Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by Teacher_Lyn, Jan 7, 2009.
Jan 9, 2009
Yesterday I was at dismissal and some of my former students were standing around talking. they are 5th graders and I had them for 3rd and 4th grade.
They were saying "Our teacher said we had 3 more minutes so I went outside and when I got out the door she called us in."
The other one said, "I know, that happened to me too. I was using the computer and she said 5 minutes so I looked at my watch. Then, LITERALLY one minute later she said it was time to stop."
I told them it was a conspiracy and all teachers did that. They both had this huge realization.
They were so surprised. They were like, "now that we can tell time better we actually REALIZE the teachers are lying. I feel so jipped! We could have been playing all those minutes but we were cheated!!"
They were in such a state of awe. It's pretty funny, because I read in child development books that a sense of time doesn't actually occur until about age 10, so it was pretty right on!!
(I know my first graders have almost NO sense of time, so it made me realize how little I could put past those older kids if I tried.)
Mine did! I was using nasal spray earlier this week and one of the girls saw me.
"What is that?" (asked rather cautiously)
"Oh! Thank goodness! I thought it was glue. I couldn't understand why you'd put glue up your nose."
"Well, it would stop the sneezing,"replied one of the boys.
Today we were comparing/contrasting planets and stars.
Read aloud fron the book-"Stars are globes of hot gasses. Planets can be either rocky or gaseous."
"De nada" piped someone from the back of the room.
You might want to read this aloud to understand it.
Jan 10, 2009
I have been cracking up over this thread. We(k-2nd) are going on a field trip to see Bodyology later this month. One of the 2nd graders told her teacher that her mother is going to be a "choperone."
I forgot another great one! I had a student last semester who slammed his hand in the car door over the weekend. I was asking me about it and he told me it didn't hurt too bad because they had given him some pain killers in the emergency room. He said he took 6 yesterday and 4 today, so he'd had about 11 of them. A couple of students quietly giggled over his bad math and told him that 6 plus 4 was 10. He vehemently argued that 6 plus 4 was 11 and said "I swear to God it is! Watch I'll prove it!" When he punched it into his calculator and it said 10, he slammed it down on the desk and said "Well crap! When did that happen?!?!?" :lol: No wonder he was having trouble in algebra! But, whenever I see him in the hall now he knows what 6 plus 4 is!
Must be that "new math".
Jan 16, 2009
I am laughing so hard right now the neigbors upstairs are banging on the floor!
Jan 17, 2009
I have a kindergartner that never eats his lunch and I decided to ask him that seen as he doesn't eat at school whats his favorite meal to eat at home. He replied...
"Pissgetti and Chimichangas"
Feb 18, 2009
So one of my 6th graders comes to me today and says, "I found an incomplete sentence in this book."
I not sure whether to be proud of him or just really confused by the text book we're using, so I ask him to read it to me. The sentence reads:
"We do not know the exact date of Jesus' birth."
I teach social studies and not english and we have been studying the religions of the middle east. Regardless, I'm totally lost at this point and I ask him why this is an incomplete sentence. He just keeps insisting that it is. After a few minutes of this I try a different tactic. I asked him, "Sweetheart, what's an incomplete sentence?" He responded, "A sentence fragment."
So obviously that was no help. (No only that, but I am in shock that he knows this!) LOL
I tried another way, "The exact location of your homework is unknown."
"That's incomplete," he says! (No Kidding I thought, but I'm still confused.)
Finally, when I'm just about to give up, I try one more time, "WHY is it incomplete?"
"Because we don't know the date so it's incomplete."
OHHHHHH....No, dear, not even close.
But I can see how in his world that made total sense!
I had a great laugh today:
One of my grade 8 students calls me by the wrong name at least half the time. Yesterday he did it 5 times and I got a little annoyed, so commented on it today. He told me that it wasn't his fault, that the teacher whose name he used and I look so much alike. That's right, the overweight teacher with short reddish hair, glasses and conservative clothes (that's me) looks just like the tall, thin blond who is always dressed in the height of fashion! I just hope he doesn't share his observations with her--his mark in her class won't be very good! :lol:
So, today was "Erkel" day. They were supposed to dress up like nerds and there was a competition to see who was the "nerdiest". Three girls showed up in dress slacks, a button down shirt and a blazer, with dress heels, a modest necklace and medium sized earings. When my principal asked them why they were dressed that way, and not like "nerds" they replied: "We are dressed like nerds. We're dressed as Ms. mmswm, and she says she's the biggest nerd in the world all the time.". I don't know whether to be flattered or insulted. The outfits, of course, describe my typical work clothes (which has changed since October...I used to live in dress jeans and a polo shirt).
We had a Code Red the other day...real, not practice. A parent was a bit out of control. Part of my job and the teacher across the hall is to grab any kids in the hallway and lock them in my room. After all the doors were locked, I double-checked the hallway, and sure enough two kids were coming out of the bathroom, very confused. The first grader had been hiding because he got nervous when the other teacher had called into the bathroom. He didn't want to come with me; I had to smile and say "shhh, it's a surprise" and the other one, a fifth grader, when asked why he didn't come when he first heard the announcement, said he "had to finish my business first."
