Student with a bad attitude about you.

Discussion in 'General Education' started by Peregrin5, Sep 26, 2013.

  1. Peregrin5

    Peregrin5 Maven

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    The only student I'm really having a real issue with this year, is sadly enough, one of my best students, meaning that he gets straight A's completes all of his work, etc.

    The only problem is that he has a sh1tty attitude, especially about me. I think it started when I gave him a warning for speaking up without raising his hand. Ever since then, even when I pulled him aside to talk about it to try and clear up any misunderstanding, he's been muttering things about me below his breath, trying to toe the line of misbehavior giving me side-glares to make sure I'm not catching him, etc. When he realizes that I'm watching him he just resorts to muttering and complaining about me under his breath to his partner, who is starting to get sick of it, because his entire group enjoys being in my classroom, and he is the only one who doesn't seem to.

    I can tell that for years he's probably been a teachers pet, and used to getting his way. Because he is so intelligent, he knows just how much he can get away with without getting into trouble (I don't really have a rule about students muttering bad things about me under their breath, especially since I can't even verify that they're saying bad things about me since I can't hear it really).

    He's just made it very clear that he doesn't like me and he's going to show displeasure for about everything I do.

    I've ignored most everything from him so far, because hey, an 8th grader feels like he needs to act out to get my attention, big whoop. But his disrespect is starting to become more audible (I'm almost catching what he is saying), and I'm afraid his attitude will spread through the classroom, even though at the moment everyone seems to turn a deaf ear to it. Because he is popular, the other students seem to just laugh along with his snide remarks and superficially agree, but I can tell that they really enjoy the classroom.

    How would you guys deal with this?
     
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  3. stephenpe

    stephenpe Connoisseur

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    Kill him with kindness. I would ask him to stay after class one day and have a conversation, Tell him the reason you asked him to raise his hand (if everyone just called out it would be chaos and you would have migranes) Talk about his good points and why you like having him in class. Ask about siblings, parents, hobbies, sports, etc. IF that does not work ask the counselor to come in and listen to you and him.
     
  4. Loomistrout

    Loomistrout Devotee

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  5. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Respect is earned. It's a two way street...
     
  6. 1cubsfan

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    I think in a situation like this, I would completely ignore it. You say that you have been trying to, which is good.
    It's getting to you.
    I know it's getting to you because you are worried about it.
    The student knows it's getting to you too. He will noticed it in the subtleties: when you look his way when he's muttering it, when you do a double take, when you take a step closer to him, when you look at him a second too long to decide if you are going to say something or not... Now obviously, I don't know for sure that you are doing those things, but you might be.Because you're thinking about about it, you probably aren't ignoring it as well as you think you are.

    Maybe you are ignoring it well. I would just keep going with it. He'll get the picture soon enough
     
  7. Peregrin5

    Peregrin5 Maven

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  8. Peregrin5

    Peregrin5 Maven

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    Well that is why I had taken him aside as soon as it started and discussed with him that I wasn't intending to show him any disrespect. He nodded but I could tell that he wasn't listening nor cared.

    I always show the utmost respect for my students but I also hold them accountable for the rules. I can't think of a time when I was disrespectful to him, especially since I call on him when he raises his hand but not too often because I want to get the input of others as well and I always thank him for his input.

    He earns his grades and gets smashing grades in my class. I don't think there is any way that he could accuse me of giving him a lower grade because he thinks I don't like him. I say hi to him everyday when I shake their hands as they enter my room, and if I see him out on the quad, I will say hi or nod his way.

    That's why I don't see where this disrespect is coming from.
     
  9. Peregrin5

    Peregrin5 Maven

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    I think you've hit on pretty good points here. I'm doing my best to ignore it, but maybe I'm not doing well enough.
     
  10. Ms.SLS

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    I had a kid like that a couple years ago, although he was an 11th grader not an 8th grader. I eventually pulled him outside and told him to cut the attitude. When he started to "what attitude?" me, I refused to get in to it and more or less said that he and I were both intelligent enough to know what was going on, that he didn't have to like me or my class but he would be respectful while he was in my classroom. Then I left him outside on the ramp until he could control himself.

