teaching and parenting

Discussion in 'General Education' started by flowerpower31, Jun 22, 2010.

  1. flowerpower31

    flowerpower31 Comrade

    Joined:
    Aug 14, 2007
    Messages:
    372
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jun 22, 2010

    My husband and I have always planned that when we have children, I'm going to stay home with them until the youngest one starts going to school. We've recently realized that that's probably not something we're gonna be able to do and that I'm probably gonna need to continue working. We're okay with that, but I'm wondering: how does teaching affect your parenting? Do you feel like you never get a break from kids, or do you look forward to coming home to your kids every night? Do your kids go to day care and, if so, how do you deal with that?

    Any insight/thoughts would be appreciated. :)
     
  2.  
  3. ebrillblaiddes

    ebrillblaiddes Companion

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2007
    Messages:
    107
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jun 22, 2010

    No offspring here but I have a second-hand experience that's relevant to the topic. One of my professors in college switched over from teaching elementary so that her kid-interaction energy would be intact at the end of the day. I think she was planning to consider going back into elementary once the kids were older. If you have a master's degree or will have one by that time, it might be an option worth considering, since it seemed to be working out OK for her.
     
  4. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2007
    Messages:
    17,362
    Likes Received:
    46

    Jun 22, 2010

    I look forward to going home at the end of the day and spending time with my daughter. One is a whole lot better than 20! I think teaching has made me a better parent and vise-versa.
     
  5. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2006
    Messages:
    27,534
    Likes Received:
    6

    Jun 22, 2010

    I can't speak for others. But I can tell you that parenting has made me a far better teacher.
     
  6. TeacherSandra

    TeacherSandra Enthusiast

    Joined:
    Oct 29, 2006
    Messages:
    2,305
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jun 22, 2010


    I thought I was a pretty good darn teacher when I was single, but I agree with Alice.
    I think you tend to be more "understanding" if that's the right word. I can't put my finger on it; cuz I know I was an understanding single teacher. But, I know I would have done some things differently looking back.

    That being said...there are some wonderful single teachers! Most of my son's high school teachers are single and not that much older than him so they seem to be more understanding that I was with the little ones. Though, I loved them to pieces! :hugs:

    Go figure! Hope I didn't confuse you. :crosseyed
     
  7. TeacherApr

    TeacherApr Groupie

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2007
    Messages:
    1,256
    Likes Received:
    3

    Jun 22, 2010

    I'm a single parent therefore I had no choice but to go back to work after maternity leave. I feel it's completely different when comparing your students to your own child. I enjoy it very much when it's time to pick up my daughter! In fact, I look forward to it.

    I have made a connection with both though. I feel that I am becoming a better teacher BECAUSE I'm a parent and vice versa. Your own child is so much more different than someone else's child/children! heh
     
  8. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2001
    Messages:
    24,958
    Likes Received:
    2,112

    Jun 22, 2010

    :yeahthat::yeahthat:
     
  9. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2005
    Messages:
    14,059
    Likes Received:
    1,883

    Jun 22, 2010

    I'm convinced that being a parent has not only made me more effective working with my students, but has also made me more effective working with the parents of my students. I treat my students the way that I would want my own children treated and the parents of my students the way I want to be.
     
  10. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2006
    Messages:
    27,534
    Likes Received:
    6

    Jun 22, 2010

    And no matter how I feel about a kid at a particular moment, I can always remember that somewhere there is a mom and a dad who just KNOW that the sun rises and sets by this child. They know he has a math test today, and they're praying he remembers how to factor. They know he's shy, and they're hoping and praying he makes friends. They know he got stuck on the homework, and pray that I can clear up the misunderstandng today.

    Before I had kids, I never really understand that viscerally. I knew it academically, but never really FELT it.
     
  11. UCLACareerChngr

    UCLACareerChngr Comrade

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2005
    Messages:
    303
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jun 22, 2010

    I agree with Mrs C...many times I have empathized with parents because of my own experience, but also have tried to get them to understand how my position was developed because I'm also a parent. For example, I had a kid who got in trouble and the PARENT came to apologize. I told him, "you don't need to apologize, he made the mistake, let him be in trouble, it'll be the best thing for him" and it was...

    This may sound weird, but I actually think that teaching and learning how to deal with the kids has made me a better parent...but possibly that's because they both happened at about the same time...?
     
  12. UCLACareerChngr

    UCLACareerChngr Comrade

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2005
    Messages:
    303
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jun 22, 2010

    oh, and my wife and I are strongly in the camp that "day care" in not necessarily the evil that many people make it out to be. We have been very lucky to send them to a great preschool, and I think you need to find a good one, but kids in day care (in my limited experience) can do just fine...it's about spending quality time with them when you are with them.
     
  13. flowerpower31

    flowerpower31 Comrade

    Joined:
    Aug 14, 2007
    Messages:
    372
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jun 22, 2010

    Thank you for this. I think, for me, I'm more concerned about myself when we eventually have kids and leaving them at day care. I'm gonna be a mess, and I know you eventually get over that after a while, but that's my biggest concern.
     
