I am struggling to connect with my "team" and would love some BTDT advice. This has been an ongoing struggle all year. From day 1, I was accused of not being a team player. I didn't ask enough questions, I asked too many, I didn"t ask the right questions. I didn't follow them in creating paper folders every 2-3 weeks - instead use a plastic zipper pouch. By doing that I'm giving my students an unfair advantage. I don't arrive at 6am and don't stay until 6pm. I work my contracted hours unless I want to stay late or we have a required meeting (this is what admin expects of us - and encourage us to not stay too late to protect ourselves from burn out). They tell me one thing, but do something else. Then, tell me afterwords "oh it was supposed to be this way." I've messed up assessments and had to redo them because they weren't clear. I could go on and on. Long story short, I've meet with admin. They listen. Nothing really changes, but it has been a very hectic time with significant stress on the school (Beyond covid). Long story short, due to unforeseen circumstances we will be remote learning the month of January. I am anticipating pure and utter nightmareish circumstances AGAIN. No communication (while they communicate with each other frequently). I will be bound to screw up something. I have to create from scratch our phonics lessons to meet their expectations - but they wont tell me their expectation AND they already have stuff they created last year. I asked if they could share the folder with me. They told me "NO", but they will all be posting that material to their google classroom. So why am I being required to reinvent the wheel? Anyways! My admin said she wants me to be happy and doesn't want to lose me as a teacher - I'm a fantastic teacher and blah blah blah. Ya'll know the drill. Honestly, I really like the school. I don't love the team. We will be doubling our classes next year. Will the dynamics shift? Maybe? The root of the problem is that I can in as an experienced teacher. The team lead keeps saying I don't know how to be on a team and that I don't put in the effort because I don't work 6am to 6pm. Admin suggested moving to another team - first grade. Honestly, I don't love the idea. I tutor 3-5th graders. I love teaching them and their sassy-selves. The only way I'd move to first grade is if I stayed with my class which admin wont allow. I keep pondering this question. Everyone's says move to first grade. First grade team is great (and they are great). I just don't see myself teaching first grade. I have done so much work and prep for Kinder. I don't want to start ALL OVER (BTDT moving from prek to kinder). Side Note: Eventually she does want to have a pre-k program - so I'd rather stay Kinder and in touch with that. :sigh:
thank you, I’ve worked on many teams and I’ve never experienced such treatment. We had disagreements of course, but nothing like this. We could laugh about it later on.
From what you have described over the past months, in my opinion, the situation you are in is not going to change on this team as long as the admin allows this person to be the team lead (no matter how many additional classes are added). You may have some additional support having additional teachers in your grade level. However, there is no guarantee that it will improve. How many new teachers will be willing to push back against this team lead? I'm not sure what you should do, but I know I wouldn't be holding my breath that doubling the number of classes will improve the situation with the team lead.
Thank you for your honest feedback. That is my biggest concern - interviews always start with the team lead(s), then go to admin. If I had interviewed with her, I don't think I would have gotten to the admin round. To be honest, I wouldn't have taken the job if I had interviewed with her. Her preference is new teachers, with little to no experience, so she can train them in "her way." Staying in my current grade gives me the opportunity to be a mentor teacher. I have a coworker's daughter who wants to student teacher with me. Admin suggested the team lead, but I don't think they realized (or the team lead realizes) that I also meet the qualifications. If I move grade levels, she would have to student teach with the lead teacher. I would really like that leadership opportunity. I just wish I knew what to do to fix the problem. I love teaching my grade. I don't want to move with every ounce of me. I just can't do whatever this is again.
Your "team" is a bunch of toxic witches.I'm so sorry! I hope you can find a better setting next year.
Yikes on bikes!! If your admit really wanted to help they would address the team and tell them to include you and share material. If they are letting you do everything on your own then they have no say in what you do. I'm not really on a "team" and I'm glad because I'd rather do things my own way. What is the benefit of teams anyway?
