My daughter has started her first year of high school. She has always been the type of kid when I ask her, "How was school?" she tells me a lot. Lately she has been talking about one teacher that is intelligent and well liked by students. However she tells me he has cussed in his class.The first couple of times kids would laugh but now they don't, there use to it . Cussing accidently isn't a big deal but I think he feels it's no big deal. He lets kids ask him questions that he freely answers too honestly. Today a kid asked him if he does drugs he said that he has tried Ecstacy, pot, LSD etc.. I don't think it's any of the kids business to know this. Someone asked about if he ever had thoughts of a man. He has and said that "it is natural and it doesn't mean your gay. Everyone has these thoughts." I don't care about his past or personal views but I don't think he should share his personal life with kids. It's weird . He takes the time to answer all these questions. There were more but I think I've said enough. I belive in the chain of command but I don't know if and how I would mention this concern. What should I do?
Geesh...There are certain things that you just don't share with your students. My own students have asked me rather pointed questions along these lines, but I would never answer them specifically. Usually they get the "that is not an appropriate question for math class" line. I think I would schedule a meeting with the department chair or the AP. These types of discussions are clearly unprofessional and should be addressed by the administration.
Because he is so well liked by the kids, I have a concern that my daughter may be perceived as a tatle tale. Could I express my concerns of what my daughter has told me without my daughter's name being involved? I have never had to this before.
If you go to the AP, it is highly unlikely s/he would tell the teacher which parent voiced a concern. Usually, I would say to go to the teacher first, but if this person is unprofessional enough to talk about these types of subjects with his students, he may be unprofessional enough to say something like "SuzieJr. complained the last time we talked about something like this...." which could embarrass your daughter. I'm a big believer in letting kids know who I am as a person, not just their teachers, but my goodness, I would NEVER answer questions like the ones you described in your post.
I must agree with MrsR. If the AP is any kind of professional at all, the teacher will never know which parent complained.
If this teacher is answering all these personal questions and getting into discussions, when does he have time to actually teach lessons?? Is the teacher younger? If so, he probably feels that he is there is offer advice and share what he's discovered about how the world works - which is NOT what his job is. I am younger (and look really young too) so my high schoolers are really curious about me and try to ask me personal questions a lot, but I don't allow it. I'm one of the few teachers that are married, and they find that really interesting for some reason. It's not that I don't want to share, but that I don't have time to go off on a tangent of that sort, as I could never bring it back to topic! Plus, I know it's not really my place. What does the teacher teach and does he actually get much teaching done??
I answer personal questions all the time. I have tattoos and piercings and I always answer the kids honestly when they ask me about them. I didn't get any of them when I was underage and point out that its best to wait until your older to make these kind of decisions. When asked about drugs, I am honest. I have tried them when I was younger, but I didn't like them enough to keep doing them, or I wouldn't be a teacher. I have seen them ruin the lives of many of my friends, and I usually go into a story about a guy I went to elementary school with who was one of the biggest Crystal Meth dealers in Saskatchewan and how awful his life has become as a result. That said, I the cussing thing bothers me more then anything, because we are supposed to set an example - that's why I don't lie to my students, because I want them to be honest people. We all make mistakes, and the important thing is the we learn from them, not glorify them. I make mistakes and so will my students. I just try to learn from them, and help them learn from my mistakes. I guess I'd give him the benefit of the doubt. Plus, I don't know what your Union is like, but as a teacher in my province, even if I was a parent of a student, going over the teacher's head to the Principal or Vice-Principal is grounds to file a grievance with the Union. You MUST speak to the teacher first, and I would do that to protect my own behind if nothing else.
Ditto here. I'm younger and my students know it, although they don't know that I'm 22, only roughly 5 years older than my average student. But they're always trying to ask me persona questions to take me on a tangent. Generally, unless it can be tied in into the lesson (where did you take get that desktop picture? I got in Mexico when I was doing an immersion program. It's a picture of Dia de los muertos which we'll be studying in a few weeks), I tell them that "as interesting as my life is, its irrelevant to today's lesson.
