It's because career-oriented people don't have time for a lot of kids. Usually society's impression of people who have a lot of kids is that they're uneducated & have nothing better to do than pop out kids. NO OFFENSE TO ANYONE FROM A LG FAMILY & I DIDN'T SAY I THOUGHT THAT, I SAID SOCIETY. Teacher or not, I'd love to just have one pair of boy/girl twins, then I would have one of each gender. Two at the most would be enough for me & they'd be the same age & grow up together. Plus, I'd raise them to be close. I have a good chance of having twins because if I marry & have kids by my bf, he's an identical twin & my aunt had twin boys, plus my dad had twin siblings.
msswm, on the whole adoption thing: I have been known to forget that Brian is adopted. (Note: he's Korean, we're Irish/Italian-American. We don't look a lot alike.) When he got his MMR vaccine as a child, he had an unpleasant reaction to it-- high fever and stuff. When Julia (who is biological) had hers due, I asked that the pediatrician postpone it until a vacation-- being siblings, I assumed she was at higher risk for the same reaction as Brian. The doctor stopped, smiled and just waited for me to remember that, though siblings, they're not biologically related. Julia had no higher a risk for a reaction than anyone else. Then we both had a good laugh at my expense On a related note, Brian stated yesterday (I forget why) that he doesn't have a birth certificate because he was born in Korea. I told him that he most certainly did, and that sometime this weekend we would go through the file cabinet in the basement and I would show it to him.
I ended up in your same boat, but now I'm 47 and missed the opportunity completely. Unfortunately, my husband and I can't afford to adopt, but we may become Foster parents in a few years if we can move to a larger apartment. You do still have time left - even to adopt! I had too many people telling me I would NOT regret staying childless ... my doctor, my sister ... I wish I hadn't taken their word for it.
I have to protest that "pretty" should not be a factor! I know many wonderful parents who are not pretty on the outside, yet ultra-beautiful on the inside. It hurts my heart to think that you'd judge these people that I love dearly by their outward appearance.
For some reason I'm remembering a similar thread here long ago....with similar wording...smart and pretty...
Well, I'm ugly, but my kids are great-looking. My first two are, anyway. When the third was born I thought, "Oh, well I guess I had to have one ugly baby!"* :lol: Hopefully, the two good-looking kids will balance out my karma with the one ugly one. I do have the issue of my second being kind of dopey, though.** * "ugly baby" does things like spontaneously learn Korean (his third language) from kids on the playground, though, so I'm thinking he'll be okay. ** "dopey kid" is somehow one of the more popular children in his class, even though he barely speaks English, and makes friends instantly regardless of language. So I'm thinking he'll be okay, too. :wub::wub::wub: edit: Oh, yeah. . . I don't think Hoot Owl meant that as a requirement, just as a positive statement that teachers are often pretty. And they are. Part of prettiness is putting yourself together well, and teachers often do this better than average.
Not judging a soul, and I didn't intend on hurting your heart with the "pretty" as a prerequisite. I know plenty of people who aren't pretty and are dynamic parents. I'm not saying have 13 kids or anything like that. But have you noticed that smart, pretty people don't have enough children? So smart pretty people should have more kids? What about smart unattractive people? I'm being facetious but I'm just not sure what to make of this remark. I'm being silly & facetious too, & I'm possibly tainted because of my location. I'm just see too many kids having kids and then trying to be parents to them. In my area we have an over abundance of single moms who are 21,22, & 23 y.o with three or four kids already. Every wedding that I go to I tell the new couple to be sure to have plenty of children because we have too many incompetent women/girls having too many babies and we must have some balance.Do you really say this at weddings? Yes, I do, most laugh with me and it's meant to be funny. I think teachers are the most naturally gifted parents of all. Why? Naturally I'd say that since my world consists of teachers. If I was in banking, I'd probably say that about banker moms. But, most have a natural tendancy for nurturing, adequate time off to really be a "mom", and they're generally setteled in a career, take this in to account the teenage moms I see whose only aspiration in life is to draw a check and have more babies. Teacher's kids generally are respectful, are ready to learn, and are ready to be achievers. I've seen plenty of kids who don't care if they learned to read, do math, or do anything. I've had teachers tell me they have had kids who told them they didn't need an education because they knew how to work the system. I did my part the best I could. I could only have two children but would have loved to have three. Gee, I really hope they are smart and pretty... I'm extremely blest; they are beautiful inside and out. Not that physical beauty would have made a difference to me. If they'd been born with three eyes, they'd be mine and I'd be crazy about them. They're decent, honest, hard working, tax paying young adults. I know they're expensive, but what greater gift can we give society?ummm, helping others, world peace??? Good answer. Gee. It was a slow night here when I posted this. I thought the topic would make interesting posting.
