Single Teachers

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by MathGuy82, Dec 6, 2016.

  1. MathGuy82

    MathGuy82 Companion

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    Dec 6, 2016

    Fellow teachers,

    Have you ever gone through a time where you didn't date or really hang out with people while teaching? I used to be quite social and dated girls frequently before I became a full time high school teacher in the last 3 years. Maybe it's also because I moved away from a country club that was 2 blocks from my house where I could go on the weekends. It seems like after going to all the school events, keeping on top of the house, bills, laundry, grocery shopping, studying and taking a state subject test, there's not much time or energy for going out to date or be social. I generally dislike the idea of dating coworkers/teachers that I work with in the same building. That happened in another school I worked at and whenever there was an argument/disagreement between us, everybody seemed to know about it that worked there and it drove me insane. The current school I work in pretty much everyone has kids or is married. Hopefully this doesn't mean I should change my career but ever since teaching full time my motivation to go out and meet people has dwindled a bit steadily over the past 3 years. I like teaching I just wish I wasn't so drained afterword. Does it get better after a few more years in the job?

    Any thoughts about online dating? Is it as bad as what others say? I've heard some people that stay completely away from it. Others say it's okay but not great. Sorry so long just needed to vent! Am close to family though as I look forward to seeing them each Holiday. Anyway hope everyone is doing well.
     
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  3. Ima Teacher

    Ima Teacher Virtuoso

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    Dec 6, 2016

    I didn't date much when I was a new teacher, but it wasn't for any reason other than I just wasn't overly social. After my divorce, I didn't date for several years because I was way tired of men. LOL I did online dating for about a year. It was . . . interesting. However, I did meet my DH on there, so it's worth a try.
     
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  4. Leaborb192

    Leaborb192 Enthusiast

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    Dec 6, 2016

    ,
     
    Last edited: Feb 19, 2019
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  5. MathGuy82

    MathGuy82 Companion

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    Thanks for the support you all! I don't feel as bad now!
     
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  6. Leaborb192

    Leaborb192 Enthusiast

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    Dec 6, 2016

    ,
     
    Last edited: Feb 19, 2019
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  7. miss-m

    miss-m Devotee

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    Dec 6, 2016

    To be honest I didn't date much even before I became a teacher just because I don't get asked out (ouch -- I've had a couple boyfriends in the past 5 years but that's it) and I don't really meet new people that often. My social circle consists of church friends I've known for basically the past 3-4 years.
    This year I've been doing online dating off and on, but trying to decide if you like a stranger enough to keep going out with them is exhausting, as is sorting through all the questionable/disgusting emails and looking through the same people's pictures every day hoping someone new will show up and actually be what you're looking for. After my current Match subscription expires (just after Christmas) I think I'm done with online dating. I've been on 4 or 5 dates this year and it's just... tiring. It's definitely not for me, though I have friends who have had a lot of luck with it. So it's really a personality thing I think.

    Plus... first year of teaching is hard and I just started counseling last week because of it, so ain't nobody got time for dating.
     
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  8. MathGuy82

    MathGuy82 Companion

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    Dec 6, 2016

    Leaborb192 and Miss-m, thanks again for the support. Thanks everyone for the support!! I don't feel as bad now. I know what this is like and the strangers we can meet online that can zap even more energy out of us! You all are awesome and yes I have felt like seeing a counselor at times. Hey! at least break is coming up soon:) I hate to admit but I'm VERY excited about it!
     
  9. nklauste

    nklauste Comrade

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    Dec 7, 2016

    My first couple of years of teaching I didn't date much. I am not a very outgoing person in general, so dating was never something I did anyway. I met my husband online (pof.com) shortly after I moved to where I teach now. I met some crazy people online, but just made it a rule that I only met them in very public locations (parks, restaurants, etc.) and always drove myself until I felt comfortable with them.
     
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  10. TeacherCuriousExplore

    TeacherCuriousExplore Cohort

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    Dec 8, 2016

    I teach PreK and I am currently in a relationship with my boyfriend that I met online almost a year ago. Even though I am in a relationship, teaching really gets the best in terms of date night. I leave from work at 5:30 and be at home by 6:15. By the time I get home, we both are tired so we just do take out for dinner. During the weekends we catch up on house duties. then have tons of homework because I am in Grad school. For instance, I will not be home until 8:00 tonight. I have choir practice at a church I attend that lasts for almost an hour and half.

