The big P -When to break the news

Discussion in 'Elementary Education' started by Elcsmith, Sep 27, 2010.

  1. Elcsmith

    Elcsmith Companion

    Joined:
    Nov 7, 2006
    Messages:
    110
    Likes Received:
    0

    Sep 27, 2010

    I work at a small school. There are 18 classroom teachers. 4 of those classroom teachers are pregnant......I MAKE 5!

    I'm terrified to tell my principal. She makes jokes about it every year and always says "okay everyone, we've reached our pregnancy limit for the year." Anytime you have a private meeting with her she thinks you're going to tell her you're pregnant.

    So my question is.....when do I break the news? Do I tell her asap so we can start making preparations or do I wait the traditional 3 months?

    I'm not due until the beginning of May so I've got some time.

    I'm super excited but super stressed about the meeting!
     
  2.  
  3. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2001
    Messages:
    24,959
    Likes Received:
    2,116

    Sep 27, 2010

    Wait until after your first trimester.

    Congratulations!! (Is it something in the water at your school?:whistle:)
     
  4. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2006
    Messages:
    27,534
    Likes Received:
    6

    Sep 27, 2010

    Congratulations!!!

    And I agree; wait until the end of your first trimester.
     
  5. SpecialPreskoo

    SpecialPreskoo Moderator

    Joined:
    Jul 19, 2002
    Messages:
    5,110
    Likes Received:
    475

    Sep 27, 2010

    I wouldn't tell her in a private meeting. I would wait until you have a faculty meeting and tell it out in the open. :D
     
  6. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2006
    Messages:
    27,534
    Likes Received:
    6

    Sep 27, 2010

    Sorry, but I disagree. I think she deserves the courtesy of being told face to face.
     
  7. sundrop

    sundrop Cohort

    Joined:
    Jul 31, 2007
    Messages:
    552
    Likes Received:
    0

    Sep 27, 2010

    Yay! Don't be stressed. Not good for you or baby. I would wait until the end of the first trimester and then be happy to share the wonderful news. :)
     
  8. kcjo13

    kcjo13 Phenom

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2005
    Messages:
    4,395
    Likes Received:
    7

    Sep 27, 2010

    Your health and the baby's health is your first priority. I know it is hard to think about school...you kinda feel like you are letting them down right? It's normal. But you're NOT. People get pregnant every day, and companies and schools just have to cope. They will get through. Your job is to teach to the best of your abilities in the time you are there, and make good and thorough preparations for your sub.

    My baby was born in May, and it was great! Kind of like an extended...and free...maternity leave. I had to take a couple weeks before the baby was born, but my coworkers donated enough days to cover me, then I had the whole summer just to relax and enjoy the baby (I ended up covering 1/8 of a day myself-I work with some great people!). By the time school started, I was relaxed, refreshed, and ready to go. The baby is old enough that you don't feel like you are leaving a tiny newborn as much.

    Congrats!
     
  9. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2005
    Messages:
    14,070
    Likes Received:
    1,886

    Sep 27, 2010

    I would wait until the end of your first trimester unless your pregnancy can or will impact your job in some way (time off for appointments, reluctance to do lifting or carrying, concern about dealing with students who may be physical, etc). If this is the case, you should share, privately, with your principal as soon as you can. Ask that your P keep your news confidential so that you can share it when you are ready.

    In the past few years, we have had several cases of Fifth Disease which can be dangerous to a fetus. Our principal was able to get our pregnant staff members out of the building quickly to ensure their safety (she then held a meeting at recess to let us know of the illness so that anyone who had "news to disclose" could do so and leave).
     
  10. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2001
    Messages:
    24,959
    Likes Received:
    2,116

    Sep 27, 2010

    :yeahthat:
     
  11. Bored of Ed

    Bored of Ed Enthusiast

    Joined:
    Apr 23, 2006
    Messages:
    2,230
    Likes Received:
    1

    Sep 28, 2010

    A lot of people are saying wait 3 months as a blanket rule. However, I think it needs to be a personal decision. If you're feeling well and working well then no need to say anything. But very often those first weeks when nobody can see what you're going through can be the hardest. I had to miss some work due to morning sickness, or call in for someone to take over my class for a few urgent minutes - do this too often without telling anyone what's going on and it won't look good. Plus, when you DO come clean, they'll all be rolling their eyes like "Riiiiight... should've known."

