Student, parent, police, & me....

Discussion in 'Early Childhood Education Archives' started by dizzykates, Nov 13, 2005.

  1. kimrandy1

    kimrandy1 Enthusiast

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    Nov 15, 2005

    I have also had issues with parents calling my home number after I've called them from home, and they use caller ID to get my number. There is simply no other way they could have gotten my number, since we're unlisted. The worst one I had was a mom who would call, literally, after midnight to ask if I remember what part of the playground her daughter fell down on, so she could go the next day and look for her lost ear-ring. Or she'd call while I was nursing my infant and insist that it was an emergency - dh would bring me the phone and she'd just be wondering what the school was serving for lunch the next day. She was, really and truly, crazy.

    It's sad, but I won't return calls from home any more. I am available all the time via email, and I'll call from school during my normal working hours, but not from home. I don't give out my phone number, and it's all because of one parent who couldn't respect my privacy.
    Kim
     
  2. mommakibby

    mommakibby Rookie

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    As a parent and not a Teacher- the parent was way out of hand how petty and to put you in this position was uncalled for she obviously had a personal issue she needed to deal with kids will be kids why bring adults into the situation.. Isn't that why we sent our children to school??? Is to learn about others and learn to respect others?? It does not help any when a parent is that aggressive maybe she should have been turned into the police fpr harrassement.. let kids be kids and learn by their own mistakes or givings...Why are these parents sooo protective??? maybe it has to do with there own upbring.. I say as a parent let you child grow, they can not grow when ou hover over it stunts the growth mentally physically and socially....That woman has a problem she needs to deal with .. YOU sound like an awsome teacher who any child would be lucky to have
     
  3. Upsadaisy

    Upsadaisy Moderator

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    Nov 16, 2005

    Let's face it, there are all kinds of people in the world and we will get their kids. I try my best to ignore the nutty ones. Only once or twice have I gotten calls at home. And they were legitimate questions about assignments. Everybody else knows better. Dizzy, maybe you have a few smooth years ahead because this one sounds like she counts for several off-the-wall parents.
     
  4. dizzykates

    dizzykates Habitué

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    Nov 16, 2005

    LOL I appreciate the vote of confidence. I sure hope so. Don't we become teachers so that we can have a sane influence on otherwise insane families? :) Not that I don't have my own crazy days!!!!!
     
  5. Miss W

    Miss W Phenom

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    Nov 16, 2005

    Lately, I think it's been the other way around. I thought we became teachers so they could drive us crazy! By they I mean: parents, kids, & the state department.
     
  6. sbtellmann

    sbtellmann Companion

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    Nov 16, 2005

    Just wondering if maybe the gym could call when the child uses the membership?
     
  7. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Nov 16, 2005

    That's exactly what I was going to say: Maybe change your cell phone #. Something like this hopefully may never happen again in your whole career, but having a new # to ensure that no parents have it will certainly make me feel better & remember! Don't call them from your new #, they'll have it again on their caller ID's.
     
  8. ohteach

    ohteach Companion

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    Nov 16, 2005

    I am not sure if everyone has this in their areas but if you press *67 before you dial the phone number it will block your information on caller ID. I am not sure if there is a charge for this service. On my cell phone it is free (I have Alltell).
     
  9. Beth2004

    Beth2004 Maven

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    Nov 16, 2005

    I have that too and I don't think it costs anything.
     
  10. ErscmMaine

    ErscmMaine Rookie

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    Nov 16, 2005

    ok, my opinin here is that the mother is 100% responisble for letting her daughter take the silly thing to school in the first place.
     
  11. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    Nov 17, 2005

    She may have needed it if she attends afterschool care at the Y or something. Our local facility has the same thing and the kids need to show it when arriving the facility.

    I hear what you're saying though. She should have also been talking to her daughter about being responsible for it as well...like keeping it in her pocket or something so nobody takes it. Maybe she did? Who knows. Parents need to make kids more responsible for their actions or lack there of as well.
     
