Suggestions please!

Discussion in 'Job Seekers' started by flutetoot, Jul 23, 2014.

  1. flutetoot

    flutetoot Companion

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2008
    Messages:
    213
    Likes Received:
    1

    Jul 23, 2014

    I currently reside in the northeast and have been searching for a teaching job for almost 8 years (yes, you read that right). I have worked as a daily sub, LTS sub, paraprofessional, tutor – you name it, but have never had a full-time teaching job with a contract. Finally, after years of this, I decided to apply for jobs out of state and get another state’s license.
    Well, after only 2 interviews in a month, I have been offered a contracted position in the other state. It is about 10 hours away from my current home so I would have to relocate. Here is my dilemma:
    We currently own a house and have 3 children in our current state (with no job). My husband works, but it is not enough for us to make ends meet. We have no savings and are almost bankrupt. I definitely need to get something if I was to stay here, but the outlook does not appear hopeful. My children do not want to move (they are in high school, middle school, and 5th grade) and if I am to take this job, I would be away from my family but could come home weekends/vacations. My husband is eligible to retire from his job at the end of next school year (2015) and we are talking about relocating definitely then anyhow.
    If I am to take this job, I would need to find housing, furniture, etc and be ready to start work on August 11th. School starts here on August 25th.
    I am just looking for input from anyone who may have had to do something similar and suggestions – I appreciate any help! I need to decide within the next 48 hours. :help:
     
  2.  
  3. dgpiaffeteach

    dgpiaffeteach Aficionado

    Joined:
    Jul 5, 2011
    Messages:
    3,224
    Likes Received:
    147

    Jul 23, 2014

    No real advice here-just hugs.

    I moved schools in 6th grade and again in 10th. Both times I couldn't have been happier once I settled in. Kids are pretty resilient. I get new kids as a high school teacher. They almost always settle in quickly.
     
  4. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2001
    Messages:
    24,959
    Likes Received:
    2,116

    Jul 23, 2014

    10 hours away from my family would be a hardship for me. Is the pay at job enough to cover your relocation and living expenses with enough left to send home to avoid bankruptcy there?
    Tough decision.

    I wish you well.
     
  5. giraffe326

    giraffe326 Virtuoso

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2006
    Messages:
    7,075
    Likes Received:
    15

    Jul 23, 2014

    It would be very difficult, but if it is your only solution to avoid bankruptcy, it may be the way to go.

    I accepted an out of state offer and had to move quickly. I was only 24 and single. I flew back home for Labor Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Spring Break. My family came down to me in October and May.
    It was about 11 hours. 10.5 if I pushed it. I drove up a few times for a day or two and it wasn't too fun. There is no way I could do that every weekend. Not to mention that it would be very costly. A round trip with gas and food usually cost me about $200. Add is oil changes, tires, etc... I don't think every weekend would be financially feasible.
     
  6. abat_jour

    abat_jour Companion

    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2014
    Messages:
    189
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jul 23, 2014

    Hard for me to chime in as I have no kids etc. I would take the job; sounds like you need the contracted position experience to get your foot in the door. I would say take the job. The oldest kid will have to help out. Its only 10 mos and you will have tons of more opportunities and may connect with an employer near you for next year. You don't really need furniture. 100 dollar cot from REI and 40 dollar card table from amazon is how I went through grad school. I used paper plates which arent economical. If things are as dire as you say then why would you pass up; this is a watershed moment.
     
  7. abat_jour

    abat_jour Companion

    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2014
    Messages:
    189
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jul 23, 2014

    Also, kudos for trying and getting a position. that is indicative of hard work and dedication. your kids would be proud when they look back and understand what you did for the fam. only 180ish day.
     
  8. abat_jour

    abat_jour Companion

    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2014
    Messages:
    189
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jul 23, 2014

    also ask the people who hired you about possible rentals etc. ask the principal, dept head, HR, district staff. they might know about stuff that isnt on craigslist/zillow
     
  9. swansong1

    swansong1 Virtuoso

    Joined:
    May 19, 2007
    Messages:
    6,764
    Likes Received:
    1,723

    Jul 23, 2014

    I moved fora job and brought our youngest child with us. Different age, but 5th graders are resilient and she needs her mom.

    It ended up being three long years before we ended up in the same home...long story. We skyped every night and visited several times each year.

