Student crying everyday

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by kifulalo, Oct 15, 2020 at 2:12 AM.

  1. kifulalo

    kifulalo New Member

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    Oct 15, 2020 at 2:12 AM

    I have a girl in much class that has had a hard life. Mom and dad abandoned her and siblings. Grandma has custody but mom is living with them again. She is 8 years old and cries every morning. She refuses to come in the class. Either the principal or guidance counselor has to stay with her in the hall. She just digs in and won’t move. This goes on for 20-40 min depending on the day (yesterday was 40 today 20 min) Everyday she has an excuse why she’s crying. Someone was mean, her sister called her fat, grandma had a dr. appt. Nothing seems to be working. We tried breaks, mystery motivator, games with her older sister, doing a job, candy for coming in, losing time at recess. Nothing works! I email grandma and she just says sorry I don’t know what to tell you. When she finally comes in, she is mostly fine (she has some behavior issues) and wants to be by me all the time and wants my attention non stop. Another problem is the older sister is with her and the older sister is missing 20 min of class time since her sister refuses to have her leave. I did talk to older sister’s teacher today and she was going to email grandma to let her know that she is missing 20 min of school each day. Sister is annoyed and sick of it. Any ideas on what else I can try?
  3. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

    May 8, 2008
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    Oct 16, 2020 at 8:55 AM

    Wow, this is a tough one. Does your school have a guidance counselor? This would be something that would be in their sphere.
  4. txmomteacher2

    txmomteacher2 Enthusiast

    Jul 28, 2005
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    Oct 16, 2020 at 9:38 AM

    I have been exactly where you are. First thing there are too many people giving her attention. Sister needs to be told to go on to class. The bigger production that is made of each day the longer it's going to go on. That does include the principal and the counselor. If you can have your door open and just check on her (as long as she is not a runner) I had a student who cried everyday for 8 hours. The more I let him interfere with the class the louder he got. Of course now I have NO tolerance for any crying whatsoever. I do feel bad for being tough on kids who cry but after 10 months of everyday crying I was over it. I can't even stand to hear kids crying at Walmart.
    Tired Teacher and bella84 like this.
  5. CaliforniaRPCV

    CaliforniaRPCV Companion

    Dec 26, 2009
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    Oct 17, 2020 at 3:28 AM

    This is a recent and sudden change in behavior? What is the policy for bringing in CPS?
  6. bella84

    bella84 Aficionado

    Jul 20, 2012
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    Oct 17, 2020 at 10:24 AM

    I agree that she is getting too much attention for this behavior. She has experienced trauma. Her parents abandoned her. Attention is what she is missing. All this giving in to her is allowing her to get exactly what she is craving. I would recommend giving her a safe space but leaving her alone. When she sees that no one is making a fuss, she'll come in and join the class. Have someone supervise her from a distance for a few days or give her a safe space in the classroom. Be compassionate, but don't coddle her with treats and attention. Let her be, and, eventually, she'll stop the drama when it's not getting her anywhere. It may get worse before it gets better, but it will get better.
    Tired Teacher likes this.
  7. Tired Teacher

    Tired Teacher Groupie

    Jul 31, 2019
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    Oct 18, 2020 at 5:50 AM

    Yes, the over attention needs to stop. It is just reinforcing the behavior. Someone just needs to be casually in the area keeping a discreet eye on her for her safety. ( Not talking to her....) I might try to meet her at the door and say: Do you want to come to the back of the room or sit under my desk? ( In a serious enough voice tone that she knew there were only 2 options.)
    I'd put a pillow, book, and maybe even a stuffed animal at 1st under there to make it more appealing. Then take the incentives 1 by 1 as she gets more used to just coming in w/out a fuss. At 1 time that behavior would annoy me. ( Especially at the
    Then 1 time I had a kid flip out and refuse to come in the room. She was going whacko! Kicking adults who tried to move her. When I found out what had happened that morning, before school, I totally understood why she wanted to go home. It was sad and she never should have been dropped off at school that day.

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