  12. dizzykates

    dizzykates Habitué

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    I just have a hard time believing that a 5 year old needs to show ID before going to daycare. Aren't daycares suppose to know their children? Especially if they show up everyday after school? I would think they would admit the kids and have a card there to scan saying they came...But I don't have kids so I don't know.
     
  13. Miss W

    Miss W Phenom

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    Nov 17, 2005

    Our Boys & Girls Club also has the kids show I.D. The kids have to wear it (it's a necklace) when they're there. Depending on the location, it may just be a safety/record keeping thing. At these type of places you have volunteers helping to run it. They might not be there all the time. Sometimes kids can also be kicked out because of behavior.
     
  14. scrappincrafter

    scrappincrafter Rookie

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    Nov 17, 2005

    Parent may have had to call police

    If the daycare membership card is anything like our daycare/fun gym, then the parent may have been required to call the police. Our cards aren't monitored electronically, and require a $450 deposit that is lost if more than one kid is using a single membership. Our club has a problem with people asking for replacement cards and sharing the old with someone else.

    I think that the mother handled things very distastefully, should never have called you at home, and should have simply filed the police report to give to the center.

    I am dissapointed to see so much name-calling about parents, that is very tacky behavior from teachers. Every person has had a bad day in thier lives, and none of the teachers making those comments are any better, or perfect. Don't label parents as "crazy" just because a parent had a bad day. At least give them the chance to change things before you pass judgement. And try very hard to be absolutely perfect before you pass judgement, lest ye be judged.

    I see this problem with teachers in my district all the time, thinking that they know more about a child or a child's situation than the childs parents know. Try to keep in mind that you only know what you see at school, you don't know everything about a child's situation, nor should you, it isn't your child.

    Try to respect parents, even if you don't like them. Negative attitudes show whether you realize it or not, and this can cause the child involved to have difficulties.
     
  15. Beth2004

    Beth2004 Maven

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    Nov 17, 2005

    I believe that teachers are also allowed to have a bad day. Especially when being called at home by a parent and being blamed for a situation that the teacher had no control over.
    I also believe that at least most teachers respect parents, but sometimes it is very difficult to respect people who obviously don't respect you (accusing you of thinking you know everything, blaming you for things you have no control over, yelling, swearing, etc.)
     
  16. Miss W

    Miss W Phenom

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    Nov 17, 2005

    I agree that we shouldn't label parents, but you shouldn't label teachers either. Yes we all have bad days and sometimes take it out on other people. This wasn't over a period of one day. The parent is angry, I understand that. I would be angry if it happend to my child too. But I would not go on a tyrade on the teacher and administration. The school replaced the card, which is something they did not have to do.
    I think it is good for teachers to know children's situation, if the parent wants to volunteer the information. Should a teacher go to others (teachers, family, friends) and say "Did you know that M.P. is this or that?" NO! Of course not. That information should not be shared with others. That's not what we're doing. We're sharing general information and asking advice of others who have had similar situations. Knowing some situations helps me make adjustments in my teaching or behavior management style.
     
  17. scrappincrafter

    scrappincrafter Rookie

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    Nov 17, 2005

    Not labeling teachers

    No one is "labeling" teachers, please read my post again.

    No, I do not beleive that any teacher should have to put up with abusive behavior from parents, and I have stated that the parent involved with this situation was wrong in her actions towards the teacher.

    However, for teachers to be in a public forum referring to parents as "crazy" and "loony" is very dissapointing.

    A negative attitude towards a parent can cause emotional trauma for a child whether or not you realize that you are doing it.

    Some parents might well deserve a negative attitude towards them, but unfortunately, those particular parents probably don't care. The child cares, and that is who gets hurt.

    Yes, teachers should have some information about thier students, it is helpful, but no, a teacher shouldn't know everything about a child or thier family, it is invasive, and really impractical if you are paying attention to all of your students equally.
     
  18. Miss W

    Miss W Phenom

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    Nov 17, 2005

    You should see some of the things I've read on public forums about teachers, and not just from parents. Please know that my post was not intended to attack you. I just wanted you to see what we see.
    I just want you to know that labeling was not the purpose of this thread. Our main purpose is to support each other as teachers, and to give ideas when it was needed. I do agree with you that any communication should not be done in front of a student. As a teacher, that is unprofessional. I think the teacher in this situation did her job in a most respectful way.
     
