Still very involved in my 8th grader son's homework..is this ok???

Discussion in 'Secondary Education' started by thesub, Sep 29, 2016.

  1. thesub

    thesub Comrade

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    He has a disability - he was born deaf but wears cochlear implants, has an IEP and an excellent staff in his school who have given him study links, resources and materials to study smart. But he does not use these resources - keeps sticking to his "packet" and handouts.

    He does get tired at the end of school day with trying to listen and then an karate class. We try to give him breaks from karate now and then.

    But I still have to check his agenda daily and log into the parent portal to make sure he turned in his homework. When he was in grade 7, I stepped back to let him be in charge of his learning. He kept forgetting to submit his hw/or turned them late/lost them, did badly in tests etc. So now I am nervous to let him take responsbility for his learning

    My big question is: (forget the disability for a moment)do other parents also get so deeply into their kids' homework in junior HS??? How do I get him to understand that the "packet" is not the only material and he should check out other resources too? Is this a boy thing???


    Thank you so much,
    thesub
     
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  3. GemStone

    GemStone Habitué

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    I have two teenagers. While they were in junior high, I monitored their grades and enforced consequences and rewards. What's the consequence for him not meeting your expectations?
     
  4. GemStone

    GemStone Habitué

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    Also, before imposing consequences, make sure he knows how to use his resources and how they connect to his assignments.
     
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  5. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    I'm currently teaching grade 7, but have taught grade 8 in the past. If my students are struggling with completing and submitting homework independently, I need to know about it. Then, I can have a meeting with the student and the parent to develop a plan to help make them more successful. All three parties (teacher, student and parent) will have a role in the plan--with the parent being the least involved. He is plenty old enough to take some responsibility in being successful.
     
  6. teacherintexas

    teacherintexas Maven

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    I was the stepmom to a sophomore boy. I checked his backpack, his phone, and the online grade book when dad worked late and couldn't do it himself. The boy wasn't too happy about it but got taken off restriction when he got his act together.
     
  7. thesub

    thesub Comrade

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    Gemstone: consequences: No computer games and using it only for hw. He is a good kid generally.
    But did u check your kid's homework EVERY DAY to make sure they had the right answers and did not lose credit for silly mistakes???

    Using resources: In his elementary days, he would not go on Study Island for extra practice for tests. Now he does not go on ConnectEd (McGraw Hill) to do math practice exercises. His science teacher said he can use StudyStack.com but he will not use it unless I nag him.

    Mrs. C: I am Mrs. C too in a school where I am a p/t aide!!!I am in touch with his teachers. He has a sped teacher in the core subjects who modifies materials for him if needed.
     
  8. thesub

    thesub Comrade

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    Thank you all - so it seems like a boy thing rather than disability related, right???
     
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  9. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    This isn't something I ever did. I'd offer guidance if they asked for it, but that's it.
     
  10. teacherintexas

    teacherintexas Maven

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    Yes. We checked every thing. Every day.
     
  11. GemStone

    GemStone Habitué

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    I did not check it every day. I didn't have time. And they were responsible for checking their own work. They got grounded for poor grades.
     
  12. GemStone

    GemStone Habitué

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    I don't see how it is a boy thing. Both genders can be industrious or obstinate.
     
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  13. swansong1

    swansong1 Virtuoso

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    I don't have a problem with parents monitoring their child's homework. I do have a problem with making the child correct mistakes. I use those mistakes to guide my teaching. I need to know what my students don't understand so I can reteach the concept before they bomb a test.
     
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  14. Tulipteacher

    Tulipteacher Companion

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    .
     
    Last edited: Jan 17, 2017
  15. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    I do a quick check of homework for completion, but not for accuracy. We'll go over a few questions together as a class, but it is never graded. I tell my students, and their parents, that if they don't understand homework, or are getting lots of errors, to put it aside and ask me about it the next day. My job is to reteach, provide extra support and practice for my students so that they understand concepts. I don't expect, or want, parents to be taking this on. Parents of adolescents have more than enough struggles with their children at times; I don't want homework to be one of those struggles.

    At most, I'd let your son's teachers know that he doesn't seem to understand how to use the extra resources that have been provided. Let them pick it up and go from there.
     
  16. a2z

    a2z Virtuoso

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    Modifies or accommodates? Modifying work is extreme if there are no other disabilities beyond having a working cochlear implant.

    There may be more than just boy if using on-line sites as always been a problem. Does he have a SLD or other disability beyond the hearing?
     
  17. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

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    I know as an 8th grader, I was TERRIBLE about homework and would lie to my parents about what was due. You're doing the right thing by checking Parent Portal on a regular basis. Perhaps, as your son begins that transition to high school, you can start checking a little less often but at regular intervals. Lengthen those intervals as your son shows more self-motivation and responsibility. Talk with him about this, but also include the caveat that you will increase your intervals if his work requires it.
     
  18. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    Honestly, in my experience it's unusual for a parent of an 8th grader to be "very involved" with homework. Checking to make sure that homework has been done and checking grades online once or twice per week is fine, but I would not expect the parent of an 8th grader to be walking the student through the homework or checking for accuracy. If a parent does too much of that, it starts to veer into special snowflake territory, and the work reflects less the ability of the student and more the perseverance of the parent.

    What kinds of modifications are being made for him? What are the terms of his IEP?
     
  19. thesub

    thesub Comrade

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    But as a parent, it's distressing me to see that my kid gets the value of x but forgets to use this to figure out 3 consecutive numbers or the ages of 3 brothers etc. I'm not sure if his math teacher is emphasizing this part - I will email him.
     
  20. thesub

    thesub Comrade

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    Is "snowflake territory" like helicopter parenting?? I do want to step back but whenever I do a random check, my kiddo definitely messes up algebra 1 and forgets to practise piano etc (his electives) or something else happens - catch-22, eh? Doesn't he need to get into good studying habits before 9th grade when the college transcripts kick in??

    His IEP states he will get extra time in tests, bring his own headphones for listening tests, he will always be in a room with a sped teacher.

    Thank you for your thoughts.
     
  21. thesub

    thesub Comrade

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    I will try - thank you so much.
     
  22. thesub

    thesub Comrade

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    He has balance issues and does not do basketball, baseball like his peers since he finds it hard to keep up with their speed.

    His teachers in elementary schools used to give him graphic organizers for ILA but I don't think this is part of IEP anymore. As per IEP last year, he can get extra time for tests, bring his own headphones for listening to videos and answering questions. His IEP will be up for review next month

    Thank you!
     
  23. thesub

    thesub Comrade

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    Thank you all so much for helping me think through this situation. My husband and I get into fights because we cannot figure out to cut back our support. Education is very important to us - we are originally from India and I feel this is the only tool we have to succeed here. My son has no athletic or artistic abilities but neither do I or my husband.
     
  24. a2z

    a2z Virtuoso

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    I sent you a PM.
     
  25. a2z

    a2z Virtuoso

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    What is his reason for not wanting to use the other information?
     
  26. thesub

    thesub Comrade

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    "the teacher gave us the study guide for test and studaystack.com is only extra practice and I don't need it"
     
  27. a2z

    a2z Virtuoso

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    Thanks.

    Well, if his test scores are good, there isn't much you can do to convince him to do more. If he is performing lower than his ability then you can point out his grades and how using the resources could help him learn the information he failed to learn.
     

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