There will be no Private Kindergarten! Very upset

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by TeacherCuriousExplore, Jul 5, 2018.

  1. TeacherCuriousExplore

    TeacherCuriousExplore Cohort

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    Jul 5, 2018

    Hello everyone. I am very upset but also a little happy about the decision to drop the private kindergarten! I am upset because I turned down a good offer at a migrant school just for my parents' pipe dream of owning a kindergarten. I felt like that idea was intentionally done to sway me for being a preschool teacher at the migrant school. I could have been getting paid better and ON TIME! The family came to this decision after the main facility which holds infants to Prek is behind on state paperwork. We have the building for the kindergarten but we need other legal paperwork as well as classroom things and a curriculum that will not be in on time before school begin! Everything was planned abruptly and late!

    I am happy because I am not coming back. I am officially done. I now can spend my time focusing on bringing up my GPA in grad school and the teacher examination test. My online income will be the checks I get from the various online schools that are based in China. I just rented a new apartment and I am behind on bills. The last two checks I get from my parents will go on bills and food. It seems as if I have to wait until next month to buy furnisher for my place. I am so angry. At least I know that the online schools will pay on time and the money is good for living
     
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  3. Missy

    Missy Aficionado

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    Jul 5, 2018

    I wish I could say I am surprised, but, sadly, I cannot.

    Good luck in moving on.
     
  4. TeacherCuriousExplore

    TeacherCuriousExplore Cohort

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    Thanks a lot
     
  5. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Jul 5, 2018

    Not shocked that this didn’t pan out. Sorry you were so easily manipulated and as you said in another recent thread, you’ve learned a lot. Hopefully what you learned will guide your future decision making.

    Being behind on bills is stressful and it’s lucky a credit check when renting the new apartment didn’t cause you any problems as a result. Good luck.
     
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  6. swansong1

    swansong1 Virtuoso

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    Jul 5, 2018

    Good luck and I hope your life is filled with positive experiences going forward.
     
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  7. TeacherCuriousExplore

    TeacherCuriousExplore Cohort

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    Exactly
     
  8. futuremathsprof

    futuremathsprof Phenom

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    Jul 5, 2018

    Try to look at this positively. Now you will be able to tell your family members no and start looking after yourself. You owe it to yourself!

    Start living YOUR life and don’t worry about what your parents think. You are not responsible for THEIR messes. You come first from here on out. Repeat that mantra as often as necessary.

    I wish you many successes going forward. Good luck to you! :)
     
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  9. GemStone

    GemStone Habitué

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    Jul 5, 2018

    Remember to withhold and pay quarterly taxes with those online teaching paychecks.
     
  10. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Jul 5, 2018

    I'm sure you feel beyond relieved that you're done there. Onto bigger and better things! Enjoy your new life with a new job and your new apt!
     
  11. TeacherCuriousExplore

    TeacherCuriousExplore Cohort

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    Jul 6, 2018

    I feel terrible. My mom placed me on speaker phone and literally told everyone I was lazy because I choose to work from home from now on. She's saying that I reneged on the situation but that is not true. I am choosing this route because I feel like it is a better alternative. I hope to find a teaching job so that I can build my resume. I could have found one but waited too late. My mom always makes fun of my mental health and mentally I am not ready to be in the classroom this year. I spent this summer moving and driving 40 mins to their school to help while enduring being paid late and shabby. I am scared to step out on my own but I know that it is something that I must do.
     
  12. TeacherCuriousExplore

    TeacherCuriousExplore Cohort

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    She makes me feel so sad and upset. I thought a mother was to be understanding and any parent would want to see their kids succeed without them. I have spent half of my adult life working for them. I quit jobs and worked for them. I am tired. My older sister is nearly 30 and only worked on another person job 2 times in her life and have the nerve to call me lazy. She doesn't even know how a real job feels
     
  13. ChildWhisperer

    ChildWhisperer Groupie

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    Jul 6, 2018

    I hope you take our advice next time
    Good luck
     
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  14. futuremathsprof

    futuremathsprof Phenom

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    Jul 6, 2018

    Oh for goodness sakes, don’t feel terrible. You did everything to help your “mother” and she keeps using you and you KEEP letting her. Stop the cycle and move on. That’s a part of life and we must learn to move on from adversity, otherwise it will only continue to negatively affect our quality of life.

