For elementary and middle school teachers, I'm sure you get a lot of students coming up to you and saying something like "Adam hit me!" "Sally stole my eraser!" "Michael won't let me play with him and his friends." "She started it!" etc. I'm a bit embarrassed to admit it, but how can a teacher improve their conflict resolution language? I remember my master teachers looking/sounding very "professional" when dealing with these daily classroom scuffles but I feel like I still have a lot to learn. I don't feel decisive enough, and I worry if I just let it slide too much. It might go like this: Boy: Mr. Tek, she hit me! Girl: No Mr. Tek, he hit me first! Me: Nobody is to hit anybody B: But she started it! G: He started it! Me: I don't care who started it. No one is to hit anyone. I don't know. I feel like I'm getting them to move on rather than really patching things up. One time a girl told me during PE that this boy and his friends wouldn't let her play with them. Rather than bring her over to those same boys, I told her "Amanda, why don't you play with those girls over there instead? Come on, I'll walk you over" and then I'll bring her to the group of girls and say something like "Girls, may Amanda join?" while giving those girls the look "You really don't have a choice -- you better be nice and let her join" Should I have addressed the boys directly, though? Here's another example. I subbed for a 4/5 combo recently, and this student gave me a note that said "John likes Sally." He said he didn't appreciate whoever put the note on his desk, and asked me to rectify this situation. I told him "Let me address this with the class later" and moved on to the lesson. It was such a hectic day that I never addressed it. I felt bad for letting it get lost in the shuffle. At the same time, part of me felt like if I addressed it, especially as the sub, it would only make it worst for John. Sometimes, isn't it better to let something "die out" and have the kid toughen it out rather than focusing on it and getting the entire class more worked up on singling out a student? I'm still learning how to balance that out. I thought of maybe addressing the class while sending John out the classroom, but decided it might only make matters worse, so I didn't. Did I do the right thing there? Would love to hear what you would have done in that situation as a substitute teacher. In general, I'd like to improve my ability to facilitate students' conflict resolution better. I'm starting to read Compassionate Classroom. It has some helpful tips for sure. How do you handle conflict resolutions in your classroom? Is there a universal effective language to use, or does it really vary case by case?