Shutting Down when Disciplined

Discussion in 'Preschool' started by maebowler, Nov 5, 2009.

  1. maebowler

    maebowler Comrade

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    Nov 5, 2009

    I have a morning class and an afternoon class. In both classes there are girls (one in each class) that shut down when they are disciplined or redirected. When I say shut down, I mean, they stop where they are, put their head down, and refuse to do anything, sometimes for the rest of the day. I am looking for ideas to help them coop differently. Yesterday one of them was asked to move to her correct spot for music and she moved but then she said there pouting and refusing to do the activity. It was driving me nuts, so I went over and talked to her and then we went for a walk to get a drink of water and when we came back she was better. I can't do that all the time though because there are times when she is legitimately in trouble and needs to be disciplined. Any ideas? The teacher and teacher aide in the classroom don't seem concerned. It just bothers me that they freeze up for such a long time.
     
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  3. maebowler

    maebowler Comrade

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    Nov 6, 2009

    Any ideas?
     
  4. dr.gator

    dr.gator Comrade

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    Nov 6, 2009

    I have found that children shut down because of a bad experience being disciplined previously, so I use the situation to teach children how to effectively cope with being disciplined. Yes, they take much more time to discipline than others, but eventually they learn that you are not threatening them in any way with your discipline, you are only correcting their behaviors.

    So, how to discipline? Very gently....don't be too too confrontational. Explain, what you are doing and why you are doing it. Tell the child that it is the behavior not the child that you are disappointed with and that you know they can make better choices. Take it one step at a time. Eventually you will reap the rewards of your hard work.
     
  5. teacherR

    teacherR Companion

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    Nov 6, 2009

    I agree with DR. Gator, sometimes these children just need a more gentle hand. I have a little girl in one of my classes who does the same thing. I think that preschool children want to impress you and when you call them out for negative behavior they often feel embarrassed and discouraged. I chose my word and body language carefully. I find that I can often use a playful tone with her and she will respond in a positive way. I do not scold her or embarrass her in front of the group. If she is having an issue with another student I let them do the talking and I mediate. I use friendly reminders and allow her to listen to my words and make a good choices before I use any kind of "discipline".
     
  6. maebowler

    maebowler Comrade

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    Nov 7, 2009

    Thank you both for the ideas.

    teacherR, even friendly reminders tend to cause a shut down.

    I'll definitely give the ideas a shot on Monday.
     
  7. MissScrimmage

    MissScrimmage Aficionado

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    Nov 7, 2009

    Honestly, when a kid shuts down I ignore it. I am very gentle in my approach and do my best not to shame anyone. If they want to pout afterwards that's fine, as long as they don't take it out on anyone else.

    ETA: I don't ignore the child, I ignore the behavior. I don't try to sweet talk or bribe afterwards. I just give the child some space and praise them when they re-join the group. I hope this isn't coming across as cold!
     
  8. ChristyF

    ChristyF Moderator

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    Nov 7, 2009

    LOL This could be written about 4th graders as well. I have a couple of kids who do the same thing. Both are boys, though. I tend to do the same as MissScrimmage. I give them a minute to get themselves together, then at the first opportunity, I pull them back in. With my 4th graders I can give them a little nudge , "Come on J, you don't want D to finish before you" or something along those lines. That's usually enough to bring them back. I do my best to ignore the behavior itself, though. I don't punish them for it, but I also don't reward them for it by giving them even more attention/time from the class.
     
  9. Loves the beach

    Loves the beach Companion

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    Nov 7, 2009

    I really needed to hear that! I have a student like that, and I can't treat him the same way I treat the other kids. He takes things WAY to personally. If I'm sweet, he doesn't take me seriously. If I'm more demanding, he cries and shuts down and tells everyone I'm mean to him.
     

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