So...did anyone's students make them laugh this week?

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by Teacher_Lyn, Jan 7, 2009.

  1. Teacher_Lyn

    Teacher_Lyn Companion

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    Jan 7, 2009

    Since I vent, moan and groan on here so much, i thought I'd share a couple of my funnier moments from this week. (It's like my kids are funniest when they're being completely serious.)

    1) All the kids were done using the bathroom and standing quietly in hall as we waited for "Johnny" to finish. He was taking forever, so I called in the bathroom, "Johnny, what are you doing in there? C'mon, we're all waiting."

    He responds, "I'M SORRY MS. LYNN I HAD TO POOP. NOW I'M WIPING MY BUTT, BUT I'M ALMOST DONE!" What made it even funnier was that he wasn't trying to be funny, he said it was seriously as he would say, "I'm almost finished my test. Can I have 2 more minutes?"

    The kids in front of the line heard him and started snickering under their breath. I had to turn my back to them, because if they saw me laughing, it woudl have been over.

    2) "Timmy" has large ears. He came up to me and said, "Ms. Lynn, 'Joe' was talking about me." I said, "Timmy, Joe sits on the other side of the room. Even if he was talking about you, there's no way you could have possibly heard him." So Timmy grabs his ears and goes, "I can hear EVERYTHING. I'm like a superhero or something."

    AGAIN, Teacher Lynn had to stifle a laugh.

    3) I had a lot of beans for lunch one time. During math, I bent down at a child's desk to help them, when I passed gas. It wasn't super loud, but the kid heard it. His eyes got REALLY WIDE and I put up a finger like, "Shh!" and we both started laughing. Of course everyone wanted to know what happened, but the kid's like, "It's a secret just me and Ms. Lynn can know"
     
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  3. silverspoon65

    silverspoon65 Enthusiast

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    I always tell my kids the daily "holiday." Yesterday was Cuddle Up Day. Maybe dangerous to tell high schoolers this, but I started class with "Good Morning. Today is Jan. 8th and it is Cuddle Up Day. So find someone to snuggle with after school because it's going to be cold and nasty".

    Well, one kid thought I said - "So find someone to snuggle with after school, just don't get nasty."

    I giggled over that one.


    Also a co-worker made me giggle today because he kept talking about the "15 indicators" he uses for identifying honors students, and all I could think of was that he sounded like an e-harmony commercial - "we will match you with your partner on 37 indicators..."
     
  4. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    They make me laugh so often it's sometimes hard to remember specifics.

    A couple from today when I was working in a grade 8 classroom--they were brainstorming speech topics and beginning to do their planning:

    - "MrsC--is it okay if I do my speech on why you and Mr B should be "Teachers of the Year"?"
    - One of my students uses a laptop almost exclusively for his work (his spelling, punctuation and grammar are horrid!). I was reading some of his writing when an announcement came on inviting students interested in participating in a spelling competition to meet after school. The 2 of us looked at each other and he said, "Do you think I could use my laptop so that I could use spell-check?" We both burst out laughing.
    - Same student, while writing, tried to write the word, "organism" and used spell-check. Grade 8 boys. Enough said.
     
  5. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    Jan 7, 2009


    :rofl:
     
  6. cutNglue

    cutNglue Magnifico

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    I work with a male teacher. I'm fairly new to working with him and I only work with him for one class period. Personally I love working with him. He is great with the kids and he is very funny. I didn't think much about it until one student this week asked if he was popular with the ladies. The teacher asked why he asked the question. "Ms. Cutnglue likes you!" Gosh, kids are so darn perceptive if it wasn't for the fact that we are both married and he is old enough to be my father. They aren't wrong though. He goes into this long discussion about being married and old and being done with dating, etc. I quietly had to remind him to tell them I'm married too! Hahaha! Then today one kid writes on a piece of paper and said "Male Teacher has a hot new girlfriend." All I could think of was, "hey, they think I'm hot." LMBO. I didn't say it of course. We all know it is just kids being kids and after all, they aren't completely off base. I do like the teacher. I just don't have any designs on him.
     
  7. CDFYS

    CDFYS Guest

    Jan 7, 2009

    Oh those kids!

    I could go on forever with the things my kids say. I have a daily quote of the day for myself and my students. I actually even share with the kids sometimes and they all love it. The kids even love when they end up as the quote of the day, even though "names are kept anonymous to protect the guilty"! :) I've even made it myself sometimes when I've done some things.

