I started out this summer full of hope and optimism. Teaching is, as many of you know, a calling placed in our hearts. I don't think that I could be happy without teaching. The end of summer is rapidly approaching, and every school that I applied to has rejected me. Most weren't even kind enough to call. I've missed my student loan payments because of my state of absolute poverty. I spend more and more time alone, avoiding everyone. I cry without reason. Sleeping is difficult, but after two days of staying awake I'll sleep for the next sixteen hours. I have applied to schools near and far, but no one seems to think that I would make a good choice. I don't know how to start picking up the pieces of my life. What scares me the most is that I've reached a point where I really don't want to. I feel like curling up and dying. I didn't spend the last four years of my life in school so that I could run coffee around an office, but it seems like that's what I'll end up doing. (If, that is, someone thinks I'm qualified.) Please, has anyone out there given serious thought to suicide before? I just can't get these thoughts out of my head and my heart. The post-college job hunt has shattered my self-esteem and frightened me to the point of losing all hope. The thought of anyone close to me finding out how desperate and alone I feel terrifies me. I just feel like a worthless person in an inescapable situation.