  19. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    Nov 17, 2005

    Perhaps if someone does not like the tone of this forum, or this thread, then they shouldn't be subscribing to it in the first place:) Everyone has a place to vent, and for many teachers, this is it. I am sure parents call teachers bad names as well. Just like there are bad teachers, there are bad parents that make our days feel worthless. In those cases, we vent about it. If you don't like it, then you have the option of not posting in the thread. I would have to say out of the many forums I have seen, this one pays much more respect to parents far more than others.
     
  20. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    Nov 17, 2005

    A last thought...assuming and taking things out of proportion doesn't do any good:)
     
  21. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    Nov 17, 2005

    Dizzy, I can see where you would think that about not having to show a card for a daycare. But, if this child had a membership card to a YMCA or something similar, then the facility is so huge that it's mearly usually a safety precaution. In our state, facilities like that don't even need to be licensed. If you think about it, you can have an endless amount of kids by oneself. AND, you never know how it operates...maybe they don't have the same teachers all the time, etc.? KWIM? It probably wouldn't run like a smaller daycare type facility.
     
  22. dizzykates

    dizzykates Habitué

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    Nov 17, 2005

    That's a good point, Jen. I hadn't thought of that. Either way, the child/parent/facility needs to understand how important it is that the item is kept safe. Perhaps showing it off is not a good idea? It seems the issue passed w/o more incident and for that I am grateful. I have thought about changing my number, but it's MY number, I've had it 5 years, you know? I hope it doesn't come to that and that this is the last time she will use it. We shall see.

    PS. All communication was kept over the phone or in a private office, neither of the children was ever present and the issue has never been discussed in my classroom. The two children are friendly and work well together.
     
  23. scrappincrafter

    scrappincrafter Rookie

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    Nov 17, 2005

    Please follow your own advice.

    JenPooh, you also have the same option you are offering me- to not post or subscribe if you don't like the tone. I feel that it is taking things too far to suggest that someone isn't welcome simply because you do not like what they have to say. I am expressing my opinion, the same as everyone else here.

    Everyone needs to vent occasionally, but there are positive ways to do that and negative ways to do that, and it is my opinion that name-calling is a negative way to vent, and I am dissapointed to see that. I have a right to feel disappointed, and that is how I feel about it.

    I feel that parents and teachers should respect each other, and do everything possible to work together. No one is attacking the teacher in this case, she absolutely did the right thing. The parent was wrong to have called her at home. The parent should have simply filed the police report, if neccessary, and went on.

    Sure, there are bad parents, and bad teachers, but I will never let either make me feel worthless.

     
  24. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    Nov 17, 2005

    Yes, and I respect your opinion and I am sorry you have to feel the way you do. However, I'm not the one that is upset by any postings.
     
  25. mommakibby

    mommakibby Rookie

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    Nov 17, 2005

    i am a parent as well as a volunteer at the school

    :eek: Guys, come on now, I have not seen any name calling it is just one side does not see the others..I am a parent of two Kinder and 2nd grade as well as 3 teenage stepdaughters.... I see the best of both worlds... It is just that when all I saw was from a parents point of view I did not understand why certain things were as they were....Now that I am involved within the school system I see both sides...Now I understand there are 30 students to a class and when a child or parent are disruptive it takes away a lot of time the other children could have been learning instead of dealing with inappropriate behavior...I feel my children should get the attention and guidence from these teachers, but how can you spread your caring over the day to 30 students?? I know my children are safe at school and the teachers will guide them well, with all their heart...but they shouldn't have to guide the parents also... I gave up my protectiveness to education... I can guide my child at home , but at school they are there to learn social and school education..
    I could of always homeschooled my child if I didn't want a influence on my child or his/hers behavior
    maybe i am out of line , but after all we are the grown ups here:angel:
     
  26. scrappincrafter

    scrappincrafter Rookie

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    Who said upset?