    Some of my favorites...

    One day I had been making copies and after getting halfway back down the hall, I realized I'd made 100 front and back copies of the ANSWER KEY! Whoops! So I announce to no one in particular in the empty hallway, "Your teacher is an idiot!" A kid pops up from a bottom locker and says, "Who? Mr. Dobney?" (Not me, but one of my fellow social studies teachers!) Of course both I and the other teacher laughed all day about it.)

    When studying different types of governments the kids were to act out decisions based on how those governments were run. One group had "Theocracy". They were trying to think of a religions to use that they would know how to decide. One kid says to another, "Hey are you Mormon?" She replies quickly, 'No, I'm Mexican!"

    Just last night at our basketball game I was taking tickets at the gate. For not the first time, I watched one of our own students come down the hallway, walk up to the gym door, look at the scoreboard and ask, "Are we home or visitor?"

    When were discussing the continents, one of the students was telling me about how they were going to build a bridge between Africa and Asia. It wasn't that I didn't believe him, but there was something off about the way he phrased it to me..."Because we should be building bridges and not walls!"

    And my last one (for today) my same student from above, was making a drawing to represent how decisions were made in a direct democracy. He shows several stick figures. One of them asks the others, "What do you guys want for dinner?" "Hamburgers," the first one says. "Hot Dogs," says the second. The third stick figure is bent over with a cane cries, "Pills!"

    Oh my goodness! They keep me rolling on the floor! :p
     
  8. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    Jan 7, 2009

    Love it!!!

    Just thought of another one. One of the boys in one of my classes is a bit heavy. One of the girls in the class was overheard saying to another, "It's not fair, T has bigger b**bs than we do!" (I was told this one; I'm not sure I could have handled it without breaking up)
     
  9. Peachyness

    Peachyness Virtuoso

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    Okay, your stories cracked me up!!!! I had a lousy day and so I had a lot of fun reading your and the other stories!

    My stories:
    One of my students commented how they liked my watch. Another student said me too. Then another said me three, then me four, me five, me six, me seven. Then a student who knows very little English goes, me hungry. I cracked up for several days.

    I had a little girl announce in the middle of language arts time that she knows how two mommies can have a baby. She then goes into great detail. I had to stop her. Thankfully it went over my students head. Yes, this was Kindergarten.

    I once had a girl bring me $50 from home. I asked why she brought the money and she said it was because the class was too loud the day before. Awwwwww... I did give the money to mom after school. :D
     
  10. bonneb

    bonneb Fanatic

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    Jan 7, 2009

    Unfortunately, my kids did not make me laugh yet. They are adorable. I love them to pieces. I am just in a slump. Yes, even after vacation and an added snow day Monday!

    My students used to have me in hysterics at least once a day! I think it is all the other stuff going on right now - lots of changes, hard stuff, friends suffering, and friendships ending right now.

    Tomorrow I will watch closely to find something funny! This could possibly be one of the very best classes I've ever had so I hope I can really focus and enjoy the rest of the year.

    Reading your posts was awesome and DID make me laugh.
     
  11. MsMar

    MsMar Fanatic

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    I don't have any to add, but these cracked me up. My students make me smile a lot, and crack me up sometimes, but nothing I can think of that would be funny to anyone other than me.
     
  12. silverspoon65

    silverspoon65 Enthusiast

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    This happened a while ago... and it started out really NOT funny but it turned out ok.

    I don't know what actually happened (I think someone pushed someone else, but I wasn't looking) but a student fell backwards onto another desk and the entire desk just collapsed - and there was another student in it! So basically laying flat on the floor was this boy on top of desk parts on top of a girl stuck inside the desk parts. At first I was terrified because she was so tangled in the desk parts that I was sure she had to have broken something. But once I got them both up off the floor and saw they were fine, I just busted out laughing. I tried to get it together, but every time the class got quite and on task, I would just start snickering again, and then of course they would start up again.

    This is what a desk looks like when a kid falls backwards onto it...

    [​IMG]
     
  13. Miss J. Pre-K

    Miss J. Pre-K Comrade

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    Jan 7, 2009

    This one happened yesterday . . . One little girl was wearing an empire-waisted (high waisted) top/dress with bunched up fabric flowing to her knees. Another little four-year-old girl comes in the morning, and says, "Oh my gosh, C., are your pregnant?"

