Spouses....

Discussion in 'Elementary Education' started by brandi0718, Jul 27, 2008.

  1. brandi0718

    brandi0718 Comrade

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    My husband always fusses when I buy stuff for my classroom....he wants to know why I need the pillows or why I need the crayons and notebooks.......does anyone else have this problem???
     
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  3. Lysander

    Lysander Companion

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    I'm fortunate that my partner is also a teacher, but I understand the dilemma. Is it possible that you could set a yearly budget, explaining that you need things the school simply does not supply? If he knows that you are sticking to what you budgeted (I wince even writing that, since I KNOW how hard that is!), perhaps he will understand. You could also invite him to spend a day with you in your classroom (with permission of your principal, of course). He could then see how important the things you buy are to really helping the students. I challenge him to resist a class of first graders looking adoringly at you and giving him the random hugs that first graders are famous for.
     
  4. trayums

    trayums Enthusiast

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    Hahaha my husband does the same thing so I don't show him... Sneaky-- I keep it in my car so he doesn't get upset that the school district doesn't give us more money for classroom set up stuff.
     
  5. brandi0718

    brandi0718 Comrade

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    The idea of him visiting the class is a good idea...I don't think he would stay long lol.....
     
  6. Mrs.SLF

    Mrs.SLF Comrade

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    my boyfriend fusses and he is also a teacher. I used to buy A LOT of stuff when I taught elementary but I haven't bought much for middle school. Haha...I have also gotten into the habit of hiding stuff that I purchased.
     
  7. Ghost

    Ghost Habitué

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    The worst dh was, was when I purchased my own overhead and when I purchased a refridgerator. But he saw my room and understood that sped. gets sloppy seconds if they get any at all. Besides, he claimed it as a deduction. :)
     
  8. leighbball

    leighbball Virtuoso

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    My boyfriend makes comments and tells me sometimes that he'll want to keep track of my purchases when we get married. lol
     
  9. mrsw2

    mrsw2 Rookie

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    Before I got married I never worried about what I spent for my classroom, of course I didn't have a mortgage or a lot of the other things that go along with being married. Now that I'm married I always tell my husband what I need and what I am going to buy. He knows I don't get very much money from the school district, so he understands. He's really great about it. In return I try to spread my purchases out over the summer for the upcoming school year that way I don't spend tons of money in August. I think the only thing you can do is be truthful about what you need for school and sit down and explain why you need those things to your boyfriend/husband. Eventually, he'll be on your side!
     
  10. uclalum

    uclalum Groupie

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    My dh is better about it now than he was a few years ago. But then again, a few years ago I was spending way more money.
     
  11. born2teach84

    born2teach84 Comrade

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    mine is the same...and he still hasn't changed...each year I spend less and now he knows that I have to....I just leave it in the car and when he asks I tell him but I don't share with him :)
     
  12. brandi0718

    brandi0718 Comrade

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    yeah...i think my problem is that i am a 2nd year teacher...i started off in a room with NOTHING but desks...and i am trying to build up my supplies...maybe it will get better as the yrs go by.
     
  13. terptoteacher

    terptoteacher Connoisseur

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    muah ha ha ha what dh doesn't know......:p
     
  14. Lysander

    Lysander Companion

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    I was in Wal-Mart yesterday walking by the Back-to-School sales of school supplies. I am so proud of myself that I didn't buy anything! Of course, this is because I bought so much the previous years, I have a surplus, but hey!
     
  15. Matt633

    Matt633 Comrade

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    I have kidded about hiding things from my hubby but really he understands that I put my heart and soul into teaching and having "things" that I want makes me happier and let's face it we are in our classrooms for a major part of waking hours.
     
  16. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Phenom

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    We have summer school right now so there isn't a week that goes by where I don't need to buy something new. My supply cabinet has a lot of things in it that I reuse but there are things that get used up that need to be replaced now and then. My hubby can't understand why I need to buy so much stuff. Yesterday, I bought some M&Ms for the class and he said, "Why didn't you buy me any"? :lol:
     
  17. Chevygirl97

    Chevygirl97 Companion

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    I hide stuff in my car too, but his schedule is so crazy that he's not home enough for me to have to hide much. He hatehatehates going to Target with me...and if he does, he grabs my arm and "guides' me past the $1 bins...!!
     
  18. loves2teach

    loves2teach Enthusiast

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    My dh is pretty good, but it does bother him sometimes. He gets mad when I buy things that the parents should/could provide. I asked him about it, and he said he doesn't care- he just wishes I was more appreciated :)
     
  19. Grace

    Grace Companion

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    Haha I don't think my husband quite understands, but this morning he came into the bedroom and said, "I set out the Office Depot, Staples, and Office Max ads... I know you were looking at those sales." He even sent me to Ikea to get stuff for my reading center yesterday!
     
  20. sherri0318

    sherri0318 Rookie

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    yep - like he's my dang father or something! I just tell him - "I make a paycheck, so it's none of your **** business what I spend on my classroom!" (oh yeah, it gets ugly.......but I truly don't care - I put in my half for the bills, so the rest of my paycheck is MINE MINE MINE!!!) :)
     
  21. brandi0718

    brandi0718 Comrade

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    Grace- thats really nice of your husband....I think I would pass out if mine did that!
     
  22. brandi0718

    brandi0718 Comrade

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    LOL...thats how i feel.....I am the ONLY one in my family that works...and by george if I have to have crayons or paint for work then i HAVE to have them!!!
     
