Discussion in 'Debate & Marathon Threads Archive' started by mom2ohc, Dec 3, 2011.
Dec 5, 2011
Oh and all of a sudden now the teacher has emailed me several times today. hmph.
I just wondered. I know when we talked about putting tubes in my son's ears we got a 2nd opinion (but he was only 7 mos. old at the time). But then there were a couple of other things that he's had done that we didn't.
When my oldest was young we SHOULD have found another doctor for a 2nd opinion because the 1st said my oldest would grow into the adenoids and tonsils and did not require surgery for that. We just had tubes based on the doctors opinion and my child continued to suffer with drainage out the tubes for years (believe it or not those tubes stayed in for years). It wasn't for years later and continuing issues that a head x-ray was done that showed unbelievably huge adenoids. Doc that operated, a different one, said he never has seen tonsils and adenoids that large on a child that age.
I think it all depends on the situation and how long symptoms have persisted. Also, what other symptoms may have been going on like ear infections, sore throats, strep throat, allergy-like congestion, etc. My child went from continually congested and often sick to not getting sick for years.
I agree with Alice! You want to Gibbs slap some teachers when they have the attitude they know it all.... Wow, mom actually knows something? Imagine that! How can that happen?
I can imagine that your child's teacher is going to start sucking up because she probably has realized she has stepped in some mighty deep do-do with her attitude.
Just curious-- that last email you sent her-- had you cc'ed the principal???
Dec 6, 2011
No I haven't CC'd the principal yet, I am trying to go through the proper chain of command. I do not want to be "that mom" Do you think I should have sent it to her principal?
It sounds like the teacher e-mailed you. I'd work closely with the teacher and see if you can work it out with her. If you can't your daughter is SO, SO worth being labeled "That mom". Some of the times I could have really, really helped children but parents didn't communicate with me how and I asked why..they'd always say the same thing--I don't want to be "that mom". Ugh! So many children not helped because of a silly image.
I agree with you in following the chain of command, but careful of the phrase "that mom". Some of those mothers are heroes to me for standing up for their children.
Silly image? Why do you say it is a silly image?
'That mom' is typically marginalized by the staff at the school and this information is passed on like a BAD game of TELEPHONE. Soon the whole school knows about 'that mom' or whatever version of the story that was passed on has become. Crazy, mean, poor parent, etc are typical responses to 'that mom'. The child's problems are minimized or the child is treated differently when 'that mom' is in the picture. This treatment ranges from ignoring problems to avoid 'that mom' or worse yet, poor treatment from resenting having to deal with that mom. Sometimes it makes mom back off when the child is used as a pawn by the teacher, and believe me it does happen too often.
I don't think it is a silly image but a valid concern. However, I do understand that someone that doesn't have a school where this happens or hasn't had to deal with a school on the parental level that works this way may see it as a silly image. Don't walk into the school lounge where I am, you would be shocked.
I repeat words and use them in sentences.
I make sure students look at my mouth when I'm saying the word- especially if there are a few close words it might be.
Many students have issues understanding what is said even if they head it. I'd make sure to make accommodations.
a2z. Okay "silly image" isn't the best way to phrase it--point taken.
My point is that I have had very serious issues not reported to me due to parents who are so concerned about being labeled "that parent". I believe that a parent's child is important enough to risk being labeled "that parent"--especially when the issue is serious. I think parents forget that often "that parent" is not the parent who reports an issue professionally, but one who is verbally abusive to teachers/administrators. It is just sad to me how many outstanding parents I have seen who have an opportunity to stand up for their child and don't. It seems more and more are so scared to do so--so they don't. Yes, I understand how hard it is to do this, I just believe it is worth it.
That is not always the case. Look at the OP's situation. She told the teacher, more than likely in a very professional manner, that her child was experiencing hearing loss. What did this teacher do? Assume the OP was incorrect, and her newly learned diagnosis for her own child fit that of the OP's child because they have similar behaviors. This is why teacher's should not be diagnosing students just objectively reporting behaviors because things like partial hearing loss WILL look like ADHD or ADHD primarily inattentive. When OP tried to communicate with the teacher the teacher started dog-piling "new problems" on the list of concerns. In the eyes of the teacher, the child and the parent were the problem. She was quickly becoming 'that mom' with a teacher who somehow thinks her knowledge is superior to the mom's.
Now, I agree that parents with the concern of being labelled 'that mom' can also cause communication problems with a teacher that wants to truly work with the parent, but the example in this thread does show that this is not always the case.
