go in the shop."

    If you need to throw up, don't say - I don't feel good. Say - I'm going to throw up!"
     
  27. Jinkies

    Jinkies Rookie

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    When I was in high school my poor Latin teacher accidentally asked the class who wanted sex. She meant who wanted to go over the answer to number 6 (sex in Latin), but the class didn't let her get away with that one.
     
  28. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Why have you always wanted to say this? To be funny?
     
  29. each1teach1

    each1teach1 Cohort

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    "Everybody has to have a first time" Said in response to student who was saying the Dallas Mavericks still sucked because they'd only won one championship.
     
  30. stephenpe

    stephenpe Connoisseur

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    I knew someone would take offense. I must say 'boys over here girls over there a hundred times a year" I make up lots of rhymes when I talk to my little guys. When I say always I probably thought of it in the last 2 years.
    Of course I would never say it to my kids but you have to admit it is funny. When you spend so much time with little guys without the opportunity to talk with adults (I did when my old crew was still there) you sorta talk to yourself (in your mind) sometimes. Does that help?
     
  31. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    :wow: wasnt taking offense. Just asking a question.

    When you say little guys, are you talking elementary?
     
  32. TeacherGroupie

    TeacherGroupie Moderator

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    czacza, I think you're making more of stephenpe's post than needs to be made.
     
  33. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    I think you and he are making more of my questions than need be.:sorry:
     
  34. MzMooreTeaches

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    1. Hold yourself and aim towards the toilet... (talking to boys as I demonstrated... yeah a bit embarrasing but it worked.)
    2.Telling the girls to wipe front to back...
    3. Please don't eat your boogers! Ugh its a bunch of dirt and salt... how you know it taste salty.... then... admitting that one day I was there age, LMAO!
     
  35. silverspoon65

    silverspoon65 Enthusiast

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    #10 about the velcro shoes - I remember my kindergarten teacher tearing a kid's shoe off and throwing it against the wall because he kept messing with the velcro.

    I said "onomatopoeia-ness" one time. Which the end of sounds like penis, of course. We took awhile to settle after that one.
     
  36. karebear76

    karebear76 Habitué

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    "No one said 'Let's meet at the tissues and boogie down'"

    Yep. I said it...today in fact. My kiddos loved it. The kids are having quite the little party at the tissues & sanitizer; it just felt right.
     
  37. stephenpe

    stephenpe Connoisseur

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    I tried to make it clear I have to joke with myself because 1, I teach pe alone to elementary guys 2. there is no underlying
    ulterior motive except making a joke from a rhyme in my head.
    and 3. I know what you can say and not say to children.
    I thought that was sort of what the thread was about and how the line blurs sometimes..........or as we go along we can slip up and say something crazy
     
  38. Auter12

    Auter12 Comrade

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    Stephen, I have had many cases in which a comment of sorts has come to my head (like you said: to amuse me). Many of then I would not say out loud. Sometimes I will even "tell a joke" for myself and laugh out loud (obviously one that is appropriate for school) that my students would never get. When my kids say, "that wasn't even funny." I just tell them it wasn't for them to laugh; it was for me.
    I know where you're coming from. :)
     
  39. AKPuffin

    AKPuffin Rookie

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    I teach at a combined Jr./Sr. High School and I just asked a high school student to stop touching the ceiling.
     
  40. amakaye

    amakaye Enthusiast

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    From a few years ago, when my class of mostly boys was obsessed with geography and planning to take over the world:
    "No, I don't know how much money it would cost for you to buy a state."

    "I don't think Texas can buy Germany."

    "There are 300 million people in the U.S., so no, I don't think your plan to pay everyone $1 to vote for you for president will work very well. Plus, it might be kind of illegal."
     
  41. kpa1b2

    kpa1b2 Aficionado

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    "If you have time to tell me that you are going to throw up, you are not going to throw up." or "If you throw up, make sure you get to the garbage can."
     
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