The Pre-Made family...

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by SuperMissM, Oct 1, 2008.

  1. SuperMissM

    SuperMissM Rookie

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    Oct 1, 2008

    okay, so I am currently dating a guy who has two kids from his first marraige. He is awesome, the girls are awesome... the thing that isnt awesome is one of my best friend's reactions to him.

    Everyone I know likes him a lot. My family loves him... he is a great fit for my personality.

    My friend thinks I spend too much time with him, but she does the same when she is dating people.

    I just dont know how to get her to come around, or if she ever will. I dont want to ruin the relationship, but ugh!
     
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  3. Learner4Life

    Learner4Life Cohort

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    Oct 1, 2008

    She must not be dating anyone right now. I'm going to apologize for her because I was this person to a T... until I got a boyfriend of my own. I think just wait it out and see what happens.
     
  4. ecsmom

    ecsmom Habitué

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    Oct 1, 2008

    I agree. Maybe she will find someone and you can double date so she will get to know him better.
     
  5. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Maven

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    Oct 1, 2008

    Sounds like she is afraid that not only will this guy take up most of your time but his kids might take up the rest of it! Maybe you and the kids and her can do something fun like so that she feels included.
     
  6. SuperMissM

    SuperMissM Rookie

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    Oct 1, 2008

    Thats what he was thinking... that she just doesnt have anyone and that shes afraid she will lose me. I just feel that its right with him and that I am getting to the time in my life that I want a family... she doesnt.
     
  7. AMK

    AMK Aficionado

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    Oct 1, 2008

    I remember my friend saying the samething to me last year. She wasn't dating anyone and I had been single for awhile. She said I was putting my new boyfriend before my friends. Well I admitt I do, he is my best friend and we plan on getting married. It helps when your friends are dating too and everyone can go out together.
     
  8. mandagap06

    mandagap06 Devotee

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    Oct 1, 2008

    Well I would talk to her and find out if there is a reason she might have for being this way. It could be that she is just watching out for you.
     
  9. DHE

    DHE Connoisseur

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    Oct 2, 2008

    I had a friend that felt the same way when I got married the first time; I gave her space and allowed her time to come around. She eventually did, later she got married and understood perfectly well.
     
  10. kcjo13

    kcjo13 Phenom

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    Oct 2, 2008

    I spent high school like this. I knew my boyfriend was the one, but my friends did not necessarily agree. Well, 10 years into our marriage, my true friends are now the ones we BOTH hang out with, and the others who said it wouldn't work-haven't seen 'em in years. It all comes out in the wash.
     
  11. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Oct 2, 2008

    I don't know how long you & your friend have been friends, but if she has a history of feeling left out, not liking your bf's, etc., especially if she's unattached at the time, then that's just the way she is I guess. But, if she spends a lot of time w/ her bf's when she has one, then she can't really talk.

    I don't think you should take anyone's side over the other. These days, it's hard to trust ANYONE. Long-time, supposed friends can turn against you & we all know men can too.
     
  12. mmswm

    mmswm Moderator

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    Oct 2, 2008

    It's hard being the "third wheel". She's probably feeling left out. Before you started dating this guy, you two probably spent a bunch of time hanging out together. She misses having somebody to hang out with. She probably knows somewhere in her brain that new relationships DO take time, but she misses her friend at the same time. You might want to take some extra time just for her to go shopping, get your nails done, or just hang out to help her feel less lonely.
     
  13. Irishdave

    Irishdave Enthusiast

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    Oct 2, 2008

    Being forewarned is a hard thing to take, let her be your BS detector.
    Take what she says for what it is worth.... she could be 110% wrong I hope so.

    Make sure you ask direct questions of your guy!
    Not "what went wrong with your marriage?" but "what did you do in your marriage?"
     

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