Tacky or Not? Child's 1st Birthday

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by 1stGradeRocks, Sep 22, 2017.

  1. 1stGradeRocks

    1stGradeRocks Comrade

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    Sep 22, 2017

    Do you think it is tacky for someone to send an Amazon "Wish List" for their child's first birthday to the grandparents and aunt? My niece's 1st birthday is in around a month, and my sister-in-law just sent us an Amazon Wish List. I had already bought everything I was going to get for my niece's 1st birthday, and now I don't know if I should return what I've gotten or buy more from the Wish List...What are your thoughts?
     
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  3. mathmagic

    mathmagic Enthusiast

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    Sounds tacky, unless they specifically asked for ideas, or it's something regularly done within your family.
     
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  4. swansong1

    swansong1 Virtuoso

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    Tacky. It's just the parents being greedy. You could give the child an empty box and they would be just as happy.
     
  5. agdamity

    agdamity Fanatic

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    We have a lot of family spread out across the country, so the grandparents/aunts/uncles ask for an Amazon list because it's so much easier to buy/ship the items. My dad will let me know when he's sent something, and I'll wrap it for him once it arrives. I don't think the list was sent to be tacky. I also don't think you should return what you've already purchased.
     
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  6. 1stGradeRocks

    1stGradeRocks Comrade

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    In those circumstances, I agree that it is not tacky at all and makes it much easier for your family. In my opinion, it makes a huge difference if the list is asked for. Also, my sister-in-law has been aware of my main gift for my niece (a scrapbook of pictures from her 1st year) for at least 3 months now. So I guess that's why I thought it was tacky to send an Amazon "Wish List."
     
  7. vickilyn

    vickilyn Multitudinous

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    Sep 23, 2017

    I would tell the parents that they can leave your name off of future lists - you have ideas and plans that can't be bought on Amazon. Leave it at that. Seems to me that they should have been much more selective about who received "help".
     
  8. a2z

    a2z Maven

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    Sep 23, 2017

    I'd be grateful to get a list, but if I bought already, the child would get what I purchased (I always send gift receipts).

    "What can I get?" is often a question asked. I don't find it tacky at all. A wish list doesn't obligate you to what is on the list.
     
  9. dgpiaffeteach

    dgpiaffeteach Aficionado

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    I don't think it's tacky. I always struggle with what to get kids because I'm not around them a lot, and I just don't know what they need. I'd rather get them something I know they need. The cousins always made wish lists for aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc... for birthday and Christmas. I know they appreciated it a lot.

    If I'd already bought gifts, I'd still give them those though.
     
  10. AlwaysAttend

    AlwaysAttend Fanatic

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    I would not tell them this unless I wanted to attend the most awkward party of the year.
     
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  11. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    Such a wishlist sent out to all guests is tacky. I think it's a lot less tacky to send a wishlist to grandparents and the aunt. In any event, you're never obligated to buy from a wishlist. It's just a list of suggestions in case you're struggling to come up with a good idea about what to buy. If they're mad that you went off the wishlist, that's tacky and it's not your problem.
     
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  12. vickilyn

    vickilyn Multitudinous

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    I guess the thing that bothers me the most is that a 5 year old can tell you everything they want (which is whatever was just advertised on TV.) But a child turning 1 has no wish beyond smiles, laughter, and something (anything) that entertains for more than 2 minutes tops. So this isn't about what the birthday child wants, but rather about what the parents are hoping others will provide. I think that the gift OP is making will someday be a cherished possession. Now all gifts have to be for the next day, week, or month. Some not on that wish list will truly stand the test of time. I wish I had an aunt who would have made such a heart-felt gift for me, to enjoy as an adult. I hope the baby's parent recognize that not everything worthwhile can be bought on Amazon.com.
     
  13. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    OP's gift sounds wonderful. If the parents sent out the wishlist because they don't want the scrapbook, that's tacky. If they sent it out as a "hey, just in case you need ideas" thing, especially if they forgot about what OP is making, it's much more reasonable and not tacky.

    For some perspective, in my family we often give several gifts on gift-giving occasions. If something is extra special or handmade, we would almost certainly pair it up with something more practical. A special keepsake item is an excellent and thoughtful gift, but a one-year-old can't play with a keepsake item like she can read a book or use a new cup or wear new clothes.
     
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  14. 1stGradeRocks

    1stGradeRocks Comrade

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    Sep 23, 2017

    Aww - Thank you! I hope my niece will enjoy the scrapbook as she gets older.
     
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  15. 1stGradeRocks

    1stGradeRocks Comrade

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    Don't worry - I've already gotten my niece 3 new outfits and 3 board books in addition to the scrapbook. :)
     
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  16. bella84

    bella84 Aficionado

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    Sep 23, 2017

    I think it depends on a couple of factors:
    - Did the parents send out the list to be helpful or to demand specific items? We can't say one way or the other because we don't know them, but you do. Being helpful is not tacky. Demanding specific items is.
    - Did the family members request a list of potential gifts the parents and child would like to receive? If so, then I don't think it's tacky to provide one. Is it possible that one family member requested the list and the parents thought they were including everyone by sending it to all family members? I mean, I would honestly be upset if my mom received the Amazon wish list for my nephew and I was left off of it, even if I had no intentions of buying something from it.

    I think it really boils down to the parents intentions for sending the list, and that's hard for us to judge here.
     
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  17. Danny'sNanny

    Danny'sNanny Connoisseur

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    Sep 23, 2017

    I keep an Amazon list of things I'd like for my child/ and things he needs.

    When family asks at birthdays what he might want, I let them know about the list. But never as a "things must be bought from this list only!!"

    We do have one family member who took her child's Christmas wish list, assigned each family member an item, took a picture, and texted us what we would be buying. That annoyed me a LOT
     
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  18. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    [​IMG] *

    *Not you specifically, of course, just the situation. :grinning:
     
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