    One girl said to a boy who constantly bugs her, "I., I'm just too big to mess with you today."

    One boy heard sirens outside and ran and hid under the table. When I was trying to get him to come out, I asked him why he was scared. With wide eyes, he said, "I don't want those cops to come get me. I don't like to wear orange."

    I have one girl whose belly protrudes from all of her clothes and her behind is often showing. One day we were sitting down at snack and one boy said to this girl, "I., you need to go run somewhere because you're getting fat." (Horrifying, I know, but I secretly cracked up.)
     
  14. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    silver-I would have had a hard time keeping that in as well. Poor kids! And poor desk!
     
  15. silverspoon65

    silverspoon65 Enthusiast

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    I think I was so relieved that that no one was hurt that I just giggled. For like, an hour. haha
     
  16. MissJennifer

    MissJennifer Companion

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    I think the cutest/funniest thing one of my kids (I teach 3's) said to me this week was when she was telling me (In all seriousness of course), that her big black dog named Chief gave her a Christmas present. And she said to me "He even knew how to wrap it! With his paws! I just don't know how he did it!" It was too cute!
     
  17. MissFroggy

    MissFroggy Aficionado

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    I have this kid in my class who is a little kooky. I kind of wonder if his recent behaviors are kind of OCD, but they still struck me as funny.

    He kept trying to tell me something about a pen is (put the two words together- it was edited out at first). I couldn't figure out what he was saying and I wasn't sure I wanted to hear it so I told him to sit down. He kept trying to tell me and I told him to tell me AFTER I dismissed everyone else for recess.

    At that point he came up to me and pointed towards the hot dots. He took my hand and led to me the container w/ the hot dot pen and told me "while we were playing with these the pen reminded me of a pen is. I wanted to tell Parker (another boy in the class) but I thought it might be inappropriate." He had been mulling over this "bad thought" for like 30 minutes and just had to get it out! So strange... I laughed about it later.

    He is also the one who comes to tell me whenever someone's butt crack shows (which happens a lot apparently.)
     
  18. CDFYS

    CDFYS Guest

    Jan 7, 2009

    Becareful what you let them ask!!!

    This story is a two step process because it involves the same child. One day while working in groups I had several children come to me with questions and of course they all want to ask at once. On dear child is not only impatient, but he is the kind that pokes you in the arm while "waiting"!

    Finally I just say, "Okay everyone, I think you have some of the same questions, why don't you go back to your groups, I'll tell you some things, then if you still have a question I'll answer it." Yada Yada.
    So I make the statements and of course pokey boy still has his hand waving wildly in the air.
    "Yes, dear?" I ask.
    "That boy over there just called me a b-strd!" He announces to the whole class.
    This is pretty near the first of school, so in a bit of shock, I gather my thoughts for a second and reply calmly,
    "Thank you sweetheart, but that's something you need to come discuss with me quietly and not share with the whole class."
    With exasperation he states matter of factly, "I TRIED!!!!"
    Okay, point taken! :)

    Just a few weeks later, while teaching about the different steps of industry I was telling the same 6th graders that the primary industry of Cheese is actually the Cow because it produces the milk. Of course one of the students immediately wants to know why cows can produce milk!

    "Because it's a mammal." I told them and just left it at that.
    Of course my previously mentioned friend's hand shoots immediately into the air!
    "Does this have to do with Industry?" I asked with more than a little bit of trepidation.
    "It has to do with Cheese."
    Fool me once, you know....
    "Why don't you ask me after class?" was my quick reply.
    Of course these kinds of questions are NEVER forgotten! At tutoring, he right away says,
    "Can I ask my question now."
    There's no getting out of it, so "Okay, go ahead," I say.
    "CAN MOTHER'S MAKE CHEESE?" He wants to know!!!
    "So what you're asking me is if you can make cheese out of breast milk?" I asked for clarification.
    "Yep!" What a grin he has!
    So I just said, "Let's find out." Thank God for Google!
    For those who are interested, the general consensus was that it had too many nutrients to curdle! LOL

    You learn something new all the time!
     
  19. loveforquantum

    loveforquantum Rookie

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    So.. i was teaching my students about elastic and inelastic collisions and talking about bouncing and how the force of impact is either greater or less depending on whether or not the object bounces... I had two black balls, one was bouncy and the other wasn't. Can you see where this is going:

    "Observe the two black balls" i declared to the class...
    This is what you get when you teach high school seniors. oops. they burst out laughing and i didn't understand why. One of my students raises his hand and states, "Observe the two black balls..."
     