    It more or less worked, with a few tantrums thrown in throughout the year/
     
  11. HistoryVA

    HistoryVA Devotee

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    This year, I told my students on the first day that the entire concept of having to earn respect is bunk. They earned my respect by being born. I've noticed that a lot of the students in my school (very urban, low SES) walk in with a chip on their shoulder and the idea that a teacher has to "earn" their respect. Instead, I tried to promote the idea that every relationship, every meeting should start with IMMEDIATE respect and each party should try not to lose it.

    I also made it clear to them that there was very little they could do to LOSE my respect. That even if they wanted to cop an attitude with me and act out, I'd still respect them. I'd give them detention, but I'd still respect them while doing so. :p The students really seemed to respond and like hearing that.

    In this situation, I think I'd pull the kid aside and tell him that I respect his ability in the classroom, but did not appreciate his attitude and did he have any suggestions on how we could fix the dynamic in the classroom. Then I'd offer him a chance to wipe the slate clean and start over as though we'd just met, but make it clear that continued disrespect would result in detention.
     
  12. Go Blue!

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    I agree. I hate when people say "respect is earned" like teachers should have to prove themselves to students in order for them to respect us. I also teach HS in the urban, inner-city and many of my students believe that teachers MUST prove themselves to their students or they will choose not be respectful to the teacher. Worse, if the student decides they want to be disrespectful and disruptive, they will often say stuff like "the teacher has not earned my respect so I have no reason to behave." Furthermore, often when a child says "respect" they mean like; I try to reinforce that you do not have to like or be friends with someone to show them respect and common decency.

    Just this week, I heard a Junior tell Admin that the reason he acts up in English is because he does not respect the teacher - like that is a justifiable answer. The problem is many people make excuses for students' behavior using things like "respect has to be earned." People need to stop making excuses for crappy behavior!!!!:mad::mad:
     
  13. readingrules12

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    As you know an 8th grader with an attitude is almost as common as a dog that is hungry. I wouldn't worry about the attitude thing--you can't control it.

    Disrespect is another matter. I would not tolerate that at all. I think it is good for the students to know what is respectful and disrespectful so they know where the line is. Those who cross the line should get a consequence that is appropriate.
     
  14. Peregrin5

    Peregrin5 Maven

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    Yeah. The only thing is I don't want to accuse without proof. I can only tell by the shifty glances he gives me coupled with the obvious whispering to his mates (only done during group work times and times that it is okay to talk) that he is probably saying something disrespectful about me.

    To be honest, it's probably him putting on a show. If I heard it with my own ears, I wouldn't tolerate it. But since he does it under his breath, I can't really do much about it.
     
  15. Linguist92021

    Linguist92021 Phenom

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    I would ignore it unless it becomes too much. He can stare at you, make subtle faces, let you know he doesn't like you, even whisper things under his breath - he doesn't have to like you and he doesn't have to like your class.
    But once he becomes vocal about it, then you could maybe have a quick private conversation with him.

    I had something similar.
    We just had a student return from last year. Last year we got along great at first but then she became very difficult, obviously didn't like me, used profanity, complained, was disruptive, etc. It got nasty from her part and I never knew why.
    So she came in my class yesterday, and started up with her comments "oh it's this class again'. 'oh we have to do all this shxt in this class' 'it's the same shxt like last year', etc.
    She kept looking at me with a happy face, obviously she did that to 1. make her presence known 2. push my buttons, 3. try to find out how I react and what will get to me. I made eye contact, but ignored her, never responded, didn't even always look at her.

    I later asked me P what to do. I told her I wanted to ignore it, didn't want to react. She said to pull her aside before class if possible and let her know that 'it's good to have you back, welcome to my class. Yesterday I noticed all the personal attacking comments you made and I cut you a break because it was your first day. But from this point forward that will not be tolerated. You don't have to like me nor my class but you have to show me respect, otherwise she would be sent out.'
    I couldn't catch her, she probably got her late and we have absolutely no breaks between classes. She came in my room, I thought if she starts it up again I will pull her outside and talk t her privately then, but she didn't. She actually said that someone (probably my P) said that she must behave and stop giving me a hard time. And she said that she would.
    And she was great. Later on towards the end we actually talked a little, a light hearted conversation and I asked her what happened last year. She just didn't like my class because we always did so much work, but first she wasn't so vocal about it.
    I told her (and the few students who were standing around) that she didn't have to like me nor my class I just didn't need to hear it.