Everything is fine, by the way. Nice to know the drills paid off and everything went like clockwork. The first grader was a perfect angel while he waited with all the fifth graders in my class. Not a peep out of him. When I took him back to his classroom after it was all over, he was so proud of himself for staying with the "big kids". The other kids in the class were in awe of him.
I knew where this was going after the second sentence! :lol: That's pretty funny.
Feb 19, 2009
I teach kindergarten and I have a bathroom in my room. One of my students was using the bathroom today and I could hear her singing. It was so cute, they don't think we can hear them!
In the last few minutes of class yesterday, I was talking to some of my high school students. One of my freshman girls was talking how she just KNEW she was going to marry her boyfriend! THEN, one of my junior boys said, "You can't know who you're going to marry yet! Look at Miss (Iowa_Teacher) she's like 80 and not married!" Grr I'm 24 by the way!
I give my students a sucker whenever they catch me in a mistake.
Knowing I'm single, one of my kids asked "Have you ever been married Mr. B?"
"I caught one of your mistakes."
He got a sucker.
Feb 21, 2009
I had gone to a lot of trouble to make sure my kids knew we were NOT having a Valentine's "Party." We would just exchange Valentines and have a snack and play cards and checkers.
On Friday last week, I had repeated this firmly over and over, "No, we are not having a party."
At lunch time, they lined up and I was trying to explain,"Now when you come in after recess, please come in very quietly and sit right down because that is when we will exchange our Valentines."
"You mean we will have our PARTYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!"
"No, we are not having a party. We are exchanging Valentines, having a snack, and playing some games."
"My mom said we were having a party!"
"No. We aren't having a party. We are exchanging Valentines and having some snacks."
A little softer, "My mom said it was a party."
"Nope. No party. Just Valentines and snacks."
They were all silent and staring at me. Then this one little very quiet boy makes eye contact. Suddenly he could stand it no longer!
He started making this disco move, and singing "party-party, PARTY! party-party, PARTY!" Then the whole class did the conga like that all the way down to the lunch room!. I did crack up. The whole office right across the hall cracked up.
During the middle of my non-party, when they were swinging off the chandeliers, my principal came in, walked up, and whispered in my ear, "I'm so glad you are not having a party!"
That is such a cute story! I love when administration has a good sense of humor! :lol:
Feb 22, 2009
We were discussing BC and AD on a timeline, and one kid had such a confused look on his face. Finally, he blurted out, "But how did they know they were 100 BC?" I assured him that they didn't know it at the time.
My favorite Valentine card was one which had this written in it: "Thank you for teaching me everything you know." I guess i can go on summer vacation right now since I've already taught them everything I know!!
Enjoy the long break Daisy!
One of my kids gave me a VDay candle with a computer generated card. It was a "teacher's report card" with subjects like 'smart' 'patient' caring' 'kind' and A's next to each. When I thanked him, he begged me not to show the card around. Of course everyone suddenly wanted to know what was on the card, so I told them I had apparently failed the smart and kind categories. It cracked me up that he didn't want his classmates to see a computer generated card! And this is one of my more difficult kiddos!
Our class had two pet hermit crabs named Peyton and Eli after the Mannings in the NFL. I told the class where I got the names. Eli recently went to that hermit crab cage in the sky, but Peyton is alive and well! OK, our school recently had a book fair, and I bought a book on college football teams for the boys to enjoy. It had my favorite, Tennessee, in it, where Peyton Manning went. I showed it to my class and said, "This is Peyton". One boy's eyes got big and he said, "You mean our hermit crab grew up to be a person?!"
PLEASE keep these coming! This is one of my favorite threads in the forum!
I was sitting at my job at the dealership scoring writing papers yesterday. The prompt was "what age would you like to be and why?" I was giggling at one (not funny unless you know the child) and one of my salesmen asked what was so funny. So, he starts reading them out of the giant stack- aloud. I was still scoring, but half-listening. He was mocking them and it was hilarious.
So, he begins to read one about how they want to be 16 so they can drive. He then reads how this child's dream car was a Mustang. "It would be lime green with pink seats." I said- it does not say that, you are kidding again. He showed me. Sure enough it does! Yikes! She also goes onto say she would be able to 'die' her hair when she is 16 and she would 'die' it purple and blue streaks.
One of my kiddos was looking at a hologram Valentine's card.
"Those are so cool! I wonder how they do that?" I said.
"They're obstacle illusions" he replied.
I like when they get so excited to tell me what they got for Christmas. Every year someone gets a "Mote Troll." This was confusing to me my first year; now I know it means a REMOTE CONTROL! Not a knarly squishy faced tiny troll head.
Feb 24, 2009
We're learning about inherited traits in class and the special assignment for my autistic mentally handicapped boy was to try some of the special traits I listed such as tongue rolling and making the vulcan sign. He was then to draw a picture of himself and write some of his traits down. He did a good job with the writing--"I have straight teeth." and "I have curly hair."