Oh I didn't take it PERSONALLY, I am not just 'put together well', I'm downright FABULOUS... I just don't like what the statement implies...
Put together haha. RIGHT. I can hardly get out of the house. Hey I just started wearing make up like once a week. I do try to iron my cloths.
Come on czacza you know "the pretty people" is a cliché A cliché (from French, pronounced [klɪ'ʃe]) or cliche is a phrase, expression, or idea that has been overused to the point of losing its intended force or novelty, especially when at some time it was considered distinctively forceful or novel. The term is most likely to be used in a negative context. It is frequently used in modern culture to reference an action or idea that is expected or predictable based on a prior event.
AMEN! God put those kids in your family! I have a friend and her and her husband went through heck too trying to adopt. Went through several losses "miscarage" before the doctor said she could not get prego. The little girl they have now is so heaven sent.
I'm sure it's all part of your ineffable charm. My dad was a teacher, actually. Well, sort of -- he taught music. I tend to think he did okay raising me.
Writer's Block: I know just what you mean. I became pregnant almost immediately after Brian's arrival from Korea, after 9 years of trying and one Mis. People told me it was because I was more relaxed. We can each believe what we want, but I'm sure that we weren't going to have any biological kids until after Brian was here. We weren't just meant to be parents, but parents to this particular child. So apparently we just started trying 9 years too early I have an uncle who thinks I'm Mother Theresa for adopting Brian. Honestly, our motives were not altruistic at all... we wanted a child and we got one. And,( while he's currently grounded for a week,) I would hate for him to ever hear one of those comments. I would hate for him to think that becoming his parents required any more sacrifice or kindheartedness than becoming the parents of his sisters. Does that make sense?
Alice, that child was meant to be yours from the time of conception! Adopted kids are as big of blessings as biological children. My sister has 2 adopted kids which were very high risk because both of the mothers were tested positive for cocaine use and admitted to having used it during their entire pregnancies. Anyhow, they're 15 & 13 y.o. and awesome kids. They were meant to be her children. Do we even think about them being adopted? They're ours, the whole family, just as much as any biological kids would be.
Alice...I totally get what you're saying. I don't have adopted kids of my own, but I'm an "adoptive sister". Each of my siblings came into my family in different ways with different stories, but each was meant to have a certain mom and dad...those saints I call my parents. There are many ways God can give us a family.
Alice, I can't begin to tell you how many people have said to us "Now that you adopted, watch...you'll get pregnant!" My newest response: Really??? I didn't know that adoption is a pre-cursor to pregnancy...hmmm. I also don't like when people ask me if I know their real mother. Ummm, YES! I DO know her--it's me!!! I will never have a biological child, but like I said before, my children were born into my family just like a bio child. Someone else did the pushing, got varicose veins, morning sickness, weight gain, hemmoroids (sp?), and everything else---I get the joy of these two girls growing up in my home with my values, my morals, my teachings, etc. Someone once said to me, "Parenting is not about the origin of the child." It's perfect.
I know a family from church and they had 2 daughters naturally. Well I don't know how it all played out but they now have an adopted little boy. Precious has can be he is 6now Kindergarden(they got him at a few weeks old). His oldest sister is a senior in highschool and his younger sister is a junior. I forget 99% of the time that he is adopted. His dad has really tanned skin and momma his as pail as can be. The girls are pail white like mom is and he is as dark as daddy. He looks just like his daddy too.