    If she makes faces or whispers to herself I won't react. As long as it's not loud where others and I can hear it, I'm ok with that I will ignore it, I won't even look. Otherwise she would think it bothers me and it would keep up. If she makes it loud, I will remind her, give her warnings and then follow through with the consequence.

    So this is what I would do in your place as well.
     
  16. BumbleB

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    I love this. All of this. Working in a low SES community, I deal with this every.single.year with multiple students. Glad to know that other people go through the same thing!
     
  17. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    I had a kid like that 4 years ago.

    I picked up an Algebra I class in October for the remainder of the year, when a friend took a leave to battle cancer. One young woman hated me from day one. HATED me and made no bones about it. I wasn't Alicia and there was nothing I could do to turn her around.

    Fast forward a year. I'm teaching Geometry. I wish I could have been a fly on the wall of her homeroom when that young woman found out I was her Geometry teacher.

    But somewhere along the way, things changed. She became responsible and responsive. She started coming to extra help, and we started chatting as we were working. By the end of her sophomore year, I was her favorite teacher.

    She chose me to write one of her two reccommendation letters for college last summer, and it was an honor to do so.

    She's in for a rough day today, with the loss of her old Algebra teacher. She's one kid I intend to seek out this morning..
     
  18. Go Blue!

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    I just feel that issues like this will never improve if we never put any of the responsibility or ownership of bad behavior/being disrespectful back on the student. In my district, I always hear Admin say things like "teachers must earn respect" or "if your lesson is not engaging, the students will act up and make your life hell." :eek: What? So poor behavior is always the teacher's fault?:rolleyes:

    Like I said in my earlier post, I was in the office when a Junior was put out of class and sent to the office. He told Admin that because he didn't like the English teacher (who is a new teacher), he didn't want to pay attention and was behaving badly. The student basically said that if the teacher did not act the way he did, then the student would not get it together. So Admin goes, "well, I'll talk to Mr. English Teacher to see what the problem is ... go back to class."

    It just frustrates me that in the urban, inner-city it seems like we are always negotiating with students to get them to behave in a civil manner.
     
  19. stephenpe

    stephenpe Connoisseur

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    I think some people take things too personally. Messed up kids/children bring baggage most of us cannot imagine. Many time adults are the bane of their existence. Before all that respect can appear trust needs to be established. Another thing is that your approach with kids needs to vary. Some will respond differently than others. Hard work for sure and with so little time it may appear futile. Kids need us for all kinds of reasons. We have to teach them. Trust is the key. Gain it and you can perform miracles.
     
  20. Peregrin5

    Peregrin5 Maven

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    I"m thinking that what I will do is to pull the kid aside and say:

    "Hey, I've been noticing the bad attitude you've been bringing into my classroom. That attitude just makes it clear to me that you really want teacher attention. I just wanted to let you know that there are better ways to get my attention, and you probably already know them, raising your hand, participating in class, talking to me afterwards, etc.

    So from here on out you have three choices: 1) continue acting the way that you do, and continue to not enjoy class, the only caveat is that if your behavior ever leads to disrespect towards me or other students, I will not tolerate it.

    2) you can open up a discussion with me about why you have this attitude or

    3) we can turn over a new leaf tomorrow and start afresh with the attitude gone, and I'll forget it ever happened."
     
  21. a2z

    a2z Virtuoso

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    As a student, I wouldn't take well to that "talking at". Actually, I'd have been saying more choice words under my breath after that "talking at". You would be better off talking about facts instead of ascribing motivation to the student thinking this student does this because of want of attention. I expect that is not the reason. It could be the way you reprimanded this student after the first incident showed disrespect or talking down to even if that was NEVER your intention.