    So, if you're doing fine, you can sit tight. But if you start feeling like you'll need more support, you may as well provide the information you need to get it. All the secret-keeping can be more of a pain than the alternative.
     
  12. mrachelle87

    mrachelle87 Fanatic

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2006
    Messages:
    2,815
    Likes Received:
    53

    Sep 28, 2010

    My principal knew before my husband. I was at school. I had been sick for several days and a friend decided that I was pregnant. She brought a pregnancy test and made me take it in the teacher's bathroom. When I walked out in shock -- my son was 8 almost 9--my principal was standing there with my teaching team. He went into action--he asked a teacher to cover for me so I could go share the news with my husband.

    So I went to the florist, picked up baby balloons, and a beanie baby...and showed up in my husband's classroom---45 minutes away. My husband was not the most receptive person. He just looked at me and said "we will talk about this when we get home." I turned around drove back to school with tears pouring down my face. I went to the gym where my 2nd grade son was in class and gave him a balloon with the beanie baby. He was much more excited. My teammates made up for my husband's reaction. And I gave birth to a healty girl-7.5 months later.

    The year my daughter was born there were three of us nursing in the building. Our young male principal was wonderful about it. He had privacy blinds installed and arranged our planning to make it easier for us to pump.


    WAIT UNTIL YOU ARE READY TO SHARE>>>DO IT YOUR WAY!
     
  13. SpecialPreskoo

    SpecialPreskoo Moderator

    Joined:
    Jul 19, 2002
    Messages:
    5,110
    Likes Received:
    475

    Sep 28, 2010

    Oh wow Mrachelle... I don't think I would've had ANYTHING to say to my husband after that response. I am glad you had a supportive P and staff!
     
  14. UVAgrl928

    UVAgrl928 Habitué

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2008
    Messages:
    968
    Likes Received:
    0

    Sep 28, 2010

    Yea... one of our teammates just announced hers to us this week. She isn't due until April, and it's still a hush hush thing for now as she's not ready to tell the whole staff. Our response was that we were starting to already see the symptoms that we saw her last pregnancy. It happens, people get excited, and then they get over it. That's one thing about the profession, we love children... so lots of us wind up pregnant at some point!
     
  15. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2006
    Messages:
    27,534
    Likes Received:
    6

    Sep 28, 2010

    If morning sickness forces you to tell one or two people, then of course do so.

    But if the worst case scenario happens, it's brutally hard having to "untell" people. That's why so many people suggest waiting out that first trimester.
     
  16. kcjo13

    kcjo13 Phenom

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2005
    Messages:
    4,395
    Likes Received:
    7

    Sep 28, 2010

    Can I add something about the morning sickness...I think people can be incredibly rude when it comes to morning sickness. It drives me crazy that any time a woman who is of childbearing age doesn't feel well, people automatically assume she is pregnant. During the 2 years that I was trying to conceive both my second and third children, I found it really insensitive when and if I wasn't feeling well and people would say "well, are you pregnant?". I realize it might be a legitimate question in some cases, but it can also be very heartbreaking.

    I think a woman should be able to be sick, whether pregnant or not, and not have people pry into her business.
     
  17. Hoot Owl

    Hoot Owl Aficionado

    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2008
    Messages:
    3,888
    Likes Received:
    0

    Sep 28, 2010

    Wow, I wish I had that problem, :) my youngest is 26 y.o.

    It's such a special time in your life! If you feel comfortable telling your principal now do so; I don't know what kind of a realtionnship you have with her.
     
  18. kcjo13

    kcjo13 Phenom

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2005
    Messages:
    4,395
    Likes Received:
    7

    Sep 28, 2010

    It's just a no-win answerable question...what do you say to it:

    Yes, I am, and puking in the toilet daily is how I chose to break the news?

    No, I'm not, and I can't seem to get pregnant for the life of me, despite all the practice?

    No, I'm not, it wouldn't be possible due to me not gettin' any?

    It's just one of my pet peeves! :)
     
  19. Elcsmith

    Elcsmith Companion

    Joined:
    Nov 7, 2006
    Messages:
    110
    Likes Received:
    0

    Sep 28, 2010

    Thankfully the morning sickness has not been a problem. I think I'll keep my secret for awhile. Thanks for the feedback! I was really torn.
     
