Discussion in 'Job Seekers' started by MATgrad, Jul 6, 2009.
Aug 8, 2009
Having a tough week. Everyone is getting their rooms ready.
I know what you mean Simba. As I see all the teachers getting their rooms ready, I think back to the new teacher that came to a party I was recently at that still had not found a job. My heart goes out to her and everyone else that is still on the job search. As a teacher with a few years of experience, the thought of having to sub, just made me physically sick. I did not get hired until March/April and I was really sweating. I am so thankful everyday that I found this job so easily. I KNOW that is not the norm and would love to help everyone find their dream job.
Hope it happens for each of you very soon!
Thanks for your warm wishes for us.
Thanks for the kind words. It really means a lot.
Good luck MAT! to those of you still looking!
would i be a really bad friend if i turn down my friend in helping her set up her room? be honest..
Yes. Sorry, probably not what you want to hear.
yeah i think thats probably true. but i think i still probably wont do it. ive been busting my butt all year trying to find a job and she got one because but feer bf's mom knows the super soooo i cant help but be bitter. i think id probably tear my hair out if I had to be there. i know that sounds awful but gosh i feel like everyone i know got handed a job so easily, barely even applied and ive been spending my entire summer doing it
rose, I think that you should help your friend set up her classroom regardless of what circumstances she received her teaching position. First, you need to maintain that friendship and second, you can use this opportunity to rise above the bitterness and really have some control over it. Do you want to lose a friend because of bitterness of a long job search? Who's in control? Are you truly in control are you going to let the bitterness start trickling into other aspects of your life?
hmm maybe this seems to be something other people would be more angry about...i know that me saying no will NOT cause harm to my friendship. it kind of surprises me that that would even be a suggestion as to a consequence of not doing it. do you feel that you would stop being friends with someone if they asked you and you declined? i know i would not. not that i want to turn this into a debate about friendship lol but i'm pretty secure in my friendships and the thought of losing a friend over politely declining to help set uo her room isnt even a factor. she knows ive been looking but also knows ive had my own classroom which is why she asked me but she knows what it means to me as well.
I think everyone who is still looking for a job should have gone to all the schools they could and wear a tuxedo, a top hat, and sing a jazz song of some kind even if the people did not want to hear you. Works for me.
Keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers... I was a member of this club last year and I know how much it hurts/stinks. Keep the faith and know we're all rooting for you!!!
No I think your friend would be not be nice if she ASKED you to go help her KNOWING that you are looking, looking, lost.... Are you kidding. Tell her, "Wish I could but I have to go drop off resumes and then, I am working on my cover letter. I really need a job and have to keep looking." She would have to understand that!
I think she's a bad friend for being insensitive enough to even ask.
I respectfully disagree with every point you made here.
First, if a friendship dissolves over such a matter then it follows it wasn't such a strong friendship in the first place. Second, what kind of insensitive clod would ask her friend to help her set up her classroom when she knows her friend is quite despondent over not having her own classroom? That's like asking your homeless friend to help you move into your opulent new 6 bedroom house.
Finally, I object to you telling the poster that she needs to gain control over her bitterness. I think you mistake sadness for bitterness and your tone is slightly condescending.
I think the very fact that the poster is worrying about hurting her friend's feelings suggests she's just sad, not bitter and she gets to be sad about this--we all do.
This is could easily turn into a debate over friendship, which is not the purpose of this thread.
rose herself asked for opinions of whether or not she'd be a bad friend if she didn't help her friend. I stated my opinion as did some other posters. Simply state yours.
There's no need to state your opinion of someone else's opinion...that's where it turns into a debate.
Rose--I think if you just explain to her that it would be emotionally hard for you to do this--she would understand.
Rose, I think that you should tell your friend that you would love to give her some ideas and suggestions, but that you really can't help directly. You could say you are too busy or tell her the truth depending on how close you are. Then tell her that you hope that she will be able to help/give ideas, whatever when you get your classroom . Must think positive!
Even though my advise to Rose was to think positive, I know how you feel, it is so hard. It seems I am always running into old teacher friends and they ask "Where are you teaching, now?" They don't mean to be hurtful, they don't know I am still looking. I taught for 14 years so I am bound to run into people at Wal-Mart. Oh, well I am getting better at saying it.
well im glad to know that some people would probably not do it either. yes maybe it makes me a jerk in some regards but to be honest ive been upset, sad, bitter, frustrated etc etc all summer over this and why would i want to put myself in that position to feel those things even more! I'd love to help my friend but I need to take care of my emotional needs too i think. and like i said it was never about losing a friendship, that was never a concern of mine, it was more about the guilt i'll feel not helping her out. and also i definetely didnt want this to turn into a debate so i hope we can all agree to disagree. i think everyone made valid points!
i am just getting really tired of the pity in everyone's faces when i tell them. it immediately brings tears to my eyes and I cant help it!
