Discussion in 'General Education' started by Linguist92021, Sep 26, 2012.
Sep 26, 2012
be careful. This kid has a mad crush on you....and most of his words are entirely inappropriate. Im not sure where you see it turning around.
This should be a warning to you. Light bulbs should be flashing... Be warned. You DON'T want to be THAT teacher.
I don't get it, I don't want to be what teacher?
Linguist...this isn't a nice poem...it's sexual in nature... And somehow you arent seeing it as inapprpriate.You let the kid read it out loud, you posted it here with dud dub hearts...:wub: as the responsible adult, you have to set limits.
Well, like I said a few places I was thinking, ok, that's turning very inappropriate, but honestly I fail to see why this should be a warning.
This is a place where some of the kids curse at their teacher, call them all kind of names, or at the very least are disrespectful, they destroy classrooms (textbooks, chairs, desks, walls are all tagged up). And then this kid sites there, quietly, respectfully, does all his work and participates and write this poem...
I don't know...
He didn't read it out aloud to other kids. The dubbed hearts was a mistake, it was supposed to be a red smiley face
please be a troll
please be a troll
PLEASE be a troll
The first thing I think of when I read that poem is Mary Kay Letourneau. That's not a vibe that I want to be getting from something created by a student for a teacher.
I think that you should turn that poem over to your administrator. The contents of the note are not appropriate. You need to report it and you need to ask that someone talk to this kid and explain that poems like this written to a teacher are not okay.
Looks like Ceasar beat me to it, but I was going to say, if I ever received a poem like that from a student, I would go straight to my principal and have him pull the kid our of my class for a "talk".
Sep 27, 2012
Hmmm...My little bit of working with young males in lock up facilities taught me that they tend to see females in two roles - sort of like how hollywood sees us - sexual or nuns. I think it is positive that the young man wants to write poetry and that he feels he wants to share it with you. I think there is a way to respect that, while also sharing with him that you are his teacher, not to be sexualized. It is a matter of respect. If he can learn to not sexualize all females he looks up to, he will be ahead of Hollywood! From previous posts I have read from you OP I doubt you want to be anything other than a brilliant teacher (or sub) to these young men. And I applaud your enthusiasm for his writing, but I do agree that this is an issue that you as his teacher (or sub) need to help him to see as important. Good luck!
Thank you for seeing it that way. I agree with you.
How do I work with him to change his view? Today he sat in class, respectfully, quietly, did all his work, volunteered to read out loud and participated. This is how he was this whole week.
He didn't try to have a private conversation, didn't ask for any special favors, didn't act up to see if I give him a break (which would mean we now have a special bond) -> the signs of manipulation.
Honestly, the kid that sits there quietly staring at me the whole time creeps me out more than this poem. He sits, does his work, but stares at me with a face that I know he's thinking of something else. He doesn't do anything inappropriate, doesn't stare me up and down, doesn't stare at my butt, etc, he always looks in my eyes. But there is something on his face, in his eyes, that I know something is not right.
He's a cute kid, maybe he's just used to getting girls' attention by staring at them, and he's trying that, who knows?
But in my opinion he has sexual thoughts. What do I do about that? I can't tell him to stop looking at me, because most of the time I'm telling them to look at me and pay attention as I speak.
Do you think we can teach these kids not to sexualize females, when most of the time what they see are their home girls in the gang having sex with anyone, some of them are pimps, or have been around them, or at least know how it is, haven't really seen any positive female role models? And it doesn't help that they're teenagers with raging hormones, locked up, seeing mostly male teachers / officers (only about 30 % of the entire staff are female).
Sep 28, 2012
THere is nothing you can do about what the boys are thinking. There is nothing they can do about it either. When I was a young teenage boy in a normal small HS we pretty much had one thing on our minds and in our discussions and that is just the truth. Raging hormones is pretty much it. I cannot imagine how boys feel in some sort of all male lockup. That said you can talk about respect for people and their feelings. You have to demand and earn it though. I remember being in 7th grade with a very attractive young math teacher. I guess I learned some math (I teach it some now and am certified in it).