    Take the job...it will work out!
     
  10. Maryhf

    Maryhf Connoisseur

    Joined:
    Jul 28, 2006
    Messages:
    1,612
    Likes Received:
    53

    Jul 23, 2014

    DH and I are currently living apart. He took a job out of state-2hrs away, while I stay at home. It works for us because he comes home every weekend and we FaceTime every evening. My kids are in college, so they aren't really involved. We are doing very well partly because he got a good raise. Apartment rent is tough though. Good luck with the decision.
     
  11. ready2learn

    ready2learn Comrade

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2013
    Messages:
    356
    Likes Received:
    78

    Jul 23, 2014

    A hard decision. No suggestions, but good luck in whatever you decide to do!
     
  12. LisaLisa

    LisaLisa Companion

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2012
    Messages:
    247
    Likes Received:
    2

    Jul 24, 2014

    I've known a few people who had out of state/area jobs away from their family. You can rent a room, sometimes for a very reasonable rate. Look at live-in jobs during the week - minor tasks in exchange for room and board.
    Also, see if there is a train or other form of transportation you can take home on weekends.
    Your family can move with you but think about the amount of work that entails. Do you really want to pack up everything and teach the first few weeks of the school year? Think about the stress and work from moving the entire family.
    Good luck and congratulations on a new job.
     
  13. tired.mom

    tired.mom Companion

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2011
    Messages:
    103
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jul 24, 2014

    First off, I wish you the best. I have three children, and you do have to take the entire family's needs into consideration. That's just good parenting.

    With that said, if you can, this job might be a terrific opportunity, especially if you were planning to re-locate in the next year anyhow. This way, you can "try out" the new area without incurring financial risk such as selling (or not being able to sell) your existing house and all the rest.

    I think it can work, especially if your husband is supportive, which he sounds as though he is (which is huge!). Wish you the best!
     
  14. kaeco510

    kaeco510 Companion

    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2014
    Messages:
    108
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jul 25, 2014

    I don't have kids, so I can't really offer any guidance on that part. I think you need to figure out what is going to be best for your family financially. However, this sounds like a really good opportunity! If you can make it work for a year, it would open a lot of doors in the future if you decide to not stay in the area.

    Good luck and congrats on the job offer!!!
     
  15. vickilyn

    vickilyn Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Jul 19, 2014
    Messages:
    11,890
    Likes Received:
    2,939

    Jul 26, 2014

    Kids never want to move, so mark that off your legitimate concerns. If hubby can't move now, kids can stay with him where you live now, but they must know they will have to step up to the plate and be active participants in making everything work. You don't need much where you are going for now. Look for a room-mate, a furnished room, whatever will keep the cost down. Own up to the fact that this is a desperation move to save your credit and legal fees down the road, and bite the bullet. Skype can be a God-send, and perhaps you should be asking questions like, how do military families do this kind of thing, or families split by divorce? Hard for ten months is not hard forever. Your absence will prepare your kids for the reality of a move in the following fall, and force hubby to finalize plans for retirement or a change in what he is doing. What you are talking about isn't easy, but far better than the alternative. Know that this is not ideal, but that you can survive. Don't undo all of the good you are trying to do by becoming poor trying to keep to a schedule where you commute back and forth every weekend - it will end badly.

    Good luck, and congrats on the job offer.
     
  16. abat_jour

    abat_jour Companion

    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2014
    Messages:
    189
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jul 26, 2014

    You have to update us on your decision! I hope everything works out for the best.
     
  17. Froreal3

    Froreal3 Companion

    Joined:
    Feb 6, 2010
    Messages:
    233
    Likes Received:
    4

    Jul 27, 2014

    I would take the job. You can rent a cheap room, sleep on a futon, and eat Ramen noodles often. No, I'm not joking. Send the money home until hubby retires next year. Then sell the house and set up shop in your new state. Or you can bring one of the kids with you. I have lived apart from my SO and it's not that bad.

    Good luck!
     
  18. flutetoot

    flutetoot Companion

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2008
    Messages:
    213
    Likes Received:
    1

    Jul 27, 2014

    HI everyone

    Thanks for all the advice - here's the update:
    I had a verbal offer from the Principal who was going to try to contact my references. He emailed me a couple of days later to tell me that he could not get in touch with some of them due to school being out. I sent him another couple of names and contact info but have not heard back yet. Once I get a definite offer, I will probably take it. I am researching rentals in the area and transportation idea.
     