    No, I think your speech to this child will make it much worse.
     
  22. Peregrin5

    Peregrin5 Maven

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    Thanks for giving me that feedback. I will rethink the talk. I do want to do much less of the talking and let him do the talking, but I don't know the best way to approach it with this student.

    I can keep ignoring, but I have a feeling it will get worse.
     
  23. joeschmoe

    joeschmoe Companion

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    I can think of two 11th graders that I have this year that falls under the category of being rude. Same dealio about talking under their breath. I pick and choose my battles. Those times when they talk under their breath, I don't want to make a big scene by having a he said, she said moment. Actually one time, one of the student asked me if she could use the restroom. I simply said no. She didn't see me looking at her a seconds afterwards but as she was turning her head, I can see her mouth something along the lines of "FCK YOU". Of course if I call her out on it, she would just deny it. This is a result of me doing absolutely nothing to have her give such an attitude. I've moved her seat once and asked her to be quiet or get to work. All things that are normal when someone doesn't focus on their tasks. I've come to the conclusion that she just has a really bad attitude and it will come back to bite her socially. In fact, I witnessed one time when I allowed them to work with others and no one wanted to sit with her.


    With that said, I have pulled her aside and told her that I do notice her mouthing at me. And I told her as soon as I hear exactly what she said, she will be written a referral. Outside of that, I treat her normally, say hi to her, etc. If she continues to make me an enemy, then that is her choice.
     
  24. AHS_Fan

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    I wouldn't worry about it. Who cares if a student doesn't like you or has a bad attitude towards you as long as he or she is learning and doing the work. Now, if the student is openly disrespectful to your face, that's a different story...

    You've done your part in talking with the student and tried to come to an understanding. I'd just try to move on. Some students (and adults) just have a bone to pick with some people no matter what.
     
  25. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    While you can't force a kid to like you, you can shut down the negative commentary. That sort of thing is infectious and will permeate through the whole classroom if you allow it to continue. Pull the kid aside and tell him that the rude remarks are not appropriate and he needs to stop.
     
  26. Peregrin5

    Peregrin5 Maven

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    What if I can't actually hear what he is saying though? He's wise enough to not do it when I'm there and just when I'm across the room.
     
  27. Cerek

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    You have two options (well, ok, probably a lot more than two, but here are the two that come to my mind).

    1) Next time he mutters under his breath, call him out on it. Look him i the eye and tell him "If you have something to say, then just say it. Don't whisper or mutter."

    Chances are, he will back down after being openly confronted. If he decides not to back down and does say something disrespectful, then you have something you can give him a consequence for. But since he likes being "sneaky" about it and talking JUST loud enough for you to know he's talking, but not loud enough to actually hear what he is saying, it's not likely he will want to say it in front of the whole class.

    2) Follow the example of the previous poster who pulled the kid aside and just told him straight out "You need to lose the attitude in my room. You don't have to LIKE me or my class, but you do have to leave the attitude at the door when you come in."

    When he tries to act innocent or defensive and say "What attitude?", just follow the example again and say "You and I both know what is going on. I'm not going to argue about it or discuss it. I'm also not going to tolerate it. So you have a decision to make."

    I agree with a2z about the speech. I know Dr. Spock and others say we need to use warm-fuzzy talk like that, but I've always had a hard time believing it does any good. If *I* were the disrespectful student and a teacher gave me a warm-fuzzy speech like that, I would either laugh in their face or use come more choice words, like a2z mentioned.

    I've always been a firm believer in just being direct about the behavior; why it is wrong and why it won't be allowed. You don't have to be ugly, criticizing or threatening about it. You can just stick with the facts "Your recent attitude and actions in the classroom are not acceptable. I expect each student to follow the same rules. If they don't, they receive the appropriate consequence(s) for their actions." And leave it at that.
     