This is weird and reeks of ego. I have to disagree with some of what has been said. I would go to admin., and immediately ask if the conversation would remain confidential. I would explain I have a legitimate concern, but I don't want my daughter singled out among her peers. Then I would tell the admin. what your daughter is telling you. Ask the questions: Why is this teacher using class time to tell personal opinions and activities? Is cussing by the teachers acceptable in the school? etc. Express that you are concerned that 1)the teacher has been hired to teach _____________, not to use the time to relate personal experiences and 2)the teacher is well liked and could have influence over the kids that could be negative, such as the swearing and drug use. This should not be allowed. It is unprofessional. I think the teacher is making the mistake that many young teachers make, which is thinking that they are the most important thing in the classroom and in their students' lives (spoken as one who was once Young).
I had a teacher like this in High School - all the kids loved him. But, looking back, he directly supported a lot of bad choices that I made. He didn't buy me drugs, but he'd talk about them with a knowing grin. We all thought he was so "hip". Now I look back and see him as a major bad influence in my life.
Here's my issue. In my Union, we have a specific Code of Proffesional Conduct. As teachers, regardless of what school we work at, we CANNOT go above another teacher's head - EVER. It doesn't matter what school or division they work in. If I complained about a fellow union member to their superior without first talking to them about the issue, I could lose my teacher's certificate. So you may not approve of what he does, or what I do, but I would talk to the teacher first, based on that.
Canadian, As a parent AND a teacher, I would have a real problem with that policy, so perhaps it is good that I don't live in Canada. When I am wearing my parent hat, I am advocating for my child. If I truly believed that going to the teacher would have a negative effect on my child, I believe it is my RIGHT and RESPONSIBILITY to go to an administrator if necessary. Now, for most things that I could think of, of course I would go to the teacher first, just as I would like parents to come to me first with a question or concern. However, in a case like Susie's, I would not feel comfortable with how such an unprofessional teacher would respond.
Mrs.R, You are so right. I would go directly to an administrator. I would explain the situation. I wouldn't put my child in the situation of being singled out a by a teacher who has already (if the story is true) shown that he does not use good professional judgement. If he is young and just making an honest mistake, doing this will be the best thing for him. The administrator can talk to him, and set him straight before something dreadful happens. Right now it is a problem that can easily be taken care of with a few well-chosen words from admin.
I was prepared to more or less blow off the idea of cussing in the classroom. However, what you posted was far and above a few cuss words here and there. I agree that you should go to an administrator and try to prevent this teacher from expanding on his personal choices. Being a good teacher means being a responsible role model.
It wasn't in HS and the teacher didn't actually cuss, but in 6th grade I had a World History teacher that would "cuss" when he was mad or the chalk broke. He would hold his hands in front of his mouth and say "blankity, blank, blank" instead of actually cussing. He wasn't well liked, we laughed at him. Looking back, it was definitely unprofessional of him. I agree with the advice given so far. Go to admin, ask that your daughter's name not be used, and let the admin know what your daughter said.
In Saskatchewan ANY administrator would ask if you'd spoken to the teacher abour your concerns before taking it farther. End of story, whether you are a teacher or parent, you are REQUIRED to approache the teacher before going over their head. You may think that its stupid, but it has protected me in the past (a kid who asked ME to strip for him had parents who tried to sue my school) and I stand by it. Have the balls to stand up for what you believe in.
I don't think the parent was saying that this was stupid; I think the parent was concerned that if the teacher was already this unprofessional to be discussing these things in class, that he may also very unprofessionally say something in class about her daughter being the one to have had an issue with things. The parent doesn't want her daughter to be singled out in front of her classmates. I'd think the parent would have the right to approach the administrator. They can always ask her to speak with the teacher first, but I think she has a valid concern in wishing to bypass the teacher initially.
