Student who has never been told "no"

Discussion in 'General Education' started by Ms.Holyoke, Sep 26, 2019.

  1. Ms.Holyoke

    Ms.Holyoke Connoisseur

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    Sep 26, 2019

    Does anyone have advice for managing the behavior of students who can't handle hearing the word no?

    I've been having difficulty with the behavior + attitude of a student who struggles with hearing the word "no." Her mother works as a para at our school and I have heard that other teachers also struggled with this student's attitude.

    Today, the student:
    -ran to the tissue box during instruction--asked her what she was doing, and she yells back "I'm getting a tissue!"
    -went to get a tissue multiple times (after I told her to take a few to her seat)
    -Continued to ask me to go to her locker and go to the other room to get a fidget
    -Had a bathroom "emergency" three days in a row
    -Was very rude when I was helping her with work

    This girl is a bit quirky and does not have friends.

    I've just been telling the girl "no" but I asked her mom to meet tomorrow morning. How would you address this?
     
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  3. RainStorm

    RainStorm Aficionado

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    Sep 26, 2019

    I wouldn't ask her why she is going to the tissue box -- since that is obvious, and leads to a conflict. Just walk over and put a box of tissues directly on her desk. Then the behavior will switch to wanting to throw it away -- so put a trash can next to her desk.

    I'd stop making it an issue. Ignore when you can, and give choices otherwise.
     
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  4. Ms.Holyoke

    Ms.Holyoke Connoisseur

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    Sep 26, 2019

    Honestly, I feel like she needs to meet expectations.

    I’m fine with kids getting a tissue even if I’m talking. But all of my other kids know that they can't be out of their seat more than once during instruction for a tissue. I also feel like I can't move a trash can during instruction haha. It's also inappropriate to run to the tissue box and yell at me when I ask what she's doing.

    My team teacher told me that she is not nice or friendly with this girl. I probably made the mistake of being too nice to her in the beginning.
     
    Last edited: Sep 26, 2019
  5. a2z

    a2z Maven

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    Sep 27, 2019

    One piece of advice, don't go into the meeting with the parent with the "this child has never been told no attitude". You have already developed extreme bias toward the parent and the child which may or may not be accurate.
     
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  6. Lisabobisa

    Lisabobisa Companion

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    Sep 27, 2019

    I have done this with pencil sharpeners, calculators, water, you name it! I've put it on a student's desk to keep them in a seat during instruction!
     
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  7. Lisabobisa

    Lisabobisa Companion

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    You don't need the whole trashcan. I have a plastic bag tied to a student's desk for this reason.
     
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  8. Ms.Holyoke

    Ms.Holyoke Connoisseur

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    I think you're right! Mom was super supportive and the meeting went great. She was great in class today.
     
  9. a2z

    a2z Maven

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    I'm happy it went well. However, my advice stands whether or not your bias is true or not. It doesn't aid in positive communication and progress to resolving issues.
     
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  10. Ima Teacher

    Ima Teacher Maven

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    Sep 27, 2019

    I have a box full of individual sharpeners, multiple trash cans, baby wipes, pencils, cough drops, bandaids. The harder they want to disrupt or roam around, the harder I work to prevent it.

    They go to the restroom between classes. No class more than 65 minutes. Kids with real emergency bathroom issues don’t make a deal out of it. Kids wanting attention will fuss. Every. Time.
     
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  11. Tired Teacher

    Tired Teacher Comrade

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    Sep 28, 2019

    Over the years, I have trained myself not to say , "No!" I say, "Let me think about it."
    Sometimes I'll say, "When you are done with your work." (which I know is never going to happen.) Or usually I'll just say something else. Like you can do _______ or _____. ( Not naming the option they wanted. ) I started practicing this yrs ago and it helps when you have a kid w/ ODD or any type of kid really.
    I did not raise my own kids that way though. I felt that it was important for them to learn what the word no meant. The way teachers have no backing (where I am), it helps too. Because a teacher may say no and get over ridden by the admin or parents. I have seen kids use this divide and conquer method enough.
    I am so sorry though that you are dealing w/ a kid like you describe and that her mom works at the school. That can make it a lot harder. I'd tell her mom exactly what her daughter has been doing. ( If I thought it could help.)
    Also, I'd make sure our weekly vocabulary words for next week included words like: tone (voice), dis/ respectful, friendship, and so on....Then have deep discussions about each word daily. I'd encourage the kids to look for examples daily. When they tell the example, they can only use a name if it is a nice example. I had the words immature/mature, polite/impolite, thoughtful, thoughtless ( the possibility is endless) a lot last year. Even if the behavior mentioned was rude and they can't say the name, the kids catch it.
    Oh, I just now saw that talking to mom was helpful. That is awesome!
     

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