I have to say I admire people that work with tough groups like you have.
Thank you. And I agree about the respect. I think I have their respect. Let's see... they did the following to other female teachers / subs: grabbed her butt, called her all kinds of demeaning and sexual names, write demeaning things, brush up against her, in one class one guy opened his pants and whipped it out, another guy did the same and started doing jumping jacks, in another class one guys just simply started playing with himself. These are just the things I know of.
One officer just got removed because she was actually having sex with kids, and I have heard from pretty reliable sources that was not just an isolated incident. Things like that go on all the time.
And 'all' I get is kids write me poems, or letters. One guy wrote me a letter - he's going home - he said I give him strength, because everything time we talk things make sense to him, and I will always have a special place in his heart. These are the kind of things I get from these kids, so one time someone kinda crossed the line, I didn't feel like turning him in.
Of course if the guy with poem would approach me with another one, I'd stop him right there and tell him why, and explain about this one also.
One poem was enough. Make that clear...your hearts and smiley faces seem to belie what you are saying. It's not ok, despite how your students treat other teachers. You've posted about FB friending troubled students and now this very suggestive poem, which you don't perceive as inappropriate...it's time to take a step back and see what role you may be playing here. Time to set some limits.
I'm generally in the "report it" camp when it comes to stuff like this. If it turns out that the student makes claims of inappropriate goings-on between the two of you, one thing he could point to is this poem and other communications like it. He might say, "Hey, this is proof that we had something special. If it really bothered her, she would have reported it, but she didn't. She kept our secret." It might seem far-fetched, but I'm telling you that it's within the realm of possibilities. Reporting this sort of thing is as much about protecting you from your students' inappropriate behaviors as it is protecting yourself from claims that you yourself are engaging in inappropriate activities. If you keep everything on the up and up, if you keep yourself above reproach, and if you report anything even a little bit questionable, then you don't have to worry about anything. If you start keeping secrets, hiding things that are questionable, and not reporting your students when they make advances towards you, then people start to question your judgment. That's not something you want. Once destroyed, reputations are difficult to rebuild.
You're exaggerating again, like you do so often. I posted about thinking about friending one student under a completely different name just to know if he's ok. I ASKED about it, I didn't say I was doing it. Then I also posted, that I agree it's not worth it, it wouldn't be right.
But you take that as I posted about FB friending troubled students - that's far fetched. It seems like no one can ask a question on these boards because people jump on them all the time. And then you use that against them later on.
Draw a line with your students. Your hearts and smileys regarding this inappropriate behavior sends a message that one would hope you didn't send your student.
Good for you for reconsidering your Facebook friends...
I have drawn a line, there has always been a line.
Now the thing is if I report this student, this would be a huge deal and he could get new charges. They could make it into a whole sexual harassment case. You could say he deserves it, but I don't think he should be punished as if he grabbed me, or did something worse. So should I do it? It just doesn't seem right.
And like I said he knows this is not welcome, because again, I saw him today, and he acted right. (that was a typo i had to fix that)
I missed the poem?!?
Yes you did and I'm not abut to repost it haha
it seems very controversial, but I gotta tell you, it didn't depict any sexual images, or any sexual activity or anything. It was subtle, tt had some implied stuff in it. But a lot of it was actually very nice. (and now everyone will jump on me for saying that)
for example: "I'm nervous to tell you what I really feel,
intelligent beauty is what you reveal"
Go back and read the responses on the first page of this thread..written by those who did read the poem. Images of Mary Kay LeTorurneau aren't brought on by references to 'intelligent beauty'.
Man, wish I saw the poem... I'm curious about how I would interpret it.
Agreed. I feel like a certain people here would interpret it one way, and others would interpret it another. At least that seems to be the common trend.
I've read it now.
I think it is clear from all your posts that you genuinely care for these students, and I can't express enough how amazing it is that they have someone who doesn't immediately write them off and someone who still has expectations for them.
But this poem... Not a fiber of my being would have found it flattering or appropriate.
Ok, now I'm dying of curiosity...I want to see the poem!
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