  20. trayums

    trayums Enthusiast

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2005
    Messages:
    2,424
    Likes Received:
    0

    Sep 28, 2010

    I agree that you need to tell the principal face to face alone but PLEASE wait until your first trimester is over!!!! (p.s. I am 19 weeks pregnant today!!! Take care of yourself and get LOTS of sleep!!!!)
     
  21. JaimeMarie

    JaimeMarie Moderator

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2005
    Messages:
    10,120
    Likes Received:
    0

    Sep 28, 2010

    This is what I say. Shuts people up.
     
  22. JaimeMarie

    JaimeMarie Moderator

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2005
    Messages:
    10,120
    Likes Received:
    0

    Sep 28, 2010

    congrats by the way. I need to start a new cheat sheet of pregnant ladies. I lost my old one when hubby took my computer.
     
  23. prek176

    prek176 Companion

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2007
    Messages:
    144
    Likes Received:
    0

    Sep 28, 2010

    Congratulations!! Shortly after starting my teaching job in Nov. one year I was quite surprised to find out I was pregnant with baby #4 just a few weeks later. My son was in K at the time and the chatty boy boldly told my principal that his mom was going to have a baby! I was mortified but had also been scared to tell the principal so soon after hire. The baby came in July which was a blessing as I didn't miss very much of the next school year! I suggest telling your principal before the good news gets out! Good luck to you!!
     
  24. Bored of Ed

    Bored of Ed Enthusiast

    Joined:
    Apr 23, 2006
    Messages:
    2,230
    Likes Received:
    1

    Sep 28, 2010

    PreK - and the moral of the story is, only tell your kids what you're ready for the whole world to know!

    It's sadly funny, I have a friend with a number of children already who still hasn't learned this... she's very into open parenting (don't know if there's an official word for that, but you know what I mean - nothing hidden from the kids) which in theory is nice but gosh that family has no secrets.
     
  25. newteacher26

    newteacher26 Companion

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2009
    Messages:
    120
    Likes Received:
    0

    Sep 28, 2010

    There are at least 8 teachers pregnant on my campus. My mentor teacher found out she was expecting the day I started my ST assignment! She was so excited that she couldn't keep it in so she told me - after knowing me for only about an hour. I think it's a very exciting time!! =)

    Last year my son had 4 teachers - ALL 4 were pregnant. Luckily when one went out another had just come back, so he didn't have subs in all his classes at once.
     
  26. mmswm

    mmswm Moderator

    Joined:
    Nov 5, 2007
    Messages:
    5,621
    Likes Received:
    6

    Sep 28, 2010


    :rofl: I've gained a bit of weight recently and had somebody ask me that question. I answered, "Well, my name IS Mary, and it did happen once in history, but, no, not this time."
     
  27. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

    Joined:
    May 13, 2004
    Messages:
    5,892
    Likes Received:
    169

    Sep 28, 2010

    I'd wait until you can no longer hide it & one can start to barely notice it.

    COngrats!
     
  28. Starista

    Starista Cohort

    Joined:
    Mar 26, 2006
    Messages:
    671
    Likes Received:
    1

    Sep 29, 2010

    Hi! I'm 19 weeks pregnant with our first baby. :love:

    This is such an amazingly exciting time for you and your family and I wish you TONS of congrats!

    I strongly advise you to wait until 12 weeks, unless of course you're too sick/uncomfortable to wait that long.

    When I was pregnant the first time around (lost the baby at 10 weeks) I told EVERYONE (meaning admin. and coworkers) at just 5 weeks. The support I received was great... but... it was extremely difficult dealing with my own emotions and having to "untell" everyone the news.

    I told the people at my school around week 12-13 and I am so glad I did because my morning sickness has actually worsened in my 2nd trimester!

    BEST WISHES to you for a HAPPY and HEALTHY pregnancy! I am soooo happy for you! :) :love:
     
  29. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2006
    Messages:
    27,534
    Likes Received:
    6

    Sep 29, 2010

    Oh, Star, that totally stinks!!!

    I was lucky enough that the morning sickness was over at the 12 week mark. And, since both my daughters were born in February, that meant it took place over the summer.

    Of course it was a DAILY thing for both those summers; I pretty much should have taken out stock in Saltine crackers. But it didn't effect school at all.

    Brian, of course, was morning sickness free!!!
     