The only thing I can think of to CYA is to document all of your "team" interactions. Keep a reflection / venting journal. When you have your next review, bring that with you.
I have been documenting in that sense. I shared it with admin at our last meeting, so they are aware I am documenting. I know they function on two sides of every story and right now they are getting 3 saying one thing and me saying another. They don’t talk to others outside the team who come up to me or witness their behavior.
That's why email is your best friend. If you can conduct business via email as much as possible, that takes away that element of doubt. It's no longer he-said/she-said, but print off or bcc that nonsense and it's all right there in black and white. Easier said than done though, since I'd bet there's lots of snarky social aggressions as well.
How brave do you feel?? It may be time to rock the boat. Ask admin to attend the next team meeting. Take over the meeting at the onset...tell everyone that you are finished with their bull. You are done doing #1, #2, #3, etc. Bring up concrete examples of their outlandish behavior and tell them in no uncertain terms that you will no longer be allowing their foolishness to affect your classroom. Think about your worst case scenario and decide if that is something you can live with. Or can you live with the psychological pressures and stress that this situation is placing on you?
That is very brave and rather risky. Admin. might see you as really angry while the other 3 all act nice and sweet at that meeting. Then the 3 in private will let you have it for going over their head. You will gain nothing as admin. might lose more respect for you as you seem like the "uncalm one" and the "inflexible one" in the group. I think a better way might be to limit the team stuff you do with this team and keep admin. out of it as much as possible. Admin. hates being dragged into these things and if you do, they often don't act the way you wish. Admin. could say you are new, you need to get with their program. Putting all your trust in admin. is risky as the "new one". I would be kind to them, but take no bullying from them. Make it a great year for yourself and the children. They seem to want to do things their own way.
Another plan might be to record the meetings on your phone. If they ask, it's that you seem to be having a lack of clarity and you want to make sure you're understanding things properly.
If you do this, you will have to make sure you tell the teachers you are recording the meeting. Recording without their knowledge is against the law, and that is the last thing you need.
Yes, different states have different laws regarding recording. But if you are in a state where you can record without telling the others, you will be seen by others, when this gets out (and it most likely will if you use it), as someone everyone has to be careful around. I am not saying recording without other's knowledge is never necessary, but it should be used for only the worst offenses. Much like the situation you are facing now, weighing the consequences of the choice will be important. In your situation I would not suggest recording without others knowing if that is legal in your state. There are too many downsides since you are willing to stay in your current bad situation to avoid switching grades. I wanted to let you know I am not judging your choices. You know the situation better than any of us because you live it and you know your tolerances.
I am sorry to hear you have to experience such bad treatment. Hope your situation improved meanwhile at least a little bit. If not, maybe some general thoughts can help a little: people won't change unless they want to, and from what you described they really have no intention to change or overthink their behavior at all. It seems like to tried it all, talking to admin etc. So I'd say no matter what you try next, chances for a true change are quite small because you "are not one of them" appearently. It seems like they don't even want to see your qualifications and respect your experiences. Sometimes asking yourself some questions can bring some clarification about what's the right thing to do: Maybe leaving the school might be the right choice for you? Or would you rather keep your current students but have a bad team atmosphere around you? How happy makes you teaching your grade on a scale from -10 to +10? And how unhappy makes you working with that team on that same scale? Comparing both numbers could maybe help with a decision of staying or leaving that school. Just an idea... wish you all the best!
Sometimes the adults are more poorly behaved than the children. I don’t trust any teacher who doesn’t share their resources with a colleague. We should be collaborative and not hoarding our lesson plans, but helping others along on their journey, just like we would want to have help if the roles were reversed. I don’t trust any adult who gaslights you the way this group seems to be doing and setting you up for failure. Admin needs some more backbone and should be walking their talk. Honestly, the only one you can change and control is yourself. This group has it in for you (like a clique or gang) and if it were me, I’d be looking to transfer out to a school with a different culture.
In life, the most undesirable things often happen! But as the Chinese say, the other side of the problem is an opportunity)))
