Things are Better with the Kids This Week!

Discussion in 'High School' started by Ms. I, Sep 25, 2013.

  1. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Sep 25, 2013

    I just wanted to say that things have been better w/ the kids this wk. Maybe they're getting better settled now that the first 2 mos are over. One boy just refuses to be worked w/ so the P will handle him in her way.

    When I was working with this one 19 yo today, who by the way, was never horrendous anyway, there was a time when I really talked with him about life, his future, college, jobs, etc. We must have talked for a good 30 min. He's a smart guy who can be a dr if he wants & I told him that. There was a point when my eyes were getting misty because he has such promise AS LONG AS HE STAYS ON THE RIGHT PATH.

    I'm getting to know all these kids more & more & I actually kind of like it!

    Now, the school itself & how the P runs things is a whole other story!!!
     
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  3. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    Sep 25, 2013

    Good to hear. I hope it keeps up!
     
  4. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Sep 25, 2013

    Great news Ms I.
     
  5. Tasha

    Tasha Phenom

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    Sep 25, 2013

    Glad to hear that.
     
  6. ku_alum

    ku_alum Aficionado

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    Sep 26, 2013

    Good.
    I know I was harsh in my posts.
    What you describe in this thread is what I knew could happen if you gave the students a chance. It won't be all bubbles and unicorns from this point forward, but a positive connection with a student will go a long way.
     
  7. Pisces_Fish

    Pisces_Fish Fanatic

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    Sep 27, 2013

    Such good news!

    Keep this in mind. Let's suppose you were having huge problems at home, say your mom got really sick or your car was totaled and insurance is taking forever to come through. Would you rather work for a stickler of a P who refuses to "cut you some slack" during this difficult time, or a P that takes the time to hear your story and seeks out ways to help you? It's the same things with these kids. Yes, they're teenagers, but they have problems and need your support. They just want to know someone cares. Once they figure that out, I guarantee the behavior will improve. Try it, see what comes of it :hugs:
     
  8. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Sep 27, 2013

    I'm kind of happy with the students I have now because as of yesterday, I got word that the boy who refused to work with me & who talked crassly is outta there! He told me he would be moving soon & I waws just hoping he wasn't lying. He was replaced with another boy, who seems like he'll be OK...I hope!

    I put the another boy, who was talking very sexually, in his place the last time I worked with him too, so I think he's ging to be OK from now on. I just had to let him know who's boss.
     
  9. MissCeliaB

    MissCeliaB Aficionado

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    Sep 27, 2013

    I'm glad things are looking up!
     
  10. creativemonster

    creativemonster Comrade

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    Sep 27, 2013

    So glad things are sounding better! Now let's hope the principal steps up his game!
     
  11. DHE

    DHE Connoisseur

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    Sep 27, 2013

    Glad that things are better.
     
  12. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Sep 27, 2013

    Waiting on some last bit of money from completed work in August. The next payday is in a few days. :(
     
  13. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Oct 2, 2013

    The kids here won't hesitate to cuss up a storm, no matter who's around! I'm glad they haven't done it towards me...yet! The other day, one of the kids called the teacher a "fat, piece of sh--" and another teacher "fat ass" and "F you!"
     
  14. ku_alum

    ku_alum Aficionado

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    Oct 2, 2013

    I suspect swear words mean less to the students than they mean to you. Their verbal repertoire is different than yours. What you may find offensive is just everyday lingo to them.

    Yes, they should learn to mold what they say to the different environments they encounter, but based on how you've described these kids, that fix is probably low on the list of priorities.
     
  15. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Yes, I know it's just their usual "lingo". Nevertheless, it's still despicable. I think one of the ones who was cussing told me one time that I talk so proper. I asked him, "Why, how should I talk?" but he didn't hear or just didn't reply.
     
  16. ku_alum

    ku_alum Aficionado

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    Oct 3, 2013

    It is despicable to YOU; it is not despicable to THEM.

    Being a model of proper talking is an easy (and useful) "teachable moment" for your students. They are lucky to have access to another person in their world who always speaks properly.

    Granted, my student population is way different than yours. However, my students still say things I find to be inappropriate for a classroom. I use, "can you choose a better word?" without making a huge deal out of the swear. I sometimes add, "remember your environment." If the situation warrants it, I tell them to think of how their language changes across speaking to a buddy, their grandmother, their boss, ... Instead of making the entire situation about how I'm offended by their word choice, I try to make it a learning opportunity for them.

    (And, after my students learn about ethos, pathos, and logos in my class, I can usually just say, "you just lost your ethos" after students say something offensive, and it is a powerful reminder to them that what they say represents a large portion of the image they are sharing with the world ... I know this may not work outside of an English classroom ... but it still might spark an idea for you).

    Ohh, here ... you know ABA, right? Think of your training in discriminative stimuli, setting events, etc. Think of how inappropriate behavior is often reinforced via attention than appropriate behavior.

