Teacher vs Mom.. torn

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by puff5655, Jan 19, 2018.

  1. puff5655

    puff5655 Cohort

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    Jan 19, 2018

    I decided a couple months ago that I want to take next year off from teaching to stay home with my daughter. She is 14 months now and it kills me to leave her every morning. I feel like I'm missing out on so much! Money would be tight but we could swing it, and my principal said there will be a job waiting for me whenever I want to come back to work.

    But as contract time is approaching, I'm feeling sadder and sadder about leaving my job. I have been teaching 10 years and I LOVE IT! Plus I love my colleagues and am afraid I'll feel left out of the "teaching community" here.

    So torn. I keep telling myself, I have many more years to teach, but my baby will only be a baby once. But it's still hard. I didn't realize before I had my baby how hard this would be. :-(

    Can anyone sympathize?
     
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  3. Upsadaisy

    Upsadaisy Moderator

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    Jan 19, 2018

    I think this is the hardest decision any parent can make. I say follow your heart. The job will wait for you (awesome), but many of your baby's moments won't. At the end of your career, which decision would you regret?
     
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  4. ChildWhisperer

    ChildWhisperer Groupie

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    Jan 19, 2018

    Totally agree ^
    There will ALWAYS be children to teach, but your baby is only a baby once!
    When I have kids, I plan on staying home with them too, until our youngest starts school, then I'll go back to work while they're in school.
    But I fully intend to be a SAHM from the day they are born.
    If you really want to continue teaching, you could look into teaching ESL online. There are several companies now since it's getting popular. I've been looking into it / doing my research before applying! Looks like many former teachers/SAHMs do it
     
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  5. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    Jan 19, 2018

    I was home for 10 years with my kids; I started subbing the year that my son was in Grade 4. I have never regretted taking that time.
     
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  6. Peregrin5

    Peregrin5 Maven

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    Jan 19, 2018

    I don't plan on having kids ever but if your family can swing it financially go for it! The teacher I filled in for last year took off a year after having her kid, and when I left it looked like she was going to take off the following year too. But she still popped by for events or just to visit. You might even be able to work in some other capacity that allows you to still be involved in your school but spend more time with your child, like running a one or two hour after school club a few times a week.
     
  7. CherryOak

    CherryOak Companion

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    Jan 19, 2018

    I can totally sympathise. I had never thought I would stay at home, but when they came, I realllllllly wanted to. So, I am. Few regrets. Not none, but few.

    That said, IF you're saying you want to change your mind and keep working, that's fine, too. I wish it was easier to really have it both ways!
     
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  8. Danny'sNanny

    Danny'sNanny Connoisseur

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    Jan 19, 2018

    I’ve been home since my son was 9 months. I sub 1-2 days a week which is a nice balance.
    We have baby 2 coming this spring. DH was laid off a few months ago, and so I will probably need a full time position next year. I am so sad about missing all the cuddle time and baby moments. Buuuut I really love and miss teaching.
     
  9. Backroads

    Backroads Aficionado

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    Jan 19, 2018

    I'd take it off if it's feasible for your family!
     
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  10. puff5655

    puff5655 Cohort

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    Jan 19, 2018

    Thanks for the support everyone. That's true, I can find ways to volunteer and be involved in other ways. And I agree CherryOak I wish I could have it both ways! Wish I could bring my baby to school with me. =P
     
  11. vickilyn

    vickilyn Multitudinous

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    Jan 20, 2018

    It helps if you have some guidelines in mind, benchmarks that let you know baby needs you less, and it won't be devastating to reenter the profession. At some point, unless there is another baby, this child will actually benefit by more socialization, independence, and learning from their own experiences. Those are great times to consider reentering as a teacher. Depending on how tight money is, and whether or not that creates conflict in the home, staying home until the child needs to exert their own independence seems logical. If "a little tight" becomes a major source of conflict, that becomes another factor that may need to be seriously considered. There comes a time, IMO, when I think it is inspiring for our children to witness our struggles and successes to balance obligations - I learned to be a multitask-er by watching my mother, so I am familiar with this concept. For now, follow your heart, within reason, and with a plan.
     
    Last edited: Jan 20, 2018
  12. Missy

    Missy Aficionado

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    I was in a different career than teaching at the time, but I left to stay home with our two daughters, and I have never regretted it for a moment.
    Good luck with your decision.
     
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  13. Ima Teacher

    Ima Teacher Maven

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    Jan 20, 2018

    I don't know anyone who ever regretted taking time for their children.
     
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  14. geoteacher

    geoteacher Habitué

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    I took 10 years off to raise my two children. I started subbing again when my daughter entereed 1st grade. Do I regret it? Not for a minute. Once you are home for awhile, you will find that life develops a different rhythm. That being said, you need to follow your heart and do what is right for your family.
     
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  15. txmomteacher2

    txmomteacher2 Enthusiast

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    Jan 22, 2018

    From my own point of view, I was a better mom to my kids when I am working. I am fulfilled as a person. Please look out for you as well as your child. Your child needs a happy Mom, whatever that means for you. I know for me, I am much happier working and being a Mom than I ever was just being a Mom. Just my opinion! My two oldest I stayed home with. My two youngest, I worked. We all turned out fine.
     
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  16. puff5655

    puff5655 Cohort

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    Jan 22, 2018

    I certainly understand the different perspectives. I am the type of person that gets overwhelmed easily. Coming home in the evening to a baby who wants my attention all evening (understandable) while trying to get all sorts of chores done, does not make me a happy mom, personally. It just stresses me out. Same reason we are a one-and-done family. I know my limits and I love my daughter but could not handle another.
     
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  17. txmomteacher2

    txmomteacher2 Enthusiast

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    Jan 22, 2018

    Then your thought of not teaching is certainly understandable!! Good luck to you whatever you decide.
     
  18. puff5655

    puff5655 Cohort

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    Jan 23, 2018

    I think I would feel differently if I knew she were attending an amazing daycare center and getting everything she needs socially, emotionally, cognitively. But there is only one daycare center here that is so-so (high turnover, no outside time, etc.) and it's hard to find a good in-home provider. One of the downsides of living in a small town. :-/
     

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