Suicide is Painless?

Discussion in 'Job Hunting & Interviews' started by permanentrecord, Jul 30, 2006.

  1. Msmsw

    Msmsw Rookie

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    Aug 6, 2006

    I am so glad to hear you are feeling better. I know how things like this can eat away at your confidence and your happiness. With financial problems especially sometimes it seems like you are the only one having a crisis and everyone else is doing fine. That's really not the case, but it seems that way. I know that even when my kids athletic things come up, it seems so out of budget, and I wonder how all of the other parents are doing it. Sometimes I can barely afford to go out and buy groceries. Nobody who knows me would ever know it's this drastic. Somehow we always get by, and always make it. Just know that we are all thinking of you and wishing you well. Just take one day at a time, keep yourself on a semi-normal schedule that includes healthy food and a little exercise (ugh, I sound like a cornball). Finding balance really does help your emotional well being too. Last year I worked as an aid, and two weeks ago I was minding my own business driving to my brother in law's wedding and got a call on my cell phone asking me to teach this year! It was totally unexpected, but just what I needed. Things will turn around for you too, I just know it. Take care!;)
     
  2. nasimi77

    nasimi77 Groupie

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    Aug 6, 2006

    Permanentrecord: I am glad you are feeling better, but I agree with the sentiments already posted on this sight, please seek help that is readily available to you. We care about you and want you to see the quality person that you already are. Please, post again soon to update us on the steps you are taking to heal. I dealt with deep depression myself years ago and I sought counseling, and it really helped.
    YOu are a very smart individual. You posted on one of the best teacher sights on the Internet, in my opinion the best. That tells me you have a multitude of talents and gifts to offer others.
    I will be praying for you.
     
  3. MissFrizzle

    MissFrizzle Virtuoso

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    Aug 6, 2006

    We have all been there at some point. Some of us sooner or later than others. God Bless.:love:
     
  4. Grammy Teacher

    Grammy Teacher Virtuoso

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    Aug 6, 2006

    czacza, I am concerned, too. I asked Amanda if she was aware and could help, but she hasn't got back to me.
     
  5. oldsoccerlady

    oldsoccerlady Rookie

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    Aug 6, 2006

    glad to hear from you permanent record.

    Just in case this dark cloud that you've been under is a depression of some sort it would probably be a good idea to have it assessed.

    You say that you've recently graduated so you must still be young. I remember being young (vaguely). It is such an intense time of life.
    We've all experienced setbacks and disappointments. Don't be embarrassed or ashamed. Talk about it. You will find that alot of people know exactly what you are going through.
     
  6. JustWondering

    JustWondering Companion

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    Aug 6, 2006

    Glad to hear you are feeling better and see the other side of things. Be sure to call your family and interact with them. If possible share some of your concerns even if all they can do is lend an ear. Also try finding a support group to discuss your recent contemplations. While every one gets depressed and/or low not as many make an outcry as you have. It helps to be able to anonymously discuss those topics with others who have felt that way and may have even tried a time or two instead of just contemplated. Most groups like that are run by licenced professionals and can help assess your emotional needs for now and help you get emotionally on your feet and into the next stage of your life. Change often sends people into depression and affects everyone differently. Good luck with your search, find some enthusiasm, put yourself out there, and eventually you will find what you are looking for even if it means a few rejections.
     
  7. MillerJ

    MillerJ Rookie

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    Aug 7, 2006

    permanentrecord:

    I was at a place very similar to what you described in your initial post.

    It was the beginning of the summer, I had applied to 20 different school districts, used all of my networking skills, and still no job in sight. I graduated from Texas A&M University, with a Bach of Science in Psychology, and did exceptionally well in my ACP. Yet, I felt like a complete failure because I hadn't landed a teaching position. I have a stepson, therefore I am not willing to move because I would miss his soccer games, school plays, etc. My time with him is not something that I am willing to compromise. I will drive an hour or hour in a half to teach, but I am not moving. This has made it especially hard for me to get a teaching job.

    I had reached my breaking point, and I literally had a "breakdown" in my driveway one night. I felt like all of my hard work had amounted to nothing, and life was spinning out of my control. I felt like running away and I wanted to give up as far as teaching was concerned. I didn't care anymore. My family and loved ones pulled me through it with support and encouragement.

    As of today, I still do not have a teaching position. And, I haven't been to an interview in months. And I'm OKAY with it. I have signed up to sub for two different school districts. I'm hoping that the experience will be good for me, and I'm also hoping that subbing will get my foot in the door. I am actually excited about it, even though I won't have my own classroom.

    In life, things don't always go according to plan (a very hard-learned lesson for me). So, change your plans, reset your goals and you will most definately get the teaching job you want! I'm sure of it! It may not be right away, it may not be in the grade or school you are wanting, but everything you do now will lead to where you want to be.

    It takes a very strong person to come forth and admit how they feel, especially when you feel scared, or lost, or alone. That's a very important step that you took!

    Keep on applying, keep on trying. Good luck and best wishes. We want to be the first to know when you do get a teaching job!
     
  8. nasimi77

    nasimi77 Groupie

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    Aug 7, 2006

    MillerJ: Your post really touched me and I applaud you for your efforts and in encouraging Permanentrecord. Your desire to be near your stepson is understandable and most important admirable. You are so correct about life not going as we had planned. I know you as well will find a teaching job in time. That kind of persistence does eventually pay off. Same for you Permanentrecord. :)
     
  9. Mrs_Goatess

    Mrs_Goatess Comrade

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    Aug 7, 2006

    I graduated from college in 2002 with a BA in English Literature.

    I kept my college job at a grocery store because I was sure I would have known what I could do with my degree once I had it. No such luck.

    I missed school after a few years. In 2004, I ran into a friend who also studied Literature, and she told me about alternative certification.

    I took classes one at a time, without much guidance from college councilors and county certification expert. (She told me I should have been hired last year... no luck.) I subbed to get by while my husband also tried to get his degree.

    My family keeps asking why I haven't been hired. I have no answer.

    I don't agree that "it's just a job". For me, it's the destination of a decade long journey, it's a calling, it's what I want to do. I want this to be validated so badly by those professionals. To discount it as just a job is a sour grapes approach to me. Life is more than what you do, however, and there are many ways to do what you want.

    I believe things come to you when you're ready to have them. My husband is like that. My family is like that. I'm sure that my career will be like that. I've stopped grabbing at life; I open my hands and receive. I'm much saner this way.
     
    Last edited: Aug 7, 2006

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