  28. joeschmoe

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    If you feel confident enough that he IS talking about you behind your back, then you need to confront him about it one-on-one. At the same time, you have to really assess whether you should be picking this fight. People talk about other people behind their backs all the time. Do you want to spend the energy on this? Naturally, kids won't hold grudges like adults can. You can weather the storm, continue to treat the kid nicely (despite him being a jerk), and hope he comes around.

    If you feel you are doing a good job and the class likes you, then him mouthing you isn't going to do anything.
     
  29. joeschmoe

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    I understand the rationale behind this advice, but I don't know if it's ideal to butt heads like that in front of other students in a classroom setting. You can try to predict how the student will react, but you really don't know what he will say. Basically you're risking escalating the situation into a show for everyone else.

    One thing that I haven't mentioned is to talk to his other teachers. Get a feel for what kind of student he is outside of your room. And call his parents. If you feel uncomfortable accusing him of these things because his parents might call you out without the proper evidence, then don't specifically point out that you feel he is talking about you. Just let the parents know in general he has been uncooperative. Maybe parents can straighten him out.
     
  30. Cerek

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    Each situation is different and you do have treat each one individually.

    Confronting him directly (outside of class) about his attitude is not making an accusation because his attitude is plain to see. So you're not accusing him of saying things about you, you're just addressing the general attitude he displays in class.

    Calling him out in the classroom is also not an accusation, because you don't make any guess about WHAT is being said. You just tell him "If you have something to say, then say it loud enough to be heard." Either way, you've not made any false accusations against the kid, you've just addressed the behavior or actions that are openly seen by anyone in the room.

    I had an 8th grader mutter a comment about me under his breath during a sub assignment once. I taught at the school as well, so I knew the kid from previous years. He was a good kid and (generally speaking) a good student, but for some reason he decided to "show off" a little bit for his friends in class that day. While I was talking, he made a really rude comment about me, including calling me a rather vulgar name. Like Peregrins' student, his intention was to say it loud enough for me to know he was saying something, but not loud enough for me to hear what he actually said...or at least not be CERTAIN I heard what I thought I did.

    To his surprise, I stopped the lesson, looked straight at him and asked "What did you say?"
    "Nothing. I didn't say nothing."
    "Yes, you did say something. I heard it and your friends heard. So, if you have something to say you would like to say, then go ahead and say it loud enough to be everybody, including me."
    He just stared at his shoes. So I said "If you're not willing to say something loud enough to be heard clearly, then you need to keep the comments to yourself."

    During my student teaching, I did have a kid exactly like the one Peregrin has now. Very smart, Very intelligent, but also decided he just did not like ME at all. I ignored his actions at first, so he just acted out more. When I would address his behavior, he would mutter comments under his breath. I followed the guidelines of the school and the advice of my coop teacher in dealing with his behavior. After the behavior continued to escalate, I went to the principal, who called the student to his office and discussed his actions. He also gave the student consequences. When the student returned to class, he was VERY defiant and openly disrespectful and his behavior became even worse.

    Finally, he was walking out to his mom's car one afternoon after school and stuck his tongue out at me after he walked by me. I didn't see it, but his mother did. Ironically, I had planned to call her that day to suggest a parent/teacher meeting. Instead, she called me and said she wanted to meet to discuss MY actions towards her son. So we had a parent/teacher/student/principal meeting. The other teachers were brought in and all agreed they had no problem with him in their class. It was only MY class where he acted this way. Dad said "Well, it must be something *I* doing to cause his son to act that way." That's when I handed mom and dad a two-page list detailing just the MAJOR behavior problems he had displayed in class so far. After dad read the list, he asked the son if this was all true and the son had to admit it was.

    Dad made the son stand up and apologize to me, the principal and the other teachers for his behavior.

    The following semester, (before I got my license and began teaching at the school), I subbed at the school and had the student again. When he came in, I made it a point to greet him cheerfully and ask how he was doing. I didn't say anything about our past, but I let him know by MY actions that it was exactly that - the past. It was over and we were starting with a clean slate.

    Later that day, one of his friends (who had often joined in his behavior the semester before) was acting up. When I addressed his behavior, he said "Well JOHNNY does stuff like that too." I said "JOHNNY isn't the one acting up and disrupting the class, YOU are." Needless to say, "Johnny" was shocked that I would actually take up for him. I never had another problem with him.
     