  30. alschoolteacher

    alschoolteacher Companion

    Joined:
    Jul 30, 2007
    Messages:
    153
    Likes Received:
    0

    Sep 29, 2010

    I work in a small school as well. There are 18 classroom teachers K-8 and we have had up to 5 pregnant at one time. It is a problem to find subs sometimes. I made sure to tell my principal as soon as possible, so that he could make arrangements. I can only imagine how hard it would be to "untell" people, but I think that I would want the support of family and friends during that time. A co-worker had to "untell" the school twice last year. She is pregnant again this year and has told the principal and a few others, but has not told any of the children this time.
     
  31. Elcsmith

    Elcsmith Companion

    Joined:
    Nov 7, 2006
    Messages:
    110
    Likes Received:
    0

    Sep 29, 2010

    Another pregnancy announcement today = 6! YIKES! We were all forbidden by the principal to drink the water.
     
  32. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2005
    Messages:
    14,070
    Likes Received:
    1,886

    Sep 30, 2010

    I'm not even sure that I'd want to step foot into the building :eek:! (Of course, my baby is 16!)
     
  33. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2006
    Messages:
    27,534
    Likes Received:
    6

    Sep 30, 2010

    We had a year like that a while ago in the math department. I think there were 4 or 5 babies born, all to people in my department of 22, that year. Three of the maternity leaves overlapped!!!
     
  34. taryn_liz

    taryn_liz Rookie

    Joined:
    Mar 20, 2009
    Messages:
    57
    Likes Received:
    0

    Sep 30, 2010

    We had about 10 pregnant last year in my school, and it's continued into this year, as there are 3 currently pregnant teachers at our school...I am thankfully not one of them!
     
  35. kimrandy1

    kimrandy1 Enthusiast

    Joined:
    May 8, 2005
    Messages:
    2,181
    Likes Received:
    1

    Sep 30, 2010

    I had the opposite experience. I lost a baby at about 12 weeks, and I really wish every had known I was pregnant. I had to be out of school for a D&C and missed the next two days, too, and I hated having to answer the questions..."oh, I was pregnant, but I miscarried" and having to deal with the shock. And I needed help from some people - help with sub plans, help with my older child, help with the dog....and it was awkward to ask. So, for the next pregnancy, I told everyone the minute the stick turned blue, and I also lost that one. But it felt a lot easier to ask for the help I needed and not have to get the horrible emotional shock I got from people after the first "suprise" miscarriage.

    The positive thing is that I went on to have two more beautiful, healthy babies. And I told everyone who could possibly hear all about it with no hesitation.
     
  36. Yank7

    Yank7 Habitué

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2007
    Messages:
    870
    Likes Received:
    0

    Oct 1, 2010

    Congratulation!This is something you should feel great about. If it worries you,I would tell the principal now to avoid any stress you might feel.It also might cover the guilt you might feel if you need to take some time off.
    However,if you feel telling the principal will make you worry,then wait until it becomes obvious.
    Ever way it would be a pretty petty principal who would be angry with you over such a wonderful event.
    GOOD LUCK!!
     
  37. MandaNicole01

    MandaNicole01 Habitué

    Joined:
    Dec 21, 2004
    Messages:
    822
    Likes Received:
    0

    Oct 3, 2010

    Do what feels right to you! With my oldest son, I told my principal right away, 6-8 weeks. With my second, I told my principal and coworkers when I was 12 weeks...but I didn't find out myself until I was 10 weeks! I never told my students...I teach K and I wanted them to just figure it out...but I was about 16 weeks when school let out and none of them ever questioned, so I just let it go. That summer, at 20 weeks I lost my sweet baby boy. His umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck. I was told this was extremely rare. Like a previous poster, I was glad people knew so I didn't have to "hide" my loss. Of course, at 20 weeks, there was no hiding it, it was obvious I was pregnant and we had already decided on names, etc.

    Later that year I found out I was pregnant again...I did wait to tell until I was 6-8 weeks...and I did later tell my students...at 27 weeks! Poor little things, they had no idea why I was (in the words of one of the students) "getting fat!" :) My sweet little girl, Emma, was born just a few weeks after the year anniversary of losing my baby boy, Daniel. I'm currently off work on infant bonding leave. She is 2 months today! :) I pray you have a wonderful pregnancy and do what feels right, don't live in fear! Shout it from the rooftops if you want!:) Congratulations! Motherhood ROCKS!:)
     

Share This Page

Members Online Now

Total: 209 (members: 1, guests: 177, robots: 31)
test