The picture, though! This huge face with very, very big teeth in a huge grin and then a very suspicious looking appendage added to the center area around where his legs meet... if you catch my drift.
I couldn't stop laughing....his substitute aide was in hysterics. I finally told him that perhaps he should put some clothes on the drawing... and he told me that he was wearing underwear, which didn't help my suspicions at all that it was more than just an odd part of the drawing....Putting that "thing" there is def. something he'd do on purpose, and in all innocence.
At least he didn't write anything about it.
After class, the aide and I were left wondering if it was a family trait....Don't know how I can ask.
One day, I had a student who seemed preoccupied with his pencils and crayons while I was teaching. When I asked what seemed to be the problem with the constant playing. His answer was well, I didn't get to play with my toys last night, so I am playing now. It was too cute, but it won't work in my class.
Feb 25, 2009
A few days ago an 11th grade boy said (quite seriously), "Miss, you must have been pretty when you were young." There were so many ways I could have gone with that (I'm just about to have my 48th bday and noticing the growing number of wrinkles around my eyes). Anyway, I decided it was an awkward compliment; so I brightly said, "Thank you! Hopefully, my husband still thinks I'm pretty now!"
Today we were having a problem solving discussion because at recess the kids have a very "boys vs. girls" attitude.
One of the girls said, "it's not like they bow down to us and tuck us into bed. It's the complete opposite of that."
It made me wonder... what exactly IS the opposite of being bowed down to and tucked into bed?
Feb 26, 2009
This is one of the best threads! I was doing some observations in a pre/k room and I was also there during lunch and one little boy, who is 5 years old, was very excited about his snack. It was Doritos and he was so happy about it! So trying to engage him in appropriate lunch time conversation I asked, "are those sweet or tangy?" He immediately replied, "they are awesome!"
Mine scared my Admin. We were playing a game after two hours of presenting research papers - they had been good and were starting to get antsy. So 20 minutes before the end of the day I had them pack their things and sit at their desks so we could play "who am i?" I love this game to learn how to ask the right questions and get the important information.
I have two well behaved girls out in the hall to start. We are at the tail end of picking out person and the door knob starts to rattle... one of the boys gets up to tell them it would be one more second... but instead he decides at the last minute to jump out at them... guess who was actually answering the door.
Yep - my boss... She was startled but she laughed about it and the kids laughed about it... After the kids were gone for the day I made sure to go and apologize. She laughed it off so hopefully she didn't think my room was out of control. They are watching me right now because i just took a LTS position and they want to make sure that i can handle my little demon children.
Last year I had a teaching assistant in my Alg 1 class. This gal is GREAT and she's an old SPED teaching assistant. She doesn't miss a beat for anything.
She was bent over helping a student with a problem when one of my freshman boys blurts out...
"Mrs. ____......You have a TATOO!!!!!!"
Without even looking up she said, "Yes I do and why were you looking at my boobs?"
The kid turned 6 shades of red...stuttered for a bit and finally managed to get out "Ya got me there."
We had some people come out from the Dentist's office today to talk to our kids. They brought these cute little bags in different colors, including pink with a toothbrush and toothpaste inside. My kids were talking-so I told them (joking) that if they didn't stop, all of the boys would get the pink bags. One of the boys said, "No, we're men!" It made me laugh out loud-they're third graders!
Feb 27, 2009
one of my girls came in this morning with her hands on her hips and the first thing she said was "wheres the single ladies" and continued to sing "if you liked it then you should of put a ring on it" while holding her hand out (as if to show someone a ring). it was too funny! She's 4!
Feb 28, 2009
We were on the rug for a story the other day and one of my students was called to the office to get something from his dad. Well apparently he tied his shoes laces together and hopped out to see his dad. My aid and I were cracking up but his father was mad! BTW I teach kindergarten!
Feb 3, 2010
Reviving this wonderful thread!
I have an extra credit project called The Wall of UGH!, which asks students to submit examples of poor grammar and syntax they've found in the world around them. Each picture they hand in earns five extra credit points for the marking period. I explained this to a new student this morning.
Her response? "Can I just send you my boyfriend? He's one big grammar mistake!"
It took me a full two minutes to stop laughing.
There is an old house behind our school that is part of the historical part of our town. It's undergoing renovations and the kids (6th graders) seem to think the house is Haunted.
Today some of them brought me some incredibly old journals and books that they "found" outside the house. The house was recently broken into, so they've probably found stuff that was dropped.
The rest of my students were amazed at the stuff that was found. The journal had the date 1853 written in it and the bible had 1811 inside the cover.
One of my student's expressed her amazement, "Wow! That's so old! So that's like an original and not a copy, huh?"
PS (We called the historical society to get help finding the owners of the books!)
Two 7th grade girls were writing definitions and were trying to see who could finish first. One asked, "Are you on asexual reproducation?" and the other one said, "I hadn't even started!".