  19. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2001
    Messages:
    24,959
    Likes Received:
    2,116

    Jul 27, 2014

    I offer the follwing so you dont become an achy or hangry (hungry + angry):

    Don't sleep on a cot or futon...your back will not be happy. Buy a twin bed.
    Ramen? Really? No. There are better ways to eat on the cheap besides ramen. You aren't an 18 year old college student. A bag of pre washed greens doesn't cost much for salads. Soup. Quesadillas. Tuna. Pasta tossed with fresh or frozen veg. Cheese and crackers. Shop the weekly specials, cook once and freeze left overs in zip bags or Tupperware for lunches.
     
  20. vickilyn

    vickilyn Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Jul 19, 2014
    Messages:
    11,890
    Likes Received:
    2,939

    Jul 27, 2014

    Piggy-backing on the last post, if you don't already have a food-saver, now is the time to get one. Not only for you, but for your family. It will make you feel like you have still been a good wife and mother if you can leave the freezer stocked with home-made meals when you do have some time at home. For you, the idea is to make money without spending more than necessary. You know how to shop and cook (you have kids, after all) so just keep up the good work in your new environment. I also second a good bed - I can do without much room or comfort, but I have to have a good nights sleep. You have an older daughter who will be going off to college one of these days, so just buy/find twin XL bedding that she will be able to use later. That seems to be the standards college size of bed these days. No need to buy new if you are not afraid to wash stuff from the thrift store. Goodness, I'm not even ashamed to admit that most of my clothes come from a thrift store! The trick is to be fashionable, be careful in your purchases, and take the time to find the good stuff. In some parts of the country thrift stores are more prevalent than here on the east coast, so I fashion shop with my sister in the midwest when I go to visit. I wear great name brand clothes that cost far less than shopping at Walmart. Takes some time, but so worth it. Eat well, sleep well, dress well - just make sure that you stay upbeat while teaching. You are teaching your children about being a strong woman not afraid to take some appropriate risks for great rewards. Best of luck.
     
  21. giraffe326

    giraffe326 Virtuoso

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2006
    Messages:
    7,075
    Likes Received:
    15

    Jul 27, 2014

    I have an Aerobed from when I lived out of state and family visited. When I had an apartment that I only slept in on Monday through Thursday, I slept on the Aerobed. (I have a spare bed but I didn't want rent a moving truck for only four days a week for only three months.)
    I'm a side sleeper. For the first two weeks my shoulder hurt. After that, I realized that I was keeping it too firm. I had no further problems. I could definitely sleep on one for a few months. For a year, I'm not too sure....
     
  22. teacherintexas

    teacherintexas Maven

    Joined:
    Jul 7, 2005
    Messages:
    5,293
    Likes Received:
    757

    Jul 27, 2014

    I think getting a decent bed is important as well. Maybe you could rent a furnished room in someone's home so the furnishing cost won't be an issue. Good luck! Your first year is stressful and being away from your family won't be easy, but once the year is over, you'll have a greet story to tell.
     
  23. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2001
    Messages:
    24,959
    Likes Received:
    2,116

    Jul 27, 2014

    No. No Aerobed. Buy a REAL mattress and box spring.
    Mommys don't have to be martyrs. Teachers shouldn't be sleeping on the floor, cots, futons or air mattresses.: nor should they be eating ramen on a daily basis..I love love my job...but I wouldn't love it if I had to deal with the suggestions posted here.not worth it given what the op is probably being offered in $alary. I wouldn't do t for what I'm paid either...2cents:
     
  24. indigo-angel

    indigo-angel Companion

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2007
    Messages:
    200
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jul 27, 2014

    Congrats and good luck on the offer. I think you should definitely take it, and as others have said, rent a room in a home with a preferably elderly couple (my completely biased opinion). Craigslist is a good place to start. You can get some nice, simple furniture pieces at consignment shops, and a reasonable mattress and bed this time of year (it's moving season). Instead of you going to visit home every weekend, you can alternate your visits with your hubby and kids; they come sometimes, you go sometimes. Also, skype and video messaging are popular. You can make it work.
     

Share This Page

Members Online Now

  1. catnfiddle,
  2. nstructor
Total: 224 (members: 2, guests: 203, robots: 19)
test