    There is definitely a difference between "upset" and "disappointed". I have said that I feel disappointed, I never said that I was upset. I am sorry if you've taken my words out of context.

     
  27. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    I understand...your posts just sound like you are really upset.
     
  28. bam451

    bam451 Rookie

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    During my parent teacher conferences last week I had a parent show up at 10:45am drunk. It got so ugly that I had to hit the panic button in my classroom for adminstration to come and remove her = ) Let me tell you.. That was fun!!
     
  29. bam451

    bam451 Rookie

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    I am dissapointed to see so much name-calling about parents, that is very tacky behavior from teachers. Every person has had a bad day in thier lives, and none of the teachers making those comments are any better, or perfect. Don't label parents as "crazy" just because a parent had a bad day. At least give them the chance to change things before you pass judgement. And try very hard to be absolutely perfect before you pass judgement, lest ye be judged.

    I disagree. Isn't this the place where we can vent. I dont think anyone was disrespectful to parents, no names were mentioned. There are some crazy parents out there and I think teachers have the right to vent.
     
  30. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    I agree. Everyone is entitled to a bad day, but there are some nuts out there that really need a wake up call. If we didn't vent about the nuts, then we'd end up becoming one ourselves.
     
  31. mommakibby

    mommakibby Rookie

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    This is A Teachers forum, although public, I as a parent have felt very welcome here,,... If teachers cant vent here anonymously to other teachers who felt the same or have had similar events and could give advice through this "venting" why not??? I feel it make my child's teacher a better teacher for asking advice from peers outside his or hers own school system...Isn't it called WORLDY ADVICE?
     
  32. kimrandy1

    kimrandy1 Enthusiast

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    I think that some of this controversy is targeted at me, since I was one of the ones who called a parent "crazy." What would you like for me to have said..."disturbed?" "in need of medication?" "unstable?" Because all of those things would be true, but to me, crazy said it more to the point.

    So, I hope what you're saying is that it's ok for me to think that a parent is "crazy," but that I should never say it to anyone. It's unhealthy to keep frustrations and feelings inside all of the time. Better any venting be done here than in a place where names and faces could be recognized. This is a very valuable resource for teachers to have a place like this where they can freely talk.

    And, by the way, that parent did receive medication the following school year and really improved in her day to day life. I wasn't judging her. She had a problem, and she saw to it that it was fixed. The whole point of this thread isn't about judging or name-calling, it's about inappropriate behavior on the part of parents....
    Kim
     
  33. Miss W

    Miss W Phenom

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    Kim-you know we support you! I don't think you did anything wrong by saying this parent was crazy. It's not like your giving us her name and where she lives. I think all the teachers here will agree with me on this one.
     
  34. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    I'm with you too Kim. I know what you mean:).
     
  35. scrappincrafter

    scrappincrafter Rookie

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    There is nothing "targeted" at anyone. There is no attack on anyone. I've merely said that I am dissapointed to see this.

    Someone else on here has said that this is a place for teachers to vent, but the administrator of this website has said that this is NOT just for teachers, it is for parents, too. So, if parents and teachers are both welcome here, why is ok for one group to be name-calling another group?

    I am a parent who is dissapointed to see this, and I now feel very differently about discussing anything at all with my childrens teachers, for fear that they may see it is being "targeted" or under some sort of attack, since there seem to be several teachers who view my comments this way.

    MOST teachers expect students and parents to be open to constructive criticism.......
     
  36. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    Who was name calling a specific group? I don't see anywhere where someone would be offended to be honest. Being a teacher AND a parent I can relate to everything said on here...and that's just reality.
     
  37. Miss W

    Miss W Phenom

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    I don't think anyone said this was a place for teachers to vent. We said it was okay for teachers to vent on here. I would feel more comfortable with a teacher venting on here, where it is anonymous, than in a teacher's room where all the teachers would know the parent or a student could hear.
     
  38. gigi

    gigi Groupie

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    Nov 18, 2005

    I agree Miss W! It was meant as a comment. Everyone is allowed to vent here, no one meant to target anyone. Calm down ScrappinCrafter, vent away and we teachers will do the same.
     

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