  31. Peregrin5

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    Well I don't know if this is a step forward, backward, or sideways, but the student apparently thought it would be funny to wait outside the bathroom door to try to scare me in front of some of his friends and classmates when I exited during lunch.

    Only problem was that he did it very poorly and I knew for a fact that he was outside before I left the bathroom, so when he attempted his scare which failed miserably, I merely looked at him and raised an eyebrow and went along my day. Honestly, everyone looked like they were having a good time and were good-naturedly disappointed that there wasn't a reaction. (These are all students I have very good relations with, one of them gave me a hug on my way to the bathroom.)

    When I had him for my second class, before he entered the classroom I asked him to wait behind and told him "As nice as it is to receive a greeting when I exit the bathroom, it's not really appropriate. Don't let me see that again." He apologized, but I could tell the air between us was more one of amusement, which I felt was better than the air of open animosity that he normally had towards me. *shrug* I dunno. I could see some teachers being openly offended by that activity, but I'm not really, especially since it was executed very badly.

    Anyway, I'm going to let his grades speak for themselves, because in my elective class the grade is based heavily on participation which he has been doing miserably in as of late, due to his behavior.

    I haven't seen any muttering about me today, so there's not much to address there. If I do catch it again, I will be sure to call him out on it. I'm hoping that he just got over it.
     
  32. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Sep 28, 2013

    You may just have handled that situation exactly right. If it's amusement instead of open hostility, and you got an apology, you may have taken a huge step forward.

    A story I've told here before:

    My first year back to teaching (after a 5 year absence) I was asked to change schedules in January. I had been teaching 7th grade, since that's where the opening was in the department. But the Precalc teacher was going out on maternity leave, and we coudln't find a qualified replacement. So they hired a sub for my classes, and I covered Denise's while she was out. Since I was back at the same school I had taught in for 13 years, they knew the material wasn't going to be an issue for me.

    OK, so one Tuesday morning I arrive at school to find that it was the day I was picking up her classes.I went into my new 6th period class, introduced myself, and found out the homework page.

    We were covering conic sections, the ellipse to be specific, and each problem included finding the latus rectum.

    Well, Sam just had to use that one. He must have asked 20 questions, all including the phrase "latus rectum." After a while, the questions didn't even make sense anymore, but all included that phrase. I answered them all straight.

    In the last minute of class, as the bell was about to ring, I gave them the homework, then added: "Um, Sam???? I've potty trained 3 kids. Did you REALLY think the word "rectum" was going to make me run from the room crying???"

    The whole class laughed, Sam high fived me on the way out,and my reputation was made with all 5 classes.

    My point is that sometimes it's a test of sorts, and you may just have passed.
     
  33. Cerek

    Cerek Aficionado

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    Sep 28, 2013

    Humor is always a good approach if the situation presents itself - especially if you are the subject of the humor. If you can do something embarrassing and laugh at yourself along with the kids, that almost always helps establish a bit of a bond because now they know you are a regular person too.

    When I was teaching 6th grade math, I was only working part-time. My classes were in the afternoon and all of my peers had their classes before lunch, so I often got to sub for them in the morning, then cover my own classes in the afternoon.

    I was "subbing" for the Social Studies teacher one day. Her 8th graders had been in my students the year before during my student teaching, so we already knew each other.

    After I gave the assignment and got them started, I began walking around the room observing them. They were working in groups and most of them were sitting on the floor (which the regular teacher allowed). As I came to one group, I decided to sit against the desk near them. BIG MISTAKE! As soon as I put my weight on it, I knew I was going to the ground. It started tipping immediately and there was nothing I could do but go along for the ride. So I got dumped flat on my butt in front of the whole class. Needless to say, they all got a big laugh out of it. I just looked at them and said "And THAT is why you are not supposed to sit on the desks". :lol: They loved it and got an even bigger laugh. :)
     
  34. Peregrin5

    Peregrin5 Maven

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    Sep 28, 2013

    Thanks guys! Hopefully this has resolved itself. =]

    And this happens to me ALL the time! When ever I trip over my own two feet (which happens to be often, I catch myself continue my stride but give my "Whoops" face, while I continue teaching regularly.
     