    I wish you the best, but please, please, please learn to help yourself and ignore your mother when she throws a hissy fit like she is prone to. You are not a bad person like your mother is making you out to be. Yes, it hurts, but it seems like your mother uses her nastiness as a weapon against you when she doesn’t get her way.

    Distance yourself from her for a while until things cool down. They say time heals all wounds.

    Good luck.
     
    Last edited: Jul 6, 2018
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  15. vickilyn

    vickilyn Multitudinous

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    Jul 6, 2018

    What a shame that your move took you closer to home istead of farther away.
     
  16. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Jul 6, 2018

    Maybe speaking to a therapist could help you with these recurring family dependency issues and relationships.
     
    Last edited: Jul 7, 2018
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  17. anna9868

    anna9868 Habitué

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    Jul 19, 2018

    yes, yes, sad as it sounds, but for some of us the conventional truth of lives don't work. NOT ALL MOTHERS WANT TO SEE THEIR KIDS SUCCEED. Unfortunately!

    It took me 37 years (and 15 years living with Bipolar disorder) to admit to myself: there do exist mothers out there who become so toxic to their children at some point that we have to severe all connection to them and stop considering them mothers. And yes, it took me years to admit I'm one of those daughters who had to do that.

    What made it double hard was that my mom did the same thing to her mom. Early in her life she stopped calling my grandmother mom or consider her a mother. I grew up with her bitter stories of how terrible her mom was and my mom's (unspoken) hope that everything would be good between the two of us. That we would not repeat this painful process.

    Well, I had to repeat it. Only it took me YEARS to finally severe all the connection with my mother. Almost cost me my own family and definitely my own children's emotional and mental health.

    So, my advise to you is while you don't have to be as harsh to your mom on the outside, in the inside I would recommend that you work on toughening yourself and telling yourself that you don't owe your mom anything. You've already given everything you could to her. As a daughter and financially. You have fulfilled your daughter's responsibility. You don't owe your mom anything. Or your sister, since it sounds like she has been toxic to you as well. This is a harsh story to be telling yourself, but believe me, without believing it with all your heart, you'll be prone to fall into more of your relatives traps, emotionally abusive traps, that is
     
  18. anna9868

    anna9868 Habitué

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    Jul 19, 2018

    TeacherCuriousExpolore, you may be lucky finding a good psychologist, but I just want to warn you....

    Psychologists. Personally, I've dealt with so many psychologists in my life, I've given up on most of them. Many psychologists trained in a standard way are not helpful in helping out with such a difficult unconventional case. So, it's a big waste of money and time. You go to them, tell them the story and they start telling you their "psychological" bullshit on how you need to forgive your mom, work on finding ways to deal with her, etc.

    I am from exSoviet Union. A country where psychologists were frowned upon and distrusted. (I bet it's still like that even now) Back when I was growing up it was an unspoken truth that your own friends are the best talk therapists you can find. I have to admit it still works for me this way. After years and years of dealing with conventional psychologists/psychiatrists I found out the hard way that they are not always helpful in very unconventional situations....
     
  19. geoteacher

    geoteacher Devotee

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    Jul 19, 2018

    Sorry, but I have to disagree with this. I think the key to therapy is finding a counselor who is the right fit and has the right expertise for your particular situation. While talking with friends can certainly be helpful, sometimes it is also helpful to talk about problems with someone who has an unbiased point of view. Also, if medications are needed for anxiety or depression, friends cannot help with that. There is a time and a place for everything, and sometimes there are valid reasons to seek out a psychologist or psychiatrist. Only TeacherCuriousExplore can decide what is right for her.
     
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  20. anna9868

    anna9868 Habitué

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    Jul 19, 2018

    sure, it's up to her. and I think she should search. I just want to warn her that it may not be easy to find a helpful understanding therapist. Sometimes, it takes trying too many of them to find the right one, and the person is already weak from all those anxieties and depressions.
     

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