Where do you think this relationship would have gone if mom couldn't get her child checked for another few months for some reason? It would have broken down terribly with the teacher insisting the child has ADHD and would view the child in that terms and mom as a problem parent that is in denial. How long do you think most parents would remain completely professional with a teacher that is not. And worse, if the administration backs the teacher completely, mom would look like the 'fruitcake' because mom would be pushing to get the child on the right track.
How many weeks would it take for the frustration of mom to move from professional communication to curt communication to completely frustrated communication. Most would move there rather quickly.
Dec 7, 2011
I think some here were quick to jump all over the teacher without knowing the full story.
Yes the teacher made a mistake with the ADD comment, but we all make mistakes and say something we later realize we should not have, teachers are human, not perfect.
The teacher may also have been wrong to ignore the parents comments about a hearing problem and say that the student has focus issues, but in reality most of us have probably come across students where this was the case. If the symptoms in the classroom seemed to be similar to what the teacher has seen in the past, it is reasonable to jump to that same conclusion. Most teachers have worked with parents who made excuses for their student and did not want to face the reality of a situation.
This situation turned out to be different than that, but it is easy to see how a teacher could make those mistakes. It does not mean that the teacher was not doing her job, had it in for this parent/student, or is a moron. Teachers make mistakes, it happens. We need to remember that, because we don't want someone jumping down our throats the next time we make a mistake and they don't necessarily have all of the facts and understanding.
*Again, I am not saying that this teacher was blameless, we just need to remember the positions we are in and how it is easy to misread things.
Well said, Bob. Most of us do make mistakes-or at least admit to doing so!!
Yes, you're right that is not always the case. You did clearly show the problems that can happens when an administrator or teacher handles problems unprofessionally. I don't disagree with you. My point was much more general. Mine has to do with just beginning the communication process with the teacher and administration. I also think (as it seems that you agree with) that her problem is worth "fighting" for. I'd hate to see her give up because the teacher is being uncooperative.
thanks for your pov. I am not giving up.
I repeat the words as many times as necessary until I'm confident all the kids have heard them.
I'm assessing their spelling, not their attentiveness.
I don't care if the kid has ADD, deafness, or a bad hang over. If I don't think they hear the word, I repeat it.
Dec 8, 2011
This is the only way that makes sense to me.
I think most teachers will say the word multiple times during the test.
Ex. say the word, sentence, repeats the word.
I will say that I rarely will repeat words at the end of the test if students missed one during. I tell the students to be responsible and pay attention. Somestimes at the end of a test if a student missed a word they will ask their neighbor what #7 was instead of asking me because they know I will get irritated. Other students will still ask, sometimes I tell them, sometimes I don't.
Dec 31, 2011
Is this a documented hearing problem or "selective hearing"? First, if the school nurse has not checked her hearing, I would make that a priority, and then take it from there. Can the child complete the spelling test 1:1 without any background noise or interference? Also, document the child's behavior during the spelling test - is she looking right at you, is she fiddling in her desk, is she disturbing other children, staring off into space?
Just so you know, the child did need to have tubes and has since had a great hearing test and is moving to another teacher's class. There was additional information shared on another post detailing why and explaining the hearing information.
Jan 1, 2012
School nurses aren't good for anything aside from calling parents to pick kids up and giving them cough drops.
At least in my district (Where one time, when I was there because I was experiencing unknown side effects from one of my anti-seizure meds, there was a student having asthma issues. The nurse pulled a random student's inhaler out of her desk and told the student to take it)
It'd be better to have the district SLP/audiologist do an evaluation in hearing
While I wouldn't say that's all they're good for, I agree that their tests are not good enough for any diagnostics. My son passed his vision screening but his teacher later let me know he couldn't see the blackboard. We took him to the doctor, and his vision was 20/70. I would also never rely on their hearing tests.
Wow, our school nurse was an army nurse and worked in a pediatricians office for many years, on top of that she treated most of the parents of current students. I agree that the screenings are not sufficient, but our nurse is pretty amazing in an emergency.
That's quite a sweeping statement...
Jan 2, 2012
That is so NOT true! Maybe 20 years ago all they did was hand out bandaids, but the school nurse of today is invaluable. She is the one person in school who knows about at times 400+ kids, their health histories, family situations, allergies, issues both educational and health-related, responsible for all screenings, bus drills AND in her "free" time, is scheduled to come into each classroom to teach health lessons. Now this year in NJ she is also a part of the anti-bullying teams in each school. She keeps track of all epi-pens, inahlers, nebulizers, and trains the staff in their use and assigns staff members to be back-up for emergencies. She not only is responsible for the students' health issues, she also runs screenings for the staff, such as blood pressure, lice, etc.
That is quite a statement to have made!:huh: