Social Anxiety

Discussion in 'General Education' started by Bumble, Aug 30, 2009.

  1. Bumble

    Bumble Groupie

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    I get social anxiety when around adults to the point that it is hard for me to articulate what I want to say. I met my new P. I felt rather intimidated and my anxiety got out of control. I'm a rather soft spoken person and have an issue speaking up to adults, especially since I'm new and young. Does anyone else have this issue and what do you do to calm the anxiety?

    Thanks!
     
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  3. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    I don't communicate well with adults either. I'm pretty certain I come off as country-dumb which is quite frustrating. I think it has improved in the past few years, but it's still sometimes a struggle. I have no advice but wish to tell you that with so many things, experience proves helpful.
     
  4. Major

    Major Connoisseur

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    Bumble, I wish I could help. I've seen and know LOTS of people with social anxiety. You are not alone.

    I'm very fortunate..... I've never experienced this problem. (I can work a room with the best...:):))..... But many of my friends experience the same anxieties that you do.

    There are countless sites on the web that discuss this. Just google and you will find that to be true.

    Wishing the best for you.....

    Major..........:):):)

    PS... PM me any time.......
     
  5. Zelda~*

    Zelda~* Devotee

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    I have SAD. Have to take meds for it. Then I'm on an even keel and able to speak with adults without fritzing out. :D
     
  6. MsTeckel

    MsTeckel Comrade

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    I was diagnosed with social anxiety disorder. I was put on Paxil and still on it. I tried to take myself off it, but went through withdrawals and panic attacks that I dont wish on anyone.

    I also stutter so that doesnt help my situation. Im so much more comfortable in front of the kids then adults. I deal with it. The more i know about a subject the more I can articulate it and feel more confident about it. I wing it at school and come home to myself and do my own thing.

    I think the medication has helped alot, its gotten me out in public. Go to stores and start talking up the cashiers at first. I m not really sure what I have done to help, but I have slowly became more confident in myself and my ability to speak to adults. My problems happen in IEP meets with parents that Im not that comfortable with.

    Im probably not much help, but you're not alone. I never thought I could teach because I hated being around alot of people. I still dont like big groups, but the more you expose yourself to different surroundings, the better you'll be.
     
  7. MissH225

    MissH225 Comrade

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    I don't have trouble speaking to adults....but I feel like I'm a better listener. I am soft spoken until I'm comfortable with a person. Basically I'm just shy but will say what I need to say if I need to say it.

    I'm always worried about what people think of me. I just don't do a lot of the small talk thing. Which is kinda of funny b/c I was in a sorority and during recruitment I was the biggest chatterbox....I guess it was because I had too. This is the same in interviews, once I get going I just keep going(talking wise)...And when I do get comfortable with a teacher I am working a lot with (like I did last year as an IA and then this year as a partner teacher) I have no problem chatting up a storm, then again silence doesn't bother me either...

    This year I told myself I'm at a new school and would talk more but I'm already scared I'm not doing that. I love the team on and feel comfortable. I'm young, inexperienced and really I think I worry too much....I always smile and say hi to people so it's not like I'm giving off a bad vibe people probably just see me as quite, which isn't bad I've seen plenty of quiet teachers (around adults)who are magnificent teachers!

    It will be better I'm sure....
     
  8. TennisPlayer

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    I think you have been given great advice so far! It helps me when I view the person I'm talking to as someone nice and friendly even if I don't know them that well and talk as if you were talking to a friend. Are you nervous around your friends?

    People don't know how we're feeling/thinking all the time unless we look different/sick. I have to remind myself that because if I'm feeling anxious I think "oh what are they seeing right now?!"

    Have you tried Rescue Remedy? It's recommended by Naturopath Doctors and it's safe and effective whenever you need to calm your mind. My doctor described it for when you feeling like a train that's half way off the tracks this helps you get back on the right track.
     
  9. Bumble

    Bumble Groupie

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    Thank you for all of the responses! I'm so glad that I'm not the only one. I had a speech/learning disability when I was in elementary school, so I think that is the root of it. Tennisplayer, I'm going to try that rescue remedy. A wholefoods is suppose to be opening right next to my place within the coming week or so. I force myself to talk to people around my apartment complex, but I always feel awkward. It'll take time.
     
  10. MsTeckel

    MsTeckel Comrade

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    Bumble, my stutter was horrible when I was younger. Im 99.9 percent sure that it was the cause of my social anxiety disorder. Why talk, when Im just gonna be made fun of? It will take time. My stutter got better as time went on, but is still there. Good luck!
     
  11. Bumble

    Bumble Groupie

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    Thanks! I had a stutter too and was made fun of.
     
  12. janney

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    I have trouble talking in front of adult crowds. I try to get it in my head that I am teaching them something then I feel a bit more comfortable.

    I have to remind myself in everyday situations that I should use a louder voice and make eye contact with the random people that I talk to. The best thing that my mom ever did for me when I was younger was she made me ask my own questions and buy my own things at the store and make my own phone calls (I think this was because she didn't want to do it herself though :) ).
     