I don't think it is a matter of somebody "having balls." The parent is worried her child will be singled out by this teacher based on the information the parent has at this time. While your policy in Saskatchewan is different, no such policy exists here in this case. Even if it did, I would say there are times to disregard the policy. If my child said a teacher was sexually abusing her, I certainly wouldn't go into to see the teacher to have a "chat" about it. If my child told me her teacher was selling cigarettes or beer to students after class, and I had no reason to believe my child wasn't trustworthy, I wouldn't go to the teacher to ask if it was true. I'd go to the administrator, and let him or her figure out what is true and deal with the matter appropriately. (Obviously, in the first case, I'd include police.) I also hate when parents go over a teacher's head because 95% of the time, the problem can be dealt with directly with the teacher -- but in this case, the poster has a concern that speaking with the teacher will make the problem worse for her child. I don't think the poster's concerns should be dismissed with a statement like "Have some balls..." I agree that parents "should" go to a teacher first as a matter of courtesy and respect, sometimes there are reasons not to.
Raneydae - as Union members the Admin would simply ask the parent if they had first approached the teacher, and would take NO further action if they hadn't/
Rainey disregarding policy would result in YOU LOSING your LIVELYHOOD. UNLESS the issue is criminal. That's another can of worms, and we aren't talking about htat. We are talking about a teacher who overshares. Different issue alltogether.
I agree that most times you should talk with the teacher first. I however, just talked with my child's principal about a teacher. I also talked to the teacher. But the adminstration needed to know. How would I know that the teacher would tell the administration something that would make her/him look bad? And in this case it was a safety issue and admin need to know what was going on.
I think a parent has the right to keep it private who "told" to protect their child. It would be different if it was an accusation or the parent was asking that the teacher be fired. She simply wants the teacher to stop. It sounds like he is a good teacher with bad judgement that needs to be told explicitly to stick to his job and be a good example.
Tasha - they don't have that "right" here in Saskatchewan. If you want to "tell" on a teacher for something you MUST bring it up with the individual teacher before taking it to the administration. No administrator I have ever worked with will listen to a parent complaint that is not about crime or safety without having it first brought up with the individual teacher.
I have a parent mad at me for sharing about my personal life, but it is mainly things about my hubby being deployed to prepare them for days I am not available in the evening, or days I will be missing in March. Being a new teacher I miss extra for professional development, and I try to prepare them for all the days I will be out because they hate it when I am gone. She also had a problem with the fact I told them I would not grade papers that were late one night when my DH was returning from a month's long training in MS. Granted I teach Elementary students, but I know if there was any chance I was sharing more she would bypass the Principal and go straight to the school board. I suggest talking to someone in the school, find out if you need to speak to the teacher first, or if you may speak directly to AP or Principal.
hmm...I do know that kids will blow stories out of proportion. Not saying that that's what the OP's kid is doing, but that is probably part of the reason behind the policy of taking it to the teacher first. I mean, in teaching, all you really have is your reputation and many students are aware that they can destroy that with one little lie. I kind of agree with the policy of unless it's criminal or safety issue, take it up with the teacher first. This past six weeks, I had a set of parents e-mail the principal about what they felt was unfair grading on my part. The principal immediately kicked it back to me basically saying "handle it" because he had more important things to do. It was neither criminal nor a safety issue and it was something I could have easily resolved had they asked me to explain the situation. On top of it all, the kid was flat out lying to cover his tail. Had the parents come to me, I would have told them that, but instead they would immediately over my head to my head principal (not my mentor teacher, not my department head, not my assistant principal, but to the HEAD principal) and still ended up having to deal with me. As a teacher who only has 8 weeks on the job, that was offensive. I understand being concerned about your child, but I'm always open to parent communication and I generally resolve any issues presented to me that same day. So the fact that they didn't give me a chance offended me.
You should go to the admin about this. HS kids are impressionable- especially since this teacher is 'well-liked'...What content area is he teaching? I can't imagine that these conversations are coming up in a math class... Go to the admin, tell them you do not want your daughter's name connected with this at all but you have concerns about the conversation topics that you have heard are happening in this teacher's classroom.