    Online dating is great as long as you take precautions. My highschool teacher met his wife on Eharmony and I have a few teacher buds that do Tinder. I met my boyfriend from Plenty of Fish. Online dating is the norm. We spend majority of our time on social media so it is likely to find a mate it because that is where we spend majority of the time.
    My cousin's brother met his wife of almost 6 years on Facebook.
     
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  11. scholarteacher

    scholarteacher Connoisseur

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    Dec 8, 2016

    I was married in college, and taught, while married, for 20 years. Since my ex ran off with a "woman of ill repute", I've been single for 14 years, and don't date much at all. I work at school about 50 hours a week, and work a 2nd job. I spend time with my adult kids and my grandkids, and don't have the time or energy for much else! If God drops a new guy in my lap, I'm thinking maybe it will be after retirement! :)
     
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  12. MathGuy82

    MathGuy82 Companion

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    Thanks for all of the support!! Teachercurious explore works goes to grad school too wow that's lots of work. I'm glad people aren't thinking online dating is bad. And artteacher, you work a second job!! That's a lot!
     
  13. shoreline02

    shoreline02 Cohort

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    Dec 8, 2016

    I second many of the posts here! I met my current boyfriend while playing an online virtual game (secondlife) . We've been together about 4 years now. My first year teaching was also the first year we moved in together and that was rough but now it's gotten a lot better. Best of luck! And I know a friend of mine uses Tinder.
     
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  14. MathGuy82

    MathGuy82 Companion

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    Dec 10, 2016

    You all are awesome!! I need to post here more often! It's good to be able to talk to others who are feeling the same way. I'm tired of so many saying that online dating is worthless. But yet we are so busy, have so many things to do at home while grading, and the bar/club scene isn't my thing anymore. It's not that I don't like bars it's just the fact with all the new laws basically more than one or two drinks could get you a DUI. Do I miss the days where someone would take turns being the designated driver. As long as it wasn't me:) lol I think I'll start doing the online deal and going to church a little more. We need our social lives outside of teaching!
     
    Last edited: Dec 10, 2016
  15. emiliaroyals

    emiliaroyals Rookie

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    Jul 6, 2021

    I'm 55. Single never been married. Looking ahead -- as of now -- I see no marriage prospects, ever.
     
  16. LauraW

    LauraW Rookie

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    I'm divorced and have two kids. I think I have little chance to find a good father for my kids. My bff tells me to register on a dating site. I hesitate as I've never done this before. She persuades me because she'd met her husband in such way and they are happy. So she's completely for online dating and says ppl can find even friends there. I don't know what to do. I've read silversingles com review and it seems I could at least try.
     
    Last edited: Jul 14, 2021
  17. happymangle

    happymangle Rookie

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    Aug 25, 2021

    I was single for about 4 years in total. Met a lovely girl online.We are together for 3 months now and she spends all the weekends in my place. There is only one thing which is bothering me - her profile on mega personal detroit is still active. Does it mean she is still actively searching for someone else or she just forgot to delete her account? I've been going to start this conversation forever now... I know i should talk to her...
     
    Last edited: Sep 8, 2021
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  18. Tired Teacher

    Tired Teacher Connoisseur

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    Aug 25, 2021

    You need to ask her asap. If she is solely committed to getting to know you better, she will delete it asap. If not, you know where she stands.
     
  19. stephenpe

    stephenpe Connoisseur

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    Aug 26, 2021

    I began posting here decades ago. I retired a little early because my wife had chckd out in our marriage. I was coming home and doing everything she should have. So after being retired for awhile we got lucky. A friend was willing to sell her a house I could afford and for the first time in 42 yrs I was completely single. It was strange because she had a hard time leaving and was scared. So she gradually left. Btw we met at my school. Things were going pretty good for me. Finally I tried to date and met up with an old classmate from HS. We hit it off and are now planning on her retirment and getting married. Crazily my ex was now jealous and suddenly needed me to help her all the time. I think she now realizes I have moved on. She just uses me. I realize it but everyone says Im too nice. We have two teens together so I feel some need to help. I pay for everything with them. Honestly, its like having a third child. Now I have to balance my still helping her and my new life.

    Mathguy. Dont limit your opportunities. Maybe miss right works in your school. Or in some online place. It just takes some initiative and energy. But its also nice going home and not having to worry the music is too loud or you made a mess.......btw I was a math guy. Taught lots of math in addition to PE in my small school.
     

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