  35. Rockguykev

    Rockguykev Connoisseur

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    Sep 29, 2013

    I must be a tyrant because I'd send the kid out as soon as I had a hint that he was disrupting the other students with his comments. You've been completely reasonable in your expectations with him from what you've said. He has the choice now to meet expectations or spend a class period or two somewhere else. If the kids are enjoying your class as you say then removing him from that setting is likely going to have the greatest impact on his behavior/attitude.
     
  36. Peregrin5

    Peregrin5 Maven

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    Sep 29, 2013

    I've been attempting to catch it and keep him accountable, and that may include him being separated from the rest of the class if it gets to that point, but as I said, he's very smart and never lets it get to that point.

    I will definitely keep my eyes peeled though. I'm trying to be better at catching instances of bullying, and being sarcastic and rude towards each other, even if they think it's in good fun. This kid is not very nice to others in the classroom.
     
  37. sue35

    sue35 Habitué

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    Sep 29, 2013

    I have a kid who is like that this year. He constantly says things about me under his breath and is rude in class. I kicked him out and told him to come back when he felt he could be respectful. I know he is going through some stuff and is taking it out on me but he needs to be polite.
     
  38. Tim89

    Tim89 Rookie

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    Oct 1, 2013

    I think every child should be polite no matter what, if he is not, a teacher should find a way to show them how to behave.
     
  39. vivalavida

    vivalavida Companion

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    Mar 11, 2014

    I'm curious how things are going now, Peregrin. Better?

    I stumbled across this thread because I have been having a similar issue recently. One of my students is outright disrespectful and negative about many of the activities we do in class (even when we play a game!) and I feel as though it brings down the entire classroom vibe. My feeling is that he has a problem with me coming in as a student teacher and doesn't respect me as an authority figure. I'm not sure there is anything I can do about that now, but would love to find some techniques for appropriately responding to his behavior in order to (hopefully) put a stop to it!
     
  40. Peregrin5

    Peregrin5 Maven

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    Jun 1, 2014

    Sorry I missed your post. I think as Alice said, bringing that air of amusement rather than the air of animosity really really helped. He hasn't been disruptive or openly rude since that time, and in fact, I think I even accidentally overheard a conversation in which he named me as his favorite teacher. When the friend he was conversing with told me that openly, the student denied it fervently which makes me feel that it might be true. (lol, middle schoolers).

    He still works mostly alone, and isn't very participatory with others, he also likes to complain about any computer work but I think that's just his relationship with computers so it was kind of a bummer that he got stuck in my elective which was mostly a computers course, but while we haven't exchanged very many words, he appropriately follows the rules in my classroom for the most part. (He is still a little mean to certain students, and so I think he might need to be moved.)

    There is a similar situation that has been going on with another student however, but it is slightly different. This other student openly hates me (or at least tells me every chance he gets), attempts to get on my nerves at every point by pretending to break rules, and will be openly rude and defiant. While they shared the commonality at the beginning that both cases started with dislike of me, I think I have to deal with them in different ways. I've tried building a friendly relationship with this student, but he just takes advantage of it.

    I've contacted parents and was at my wits end. Finally I decided I will deal with it with pure accountability. He isn't a part of my class until he can prove to me that he can handle being a part of the class by following the rules and staying out of trouble. This will go on for multiple days until I feel he's proven himself. Despite him saying my class is boring and the labs are boring, I know he really enjoys them. It's rather late in the year to be doing this, but I talked it over with his mom, a few days ago, and the last time I saw him, he was as compliant as pie, even asking politely if he would be allowed to participate in the NASA simulation. I told him, as long as he stayed out of trouble he would be allowed to.

    I guess what both of these experiences have taught me is that even if a situation seems similar, the ways they need to be handled can be VERY different. One required avoiding of head-on conflict with the student, another required just enforcing the strictest consequence I could produce.
     

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