  20. TeacherGroupie

    TeacherGroupie Moderator

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    (snickering)

    Clearly, quantum, the word for their behavior is... nuts.

    Thanks for the funny.
     
  21. loveforquantum

    loveforquantum Rookie

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    :lol:

    I can be so immature sometimes...
     
  22. each1teach1

    each1teach1 Cohort

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    This is a problem I tried to avoid in my class. I often play a game with my class using a plush multi colored ball. Well, the last time I was out sick, the ball came up missing. So today the kids were wanting to know if we were going to play the ball game (which I'd been calling "Pelota", Spanish for game ball). I told them, No, that someone had stole the pelota. One of the kids, an athlete who always has an athletic bag full of his equipment, asks what does pelota mean. Another kid answers "It means ball." The athlete replies "Oh. Someone stole your ball? Nobody ever touches my balls". :spitwater: I knew he meant his tennis balls but it cracked the class up.
     
  23. loveforquantum

    loveforquantum Rookie

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    oh the joys of teaching teenagers...
     
  24. New3rdTeacher

    New3rdTeacher Comrade

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    One of my kids sister was saying this to her..."My mommy is having a baby, she will drink my mommas booby...I am a big girl, I will drink milk from a cow....haha :)
     
  25. shouldbeasleep

    shouldbeasleep Enthusiast

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    1. One of my mildly intellectually handicapped kids came up to me at recess today and wanted to talk about the resource officer who had visited the class earlier in the day. The officer had come by to introduce himself, and of course was dressed in his sheriff's department uniform.

    The boy told me that one of "them" had come to his house last week. I said, "Umm, ok." and decided I really didn't want to get into it.

    He then said, "It's okay. He didn't see us. We were all hiding in the truck."

    #2. The resource officer usually talks about his equipment when he first comes in to introduce himself. (He teaches a unit on personal safety, drugs, etc.). He shows the kids his handcuffs and one of the girls says, "Oh! My mom has some of those!"
    The officer and I just looked at each other, and then I put my head down on the desk to keep from laughing out loud. He had to struggle to keep a straight face.
     
  26. loveforquantum

    loveforquantum Rookie

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    oh... the things kids say... Sometimes i wish taught younger kids so i could have some of those moments. I dont have to hide my laughter from them because they're all mature enough to get the puns.
     
  27. TeacherGroupie

    TeacherGroupie Moderator

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    The payoff with the older ones, or those who come from punning households, is that, under the right circumstances, you can include them in the joke.
     
  28. loveforquantum

    loveforquantum Rookie

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    This is so true! I'm guilty of that...
     
  29. CDFYS

    CDFYS Guest

    Jan 8, 2009

    Not one of my students, but when I got home last night I was visiting with my next door neighbor. She has an adorable 2 year old daughter. Precious curly blond ringlets of hair - soooo animated. When I walked in she was busy telling her mother about the movie she had just finished watching with her daddy and two brothers. Apparently when her mom got home, Becca came out so excited and had to share with her mom about the "dirty movie" she had just watched with her Daddy!

    Her description (in the adorable 2 1/2 year old voice with arms waving everywhere) There were these guys and and these other guys and they were fighting and and then they all got down in the dirt and they were sooooo dirty. Mommy it was such a dirty movie!!!

    (By the way, it was a documentary on World War II!)

    :rofl:
     
  30. Teacher_Lyn

    Teacher_Lyn Companion

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    :rofl:

    OMG, I would have DIED! (so long as the student wasn't hurt)
     
  31. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    These stories are cracking me up! :lol:
     
  32. TeacherMJ

    TeacherMJ Comrade

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    These stories are great!! :lol:
     
  33. Lives4Math

    Lives4Math Comrade

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    We had a student come up to us (myself and the rest of my team) in lunch VERY excited saying "It's my lucky day!!!! Look what I found!!!! Someone REAL diamond earing!!!!" It was the charm part off of a necklas, and yes, did look like it could have been real diamonds. He was pretty upset when we told him we needed to take it to lost and found in case someone was looking for it. 5 minutes later came up to our table and said "If noone takes it in like a year or something....." the science teacher wouldn't even let him finish he stopped him midsentence and said "we'll let them know..."

