So I had a parent just leave an elligibility meeting

Discussion in 'General Education' started by Backroads, Nov 1, 2021.

  1. Backroads

    Backroads Aficionado

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    Ah, you say, but don't people usually leave these meetings when they're done? Being people and all?

    Sure, but it was a virtual meeting. She got mad, left the virtual room, and hung up twice on the SPED teacher who then tried to call her.

    Said SPED teacher said that's never happened before. What happens next?
     
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  3. a2z

    a2z Virtuoso

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    What would you do if the parent left during the middle of a regular meeting? I would think similar protocols would be applied.

    I also think it depends on why she left on how to proceed.
     
  4. Tired Teacher

    Tired Teacher Connoisseur

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    whoops!
     
  5. Tired Teacher

    Tired Teacher Connoisseur

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    In all of my years, I have never had a parent leave during a meeting. I am thinking it is easier to "pull off" if you are online or on the phone. The sad part is parents can't see your body language online much. So they could misunderstand the teacher's intent. All I can say, is my newly famous line: I am so happy not to be working anymore! :)
    Oh, I have no idea of what happens next. Maybe the counselor and P call her?
     
  6. waterfall

    waterfall Virtuoso

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    We would try to reschedule the meeting. I personally would get my P involved, but I guess it depends on how supportive yours is. Last year for the first time ever, I had a parent refuse to attend the initial eligibility meeting. My sped director said that after of course documenting everything, school staff should hold the meeting and send the consent for initial provision home for parents to sign, assuming they'd check "no" for consent after refusing to even come to the meeting. Then they refused to sign that form. I thought at some point we would just document all of our contacts, take the refusal as non-consent for services, and let it go. Nope. My sped director told us to start up again this fall if they hadn't turned it in. Oddly enough, a few weeks later they turned in the form and checked "yes!" I asked if they wanted to review the testing from the meeting they missed. Nope. I guess in the end they were okay with getting the services but didn't want to hear anything about their child having a disability. Sad, because I think if they would have just attended the meeting they would see it's not as scary as they were probably building it up to be.
     
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  7. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Maven

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    My students all come to me with services so I've never been to an eligibility meeting. Is the purpose to classify the student as SPED and to get services? Why wouldn't the parent want the student to get what he needs? It sounds like the parent was mad at herself or the kid and took it out on you.
     
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  8. SpecialPreskoo

    SpecialPreskoo Moderator

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    Under parent's signature line type in "parent left the meeting before it was over".

    I hope the meeting was recorded for proof of them leaving (other than those sitting there witnessing them leave).
     
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  9. Backroads

    Backroads Aficionado

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    Looking back, I don't think she knew what to expect. We wanted to talk about our observations, ask her about her observations, she just wanted to lay out what she wanted for her kid (which was basically some inappropriate modifications). I don't think she was prepared for a discussion about the kid's abilities or considerations of alternative helps.
     
  10. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Maven

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    I see. She thought it was a meeting to "get whatever I want" but when she realized what the process was and how things are supposed to go in the meeting she got mad. Not surprised. Some parents are just like this.
     
  11. vickilyn

    vickilyn Multitudinous

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    I've thought about this thread quite a bit. My son was classified at 18 months, and I will never forget how the team working with him was matter of fact about everything (even though it ended up that there had been some wrong conclusions made from faulty testing). If I could have forced myself to leave that meeting, I would have gone in a heartbeat, but I felt like I was drowning, unable to catch my breath. Given time, I set my sights on finding out how the child they were describing was so different at home. Once we figured out how the testing was flawed, we acted more as a true team, and I inserted myself into my son's education with my only concern being that I wanted the child study teams to see my son's abilities, and have them make sure that I was kept in the loop about any and all considerations. I went so far as to become a substitute teacher, a parent volunteer for any and all reasons, and eventually I acquired my teaching credentials, which helped me help not only my son, but other students who often had parents with anger issues when dealing with the CST. I helped some parents to see where they could truly benefit communicating with the CST, which seemed to help everyone involved. I now have a bushel basket of teaching certificates and a job that I love. My son graduated with Honors, earned his Bachelor's in Music, and his MEd. in teaching ESL. He has been teaching in the same district for five years, and he couldn't be happier. All I can say is that finding a way to have meaningful interactions with the parent is crucial, and sometimes it means coming back to the issues in slightly different ways until the parent truly sees what the child needs in the realm of what a school district can provide. In my case, I became the teacher once the school day was over, but I know that won't work for every parent/child.

    I really am joining the discussion because it strikes so close to home for me. I sincerely hope that the parent and CST create common ground that will benefit the student and the family.
     
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  12. Backroads

    Backroads Aficionado

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    @vickilyn, thanks so much for sharing that. There's been a lot of effort to reach out to her to initiate another conversation. I think there tends to be a tendency to consider the other side very much the other.
     
  13. vickilyn

    vickilyn Multitudinous

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    In no way do I blame either side in the situation. I only replied because there was a time when I wanted to bolt from the room, and this thread brought all of those feelings front and center. This parent may, indeed, be unreasonable, possibly getting bad information from people who really shouldn't be giving advice. Some parents do make unreasonable demands based on the mistaken belief that districts have unlimited amounts of funds that allow them to cater to parents demands, no matter what. I hope that there will be a meeting of the minds that will chart a course that is best for the child involved. Best of luck.
     
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