Student Attachment to me. (LONG)

Discussion in 'Special Education' started by Giggles1100, Oct 3, 2008.

  1. Giggles1100

    Giggles1100 Comrade

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    Oct 3, 2008

    I teach a Life skills class and I have been at this school for 3 years and I have a student that is MR, but in our classroom he is high functioning, and works at a 3rd -4th grade level. My student is 21 and will be graduating this year. He is kind of a a behavior problem in that he has a temper and has been sent away a few times, he broke a teachers arm and tried to choke another student. These are not common events, but he does have to be restrained a few times a year . HE has come a long way in 3 years he went from being restrained weekly and blowing up to only being restrained 4 times last year and so far we have beat our record and he has made it longer into the year EVER with out being restrained. I love challenging kids like this and realized he is smart and watching how other people reacted to him was why he acted out. He is one of those students that had a reputation and it followed him and no one gave him a chance, being new one of the first things I told all the teachers around me was that I did not want to know what they wanted to tell me about the students until I had a chance to meet them. I did not want to have preconcieved ideas.

    Anyway, he is a good kid most of the time, loves to learn and really tries hard in all he does, he wants to be an adult and I have found that telling him he can walk the stage this spring graduation has helped diffuse some situations and I got him a job once a week at a local pizza place which has also helped in reinforcing good behaviors. The one problem I have always had with him is that he requires a lot of my time, not my time teaching him,it is him wanting attention. If I reward another student with a good job while I am working one on one, he goes what about me, even though he is at another table working on something else, or he MUST talk to me when I am talking to other people, OR he wants my approval on everything. To some extent I warn him once to finish before asking me stuff and ignoring some of the behaviors, but this year the Life skills dept decided to start team teaching and most of us are in the room at the same time, or in small groups. We have stressed to all the students that although they have had JUST us for all their years here, they are now ALL of our students, so if one teacher is not around they should ask any one of us. It helps that we got a new teacher, so there were only 2 familiar faces. Most of the kids had a hard time at first but have now adapted to it, but not this one boy.

    I have stated several times that he is dependant on me for everything and that he needed to separate from me as much as possible so he can learn to take direction from others so that when he is in the work place he can adapt to multiple managers etc.

    Well he is struggling with this. If I am in my classroom working one on one with a student and his in big group in another room, he does not ask, he just gets up and bolts to my room if another student touches him or if he has a question and I have to take him back and send him to another teacher. I have ignored his requests for help in group time and the other teachers and aids have jumped up and run to him to help him in hopes that this will break his dependancy. But today might just have been the day I finally realized HOW dependant he is on me. Our rooms connect by doorways and we were wasting the last 10 minutes of class by looking at library books and I was on the other side of the room talking with a teacher when he came over and grabbed a chair and sat down at the table by me, I knew he wanted to sit by me he always does. BUT he is also nosy and likes to listen in on our converstations and act like he knows what we talking about. We were discussing grades so we stopped talking and I took the last few minutes to go input those grades. Now mind you I am on the other side of the classroom from my door. and once in my classroom my desk is out of sight unless you stand in the doorway. I have not been at my desk more than 2 minutes when I look up and see that he got up himself walked across the classroom and grabbed a chair and put it by the door way so he could see me and probably try to talk to me. That's when it hit! He is following me. He is agitated when I am out of the room most times also. I do not feel he is in love with me, but I do not know what it is.

    He is on a BIP for his behaviors and I am really the only one who can difuse him and I am working very hard to not have to restrain him this year or have to have another ARD for a NEW BIP or anything because he is graduating (SOmething he should have done 2 years ago,but that is just my own oppinion) I have told every one do not do anything that might have to cause a restraint, I have one teacher who once he gets mad takes a bad tone with him which pisses him off. I am still following the BIP, he has a behavior chart which he keeps up himself and then we go over each day before he leaves to make sure I agree with his points. I have been able to add rewards to his chart to help his social skills, he does not talk to his peers even if they talk to him, and he kind of scares them, he wants to talk to me or another adult. I have been working very hard to get him more social and I have seen a difference in him from 3 years ago, but I am not sure if he gets it. He cannot tell if I am annoyed by my tones and I just do not know what to do to help break this detachment.

    Like I said I am biding my time to graduate him but I just don't know how much longer it will be before he bolts to my room because a student moved his paper and in the process hurts someone or get frustrated because I am not there.

    WOW! This is long, if you are still with me I would love to hear your feedback.
     
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  3. SwOcean Gal

    SwOcean Gal Devotee

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    Oct 7, 2008

    Wow. By reading this I can see you have made an immense difference in his life. You are a truly dedicated teacher.
    It seems like you have tried to limit your interactions with him and have other team teachers help, but he is not taking well with that. Is there any way you could maybe work with your small group in another room for a short period of time each day so as to force this student to seek the help/directives of other teachers? Or where he could be in a different room with different teachers for a short period of time? Maybe you could leave the room for varying increments of time while he is working so he can become less dependent on you? Then after he has worked with other teachers, he could have time with you or you could just offer him encouragement and say I seen how well you worked with _____ today! That is great.

    I hope some of this at least helps- I am not sure though because I am still in school studying to teach K- this is out of my league. I know there are other teachers on here who know a lot more and will chime in soon! I hope you keep us updated. I would love to hear what ultimately works in this situation and what you decide to do. Best wishes.
     
  4. Giggles1100

    Giggles1100 Comrade

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    Oct 7, 2008

    Unfortunately I have been doing just that, and he will jump up and run out of the room to ask me questions instead of them or just get up to go see where I am. Today I kind of close dhim off all together and he worked better with the other teachers but they said he kept trying to leave, I guess this is the only way we are going to have to do it. I hate that I feel that I am being mean to him, but he does not think I am being mean.

    Thanks!
     
  5. SwOcean Gal

    SwOcean Gal Devotee

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    Oct 7, 2008

    What if, IDK if it is necessary, but if so, why don't you tell him you are stepping out for a few moments and going to the office (or somewhere inaccessible to him- if that is even an option) while he is working on ______ with ______. Maybe that would make him stay in his seat and continue working with the other teachers- and then get some positive reinforcement from you when you return.

    I wish you the best and I hope something works for you soon!
     
  6. Giggles1100

    Giggles1100 Comrade

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    Oct 7, 2008

    Yes, I do need to be more positive about it, and I, in the past have not been telling him I was going, I just left with other students etc. Maybe if I did tell him I was going, while he is working with another teacher and I will be back it might be better.

    You know it is so funny, we Special Ed teachers get so in a rut that we cannot see outside of our rooms, then someone comes along and offers you a suggestion that is so basic, that you just want to smack your head and go "DUH! Why didn't I think of that!"

    Thanks!
     
  7. SwOcean Gal

    SwOcean Gal Devotee

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    Oct 9, 2008

    I think we can all relate to getting boxed in and not thinking outside our own rooms!
    Have you tried anything new? I am curious how it is going, I know it has only been a day and results are usually not that evident, but when you do see something, I would love to hear what you did and what happened.
     
  8. Giggles1100

    Giggles1100 Comrade

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    Oct 9, 2008

    Ok, I had a coming to God talk with him this morning and showed him on his schedule that I am not his teacher 2 periods a day and then I did reiterate before I left the room how well I liked how he was working in Mrs. Wills room, then I made a point to pull him into my class at the end of the day to work with him. It has been one day, we will see if this transfer over after the weekend, I may have to redo this each week.
     

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