Teacher-student rapport questions/discussion

Discussion in 'General Education' started by riverdance85, Oct 23, 2014.

  1. riverdance85

    riverdance85 Rookie

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    Oct 23, 2014

    Have you ever had a student stop liking you? I haven't changed anything about the way I teach since the beginning of the year and I don't play favorites.

    Is being too nice a bad thing, too?


    What about the ones that think they're smarter than you and try at every chance to correct you? I have a student that does that to me all the time. Drives me nuts!!! I've already called him out for being rude. He comes across as if he likes me (says hello), but like I said he thinks that I always mess up and tries to correct my work when I know what I'm doing!!!

    I also have some young ladies (who get straight A's in my class) that only react with me in class. They never say hello back when I see them in the hall. They also think they're smarter than me. How should I continue my interactions with them? I don't think they like me:/ I even caught one of them 'waving me off' as if I wasn't wanted in their presence. I simply asked her, "could I help you?" and gave her a look. My, what disrespect! Is there something that I should consider thinking about when dealing with freshman girls?

    Now, it is a possibility that they are smarter than me, but I've already talked to them about correcting me in front of class. They do it sometimes, now.

    Another issue I have is that today, one of my former students visited and told me how she enjoyed my class, but she also told me how other students from our class got frustrated with me. I felt pretty bad about that! I tried hard to reach out to them... but at the same time, they still had to do work in my class (and they never wanted to do it!). Now, these students are with a new foreign language teacher who makes them work just as hard and my former student says they (for the most part) treat her better than me. That hurt! Any tips or similar experiences?

    Overall, this is a way better year than my first two. So now, I'm dealing with continued disrespect.

    Thanks in advance.
     
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  3. Peregrin5

    Peregrin5 Maven

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    Oct 23, 2014

    Don't let it get to you. They're kids, and they sometimes act mean. If it crosses the line of disrespect stop it immediately. But don't worry so much about whether they like you or not.

    Nobody's first few years are fantastic. Kids will almost always be frustrated with a first year teacher. You just don't have your craft honed yet at that point. Just vow to be a better teacher the next year.

    I certainly had a lot more kids come back to visit me and tell me how awesome my class was my second year than in my first year.

    I think you should just focus on improving your craft, remember that you are the adult, and you don't need their acceptance as a friend, then you'll be fine. Do what you can to present yourself as a person to be respected. If you make a lot of mistakes it's hard for a teacher to do that, so try to limit the amounts of errors you make. If it's only a few and you accept your mistakes with grace it's a lot easier.

    If a student is continually correcting me, that would be disrespectful (especially if he wasn't right), but if a student corrects me here and there, and I admit my mistake and move on, that produces a lot more respect than punishing the student for correcting me.

    It seems like your issues are a little complex. I wish you the best of luck with them.
     
  4. Linguist92021

    Linguist92021 Phenom

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    Oct 23, 2014

    To the OP: yes to everything you said, it all happens, and there is a perfect explanation for everything.
    - kids who stop liking you: teenagers are very interesting. They make quick judgements, and they often like / dislike someone for the strangest things. You may have said one thing one time that the student misunderstood and misinterpreted and he decided that that he doesn't like you, respect you, etc. It happened to me many times. You can't worry about that. I honestly don't care if some students don't like me, I can't please everyone. If no one liked me, I think that would be an issues, but most of them do so it's ok.

    - kids that think they're smarter than others, including me. Oh yes, many times. I teach alt ed, so most of the time the Caucasian kids are academically higher than the Latino or Afr. American kids. Not because they're smarter, but they probably missed less school. (I observed this at various schools) They first realize they're higher than the others, and it's only a matter of time before they feel superior, and start criticizing me. My simple answer to them was that I proved to them that they don't know everything. At times I simply told them, that they're disrespectful and are awfully arrogant and it needs to stop. They're just working on their high school diploma but I have been in school longer than they have been alive. That usually shut them up.

    - the kids that don't interact with you outside of class: so what? They do what they have to in class, no one says they have to like you or talk to you outside of it. Most likely they ignore you due to peer pressure, it's not cool to talk to the teacher or be a teacher's pet. Especially if they're freshman, they're trying very hard to fit in. Don't worry about it.

    - getting your feelings hurt by student comments. Don't let that happen. Just like those kids who got frustrated with you, there were kids who were frustrated with other classes but loved you. I know how you feel though, but I got used to this. A lot of my students make comments that just seems to test me, they want to know what hurts my feelings, how I react, and half of the time I don't know why they say things. Ignore it.
     