    The same child....we got a kick out of.....He brought the science teacher an ant farm and we thought it was kind of strange. We found out at parent teacher conference night the story behind it.......Mom thought that the kid would like it so she bought it for him. He was terrified!!! He wanted to know what would happen if they got out.

    However, the best....were last year when I taught Kindergarten!!!

    * a child got stuck on the toilet one day.....that was too funny, but the conversation a the way it was discovered it too much to type :)

    * I was out one day and the sub was taking the kids to the bathroom. One of my girls was taking a really long time so she asked her what she was doing.....my 5-6 year old student proceeded to tell the sub that she was "defecating". Where does a child that age learn that???? I cracked up when my PALS tutor told me about it :)

    * And this one may be more cute than funny...but I still smile and chuckle about it today. One of my boys thought that he was just a ladies man....told me one day that he wanted to marry me. Then said "you wanna know why I wanna marry you????? because you teached me good" I just laughed at him and gave him a hug....cutie....I miss him.
     
  34. MsMar

    MsMar Fanatic

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    He, he... sounds like earlier this year when I was doing a meatball demo with a students and we compared the sizes of our balls. We quickly decided he was the one with the bigger balls :eek:. I had anticipated general snickering with the meatballs though so I was totally prepared for it, we just all had a good snicker and moved on.
     
  35. MrsTeacher2Be

    MrsTeacher2Be Companion

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    Last semester I had one little angel first block who wanted to know if he could "ask a question without getting in trouble." Well, we all know that's a bad sign so I told him to ask me privately in a few minutes. When we finished our lesson and started on classwork, I walked over to his desk and he asked if I had overslept that morning. "Well, yeah, why?" He replies, very softly, "cause yo hair is lookin kinda nappy, you might wanna check that out!" :rofl: He was right, and I'm glad he told me, but I laughed SO hard!

    Speaking of hair, on one of my first days a girl told me she was going to sue the high school. Why? "Because my hair frizzes when it rains!" Ummmm... She was unhappy because the sidewalks aren't covered, as if the humidity wouldn't frizz her hair anyway.

    We're on block schedule and started all new classes this semester. Well I have a couple of girls who are VERY unhappy that they're in my class and not my male coworker's class (they all think he's hot). Well one girl actually checked out of my class yesterday and said "I just can't be in this room, it's giving me a migraine." It's EXACTLY the same as his room, which is about 5 feet away. She acts completely fine, but she's just "dying because her head hurts so bad" :rolleyes:

    My all time favorite - It was my first month teaching and a student asked, in the middle of a lesson, if he could ask a "querstion". Not yet knowing better, I said "Sure Chuck! What's your question?" "Why don't you and yo husband have no chirrenz (children)?" Ummm.... "We just don't, so anyway when you have an absolute value equation..." My effort to change the subject did not work. "Mrs. Bryan, do your ovaries not work?" Uhhhhhh.... "No Chuck I'm fine, we just don't have kids." Another student yells out, "They use a sock!" :spitwater: I was totally mortified, but I couldn't contain the laughter. :lol:
     
  36. TeacherGroupie

    TeacherGroupie Moderator

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    MrsTeacher2Be, I think that's when you respond, "It's because I'm a teacher" and make eye contact with all the problem kids.
     
  37. jd123

    jd123 Cohort

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    I was reading to first graders. I sat in a rocking chair while the students were sitting on the carpet. One girl, who was very close to me, said she liked the color of my socks (brown trouser socks). I thanked her. Then she said her grandma has socks just like mine.
    Let's hear it for support hose. :|
     
  38. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    MrsTeacher-that's hilarious!!
     
  39. Iowa_Teacher

    Iowa_Teacher Rookie

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    I had a senior get so excited about his class today (it's the first day of class) and say something like "we're the awesome trio!"....and there were 4 students. I cracked up as did the other 3 kids. He was embarrassed, but took it well. :)
     
  40. Crzy_ArtTeacher

    Crzy_ArtTeacher Comrade

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    I had one of my first graders say to me the other day...

    "Ms. Art Teacher, do you have a magnet in your head?"

    I of course was confused, paused a moment and he continued...

    "Because you're attracting my buns of steel."

    Now where did he learn that...hmmm.
     
  41. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    I just left a grade 8 classroom; I can't imagine the chaos hearing this interaction would cause in there.
     

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