Student who can't stand to be corrected

Discussion in 'General Education' started by cupcakequeen, Dec 2, 2015.

  1. cupcakequeen

    cupcakequeen Comrade

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    Dec 2, 2015

    I work with a student (3rd grade) who just cannot handle any sort of correction. He doesn't fall apart and cry or anything but he becomes very rude, defiant, and argumentative when he is corrected. For example, his class is going on a field trip next week. He kept telling the other students that the trip was on Monday (and I think he honestly thought it was) and the other kids were freaking out because they thought it was Wednesday- which it is. One of the asked me, and I confirmed that Wednesday was the correct date. The student in question told me I was wrong and he was going on Monday because that's the day he wanted to go and I couldn't stop him. We were getting ready to start class and I didn't want to get into an argument with him so I said we could check on the date later. Then he refused to speak for the rest of class except to occasionally glare at me. After class we had a talk about his attitude and he apologized.

    Today, though, it happened again when I corrected his method of addition- he was starting in the thousands or ten thousands place and working backwards. While the kids were working independently (so as not to single him out) I sat down with him and showed him an example of a problem with regrouping and why we start in the ones place. I also tried to highlight the positive by pointing out that his math facts were correct, he just needed to start working in the ones place in order to get the question right. He told me that "this is the way we do it in my family. We're Irish so we're stubborn and won't listen to what any one says. You'll just have to deal with it." Then he got an office referral/lunch detention for telling the other students they were stupid for listening to me and the other teacher because we just wanted to be bossy. And he refused to speak to anyone for almost two hours after he came back from his lunch detention.

    Both his regular ed teacher and I have been in touch with his parents several times, they have little to say on the matter other than he is stubborn at home, too, and they will "talk to him." Anyone have an idea of how to handle this? I hate feeling like I'm walking on eggshells around him.
     
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  3. MsMar

    MsMar Fanatic

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    Dec 2, 2015

    Don't have much advice but one of my 6th graders is somewhat similar. The one thing that I have found that helps is to use as few words as I can when I have to explain anything to him or correct him. The more I talk, the more he'll shut down/get annoyed/insist that I'm wrong. He has an IEP and he sees one of our special ed teachers weekly for "group" where one of the things he works on is how to appropriately interact with people. What's hard too is that he doesn't really get that his behavior is annoying to others. Then he'll become more annoyed if another student reacts negatively towards him based on something he instigated. So, not much advice here but know you're not alone and I wish you the best on getting strategies that work for him.
     
  4. Peregrin5

    Peregrin5 Maven

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    Dec 2, 2015

    With a student like that, I would be like "*shrug* Okay. I guess we won't see you Monday." or "Alright. You do the math your way, and I'll grade it my way."

    You did the right thing with the referral.
     
  5. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Dec 2, 2015

    I have a gifted math student in my class who actually pulls from the higher place values first and then adds in the sums from other place values...it's not wrong, just different. Is it possible your student is trying this method?

    As far as the field trip, I would have said "have a great time....we'll miss you".

    I wouldn't engage in battles with him.
     
  6. BioAngel

    BioAngel Science Teacher - Grades 3-6

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    Dec 2, 2015

    I have a 6th grader - who is the baby in a family of 6 kids - who is similar but opposite: if I correct her, she will break down and tell me I'm making fun of her and being mean. (This is the 4th year I've taught her and the first year she is pulling this on me.) Apparently she is have anxiety issues and seeing a doctor for it, but I've had enough (I also have anxiety issues so I'm sensitive up to a point of where I feel like I'm being jerked around and used or abused). Today I out right told her that just because I'm correcting her does not mean I'm trying to upset her or insult her. She comes into my classroom so that I can help her with her skills and learning - it is my job to help her improve and promised her I would give her honest feedback because I know she's a bright student who wants to grow as a learner. She calmed herself down after that and was better for the rest of the period when I gave her feedback on what she could do better with.

    As for this kiddo, I would tell him to stop making excuses for being unkind to people, especially those who are trying to help him be a better student and learner. He's welcome to make up his own directions, but you only give credit to assignments that follow your directions. I wouldn't worry about him telling other students to not listen to you - I'm sure most of them are bright enough to know he's flipping crazy and to listen to the teacher who does a lot to show that you care about them.
     
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  7. cupcakequeen

    cupcakequeen Comrade

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    Dec 3, 2015

    Hmm, I'll be honest- I hadn't considered that. I know his reg. ed teacher and I have not shown that method, but it is possible he's seen if that way. If he could do it that way and get the answers correct I'd be okay with it, but he does not have very strong number sense or a good overall understanding of regrouping at the moment so I'm not sure if he could be successful doing that.

    I do try to avoid battles with him. I honestly think he enjoys the power struggle, so I don't give in when he glares and argues. I guess maybe I need to just let some natural consequences occur- he doesn't want help correcting his math, that's fine. He'll get whatever grade he earns.
     
  8. 2ndTimeAround

    2ndTimeAround Phenom

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    Dec 4, 2015

    I teach high school and sometimes run across this. Every time it is has been a student that has always had high grades in elementary/middle school and is just learning that high school is a bit different. Lots of big fish here and we assess differently.

    Some of the kids seem to resent me all semester. No skin off of my nose. I make it clear that everyone gets things wrong sometimes, including me, and if they can't handle the constructive criticism, so be it. You can pout all you want. But you better do it quietly and not disrupt the learning of others.
     
    Peregrin5 likes this.

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