The way children speak to teachers is disgusting, do you agree?

Discussion in 'Third Grade' started by Missturner, Oct 7, 2017.

  1. Missturner

    Missturner Rookie

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    This week I have had a boy tell me to do it myself when asking him to write the date and title. A girl also threatened to piss in my class when I refused to let her go to the bathroom.
     
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  3. bella84

    bella84 Aficionado

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    Why didn't you let her go to the bathroom?
     
  4. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Students don't talk that way to me.
     
  5. Missturner

    Missturner Rookie

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    She had just come back from lunch. I have a no bathroom in lesson policy
     
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  6. rpan

    rpan Cohort

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    To some extent we are responsible for how kids speak to us. If there is mutual respect, they tend not to be intentionally rude.
     
  7. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Exactly.
     
  8. bella84

    bella84 Aficionado

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    If she doesn't ask all the time, then I'd assume it's some sort of emergency. I get your policy and have one similar, but I make exceptions. Are you sure this wasn't a time when she really needed to use the restroom?
     
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  9. Missturner

    Missturner Rookie

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    If so, was it still right for language like that?
    She waited until home time.
     
  10. bella84

    bella84 Aficionado

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    I mean, if she really needed to go and you weren't letting her go, it sounds like she was just stating the natural consequence.
     
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  11. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    No, not good language. But it seems you might be managing behaviors through intimidation and fear. Which leads to disrespect.
    When some student does have an 'accident' on your floor how are you going to explain not letting kids use the rest rooms?
     
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  12. Missturner

    Missturner Rookie

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    I see no reason why they can't hold on until break. If she was that desperate she wouldn't have been able to wait. 8 year olds should not be using words like that, threatening teachers and show more respect.
     
  13. bella84

    bella84 Aficionado

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    I agree with the others that this sounds like a you problem, not a them problem. Perhaps you need to build better relationships with your students.
     
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  14. Missturner

    Missturner Rookie

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    Are you really saying if you told a student no ( you say you have a similar rule) that you would expect them to threaten to pee on the floor?
     
  15. bella84

    bella84 Aficionado

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    If I let it get that far, yes. I never let it go that far though. If they ask to go when it's an inappropriate time, I ask them if they can wait until a better time. If they say no, I ask if it's an emergency. If they say yes (and as long as this isn't a regular occurrence for the specific student), then I allow them to go. So, I'd never let it go so far as to have a student feel the need to make a threat. I respect them enough to allow them access to a bathroom when they need it, assuming they respect me enough to not make going during a lesson a regular occurrence.
     
  16. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Kids won't respect you simply because you are the teacher. Respect is earned by how you treat people. It's a two way street.
     
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  17. Missturner

    Missturner Rookie

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    She only asked the once and when I said no she responded with " do you want me to piss here" had she not been so rude and expressed it better I may have let her, the way she spoke she could wet herself for all I care
     
  18. bella84

    bella84 Aficionado

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    That right there shows that you don't have respect for her. I'd wager a guess that this isn't the first time she has felt disrespected by you. Why should she bother showing you respect?
     
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  19. a2z

    a2z Virtuoso

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    That'll teach her!
     
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  20. Missturner

    Missturner Rookie

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    Why should I let someone go to the bathroom when they speak like that. She did not try and be polite or have a reason for not going at lunch.
     
  21. bella84

    bella84 Aficionado

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    Because using the restroom is a biological necessity, unless, as she so eloquently stated, you want her to piss in your classroom.
     
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  22. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    You reap what you sow.
     
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  23. Missturner

    Missturner Rookie

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    I have refused children before and never been spoken like that. There are better ways of expressing she was desperate are there not? The teacher decides if a child leaves class do they not?
     
  24. bella84

    bella84 Aficionado

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    Sure, there are better ways of expressing that. Sure, it is up to the teacher whether or not they allow the child to leave the class.

    However, if you really have a history of not allowing children to use the bathroom when they need to, then I'm not surprised that she reacted that way. As has already been stated, not allowing children to use the restroom is unreasonable and shows a lack of respect for them. Start being a bit more understanding and allow kids to use the restroom when they need to go, and you might see an improvement in how they respond to you.
     
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  25. Missturner

    Missturner Rookie

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    They get plenty of opputunities. They should go on their own time. We have to hold it don't we?
     
  26. a2z

    a2z Virtuoso

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    May have. Really?

    Your mind was made up before her retort.
     
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  27. a2z

    a2z Virtuoso

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    You compare an 8 year old body to an adult? Interesting.
     
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  28. Missturner

    Missturner Rookie

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    Of course I made my decision that is why I said no, had she replied politely that it was urgent I may have changed my mind but she didn't.
     
  29. bella84

    bella84 Aficionado

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    Often, 8 year children haven't yet learned to recognize the need to "go" until it becomes an emergency situation. They also often don't have the forethought to see how not going at an opportune time may have a negative impact on a future time. Part of your job as a teacher is to teach your students this with respect. You're expecting them to already understand this. It's cruel to not allow them to go when they need to. You're adult; they're not.
     
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  30. bella84

    bella84 Aficionado

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    The need to "go" isn't contingent upon how politely the request to go is made. Whether she asked politely or not, she needed to go, and you should have let her.
     
  31. Missturner

    Missturner Rookie

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    Why didn't she go at lunch? If she was that desperate.
     
  32. bella84

    bella84 Aficionado

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    She probably didn't realize that she needed to until it was too late. She's eight.
     
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  33. a2z

    a2z Virtuoso

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    I don't buy that you would change your mind based on own comments. You seem bent on making children maintain the same standards as adults. Fact is, if you were going to pee or worse on the floor, you would figure out some way to get an adult in that room to cover or run to the restroom leaving the children unattended OR would you pee on the floor?
     
  34. Missturner

    Missturner Rookie

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    Yes of course I would, but the girl didn't pee herself so she was not that desperate. Could she not have left the classroom to go? The girls bathroom are opposite my classroom.
     
  35. a2z

    a2z Virtuoso

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    Hindsight is 20/20. You don't have hindsight when first asked. You got lucky. It doesn't mean you are justified doing what you did.
     
  36. rpan

    rpan Cohort

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    Missturner, sometimes when we show kids a little kindness, even when they seemingly don't deserve it, it goes a long way, not only in showing through actions how interactions in the classroom should be but also in building relationships. It has to come from us. The kid isn't right to backchat you, but she is 8, she probably doesn't know a better way to voice her frustration at you.
    So you 'won' the toilet battle, but the disrespect you got in return, I personally don't think it was worth it. And the breakdown in relationship isn't worth it either.
     
  37. a2z

    a2z Virtuoso

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    Honestly, I would be terrified as a child to leave the classroom after a teacher said no. If disrespectful words got you upset, I couldn't imagine how disrespecting you by leaving anyway would go for this child. Would you assume she really had to go then or would you claim she could have held it and was just being disrespectful and defiant?
     
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  38. Missturner

    Missturner Rookie

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    There shouldn't be a toilet battle, no should mean no. Go at lunch or sit with your legs crossed.
     
  39. bella84

    bella84 Aficionado

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    That's unreasonable. No wonder your students disrespect you.
     
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  40. Missturner

    Missturner Rookie

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    If you she returned she told me she couldn't wait fair enough.
     
  41. a2z

    a2z Virtuoso

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    I don't believe you.
     
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