  23. sherri0318

    sherri0318 Rookie

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    I've also tried "explaining" to him (I always win with my hubby if I'm the victim....especially when there's TEARS involved......lol) that if buying this stuff makes MY JOB/LIFE easier, then by gosh by golly, it's WORTH IT! ;)
     
  24. teach_each1

    teach_each1 Comrade

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    yes but mostly because we work in different districts. His district provides their teachers with a lot more-he's more upset that more districts don't step in and support thier teachers more.
     
  25. brandi0718

    brandi0718 Comrade

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    teach each1---i see his point...like i said earlier i was a 1st year teacher last yr and i came into a room with no supplies what so ever and to top that off the district didnt give me 1 dime for my room....until the end of april and that was only bc i told them i was running out of everything and i could not afford to buy it.....all but me and one of the other teachers got money from the district but they had to choose 2 not to recieve any and i was one of the lucky ones! i hope it doesnt happen this year.
     
  26. GoldenPoppy

    GoldenPoppy Habitué

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    I'm one of the very lucky ones...I buy whatever I want for my classroom, would never think of hiding it from my husband, and talk about everything that I buy. He quite often finds materials he thinks I could use...sometimes he gives me the information, but sometimes he just goes ahead and gets it for me.

    I can also leave a list when I leave for school and he's out running errands. When I get home all the things I needed are on the table. He runs my classroom website, goes on field trips with us when I need another driver, and has been going through resumes with me for the teacher we're hiring. He's a keeper.
     
  27. brandi0718

    brandi0718 Comrade

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    Goldenpoppy---i agree....he is a keeper!!!!
     
  28. Major

    Major Connoisseur

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    Using tears is UNFAIR................:p:p:p..
     
  29. brandi0718

    brandi0718 Comrade

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    Not if it gets the job done! :)
     
  30. swansong1

    swansong1 Virtuoso

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    GoldenPoppy...I must be married to your husband's brother...except he can't go on field trips because of his job. But he is always willing to shop with me and helps me do stuff in my room. We have an arrangement with our paychecks...we both pay some of the bills and whatever is left is ours to do what we want with. When I run out...I just ask him for more!!
     
  31. Mable

    Mable Enthusiast

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    In the past, I was sneaky. But since my husband is starting his teaching career, I have to buy his stuff now.
     
  32. Missy99

    Missy99 Connoisseur

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    Mine hasn't said anything -- yet. Maybe it's because we have separate checking accounts :lol:
     
  33. pwhatley

    pwhatley Maven

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    My dh was horrible for a while. "You've been buying stuff for 2 years - and now you need more?" I got sick of it, so I explained that:
    1. Caddo Parish and/or Louisiana neither one have a dedicated school tax, because the VOTERS have declined to vote on in (He used to think it was the district being stingy. They are, but that's a different story, lol!)
    2. I tried the "mechanic's tools" analogy, but he still didn't buy it.
    3. Finally, I explained that the kids I will be teaching come to school every day, rain or shine, sick or well, because the 2 meals they will receive at school may be the only meals they get that day.
    4. I reminded him of his horrified reaction when he learned that one of my 3rd graders last year wore the exact same pair of shoes daily.
    5. I asked him why it was okay for him to spend tons of money toward and for a prison ministry in which he is heavily involved, and not for me, when my students will be my ministry. If I don't take the time to reach and teach these kids, it is possible that no one will, and these children are killing each other (not long after first grade)!
    6. My lasts comment was: if teachers only agreed to teach at the "country club" schools with great PTAs and tons of money, then no one would teach where we are probably most needed.

    He hasn't complained since! He's even helping me look for a rug (or rugs) for my classroom, and right now, he's busily cutting Xs into tennis balls for my class! :wub:
     
  34. brandi0718

    brandi0718 Comrade

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    I need to use your arguement Pwhatley....it is all so true....these kids are our ministry and they kids need to be reached early on in their life and a lot of their parents arent doing that.....i learned that lesson quick in my 1st year of teaching...
     
  35. TeacherC

    TeacherC Connoisseur

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    My husband is always frustrated at the beginning of the summer, but yesterday at Target when I was filling up the cart with the $1 puzzles, he just looked at me and sighed...lol. I think he knows who wins that battle! (And a side note: we used to be able to keep receipts and claim it all, but I think last year they told me we could only claim things that we more than $2500!! Does that sound right to anyone else?)
     
  36. GoldenPoppy

    GoldenPoppy Habitué

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    beckysuek :), yes they must be brothers!

    This morning he's researching interview questions for me...we're hiring an English and a Latin teacher at school and I'm going to be going phone interview later this week before I turn the best applicants over to my director. I didn't even have to ask for any help; he just got busy.
     
  37. Jem

    Jem Aficionado

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    I wear the same pair of shoes daily.... :eek:
     
  38. Historyteaching

    Historyteaching Cohort

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    Amen girl!
     
  39. Historyteaching

    Historyteaching Cohort

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    I'm not married, so I don't have this situation. But my mom was a teacher and my father never said a word. Mom does all the bills, he doesn't know what they pay out. He is like a couple others on here, helped her out in picking out supplies and decor. He never asks what she buys and why..on anything. We've gone shopping and show him the purchases, he just says Nice and Hope you had fun. I need to find someone like that......
     
  40. pwhatley

    pwhatley Maven

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    Jem,
    I bet your shoes fit you and they aren't falling apart. Hers required but had no laces, and the soles were splitting apart. Not to mention that they were filthy & smelled to high heaven!
     
  41. pwhatley

    pwhatley Maven

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    Actually, Historyteaching -

    Sorry for the hijack, but your dad is in a dangerous position. If something were to happen to your mom, would he even know where to begin with the finances? My m-i-l is the same way, and my dh & I have been trying like crazy to get her interested in the "family" finances. She doesn't even balance her checkbook!
     

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