Students friend requesting you on facebook?

Discussion in 'General Education' started by MikeTeachesMath, May 8, 2012.

  1. MikeTeachesMath

    MikeTeachesMath Devotee

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    May 8, 2012

    So ever since my fieldwork ended, I've been getting friend requests from some of the students. The strange thing is I have my profile on hidden so you can't find me if you search my name, so they had to go through one of my mutual friends. No idea who that could be, though.

    But what's your policy? I mean, two of the students that requested me I was on pretty good terms with and had frequent conversations about theatre and music. One of them actually acts at the same theatre as I do. The other 3... not so much, so I've hit "ignore" :haha:.
     
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  3. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    I tell my students that once they graduate from high school, I could consider friend requests.
     
  4. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

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    You're moving to a totally different part of the state, correct? Since you are no longer teaching at that school, and you are still a student yourself, there is a slippery slope you can surmount. The tricky part is whether you would consider going back to that school to teach full time when you are licensed.
     
  5. teachart

    teachart Comrade

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    I prefer to wait until they graduate too. I know some teachers allow friend requests after the class is over, but I just feel uncomfortable with it. I remember when I was in middle school a teacher would instant message with students (this was way way before facebook) and it just lead to a lot of stress for everyone involved.
     
  6. MikeTeachesMath

    MikeTeachesMath Devotee

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    This was the policy that my high school teachers had as well. Now I'm friends with 6 or 7 of them on facebook.

    Yes and yes. Even if I go back to the school after I get licensed, both of the students will have graduated. I have at least another 3 semesters left and they're both juniors.
     
  7. TeachOn

    TeachOn Habitué

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    Nooooooooooo.

    Not many things are forbidden around here, as you may have gathered, but this is one of them, for good reason, I think (particularly, to be honest, if you are as young and handsome as you appear ;) ). (Straight male here, by the bye.)
     
  8. stephenpe

    stephenpe Connoisseur

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    Everyone knows what I have to say about FB. That said I have hundreds of "friends" on FB from the County Sheriff, a judge and most of my 5th graders from two years ago.
     
  9. MikeTeachesMath

    MikeTeachesMath Devotee

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    Your posts never fail to crack me up. :p
     
  10. orangetea

    orangetea Connoisseur

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    Definitely don't accept them at least until they graduate.
     
  11. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

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    Worst case scenario is that you wait until they graduate, track them down and request them, and they don't remember who you are. You might as well ride that slippery slope down to a "I have a policy" stance.
     
  12. Sarge

    Sarge Enthusiast

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    May 8, 2012

    Forget what everyone else says. It's your call.

    First, consider what your FB page is and how you use it. I don't reveal a whole lot of personal stuff, and I don't use it as a platform for political rants, complaints about work, or a place to post pictures of my hookah and gun collection.

    Second, you need to think about your own past and how much and what aspects of it are online. As for me, only the good stuff is online. My carousing, partying days were pre-digital photography. Film was expensive and when we did anything stupid, we didn't stand around taking pictures of it.

    For these reasons, I'm willing to accept friend requests from former students under the condition that I'm also Fb friends with their parents. So far I haven't had any problems.
     
  13. TeachOn

    TeachOn Habitué

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    I love the way the metaphor in this works. Kudos.
     
  14. MissCeliaB

    MissCeliaB Aficionado

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    Our state passed a law that basically serves to prevent teachers and students from being Facebook friends. I add them after graduation.
     
  15. YoungTeacherGuy

    YoungTeacherGuy Phenom

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    Personally, I wouldn't add a student under the age of 18 on Facebook.
     
  16. MikeTeachesMath

    MikeTeachesMath Devotee

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    Well it's a good thing I'm not the wild and crazy type. Even when I do let loose, pictures don't happen; too risky considering my future career, and my friends all respect that. But I'll be the first to admit that I'll drop the occasional f-bomb.
     
  17. Brendan

    Brendan Fanatic

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    My rule is after graduation, but when I moved schools, I accepted old students.
     
  18. Peachyness

    Peachyness Virtuoso

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    I had one former student send me a request. I laughed when I saw that. I like to keep students as far away from me as possible when I'm not teaching. :p I like my privacy. :)
     
  19. Peregrin5

    Peregrin5 Maven

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    When I volunteered for an afterschool program for my pre-service experience to get into my credential program, I made the mistake of accepting facebook friend requests. (These students made me a very heartfelt goodbye book, and told me as I left how much of a difference I'd made in their lives. I felt bad because I wasn't crying. -I never cry-)

    After I added them, I keep getting really annoying game requests and religious posts and requests. I would feel bad to take them off my friendslist as well.

    Also, I don't know if its visible to them, but I have relationship statuses and stuff on my facebook and I don't really want them knowing that information.

    When some of my current students started sending me facebook requests, I turned my profile to private and changed my accounts last name, so they couldn't find me.

    There are certain mini-social network type things out there that I wouldn't mind adding students to, as long as I used it only in the context for my students and their parents. (i.e. using twitter to inform students and parents of homework assignments, etc.)

    But yeah, don't friend them.
     