Aug 9, 2009
Sorry, again, I disagree. Please reread your response objectively.
If I were the one making the initial query, your response would only make me feel worse.
This rings true. It is so hard to want something so much - to need it and then, feel rejection. All I can say is... Keep your chin up and start talking up your back up plan. Make it sound like the best thing that you could be doing. Even though your heart is breaking - smile on the outside. Smile. Smile. Smile. These are well meaning people for the most part. ALL THE BEST. Hugs being sent your way!!
true! and that is what ive been doing! i had 3 interviews this week for less than ideal jobs but you can bet that if i get any of them i will talk them up and make it seem like im oh so happy with them lol i think the people who REALLY know me will know its not 100% true but i can say honestly i'd be happier with any of those jobs than the alternate option of subbing.
The original poster asked for opinions. If someone had an opinion that she didn't really want to hear or made her feel worse, that's for her to deal with. When someone asks for opinions, they accept the fact that they may hear something they don't necessarily want to hear.
Ok... the original poster has already SAID that she did not mean for her request to cause controversy. In the big scheme of things... she already, made her decision. It's Sunday... light a candle, say a prayer for those that need a job, and enjoy your life. THAT is what makes you happy in the end - your life. A job that you LOVE is something that we all WANT... but health and family is something that we NEED. Love my A to Z friends!
Good for you! If you end up digging ditches - say, "Look at my tan! I am so lucky!" If you end up as a Walmart greeter say, "I make my own hours and I meet so many interesting people!" If you end up teaching in a FABULOUS school with terrific parent support and a $15,000 raise, say, "I am SO glad I had the courage to make the move."
Here's hoping you are the next on the Job Hire list.:thumb:
hahah i never realized how easy it is to find a good in every job lol but thank you! and i'm hoping one of the jobs this week come through!
Why would anyone deliberately place herself in a situation that would only intensify feelings of grief, sadness, longing, etc? You owe it to yourself to protect yourself. So, no, you would definitely not be acting like a bad friend by not joining in. You would be acting like an adult who knows how to care for herself.
Why can't someone just hire me?
I'm having an anxious, depressed day today. I'm pretty sure its because I'm broke (and I mean, seriously broke, my checking account is negative and my rent is late) and I'm stressing over what I'm going to do when this maternity leave position is over. I just want to get a permanent position before Sept. 1!
I think I'm going to talk to some relatives about moving in with them until I can get back on my feet. If I got a job I wouldn't have to do this but I've put it off too long already.
Oh, and about the helping a friend set up her classroom - I wouldn't do it either, especially if you know its going to make you feel worse. Do what's best for you!
when is your maternity leave over? do you have a part time job or can you get one? thats the only thing that has calmed my money woes a bit, i dont make a lot at all at my part time job but its a little bit to make me feel more secure.
I'm sorry you're having a rough day, Jlyn. Moving in with relatives for a little while would probably be a good idea. I'm back at my parents now and it's nice to be able to save quite a bit of money. I'd rather live by myself, but for now I am grateful that they are letting me live with them for only a little bit of room and board each week.
Don't feel bad Jlyn! I'm back with my parents as well. Sometimes you have to do what you have to do. I'm not happy about the situation, but I try to tell myself that eventually I'll standing on my own two feet again.
Things will get better. When? I don't know, but eventually they will.
I wish I had a part-time job - I have applied to so many places I've lost count and have had no call backs. The maternity leave position will probably last until the middle or end of October - the teacher isn't due until September 8th so it depends.
I know the smart thing is to move in with a relative (will not be my parents - my old bedroom is FULL of junk!) but it's so hard to think about after living alone for so many years. I think I've become bit of a hermit, lol.
Thanks for all the kind words; they really do mean a lot.
Jlyn-I wish you were a little closer to me and I could help you get a job in the grocery store I have worked at for years (or one of the other stores in the chain that have department managers that I have worked with). I know right now lots of college students are going back, so maybe you'll have more luck finding something.
i just got an email back for a job i applied to through email yesterday. it was basically a rejection email. "we recieved blah blah resumes and i am unable to invite you to interview" honestly, i think this makes me feel worse than getting an interview and not getting the job. he didnt even think i was worth interviewing. and the worst part is its a part time kinder position and all my experience has been in kinder so far. i;m really starting to think there is something wrong with me.
I'm sorry, roseteacher, but try not to take it personally. He may have someone already in mind for the job and it was posted for legal reasons.
I don't know if I should apply for this job I saw posted last week. It is at the same school where I applied for a LTS position a few months ago (didn't get it). This school district is GREAT and even though it's not for a full time position time I'm thinking I should try to get my foot in the door there. Don't know what I should do.
I would apply, TeacherNY and see what happens. Good luck!
Thanks! I remember that the principal was so nice and seemed to like my portfolio.
ETA-I just applied online! I also applied to another school. I kind of glanced over that one because I thought it was too far away. Turns out it's about half an hour away. Not bad!
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