Hello All, Time for another midnight rant! How many of you secretly want to do devious things to TAILGATORS! No, not those goofy people who like to eat polish sausages and drink beer at football games! I mean those irresponsible creeps who constantly creep up behind you at a red light. What is there problem!???! Did the notion of hitting me ever occur to you? Do you think if you get any closer, you could just climb over me, and somehow not be sitting at the red light! You are so d*** close, you can't even read my bumper sticker that says, "You are too d*** close!" (no I don't have one...new car! but I should!!!) So, here we go... If you were any closer, we would be dancing! "When I move, you move...just like that??" If you were any closer, you would be in my lap! If you were any closer, you might as well bring some pizza and a video! If you were any closer, you should just bring some Ben & Jerry's....and just one spoon! If you were any closer, I would probably think you were my ex! If you were any closer, I would ask what color is your underwear! If you were any closer, you would see the finger I am holding up in my rear view! If you were any closer, I'd be rubbing Preparation H on the hood of your car! If you were any closer, I'd wonder if you were following me home! If you were any closer, I would pop my trunk and let all my homework pages fly in your face! If you were any closer, I would throw my shirt out the window, just to see if you would come closer!!! Isn't there a law against this madness???