    Maybe one way you can help your students beyond your language training with them is to help them learn to mold word choice to environment.
     
  17. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Oct 3, 2013

    No, I was never ABA trained.
     
  18. ku_alum

    ku_alum Aficionado

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    Oct 3, 2013

    Sorry, I thought you had training in behavior analysis.
     
  19. DHE

    DHE Connoisseur

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    Oct 3, 2013

    ku~I love your ideas that can help students. I always remind others that most of our students 'reflect when they see and/or hear at home. We have to be a model for our students and it is our job to direct our students in the correct way. Whenever I hear students using improper grammar or saying things that aren't appropriate for school, I correct them.
     
  20. GeetGeet

    GeetGeet Companion

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    Oct 9, 2013

    On a similar note, when my students use inappropriate language, I usually just give them a look of a bit of overdramatic shock and say "language!" or I just say "theres a time and a place for that kind of talk and this ain't it."
     
  21. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Oct 9, 2013

    GeetGeet, glad that works for you. It wouldn't phase the types of students I work with these days.
     
  22. Barbd

    Barbd Rookie

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    Oct 12, 2013

    Ms. I, I work in a charter school that has quite a mixed bag population. We have students that are in high school with lower level elementary school academic skills. We have students on Attendance only certification. We have students who have a multitude of learning disabilities.

    And we have about half our population with behavioral problems. Holes in our walls are the norm; chairs thrown and sinks pulled off walls aren't daily, but they aren't unexpected either. My students aren't "quite" at the level of yours, but they seem pretty darn close.

    I wanted to get a full read on what's been going on with your and your students, so I read your posts.

    I've been at my school since March. I stepped in and took the place of a beloved teacher. I'm the third math teacher in 2 years.


    The first thing that helped me deal with these students and my situation, and the thing the kids have picked up on is this:

    These kids have been given up on in their life WAY too much. Teachers have given up on them again and again. Principals and counselors have given up on them. Often times, their parents have given up on them too. They don't see a reason for people to NOT give up on them.

    I refuse to be another person that gives up on them. I refuse to let them give up on themselves if I can find a thread of a chance for them to hang onto.

    Sheer determination and that perspective is sometimes the only thing that gets me to work in the morning and keeps me going through the day.

    And in reference to the language, when I started I continually told the kids to please not use that language in front of a lady. I explained that it was my belief that language such as that is not to be used in front of a lady and I expected them to adhere to such.

    I overhear my students cursing at teachers and at other students every single day. Even the ones that curse every other word it seems will apologize if they curse in front of me. Now, all I do is make eye contact and give them "the look". It's now to the point that the older, more seasoned students will tell newer students before I have a chance that they are not to cuss in front of me.

    You cannot change what these students have faced in the past. You cannot change 99% of what you are dealing with.
    You CAN change the way you look your students and your situation.
     
  23. Linguist92021

    Linguist92021 Phenom

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    Oct 12, 2013

    I was in a very similar situation. I started in April, after their beloved teacher got into a car accident (I believe the year before in January), kept coming back but more complications surfaced so she had to stop completely. Since then they had long term subs and many many daily subs since then.


    What you just said here and the fact that so many teacher left them (subs had to leave, most couldn't handle them, their beloved teacher got hurt, it wasn't her choice) they looked at me that I was just another come-and-go teacher.
    So they were very difficult. They wanted me to quit. My P told me that's what they'd do and some students told me themselves.
    It makes sense. In their eyes I was going to leave them, so why get to know me, why like me, why even give me a chance, let's just speed up this process and have me quit right away.

    I told them I moved here from 6 hours away and I wasn't moving again. I'm not a quitter. But I also told them that I knew they didn't believe me, so they just had to wait it out. during the summer I subbed for summer school for 2 days and 2 weeks at juv. hall. I saw a lot of my students, and their reaction was pleasantly surprising. They were very happy to see me.

    This year it's a lot easier. They're not testing me, or trying to make me quit, they're just being difficult because of the things they're dealing with.

    So try to to see it from their eyes: if you leave, they win, and you're just another one who gave up on them. If you survive, and stay, your job should be 10 times easier in a few months (I don't know how long it will take), and you will start seeing a lot of changes in your students and in yourself.
     
  24. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Oct 22, 2013

    Barbd, yes those are good comments & I agree with your thinking. I'm just not the type of person to do this. I had never heard of this school, nor told how the kids really are when I was placed here. A dirty trick was really played on me this time.

    Recently, 1 teacher quit before Sept & the 2nd one last week. That leaves 3 teachers. Of those, one of them was inappropriately touched & got a book thrown at her. Another teacher got his desk upturned by one of the students. Another teacher told me she does not want to return when we return from the 2-week Christmas vacation. I am trying my best to do the same myself!
     

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