  14. flowerpower31

    flowerpower31 Comrade

    Joined:
    Aug 14, 2007
    Messages:
    372
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jun 22, 2010

    Thanks, everyone. I appreciate all your thoughts. In talking with others, too, I've realized that if you have to be a working mom, teaching is probably the most convenient career you could have.
     
  15. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2006
    Messages:
    27,534
    Likes Received:
    6

    Jun 22, 2010

    My 2 older kids were in daycare hwen they were little. It was the most amazing place!!!

    Of COURSE I did my homework. (those of you who know about my Disney research can imagine!!!) I found a place, believe it or not across the street from my school.

    Never once did I pop in there and not find some teacher, somewhere, playing on the floor with some child who didn't want to do what the class was doing. The director's office was up above the rest, in the center of a semi circle (think the spokes on a tire). So she could see every child in the place from her desk-- and I adored her!!! Security was superb! And every day the kids went out for a walk. The day care was located in the basement of a large professional building When the weather was bad, they took the kids upstairs into the atrium past the fountain (think "mini rain forest-- it was beautiful!!!)

    I never for a minute had to worry about my kids.

    Of course, it was EXPENSIVE-- $1,000 per month per child in 2000 when I took the 2 kids out. At that point, it simply wasn't worth it to work and give so much of my salary to daycare, and Brian was having ear infection issues anyway.

    But there are some amazing daycares out there-- you just need to do your homework!
     
  16. TeacherSandra

    TeacherSandra Enthusiast

    Joined:
    Oct 29, 2006
    Messages:
    2,305
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jun 22, 2010

    Yes, me too; that's very important.
     
  17. teacherheath

    teacherheath Companion

    Joined:
    Aug 13, 2009
    Messages:
    170
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jun 22, 2010

    THIS!!!!! And now that my oldest is in school himself, it's even more powerful!!!!!
     
  18. msmullenjr

    msmullenjr Devotee

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2009
    Messages:
    1,161
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jun 22, 2010

    I agree that being a mother has made me a better teacher in many ways.

    When my kids were very small, my sister was the babysitter and I felt very comfortable going to work. When they were older I found a day care that I was VERY happy with. Shop around, there are some great ones out there.

    I look forward to spending time with my kids at the end of my work day. It does not make me feel like I need a "kid break" to be a teacher. :)
     
  19. Blkjacq

    Blkjacq Companion

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2009
    Messages:
    123
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jun 22, 2010

    I taught for 2 years before having my first child. Then I was able to job-share and I've done that with 2 different teachers during the last 5 years. This was honestly the best of both worlds if it's possible for you. i saw my kids more than most parents and I got to keep up in the professional world too.

    Some years, I taught Mon, Tue and every other Wed. Some I taught every other day and this past year I was morning. It was easier to share in middle school than 3rd grade because we each had our own classes rather than one to share overall.

    Now I have 2 kiddos of my own and I'll be back to full time this year. My oldest will be in Kindergarten at my school and my 2 year old will be in daycare. Like they said before, jsut do your research and ask around. It'll be fine.
     
  20. FarFromHome

    FarFromHome Connoisseur

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2007
    Messages:
    1,857
    Likes Received:
    2

    Jun 23, 2010

    I've worried about the same thing. I don't have kids, but I have always thought I would like to take off time until they went to school. However, I don't know if we will have the money for me to stay home. Like everyone else said, I would just research the daycares to find the best one possible.
     
  21. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2006
    Messages:
    27,534
    Likes Received:
    6

    Jun 23, 2010

    Also, for the record, my kids are no longer in daycare. (they're 7, 10 and 12.)

    But I leave at 7 and get home around 4; the girls' bus arrives after 8 and school gets out at 3.

    When I returned to work 4 years ago, I emailed everyone I knew, asking if they could recommend a sitter. The mom of one of Brian's friends found us Helen. Helen is in her 50's, and has 2 adult kids. She's simply amazing. She gets to my house at 7, finiishes getting the kids ready, tidies up (though we've repeatedly told her she doesn't have to do that!) and puts the girls on the bus. Brian gets home at about 2:30; she's at my house before that so he isn't walking into an empty house. She picks up the girls at school and gets most of the homework done.

    Working doesn't mean abandoning your kids. It means you have to put in the time and effort to find the right arrangements. But it's certainly possible to do.
     
  22. demijasmom

    demijasmom Companion

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2010
    Messages:
    158
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jun 23, 2010

    I am a single parent so I no choice, I have to work. I would rather teach than any other job. My daughter's and I have summer's together, spring and winter breaks and where we live we may even a snow day or two!! Just because you work doesn't mean your a bad parent or that you are abandoning your children. (My daughters are 10 and 14 they make great helpers for decorating bulletin boards, taking them down etc.:):))
     
  23. Teacher Chele

    Teacher Chele Habitué

    Joined:
    Jul 3, 2007
    Messages:
    991
    Likes Received:
    1

    Jun 23, 2010

    Great thoughts here!!!! I also agree with PP's - I think I was a good teacher during my pre-son years, but wow how my outlook changed after I had my son!!! I feel like I am more sensitive to the needs of the kids and am much more effective with parents.