  5. P Chang

    P Chang Companion

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    Oct 23, 2014

    Most classrooms have a set of rules. One of the rules should be Praise In Public, Correct In Private, or something along those lines, and should apply to the teacher as well as the students. I don't think your students would appreciate you pointing out their errors (on quizzes, tests, essay papers, etc) to them in front of the whole class, and they should not be doing that to you.

    Obviously the beginning of the new school year is the best time to go over the rules, but perhaps it's not too late in the year to incorporate that into your classroom?

    As for students liking or not liking you, I wouldn't worry much about that. I don't recall reading any teacher job description saying you have to be friends with all your students.

    Oh…and never admit they're smarter than you. They have not been through four years of college. They have not gone through the process of becoming certified teachers, they do not have the life experiences you have, etc. That's not to say you cannot admit a mistake, but a mistake here and there doesn't equal a lack of knowledge.
     
  6. Linguist92021

    Linguist92021 Phenom

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    Oct 23, 2014

    Oh I'm not saying to point out the mistakes on essays and quizzes. But when an arrogant student thinks he's smarter than everyone, including his teacher and disruptively and disrespectfully mocks him, a little reality check doesn't hurt.
     
  7. P Chang

    P Chang Companion

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    Oct 23, 2014

    I agree with you. My post was written to the OP in regards to her students maybe pointing out she might have done something wrong. They should criticize in private, just as she would do the same with them (rather than in front of the whole class).

    Of course, if a student wants to show his or her ass by saying inappropriate things in the classroom in an attempt to undermine the teacher, then it's game on and the teacher is free to put the student in his or her place quick, fast, and in a hurry.
     
  8. Loomistrout

    Loomistrout Devotee

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    Oct 24, 2014

    Correcting the teacher on rare occasions is no big deal. Some teachers make mistakes on purpose as a focusing tactic. Chronic correcting is more likely a discipline issue and has little to do with right-wrong, smarts or thirst for knowledge. It's a form of backtalk with goal to rattle the teacher. If you know your stuff there is nothing to debate, argue or apologize for. If you open your mouth to defend your method it's fishing time: student casts - teacher bites - student reels teacher in.

    Some teachers in this situation (backtalk) ask the student in a calm, controlled tone to write down his/her concern on paper and it will be discussed in private, after class or some other non-class time like after school. This stops 95% of students. Students with a legitimate question and not looking to disrupt will follow through.
     
  9. a2z

    a2z Maven

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    Oct 24, 2014

    OP, did the student tell you why the other students were frustrated with you? You don't really indicate what the student told you.

    Regarding corrections, I had a teacher once in elementary school who was corrected multiple times a day and multiple times a lesson. However, she was almost always wrong. She would say one thing and write something else on the board. Her handouts always had errors. So, I don't always agree with the previous poster that talks about corrections every now and then compared to correcting often.
     
  10. Loomistrout

    Loomistrout Devotee

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    Oct 24, 2014

    Hmm... I'm trying to figure out how a person producing this volume of errors over the course of a day was allowed to teach. I think the OP is dealing with backtalk masked as scholarly amending. The reactions, "drives my nuts" and "calling him out for being rude" says a lot about the intent of the student's correcting. It would be interesting to find out if this student does the same thing with other teachers.
     
  11. a2z

    a2z Maven

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    Oct 24, 2014

    How a teacher stays .... It was a district where teachers had to buy their way in (no lie) to their job and then it was a job for life (well, as long as they didn't do anything criminal for which there was evidence). Finally, the district is being looked into carefully.

    I think something more is going on since last year's student came and is saying many students from that class were frustrated with OP. I also think there is more going on because there were multiple situations where the teacher is being corrected. The second description didn't mention being wrong just that the OP thought it was rude.

    I'm not saying OP is a bad teacher, but something is going on if it is a multiple year problem and the big problem is students correcting her and students frustrated with her. I bet it is something that she can figure out if she straight up asked the girl who stopped by and visited her.

    I can tell you, in the example I gave the teacher had a similar reaction.
     
  12. Peregrin5

    Peregrin5 Maven

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    Oct 25, 2014

    Agreed. I actually don't like the saying "Praise in public, criticize in private." I find the most effective praise to be private, and when it comes to behavior, publicly stopping it is usually more effective.
     

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