  13. MsTeckel

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    My parents were just the opposite. They always ordered for me and called people for me and so on....That didnt help any. Whatever the reason, its great that your mom did that for you
     
  14. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    I also received speech services for several years...and the issue isn't 100% resolved, so that probably has something to do with my nervousness as well.
     
  15. bros

    bros Phenom

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    I see a therapist for my social phobia/anxiety. You might want to look into a LCSW you can see (they can't prescribe medication, but they can give you tips and tricks and help you out of it, it seems to be helping me. I'm able to talk to people on the phone now)
     
  16. bros

    bros Phenom

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    Same here. I had stuttering issues (I still stutter, but only when extremely nervous (when I start to pace and wring my hands) along with issues with pronouncing a bunch of letters.

    The nervousness could be caused by a past feeling of helplessness when you had difficulty speaking
     
  17. Ms. I

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    I'm the shy type who's not necessarily scared or intimidated by other adults, however, I think I can hold my own. All I can say is start off slowly by getting to know each of your colleagues one-on-one, rather than in a big group right away (if you can help it). That way, you'll each get to know each other pretty well & you won't feel so invisible when it comes time to being in a group because they should be more acquiescent & warm towards you since you won't be such a stranger. Maybe try to pick a different person each week to ask to lunch or do some project together. I'm sure this won't be asy to single others out to be w/ , but you can try.
     
  18. KinderCowgirl

    KinderCowgirl Phenom

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    I didn't even like to talk in a faculty meeting (even when it was just a few people) when I started teaching-I would get flustered, my hands would literally shake and my face would get red. :blush: Put me in front of 100 kids and I was fine-but parents or other teachers-forget it.

    Last week I did 2 trainings for the entire staff. I did a little bit at a time. Challenged myself to just say something, anything - if it sounded stupid then so be it. Gradually it just got better and I developed more confidence. I'm not saying I could go out and give a speech now or anything, but I can talk to the staff, P or parents without the physical symptoms of the anxiety.

    Would it help to picture them in their underwear-or does that visual cause more anxiety? Just kidding :p
     
  19. MsTeckel

    MsTeckel Comrade

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    If I have to look at people, I tend to have more anxiety. I could close my eyes and talk, I would be ok. I swear I have a hint of autism (I teach kids with autism) because I hate looking people in the eyes.
     
  20. Marci07

    Marci07 Devotee

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    I too have social anxiety. I don't have problems talking to large groups but my big one is the one on one. I get so nervous and I'm always thinking that everything I say it's dumb. My problem is the cause that I have very limited friends.
     
  21. Bumble

    Bumble Groupie

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    This is exactly what I experience every day. I wanted to teach autistic support, but was unable to find this type of position. I'm so glad that I'm not the only one. Not that I want anyone to experience this type of anxiety.
     
  22. LMath85

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    I am the same way. If I am meeting new colleagues I get awfully nervous around them. It was hard being in a new school two years in a row and having to meet/introduce myself to new people twice. However, once I get comfortable around people I am absolutely fine. I spent the first month of both years observing and listening to my colleagues and making small talk. After awhile I felt very comfortable around them.
     
  23. maya5250

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    I sometimes have a hard time focusing when I need to verbalize something in a concise and clear manner. When I am in one of my education classes, I see my classmates and my teacher cringe or become stiff when I am about to say something. It just makes me more nervous. So, I begin to stutter and can't explain things very well. I say alot of ummm....see....like... This just reinforce their cringing (they are not rude about it but I can tell). And the cycle goes on. It makes me not want to talk in this class. It doesn't help that it is an ESL teacher prep class offered in the evening. I am not trying to be an ESL teacher but I still need to learn how to be more articulate for my students in the regular classroom..

    So I decided tonight to google "how to be articulate". Found this website: http://www.wikihow.com/Be-Articulate. Hopefully over time I will be able to approve my speaking ability.
     
  24. bros

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    Yeah, it's hard for me to explain things too despite having a verbal IQ of 125.

    My new psychologist has diagnosed me with Asperger's.

    The way I can be articulate is a way my current psychologist and previous therapist described it as basically when I can't articulate something, I move my hands around in a manner similar to sign language, which made them think I was hearing impaired at first, because they thought I was using sign language.

    I was probably taught sign language at one point, because I wasn't able to speak intelligibly until age 5 or so.
     
  25. Special-t

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    I'm 48 and I still get anxiety around "adults". I think it's a sense that they are somehow more competent than I - not so much an age thing. Although when I was younger, it was all adults in general.

    I let it stop me from pursuing many things.

    One thing I do now, if I feel really anxious, is to let the other person know that I'm nervous. I don't make it sound like social anxiety, however. I'll say something like: this interview means a lot to me and I can't believe how nervous I am! It's important to say things like this with a smile and as light-heartedly as possible so the person doesn't feel like they have to coddle you. I found that if I acknowledge the nerves they go away faster than if I try to hide them.

    I hope this helps.

    p.s. If you get sweaty palms or perspire when this happens. Don't be afraid to keep nice handkerchiefs with you. It's better to casually dry your palms or forehead in a professional manner than to ignore the sweat.
     

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