    With that said, I have seen teachers w/o kids who were amazing!!!! I work with several actually. I had A LOT of trouble getting pregnant and my heart used to ache when a parent of a student would ask if I had kids in a way that meant I couldn't possibly be a good teacher w/o kids of my own.
     
  24. flowerpower31

    flowerpower31 Comrade

    Joined:
    Aug 14, 2007
    Messages:
    372
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jun 23, 2010

    Thank you so much, everyone! It makes me happy to see these responses. =)
     
  25. Aussiegirl

    Aussiegirl Habitué

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2007
    Messages:
    840
    Likes Received:
    8

    Jun 23, 2010

    This is a second career for me, started as my youngest finished middle school. I have pondered this thought many times. My conclusion is that I wish I'd started teaching when my kids were little. My fledgling teaching career has helped me in my parenting. I loved my first career, but I think aside from the much lower salary, teaching would have been more beneficial for my family.
     
  26. Hoot Owl

    Hoot Owl Aficionado

    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2008
    Messages:
    3,888
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jun 24, 2010

    I stayed at home with my kids when they were small. If I hadn't I'd be retired now so I'm having to put four more years in. I loved being a stay at home mom, but if I had it to do over I think I'd gone back to work.

    Check on applying for a Family Leave option. When I first started teaching it was for a teacher who'd taken a year's maternity leave. I have several friends in other professions who never considered the time off and their kids turned out great.

    Like others have said it's a juggling act but doable for sure.
     
  27. Joyful!

    Joyful! Habitué

    Joined:
    May 5, 2009
    Messages:
    881
    Likes Received:
    211

    Jun 24, 2010

    Lots of great answers.

    I think that as a parent you have an empathy and an identification with the parents of the students of your class. You know what it has taken to have them arrive at school clean, rested, fed, dressed and ready to learn (read: I'm leaving in 5 minutes!!!! Brush your teeth!!!! Turn the car around because you forgot your shoes?????!!!! You know the drill :) ).

    I have had the blessing of having my own daughter as one of my students. (small school, 1 class for the grade, no choice). I would have to say that I enjoyed that year so much and that my daughter did too. She loved that experience. I loved it too. It was easy to transition from "teacher" to "mom" because we set up certain parameters. I never felt like I needed a kid break, but I do remember times being tired period. I don't think that will change whether your kids are in school or day care or in hiatus. Sometimes getting tired is just what it is - getting tired. That's when you take a nap, read a good book and order out dinner. :)

    I hope you find the right balance for you and for your family.
     
  28. txmomteacher2

    txmomteacher2 Enthusiast

    Joined:
    Jul 28, 2005
    Messages:
    2,034
    Likes Received:
    164

    Jun 24, 2010

    All of you make me feel like a bad parent. I know I am not but here are my feelings on the subject. I have 4 kids. The two older ones were in school when I started college back in 2000. The 3rd one was about to start school.(one year of daycare) I knew he would be ok he was a different child than the other two. He would survive without me being the greatest stay at home mom ever. THen my youngest came along in 2003. I was too far into college to stop so I finished my two degrees. Fast forward to this year. I teach the same grade my youngest is in, first grade. I lived, breathed and dreamed first grade. It was rather taxing on my brain because I couldn't get away from it. I taught it all day and then I had to "relive" it with my own daughter that night. Don't get me wrong I LOVE LOVE LOVE my daughter and I LOVE LOVE LOVE my job, there were just days when I needed a break from first grade stuff. I am so glad that she will be moving to another hallway and I can hear about different grade level stuff when I get home.
     
  29. BCPMWK

    BCPMWK Companion

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2005
    Messages:
    127
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jun 24, 2010

    I was a better parent when I worked. I love the kids, but I found myself to be much more patient with them when I had not been alone with them all day. Don't look at working as a bad thing, instead focus on the fact that your children will know you love them no matter what. Teaching is probably the best profession for a mom because you will have extended holiday time with them. My suggestion is to find a daycare that is "on your way" to work, and close to your work if at all possible. It will ease your morning stress, and you'll probably feel better that he/she is close by. Also, find a place that has sweet workers that care. I know that sounds obvious, but I've seen many of my co-workers who travel way out of their way to take their child to the popular daycare that promises to teach the kids five languages (or whatever) before first grade. Every morning is filled with the stress of getting out the door, driving through traffic, and worrying about what they need to have ready before their class arrives. If you find a place that loves the little ones, offers interesting activities, and will focus on making your baby happy, I think you can be happy about your choice. Most of it is YOUR mindset, the baby will be fine. By the way, my girls often volunteer at their old daycare because they loved it so much!
     
    Last edited: Jun 24, 2010

Share This Page

Members Online Now

Total: 354 (members: 1, guests: 329, robots: 24)
test