Ok. I know what the stereotypes say but you really have to keep in mind that they are just that...stereotypes. I slightly take offense to the teenage mother remark. I am/was one. I got preggo with my daughter a month after I turned 16 and I just so happened to be with a great guy who truly loved me and didn't run out on me. We got married and had our daughter who is now 6 and 1/2 and is very smart well beyond her maturity. I am a very good mother and we have never received any government help except for WIC. We have now have 2 beautiful kids and own our house and are pretty well off for our age.I am 23 and my husband 25 now but I dropped out of HS and got my GED 2 yrs later, I got a full paid scholarship to college and and now in 3 honors fraternity and I will be graduating with my bachelors in may to be a teacher and I did it while working full time being a mom and a wife and 2 of my semesters of college I was pregnant with my son and still had a full load of classes, I have a 3.75 gpa and I would not change my life if I had the choice because my daughter was just the push I needed in my life to make me achieve more(God has his way of pushing me and making sure that I continue to grow and take on more, when I get comfortable in my life another challenge falls in my lap,we never grow as people when we are content) . I know several other girls who got preggo and are doing very well for themselves and are very good parents who contribute. NOW I DO KNOW SOME WHO ARE THE REASON THAT THIS STEREOTYPE IS WHAT IT IS!!!! but I just hope that as teachers especially you hs and middle school teachers if you ever have a student get pregnant them don't completely write them off just stress to them how much better their life will be if they finish their education and that may be the best gift of security you can give their new baby if they have decided to be teenage mothers. No Girls should have to endure the looks and remarks that get made to girls who have just made a mistake.I have had older women in the grocery store tell me to my face that they pity my child because I will not be able to give them a steady family (this happened a couple of times when I was 17) and I told them that my child had a father who tucked her in to her bed every night and she never wants for anything because she has everything she needs and so much more and that they needed to save their pity for someone who really needed it. these people who continually judge these girls based on a stereotype is one of the main reasons they turn to abortion because they worry about what other people will think when they see them pregnant because they are still in mindset of everybody is judging them. We should support these girls in making a healthy decision of if they are not ready to give the baby up for adoption because as we have seen on here there are plenty of people who are willing to adopt a child. sorry this is long but it is a topic near and dear to my heart. I have a cousin who was adopted and I think his life has been so much better than it would have been if he hadn't been and I love him so much.
...a little off topic but a teacher from another district today told me she teaches 'seasonal changes' by having her class 'adopt a tree'...they go out every season and record the changes they see in the tree, they write about their tree, draw pictures of their observation....A parent went to the school board and complained about the use of the term 'adopt' in reference to trees because she felt it demeaned the value of adopting a child so the board said the teachers can't use the term anymore...
OMG HOW &^%$% PC can we get I think it would be a honorable thing I am not a green peace person But what a way to embrace the earth! I am a shop teacher I cut wood AND I replant (Kind of like FFA) The Parents who did that are (My favorite name) IDIOTS!
Oh, pulleeease!!! My adopted son has adopted a dog, a penguin (from Club Penguin) and a bazillion adopted Webkinz. He also adopted a Build a Bear. Mamma needs a hobby outside her helicopter!!!
This reminds me of the movie Idiocracy... In the beginning, they are talking about how smart, educated people wait to have this degree, and get this job, and get this house, and before you know it they are all dried up. lol. Then they show the poor, uneducated who are having babies in their teens, and in the time this one educated, smart couple has had no babies, this poor uneducated family has had children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. This is a fictional movie, but I often wonder if there isn't some truth to this.
I just found out that a cousin from the redneck and often unacknowledged branch of my family is a grandfather now...he's only 5 years older than me...and I'm 32.
I think we all have a plan, and fortunately for Brian, you were his plan (and he was yours). Maybe a window will open up and I will either have a child, or the opportunity to adopt. I would love it either way! Although I didn't start this post, I am glad someone did. I have much more hope of starting a family (even though that's not the topic of the post!).
He was 16 when his oldest was born...it's that child who's wife had a baby this week. At least my cousin was man enough to stick around for his kid...and his kid, while only 20 (almost 21, next month) did it in the "right" order...they've been married for a little over a year. The kid is an auto mechanic and his wife was waitressing while going to nursing school. They're actually in fair shape financially, and the wife plans on returning to school next term. I suppose it's not so bad when you really think about it.
We would have adopted again had we not had the girls, so it worked out a bit cheaper for us this way Lucky for us we were in that magic 2% But I still maintain that it had nothing to do with "relaxing." After all, I'm assuming that everyone is relaxed and optimistic when they start trying to plan a family. If it were all as simple as relaxing, no one would struggle with infertility. It happened for us because we had to wait for Brian to be born. Good point though-- you NEVER hear THAT story!
It's funny. I always say that Brian had better be the best kid in his classes, since his is always going to be the first name the teacher learns. His first name is Irish. His last name is Italian. His face (and middle name, should it come up) is Korean. The teacher is going to see his face, think "That's Brian??" and know exactly who he is from Day 1.
If the teacher is familiar with Koreans at all, it will probably be more of a surprise that his last name isn't Kim or Park than that his first name is Brian. Koreans in America (for some reason, particularly boys) frequently have an English first name. When I lived in a heavily Korean area, however, my son had 5 classmates whose last names were Kim -- none related.
I'm thinking the teacher will read the name, and look for an Irish-Italian face, and see my son's smile instead