  20. orangetea

    orangetea Connoisseur

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    There is definitely stuff on my facebook that I don't want students seeing (relationships, certain pictures, etc.) I like my privacy.
     
  21. lucybelle

    lucybelle Connoisseur

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    I would never add a student to my facebook. I curse, I talk about my personal life, talk about work, I post pictures of me in bathing suits, drinking beer, on vacation, doing stupid things, etc.

    My facebook is hidden, my name isn't my real name, my pictures are all hidden. I have done everything possible to make it impossible for students or old students to find me. I was "friends" with some younger kids on a swim team I coached for a while, but even deleted them. They're not my friends, and neither are my students. They don't need to be on my facebook.
     
  22. teachin4ever

    teachin4ever Cohort

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    I did this too, although even my former students from my former school are in a group where they can only see my profile pic and send me messages. I have no idea why they want to be my friend when they can't see anything...maybe they like the birthday wishes I send them on their birthday!
     
  23. lovebeingteach

    lovebeingteach Companion

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    No! NO! no! Never! NEVER! never!!!!!! Absolutely, positively, not!
     
  24. orangetea

    orangetea Connoisseur

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    :agreed:
     
  25. ku_alum

    ku_alum Aficionado

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    May 8, 2012

    Same.
     
  26. Ima Teacher

    Ima Teacher Maven

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    I accept them as friends, but I put anyone under 18 in a special category so I can restrict what they see. For instance, I block them from my status updates, but on Sunday night I posted a reminder about field day on Monday that I posted so everybody could see it.

    Sometimes the kids will make comments to me about not being on Facebook very much because I don't post pictures or status updates very often. Little do they know that I'm on FB all the time . . . they just don't know about it. :p As soon as I accept their request, I hide them as well. I don't want to know what they do.

    I put everybody in categories, not just students. Very few people (maybe 20 of my 800+ friends) have full access to everything I post on Facebook.
     
  27. bandnerdtx

    bandnerdtx Aficionado

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    Our district has a policy that states we must wait until they graduate from high school. I have many former students as friends, and I love watching them grow into wonderful adults. Several are teachers now, too, and that gives me a warm fuzzy! :)
     
  28. Emily Bronte

    Emily Bronte Groupie

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    After graduation
     
  29. Linguist92021

    Linguist92021 Phenom

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    I would say no in most cases. One exception I would make is if they're seniors, and they'd be out of high school.
    When I was classroom assistant 2 years ago I did accept 3 students towards the time / after I was leaving, but they all graduated by then. One girl is in beauty school now, and it's great to see that she is following her dream. These were my only exceptions.

    I actually am pretty careful and paranoid about students finding me on FB, so i don't even use my real last name. I don't want them to find me.
    I'm not even friends with my own daughter (she's a freshman), because who knows, I might sub / teach at her high school and by that time her friends would have seen my pictures, posts etc.
     
  30. each1teach1

    each1teach1 Cohort

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    I don't friend kids at all. It mostly stems from the fact that I was 21 when I first started teaching and I really had to have a firm professional front. Since then I've just been fiercely protective of my privacy. In fact, I've defriended a co-worker who friended current students (she ended up quitting at the end of the year; we all suspected that the inability to maintain a firm line between professional and personal life made her job A LOT harder than needed). I don't even know if I would accept friend requests from the first set of kids I taught even though that was four years, three schools and a district ago. But I don't believe everybody has to take that stance.
     
  31. anky2930

    anky2930 Rookie

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    In my opinion you should tell them this thing otherwise they feel weird.
     
  32. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    I'm sorry, I have no idea what that means.
     
  33. MissCeliaB

    MissCeliaB Aficionado

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    I think the poster means that it's awkward when someone just ignores your friend request and never tells you why. So make sure to tell the students that you won't be friends with them and why.
     
  34. MikeTeachesMath

    MikeTeachesMath Devotee

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    Removed; got the answers I needed!
     
  35. Mathemagician

    Mathemagician Groupie

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    Oh my--I would definitely NOT comment on it.
     
  36. orangetea

    orangetea Connoisseur

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    Yeah, don't comment. Definitely don't comment on it.
     
  37. MikeTeachesMath

    MikeTeachesMath Devotee

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    I was kidding, of course. I would never ever do that... couldn't even imagine the amount of trouble I could get in.

    But still -- should I have him take it down? If I wasn't able to SEE the comments I wouldn't care, but the fact that I can see them...
     
  38. orangetea

    orangetea Connoisseur

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    I think you should unfriend him if you can.

    This is why being friends with students isn't the best idea. If they facebook post about doing drugs or something, I'll feel required to tell. And I honestly don't want to know through facebook.
     
  39. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    May 10, 2012

    :agreed:
     
  40. wanting2teach

    wanting2teach Rookie

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    I only "friend" students if they are former students at a school I no longer work at and have no chance of working at again (I moved out of state).

    Otherwise, I would agree with the other posters on waiting until they graduate high school.
     
  41. TamiJ

    TamiJ Virtuoso

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    I tell them politely that I don't have students as friends on FB. It's never been my current students, but I have some of the 2nd graders who I had last year request me as a friend. Why does a 2nd grader need FB? I won't let my 10-year-old use FB.
     

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