I had a class that told me they liked to ask their previous years teacher a lot of different questions to get him off the topic and they wouldn't have to do much work.He would go off on tangents and the lesson would be forgotten. I would speak to the teacher,before I went to the AP, and let him know your concerns.It might give him something to be concerned about.If you are still concerned then I would go further. i
Don't get me wrong, I have had lots of teachers take birds walks during teaching. I see nothing wrong with doing that once in a while. In fact it helped getting to know them personally. What I do have a problem is the content he is discussing. He teaches science but it seems that he is spending more time talking about himself. If he were a sub I probably would have ignored it, or if it kept happening I would tell the teacher that they should hire a different sub. But this is a teacher! I'm a teacher and parent as well. By the way my daughter told me today that another kid said she was lucky to have him because the other teacher is hard and boring. I agree that in most matters I would talk to the teacher but in this case I don't feel comfortable. It is not about having "balls " like another poster mentioned.
Yes but it is not his first year teaching. I can't believe that I would be the only parent to complain. I don't want him fired, I just want him to be reminded that kids are impressionable, like another poster mentioned.
SuzieQ, your daughter's teacher is revealing too much info about himself. Just because kids ask about a teacher's drug use, sexual preferences, etc., that doesn't mean they should tell them. Even if a teacher did any of the things the kids are asking, they should either say NO or WE'RE NOT HERE TO DISUCSS THAT. Cussing isn't good either. If a teacher slips & apologizes, that's one thing, but cussing on a regular basis is no good. I would send him a friendly email or letter asking him to tone it down or eliminate it entirely since these are impressionable young minds. Keep a copy of the letter or email that you sent. Then, after a while, ask your daughter if he's changed. If he didn't stop significantly, talk to the principal or VP about it.
I'm not saying I agree or disagree with this practice, but I know of no one in adminstration that would refuse to discuss an issue with a parent if they had not first talked to the teacher. I think administrators understand that parents are not always comfortable doing that, for several reasons.
Fear of retribution should ALWAYS be an exception to the chain of command. If canadian law doesn't protect its people from that, then I'm really glad I don't live there.
In Canada, education is provincially mandated. Therefore educational laws/practices in Saskatchewan could be different from those in Manitoba (where I teach) and Ontario, etc. We also have a Code of Professional Practice that states that, as a teacher, if I have an issue with another teacher it is my responsibility to take it up with that teacher first. If that does not solve the problem, then I am to make that teacher aware that I am taking it further before I can do so. I think that Canadian Gal may be looking at it from that standpoint...that one TEACHER has a problem with another, in which case I agree with her. However, I also think that in this case OP is clearly acting as a parent instead of a teacher, which completely changes things.
I get that a lot too...kids asking me inappropriate questions because of my age...from drugs to sex, I've gotten those questions just as a sub. I just shake my head, and keep it moving. I do clue them in on personal things about my life, but nothing inappropriate or that I would be ashamed of but I do cuss...not every other sentence, or even every class, but from time to time. I'm going to keep that to a minimum now that I'm a full time teacher.
I agree with everything said about the need to go first to the teacher - except in this case. This is a case of a popular teacher talking about inappropriate things during time he should be teaching - and you are paying his salary - and if it got out that your daughter told, the other kids could and probably would treat her very badly. And that could be the end of her sharing things with you. Your daughter is more important than a chain of command, and this teacher is totally out of line. Stick to the curriculum. Go to admin. and make sure the conversation is confidential. The admin could easily call in a few responsible kids here and there and ask about these specific things being discussed in class, then talk to the teacher from there. Your daughter being protected is first concern here. I have been in the position myself and it has been agonizing in some cases, knowing "too much," but I always had to come to the conclusion that my daughter was my first priority, other kids a second priority, teachers and chain of command way down the list from those 2.
